24 Subtle Techniques To Get Any Guy To Notice You & 5 Common Mistakes You Must Avoid

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What could be easier? Just point a high powered laser into his eyes. I bet that’ll get his attention!

If that doesn’t work you could always scream his name across the lunchroom or light a firecracker in his face….

Ohhhh…. You want to get him to notice you in a good way so that he feels irresistibly attracted to you and maybe even commits to you...

Well, why didn’t you just say so?

No need to worry because in the next 4 and half minutes, you’ll have all the techniques necessary to get any type of guy to notice you: shy, flirty, bad boy, rich guy, etc.

Let’s get started!

1. Playfight with him

Play fighting is literally the bread and butter of flirting and you better be doing it.

Examples? Here you go:

  1. 1
    Pillow fight
  2. 2
    Tickle and pinch him
  3. 3
    Try to tackle him
  4. 4
    Lay on top of him so it makes it really hard for him to get up
  5. 5
    Push him into the swimming pool
  6. 6
    Play basketball with him
  7. 7
    Spray water onto him with a water gun or a water bottle

Besides being a lot of fun, this will also make him a lot more comfortable with you allowing him to initiate with you.

2. Teasingly push him away

As he’s bragging about something, push him away as if to say “get out of here”.

You get extra points if you push him off his balance. 

I’ll add that the reason why guys like this is because it makes you more of a conquest - physically - and guys love winning over a girl's resistance (more ideas like this at 15 Steps [With Examples] to Play Hard to Get).

3. Fix his clothing

OK, let’s make this clear: I don’t recommend flirting in the workplace in general (for many reasons, but mostly because guys are scared of being falsely accused of sexaul assualt and losing their job, reputation, etc). 

However, if he’s a rich guy really like, here’s the best way to get him to see you at work:

Fix his clothing.

  • If you think his tie is off, do him a favor and redo it yourself.
  • If his collar is messed up, fix it up.
  • If his suit is wrinkled, smooth it out.

The idea is that you combine your magical physical touch with your innocent helping hand. 

4. Seductively touch him

Moving away from being an innocent, cute girl, here are some ways to force him to think about you all day with these seductive touching techniques:

Touch his arm

A couple different ways to do this:

  1. Caress his arm while admiring his tattoo
  2. Play with bracelet and run it up and down his arm
  3. Pull him towards you by his arm
  4. Playfully pinch his arm and even pull on his arm hair (another way to playfight)


Touch his shoulder & neck

  1. Lead your head on his shoulders
  2. Give him a pick hug and lightly press your head on this side of his head
  3. Give him a forehead/neck kiss
  4. Tickle the back of his neck
  5. Play with his necklace 

Just remember to be soft because a guy's neck is a very vulnerable place, so always caress softly and build trust. 

Touch his hand

The easiest way to touch a guy's hand is… well, to hold his hand.

And although I don’t have an article for girls, I do have an article for guys about just this topic titled How to Hold a Girl's Hand in 9 Simple Ways

So if you don’t mind, I’m gonna head over there and steal some techniques:

  1. Accidentally bump into has as you’re walking together and stick your hands out
  2. Experiment for other ways of holding hands (Interlocking fingers, over the shoulder, holding one finger, hold his wrist lightly, using both of your hands to hold his hand)
  3. If you’re sitting side by side, place you hand on his lap and let him caress your hand
  4. Play with his fingers, just do your best not to bend his fingers 180 degrees backwards!
kissing is another way of making a guy obsess over you

Touch his thigh

Oh - you want to get hot and horny, well then, here are some ideas for you:

  1. Rub your hands up and down his thigh - and then higher 😉
  2. If you’re sitting across from him rub your foot up his thigh and even on his crotch (bonus points if you secretly do it while other people are around)
  3. Innocently sit on his and maybe even get him to read you a book then subtle start grinding on his making it hard to focus

More ideas here: 25 exclusive ways to turn on a guy and make him horny

5. Show him some cleavage

Best way to sexually grab any man's attention is by teasing him with a bit of cleavage.

