Welcome to my definitive list of resources on dating, sex, relationships, and marriage, tailored specifically for men.
Compiled through years of personal development, this is the roadmap I really wish I had access to seven years ago.
Before you dive in, here are a few key points to consider:
- Think Critically: While the authors and content creators featured offer valuable insights, avoid treating them as your personal saviors or father figures. Be discerning and critical about what you read. If something doesn't align with your views or make sense, do your own research.
- Inclusivity and Specialization: Though geared mainly toward straight men, many resources on this list can offer significant benefits to gay and bisexual men (like me) as well. Stay tuned for a specialized list explicitly crafted for gay and bisexual individuals.
- Opt for an eReader: Whether you choose a Kobo or Kindle, an eReader can enhance your reading experience by minimizing distractions. Plus, you'll often find eBooks are cheaper.
- Utilize Commute Time: Take your eReader along during commutes to work or school. You'd be surprised how much you can absorb with just 20 minutes of reading daily.
- Leverage Your Library: Pay attention to your local library as a valuable resource for physical books and eBooks, helping you save money.
So, you can go ahead and explore this comprehensive guide. I'd love to hear your recommendations for any additional resources that have helped you on your journey. Enjoy the read!
1. Thomas Crown: A Comprehensive Primer for Novices in Dating and Relationship
Thomas Crown offers exceptional resources for those new to the dating game, providing a well-rounded education through blogs, podcasts, and books. His delivery is beginner-friendly, offering straightforward explanations supported by comprehensive context.
Key Resources:
Books for Texting and Social Dynamics:
- Give 'Em Hell, Kid. Vol 2: A Beginner's Guide To Texting
- Crash Queens and Motorbabies
- Demolition Lovers
- Dead! (Memoir)
Crown Daygame on Patreon (Access to audio infields and exclusive monthly Q&As)
2. Shawn T Smith: The Scholarly Approach to Modern Dating and Relationships
Shawn Smith stands out for his academic credentials—a licensed psychologist with a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He's authored an array of books that explore life, love, and the human psyche, all of which have received nearly five-star ratings on Amazon. Smith's work combines scholarly wisdom with practical advice, making it credible and actionable.
Key Resources:
- The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage
- The Woman's Guide to How Men Think: Love, Commitment, and the Male Mind
- Gatekeeper: The Tactical Guide to Commitment
- The Practical Guide to Men: How to Spot the Hidden Traits of Good Men and Great Relationships
- The User's Guide to the Human Mind: Why Our Brains Make Us Unhappy, Anxious, and Neurotic and What We Can Do About It
- Surviving Aggressive People: Practical Violence Prevention Skills for the Workplace and the Street
Note: While "The Tactical Guide to Women" is a go-to read for men navigating the dating and marriage sphere, you'll also find Smith's other works invaluable for understanding the intricacies of human behavior and relationships.
3. Robert A. Glover: The Definitive Guide to Empowering Men in Dating
Dr. Robert A. Glover's No More Mr. Nice Guy is a seminal work regarding must-read books for men in the dating scene. This book empowers men to assert themselves, escape the pitfalls of toxic shame and anxiety, and build meaningful relationships.
But the wisdom continues; Glover has further contributions to the field, including comprehensive guides on dating.
Key Resources:
- No More Mr. Nice Guy: A foundational text for men seeking self-confidence and emotional intelligence in relationships.
- Dating Essentials for Men: The Only Dating Guide You Will Ever Need
- Dating Essentials for Men: Frequently Asked Questions
4. James Tusk: Expensive Dating Coach with a Practical Guide on Texting
While the high price tags for James Tusk and Troy Francis's daygame boot camps are ridiculous, James Tusk's guide on texting women offers a more accessible entry point.
Texting Women - The Complete Guide: Phone Number To First Date delivers practical advice and could be valuable for those looking to improve their text game without premium coaching fees.
5. The Mystery Method: The Quintessential Guide to Attraction and Cold Approach
For many, The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed by Mystery and Lovedrop is the practical bible for men's dating. The book rigorously explores the foundations of attraction, the dynamics of the sexual marketplace, and the art of cold approaching. It's indispensable for anyone serious about understanding the complex rules and nuances of dating and attraction.
6. Kill Your Inner Loser: A Transformation Journey with Practical Insights
Andy's blog, Kill Your Inner Loser, takes readers along on his self-transformative journey, offering pragmatic tips. He is most acclaimed for his Free Tinder Guide, which provides actionable steps for success on the popular dating app. Though Andy's coaching sessions have been criticized for their high price tag, his free resources offer valuable insights that may make up for it.
Key Resources:
7. Good Looking Loser Blog: A Legacy of Candid Dating Advice
The Good Looking Loser Blog once stood as a robust source for dating wisdom, albeit with some controversial recommendations like using Kratom. While the original site appears to be down, an archive of its content has been preserved on The Red Pill Archive.
