“Why Do I Like Skinny Guys!?” Truth About Why Skinny Guys Are Attractive

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Before we dive deep into why some girl like skinny guys, let me hit you with a story about how I almost died by choking on an orange. 

- And I swear, it's totally connected!

Once upon a time, when I was merely 8 years old, my family and I gathered around our cozy kitchen table, savoring the juicy sweetness of oranges.

As I watched my father effortlessly swallow the orange slices nearly whole, I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe.

Determined to mimic his impressive skill, I attempted the same.

Alas, it ended in disaster.

The orange lodged itself in my throat, and panic set in as I struggled to breathe.

My siblings leaped into action—one hurriedly dialing for an ambulance, while my father took a more hands-on approach:
He hoisted me upside down, shaking me vigorously like a pair of pants desperate to be rid of their crumbs.

But that wasn't enough.

With a final, decisive move, my father flipped me back up and plunged his hand into my throat to retrieve the menacing orange chunk.

Gasping for air, I could breathe again, but the ordeal left me with burst veins around my eyes and a lingering sense of shock.

In the aftermath, my father kindly offered me some of his mouth watering salad (yes, he still makes a killer, garlic bomb of a salad), but I couldn't bring myself to accept.

That year, my parents opted to remove my large tonsils, although the wisdom of that decision remains unclear to this day.

Even before this harrowing experience, my appetite was modest at best. The choking incident only heightened my caution around food, and as a growing boy with a lightning-fast metabolism, I became alarmingly thin—so much so that my parents affectionately called me "Bone."

Time passed, and I eventually transformed my eating habits, embraced the gym, and sculpted a physique I could be proud of:

The author of this article posing, showing his back muscles

Me, on my recent trip to Portugal 

Now, as someone who was once the epitome of skinny (plus I’m a bisexual man), I find myself uniquely qualified to delve into this intriguing question which even girls ask themselves: 

In a world where muscles are undeniably attractive, why do some girls still find skinny guys appealing?

We could chat about a bunch of reasons, but I think the simplest answer is this:

#1 Women Value Diverse Traits In Men, Not Just Muscles

It's true: no research has shown that a significant group of women go for less muscular guys when checking out guys. [1]

a chart showing that generally speaking, women do not prefer skinny guys

So yeah, looks and muscles can be important, but they just get your foot in the door, and maybe a girl will give you her number 'cause you're cute.

But when it comes to actually dating her, especially if she's hot, you've gotta back up those looks with confidence, charm, and some serious skills in the bedroom! 

Because at the end of the day, ladies have a whole wish list of things they want in a guy, and being ripped is just one part of it. 

Here's a quick list of some stuff women often look for in guys:

  1. Confidence
  2. Sense of humor
  3. Financial security
  4. Kindness
  5. High status
  6. Muscles
  7. Passion and ambition
  8. Big dick (sadly, mine is too big)
  9. Respect and honesty
  10. Height
  11. Facial hair - And here’s why girls loooove beards on men!
  12. Style
  13. Romance
  14. Creativity

A girl's attraction isn't some basic math equation like:

"More muscles = more attractive." 

It's more about balancing the different things she likes in a guy. 

So, if a dude's ripped but doesn't have 75% of the other cool traits, why would a girl wanna date him? Instead, she'll go for a different guy who checks most of her boxes, even if he's on the skinny side.


There’s also such thing as too much muscle as you can see in this inverse-U chart:

A chart showing how skinny guys can be more attractive than overly muscular men


That's also why you should hit the gym for yourself, not just for girls. 

Because when it comes down to it, muscles alone won't score you a girlfriend. It's like having a sick motorcycle—sure, you can take girls for a ride and have a blast, but that bike won't magically bring girls into your life.

why do girls like skinny guys thumbnail

#2 Skinny Guys: Charm Outweighs Muscle Mass

Skinny guys, unlike muscular guys, may feel the need to compensate for their lack of muscles by developing a great personality, making them fantastic for serious relationships.

Important note:

This article is actually a short excerpt from my 16,000 mega post titled: Why Girls Like Muscles: Unveiling 41 Secrets [Science Based].

If you like in depth, no BS articles full of useful infographics, you’ll love my mega post so go check it out now!

#3 The Cultural Shift In Girl’s Preferences For Skinny Guys

Another possible explanation is that yes, it’s true:

Women are biologically wired to be into sexy, ripped guys with six-packs. 