Best way to sexually grab any man's attention is by teasing him with a bit of cleavage

Note: the following 3 techniques we’re borrowed from my other articles 25 exclusive ways to turn on a guy and make him horny and How to seduce a man: 19 techniques [with examples] - so if these techniques work for you, make sure to check out those articles too.

The playful boobs technique

Although this works with any body part that gets guys crazy (butt, long hair, etc.), we’ll use boobs as our example here:

  1. Wait till your guy is near you or even talking to you 
  2. Simply start playing with your boobs (moving around, adjusting your bra, pressing them together, etc.)
  3. Appear like you are enjoying yourself -  you can even slip in a moan or 2 
  4. [Optional] Then look at him with a cheeky smile and say that you had to fix up your bra

You’ll notice that you’ll really grab your guy's attention when you really seem like you’re enjoying your body. 


Because it shows him that you are self-sufficient and don’t need anyone to feel sexy which creates that seductive “effortlessly-sexy” effect. 

The boob hug technique

A classic way to get a guy to feel your boobs and thereby steal his mind is by giving him a boob-ful hig. 

There are a couple ways of doing this:

  1. The regular hug, but you really press your boobs on him
  2. The hug from behind (great if he’s sitting down gaming), but your press your boobs his head
  3. The straddle hug facing him, but you guide his head towards your boobs

Each of these techniques are fine, it really just depends on the situation and what you feel comfortable doing.

The oops technique

No Einstein theories here, all you do is lean down for whatever reason - cleaning, dropping something, etc - and let him catch a glimpse of your boobs.

6. Dress good for him

OK, couple things to notice here:

  1. You want to dress good, but too hot that he feels intimidated to approach you
  2. “Dress good for him” - save your makeup for the times you know you’ll be with him

Let him see your hips, some cleavage. Get your hair and nails done, maybe braid it nicely. 

7. Use attention-grabbing perfume

When I approach a girl and she’s smelling amazing I am more likely to grab her number and take her on a date. 

It shows me that the girl cares about herself and her appearance which is super important if he’s looking for anything past a one night stand.

attention-grabbing perfume is perfect for getting a guy to notice you

However, I’m no perfume expert so you’ll be left to do your own research on finding the right perfume for yourself (although I bet you already have a couple of good bottles).

8. Use The Ultimate Flirting Technique 

Although The Ultimate Flirting Technique takes guts to pull off, it is the best way to get any man to notice you and take you seriously especially if you're at school, a party, school or even at church.

Here are 4 parts to The Ultimate Flirting Technique

  1. 1
    Leaning your head over to the side 
  2. 2
    Turning your chin slightly downwards 
  3. 3
    Looking up into his eyes with a slight wink
  4. 4
    Sexy lip biting or playing

I’d also like to point out that even in the past couple of months there have (probably) been lots of attractive guys interested in you, yet they didn’t approach you.

Why - you ask. 

Good question - it’s because they didn’t know if you were interested in them and didn’t want to risk rejection. 

The good news is that this is exactly where The Ultimate Flirting Technique comes in: it tells your man that you clearly want him and that all he has to do is approach you.

No more lost opportunities. 

9. Make your man feel funny

Everyone knows that girls like guys who can make them laugh, but guess what? It also works the other way around: guys like girls that laugh at their jokes. 

It makes them feel more masculine and boosts their ego.

Make him feel manly around you and he won’t be able to pull himself away.

a sweet smile is enough to get a mans attention

So what are the best ways to make a guy feel funny?

  1. Talk about his joke hours after you laughed about it together
  2. Build onto his joke with another joke
  3. Share his joke with your friends while he’s around

You can also use this technique whenever you try to make anyone feel better, this is not limited to your crush.