8. The Lay Reports by Jon Sinn: A Pioneer’s Memoir of Practical Pickup
One of the earliest figures in the pickup artist scene, Jon Sinn's The Lay Reports is a memoir of his dates, same-day lays, and other crazy stories packed with actionable advice.
For an in-depth analysis, check out the thread by Nash from Days of Game, available here.
9. The Redpill Archive: A Comprehensive Repository for Men’s Dating Wisdom
The Redpill Archive is a one-stop shop for those interested in red pill philosophy and men's dating advice. Although not a book, this free-to-use archive aggregates many books, blogs, and subreddits. Its search functionality allows for targeted exploration, making finding specific authors or topics easy.
10. The Red Pill Handbook (Second Edition): A Curated Compilation of Defining Ideas with a Cautionary Note
As a snapshot of the now-deleted subreddit r/theredpill, The Red Pill Handbook (Second Edition) is a selective collection of the most impactful posts and comments. The handbook is a valuable resource but should be navigated thoughtfully to prevent being consumed by its sometimes polarizing perspectives.
11. Ex-Red Pill: A Counterbalance to Red Pill Orthodoxy
The Ex-Red Pill subreddit (r/exredpill) serves as a reflective space where former adherents and critics of the Red Pill dissect its potential drawbacks and harmful impacts. Offering a counter-narrative, this community adds nuanced perspectives to the discourse. Its standout post, the 'Red Pill Detox First Aid Kit,' provides a consolidated list of resources for those seeking a more balanced view.
12. Tom Torero: A Lasting Legacy of Practical Dating Insights
While Tom Torero sadly committed suicide a couple of years ago, his contributions to dating and relationships live on. Known for his practical textbooks like "Street Hustle" and "Daygame," as well as captivating memoirs such as "Below the Belt" and "Cold Calling," his body of work continues to help out thousands of young men.
His archived YouTube videos and courses like "Stealth Seduction" and "Badass Buddha" are also excellent resources.
13. The DiCarlo Escalation Ladder: A Streamlined Guide to Sexual Escalation
For those seeking a concise, step-by-step guide to sexual escalation, The DiCarlo Escalation Ladder delivers. Available as a free PDF online, this resource outlines the phases of physical intimacy from the initial encounter to the bedroom.
14. 60-Year Challenge: The Secrets of Micro-Escalation and Escalating the Vibe
The "60 Year Challenge" is a free PDF designed to unpack the essentials of KINO, a term that refers to the art of touch as a means of sexual escalation. It focuses on micro-escalation techniques, providing foundational knowledge on heightening intimacy through calculated and smooth physical interactions.
15. The Red Quest: A Balanced Voice in the Manosphere
The Red Quest distinguishes himself as one of the more level-headed figures in the pickup artist and red pill communities. His balanced perspectives and practical advice are refreshing, making his blog and two books a valuable resource for those navigating the complex world of dating and relationships.
16. V’s Guide to Texting: A Quick Dive into Effective Texting
Mr. V's Guide to Texting is a concise and free PDF resource focusing on the art of texting—from securing a phone number to initiating dates.
17. Nick Krauser: A Crazy Guy with Noteworthy Dating Advice
Nick Krauser is a paradox in the dating world. His books, notably 'Daygame Mastery' and 'Daygame Infinite,' are considered seminal works on daygame and seduction. His memoirs like 'Adventure Sex' and 'Balls Deep' are engaging reads. However, Krauser has significant ethical concerns: he's been identified as a white supremacist, homophobic, Holocaust denier, and anti-Semite. These alarming viewpoints are documented on his blog and additional sites like krauserpuaexposed.blogspot.com.
18. Rian Stone: A Balanced Red Pill Perspective
Rian Stone emerges as a refreshing, balanced voice in the often polarizing Red Pill community. His first book, "Fuccfiles," offers insightful advice with some personal dating stories. I'm looking forward to reading his second book, "Praxeology, Volume 1: Frame: On self-actualization for the modern man."
His YouTube channel is also a great source of nuanced views within the Red Pill space.
19. Dating Armory: Your Go-To Source for Practical Relationship Advice
Yes, that's right—this is my platform, Coach Colt's stage.
DatingArmory.com is dedicated to delivering practical, no-BS relationship guidance.
For actionable insights, look at my standout articles like "74 Methods To Tease A Girl" or "How To Touch A Girl: 47 Smooth Techniques."
And this is just the tip of the iceberg; much more valuable content is coming!
20: She Comes First by Ian Kerner: Mastering the Art of Female Pleasure
For men committed to understanding female sexuality, Ian Kerner's "She Comes First" is a non-negotiable reading. From anatomy to the fine art of oral sex, this book equips you with the techniques to satisfy your partner and any woman you may encounter.
Think of it as an advanced course in female pleasure penned by an expert in sexual health.
21: Book of Pook: Light-Hearted Wisdom on Dating and Relationships
The anonymously written Book of Pook delivers a fun and carefree approach to interacting with women without sinking into commitment traps. This free resource is worth reading for those looking to navigate the dating scene without excessive seriousness. For a deeper dive, Rian Stone has an enlightening YouTube series that complements the book's wisdom (see below).