10. The Friendly Conversation Technique

Works great at school/ college: 

You approach the guys you’re interested in and start asking him normal questions as if you we’re trying to be friends so that he feel comfortable:

  1. Who’s your favorite comedian? [From 100 funny first date questions - no more awkward dates!]
  2. What is the most useless thing your parents taught you [From 100 Weird [And Unusual] Questions To Ask A Guy

Then as you’re having a nice conversation move to more personal, flirty and even sexual questions, such as:

  1. Did you ever have a crush on a teacher [From 100 Flirty [And Cute] Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend
  2. How did you get such a sexy smile [From 100 Flirty [And Cute] Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend
  3. What is one thing you would change about yourself if you could? [From https://datingarmory.com/deep-questions-to-ask-a-guy/

You get the idea: start innocently, like you just want to be friends, then guide the conversation to being more personal and once you’re there you can easily ask him out for a simple coffee date.

11. Ask him to help with you something

Here are some easy and simple examples:

  1. Asking him to lend you a pencil
  2. Asking him to tell you “if you look good”
  3. Asking to help you bring something big to your car
  4. Asking him help with an assignment 
  5. Asking him to help you with your computer

Avoid asking him for anything major such as helping moving to another apartment or fixing your car because he’ll probably just say no or resent you.

On the flip side, guys love helping girls with small things because it makes them feel like a hero which is a super addicting feeling for guys.

On a more personal note I know girls that have used techniques like this to arouse this hero feeling/instinct in men and have gotten men to quite literally obsess over them and give them money

You can learn about the Hero Feeling/Instinct in this video by James Baur and if you have the time, I’d definitely check out his eBook; you’ll be able to read any guy's mind from the moment you see him.

12. Give him a compliment

Any guy will tell you that he rarely gets compliments which is kinda sad, but you can use this insecurity to your advantage… and here’s how:

Use the touch compliment technique

Don’t just compliment his muscles, instead, touch him arms, admire his muscles then say your compliment. 

Same goes for hair, necklace, etc. 

I teach the same things for guys and it works wonders. 

Compliment him, not his clothing

Option A: “that’s a good-looking shirt”

Option B “damn, that was a perfect choice of shirt for this sunny day.”

Obviously, option B is much better. You always want to compliment him, not the shirt. 

End your compliment with a question 

We’ll continue with our previous example:

Option A: damn, that was a perfect choice of shirt for this sunny day.”

Option B: damn, that was a perfect choice of shirt for this sunny day, where did you get your sense of style?”

Option B is obviously better, but why?

It’s because it allows him to accept the compliment without an awkward silence by talking about “how he got his sense of style.”

And that’s it, now you know how to give a guy a compliment so he gives you his full attention.

13. Make yourself available to be alone with him

Quite simply, if he’s alone with you, you’ll have his full attention.

In addition to that, all the social pressure from his friends will be gone so he'll be a lot more likely to make the bold move to kiss you, take you home, etc. 

Here’s what you can say to have him to yourself:

  1. 1
    If you’re at a bar or a nightclub, tell him that it’s too loud for you
  2. 2
    Tell him that you need to feed your fish at home 
  3. 3
    Tell him that there’s a real cool area around the corner that you want to show him/ needs to see

An article that may interest you from a guys perspective is called 22 Smooth Steps to Approach Girls at the Bar [& 34 Practical Examples] where you’ll learn how guys take girls home.

14. Get your friends to get his attention for you

Shy and need to get him to notice you? No problem, this technique is for you:

All you need to do is ask your friends to introduce you and maybe even get him to approach you. 

Just remember what we said earlier, the only thing that guys really need to know is that you’re single and interested - after knowing that, they will be more than happy to do all the work.

15. Make a big deal out of his compliments. 

Sometimes the best compliment for a guy is showing how much his compliments mean to you.

For example:

  • He compliments you hair, tell him that he’s the first one who noticed your specific hair style and talk about how happy it makes you feel that a guy finally noticed
  • He compliments your dress, tell him how much time you put into picking that specific dress and that you’re so happy you picked the right design

Just imagine how you’d feel if someone brushed off your compliment like it never mattered, how would you feel? This technique flips the script. 

16. Ask for directions

This technique is way overused by guys when approaching girls in the street (“Do you know where the nearest StarBucks is? - By the way, you are so pretty, what is your name?”), but as a girl this technique is just fine.

Just approach a guy you like and ask him for directions then pivot with a compliment, start having a regular conversation and go on an insta date to the nearest coffee shop.