22: Brad P: Diary of a Pickup Artist
Brad P's memoir is rich in hands-on wisdom about approaching women and creating successful hookups. The book is freely accessible online. For a full review, read this thread from Nash.
23: Primal Seduction by Steve Jabba and Nick Krauser: A Resource with Caveats
Primal Seduction excels in teaching the inner game and fostering empowering mindsets.
However, it comes with a word of caution: Steve Jabba has been promoting questionable dating apps on his site, and we've already touched on the craziness of Nick Krauser.
24: The Social Skills Guidebook by Chris MacLeod MSW: The Building Blocks Before Dating
Although not a dating guide per se, The Social Skills Guidebook addresses the often overlooked but crucial foundational social skills that many men lack. Before diving into the nuances of seduction and dating, building these basic skills can significantly improve one's social interactions and, by extension, dating experiences.
The Social Skills Guidebook Cover
The Social Skills Guidebook Inside Preview
25: The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene: A Theoretical Dive into Seduction
Despite the author's looking like he's never seduced a soul, The Art of Seduction offers an enlightening look into the social mechanics of seduction. The book is more of a theoretical discourse filled with intriguing stories and examples rather than a guide packed with actionable dating advice.
26: The Charisma Myth: How to Engage, Influence and Motivate People by Olivia Fox Cabane
The Charisma Myth unpacks the elusive concept of charisma into three actionable principles: Power, Presence, and Warmth. While not a dating manual, this book provides essential skills for becoming more likable and influential, qualities that naturally extend to your dating life.
Below is a talk she gave 10 years ago which I still find very useful:
27: The Game by Neil Strauss: The Seminal Pickup Artist Odyssey
Neil Strauss's The Game is the initiation for many into the world of pickup artistry. Though not structured as a dating guide, the book offers a deep dive into the PUA community, its techniques, and the stories that come with it.
28: A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships by Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam
Leveraging the unprecedented dataset of internet search history, 'A Billion Wicked Thoughts' offers an unfiltered exploration into the sexual preferences of both men and women.
29: David M. Buss: The Evolutionary Psychology of Human Sexuality
David M. Buss is an authoritative voice in evolutionary psychology, specifically focusing on human mating strategies and sexual behavior. His works are foundational texts for anyone looking to understand human sexuality through a scientific lens.
Some of his top books:
- The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating
- Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind (6th Edition)
- Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between)
- David M. Buss's Amazon Author Page
- Website (check for all his podcasts and interviews)
- X/ Twitter
Similar works include:
- Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha
- Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles by Robin Baker
- The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins
30: The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi: A Mixed Bag in Men’s Dating Advice
Rollo Tomassi's "The Rational Male" is a foundational text offering a blunt, no-nonsense guide to male dating dynamics. It stands out for its unfiltered take on relationships and its transformative impact on readers.
Points of Contention:
- Subsequent books like "The Rational Male - The Players Handbook: A Red Pill Guide to Game" can be seen as incongruent, given Tomassi's long-term marriage.
- Recent ventures into crypto courses and connections with controversial figures such as "Fresh & Fit" raise questions about his current motivations.
Resources:
31: The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
For men grappling with ADHD, this book is invaluable for understanding its impact on relationships. It offers a six-step plan to rebuild your relationship, tackling the unique challenges posed by ADHD in the context of dating and partnerships.
Additional Resource:
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adult ADHD: An Integrative Psychosocial and Medical Approach (2nd Edition) by J. Russell Ramsay provides another comprehensive strategy for managing ADHD in adult life, including relationships.
32: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
For men dealing with the fallout of Complex PTSD, this book serves as a guide to "not just surviving, but thriving." Pete Walker delves into how this form of PTSD affects interpersonal dynamics, providing valuable insights for better relationships and dating experiences.
While the book is not a substitute for professional care, it offers a layer of understanding and coping strategies that can be beneficial in a relational context.
Below is an excellent with the author:
33: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul T. T. Mason MS and Randi Kreger
This book is a must-have if you're a guy with BPD or someone you're dating has BPD. It'll protect you in more ways than you can imagine and is recommended by dozens of experienced mental health practitioners.
34: Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe: Building Physical Attraction through Strength Training
While Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe doesn't tackle dating or relationships, it does focus on something almost universally appealing—physical strength and aesthetics. As a guide to the fundamentals of strength training, it can indirectly boost your attractiveness and confidence; two factors often correlated with dating success.
35: The NEW Comedy Bible by Judy Carter: Humor as the Unsung Hero of Dating
Though Judy Carter's The NEW Comedy Bible is geared toward aspiring comedians, its principles can easily translate to the dating world. A good sense of humor is a universally appealing trait and can set you apart in the dating game.
Hi Colt, thanks for the list. The real problem is not the lack of books, it’s that there’s too many books and you just don’t know which are BS!!
You’re welcome Steve!