17. Seem excited when you see him

I don’t know any sane man that would dump a girl who excitedly greets him every time he gets home, especially if she has a nice dinner ready for him.

This is no surprise, but I’ll tell you what - this works even before you’re his girlfriend. 

If you show him that you’re happy every time he comes to school or wherever you see him, he’ll definitely notice you and see you as girlfriend or wife material. 

showing a guy that youre happy to see him like this will definetly get his attention

18. Ask him out

As we approach the end of this article I want to talk about the ultimate way to get a guy's attention: ask him out.

See, guys really are stupid. 

OK, maybe not stupid, but they defienly can miss basically any hint you throw at him:

  • What's subtle to you is invisible to him.
  • What's obvious to you is subtle to him.
  • What's obvious to the point of embarrassment to you, is starting to be visible to him.

So what can you say or do to ask a guy out?

  1. Start by asking him if he’s single, then tell him that you’re single and let him take it from there
  2. Tell him that you’d love to continue the conversation later, maybe over coffee, and without being forceful just hand him your number and invite him to call you “whenever”
  3. Tell him that there’s a cool bar at “so-and-so” that you’d love to explore together
  4. If you’re talking about one of his hobbies, ask him to teach you some, if it’s woodworking I can assure you that you’ll have awesome first date
  5. Tell him about a cool event coming to the city then tell him that you’d like to go together

If you have other tips or techniques that have worked for you, make sure you leave them in the comments! [1]

19. How to get a guy to notice you on social media/ Instagram/ online

The principles stay the same whether you’re on social media or in person, however, the the way you apply the principles can be different, so here's how you do it:

  1. Have a really nice profile with tons of cute pictures of yourself
  2. First find what he’s interested (cars, woodworking, etc)
  3. Like his pics
  4. Find out what kind of friends he has
  5. Put a comment on one his posts or send him a DM about one his posts
  6. Continue the conversation as userful, share numbers and have your first date [2]

20. Don’t put a resting bitch face on

I need a girl to explain to me why there are so many otherwise hot girls walking around with a “resting bitch face” - I’d say it takes your attractive level down a couple points easily. 

Smile Goddamn it!

If you want a guy to approach you, your superpower is your smile. Please don’t ruin it with a pointless, angry face.

21. Do not try to make him feel jealous 

Classic PUA techniques teach men to make girls jealous because it makes them appear high value. And it works… but not the other way around.

Guys don’t respond to girls who try to make them jealous. 

Here’s a list of things to avoid:

  1. Wearing a wedding ring
  2. Talking about other guys you’ve dated
  3. Talking about other guys who are constantly trying to win you over
  4. Don’t brag about hookups

These things usually disgust guys instead of attracting them!

22. Don’t complain about other guys approaching you

Another mistake girls make is when they complain about all the other guys that hit on them.

All this does is make him feel like he’s not wanted and that he’s doing the wrong thing by even talking to you.

23. Don’t criticize any girl he’s dating

Let's say you’re in love with this popular guy and he’s dating other girls while you’re trying to get your foot in the door. 

The worst thing you could do in a situation like this is poke fun at one of his girls calling her names, etc. 

Just be respectful, serve him well and with time he’ll drop his side bitches.

24. Don’t criticize him 

And lastly, never, ever criticize a guy in the effort of getting him to notice you.

It doesn’t make you look like a badass, and he’ll probably just get offended and never want to speak to you again.

As mentioned, compliments are always the way to go.


We’ve covered the subtle signs, bold moves and all the things to avoid in order to get any man to notice you. 

But now it’s time for you to head out and try these techniques. 

What I recommend you do is start slow with a guy you already know and if you’re having any trouble, check out the Hero Instinct video by James Bauer we mentioned earlier. 

Good luck.

Colt Smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

How To Flirt With a Guy In Any Situation: 43 Examples

17 Moves: Meeting & Approaching Guys at the Bar and Getting Guys to Approach You

Rich, Single & Hot! 73 Best Places To Meet Men [Tips Included]

20 Moves: Meeting & Approaching Guys at the Gym! [& Getting Guys to Approach You]