But because of their religion or culture, they might feel judged and so, they persuade themselves that ‘gym guys’ are just full of themselves or insecure about how they look, just to seem all "innocent" and "pure" around their friends.

Perfect example of this is an interview from 1967 in Ireland where random women were asked what they look for in a man:

And the you compare those answers to a similar interview done recently:

Clearly, a million years of evolutionary natural selection can't be overturned in just 55 years. The transformation in perceptions about male muscularity is primarily attributed to a shift in cultural dynamics.

#4 R/K Selection Unravels Skinny Guy Appeal

R-selected vs K-selected is all about choosing between having tons of kids or a few high-quality ones to keep your genes going. 

It might sound tricky, but it's actually pretty simple.

You've got your r-selected animals, like rabbits. 

They have a bunch of babies and don't really spend much time taking care of them. They just hope some of them make it. This goes for fruit flies and dandelion plants too.

Rabbits are r-selected as they can have 100's of babies in one lifetime!

Then there are K-selected animals, like elephants. They have fewer babies, but they're super invested in raising them. 

Pandas and redwood trees work the same way.

Elephants, like humans, are K-selected as have can have up to 12 calves in their lifetime and take care of their offspring 

So, where do humans fit in? 

We're K-selected, no doubt! 

We don't have a ton of kids, and we put a lot of time and resources into raising them.

Humans are K selected as parents will do everything to protect their child, including disciplining as pictured 

A picture of me as a youngster. Hated any authority figure and still do! Credit: bearfotos on Freepik 

But here’s how r/K selection might explain why (some) girls like skinny guys:

It kinda makes sense that people land at different spots on the r/K selection scale, right? 

(And there's even some research that may back that up.) 

So, check this out:

Some girls lean more toward the r-selected side, which means they're a bit more promiscuous and really into hot, muscular guys for hookups.

A good example of this is Shame Deelz, who knew from a young age that following a religious lifestyle was not for her, that she always felt more sexual and that no one could sl*t shame her out of it:

Other girls are more K-selected, so they're all about monogamy and deep connections with good, loyal men. In this case, muscles don't matter as much.

And there you have it!

The reason why some girls like skinny guys is because they lie more K-selected and aren’t looking for those hot, good genes. They are all about parental investment. [2, 3]

Totally irrelevant, but here's another super cool article by me:

Falling in Love: 124 Signs to Tell if a Girl Likes You

Ur welcome. 

#5 Muscular Vs. Skinny: How Intimidation Affects Choice

A dude who looks like he could take on a bear is pretty scary, right? 

Girls might dig the gym guy, but they'll chat up the skinny one instead because he doesn't seem as aggressive, dominant, or violent.

Meme showing how skinny guys could be less intimidating than muscular men

#6 Body Illusions: How Girls See Skinny Guys Differently

Another reason you spot hot girls with skinny guys is that, honestly, they might not seem skinny to the girls. 

What's that about? 

Well, research shows that both guys and gals have a pretty distorted view of the perfect body shape.

Turns out, women usually dig a leaner, more muscular look for guys than what men think is ideal for themselves. 

And guys? 

They're all about a ripped physique that's actually more muscular than what women find ideal. [4, 5]

So maybe that "skinny" guy isn't so skinny from her perspective!

#7 Skinny Guys Can Seem Taller

This is a very insignificant factor all things considered: but maybe, just maybe, one reason why skinny guys can seem more attractive is that they can seem taller because they are so thin.

Sorry, gotta remind you again:

The piece you've just read is a small glimpse into my comprehensive 16,000-word post, "Why Girls Like Muscles: Unveiling 41 Secrets [Science Based]." 

If you appreciate insightful, straightforward articles enhanced with valuable infographics, you'll thoroughly enjoy this comprehensive post. 

Don't wait - explore it today! 

(And don’t worry, it’ll open in a new tab.)

#8 Past Meets Present: Childhood’s Role In Skinny Attraction

This goes for both guys and girls: 

Our childhood experiences, good and bad, can totally influence what we're into when it comes to partners. It's not a one-size-fits-all thing, but just to give you a rough idea, here's how it could relate to our topic:

Grew up super poor? You might be drawn to partners who are bigger or have a higher BMI, since that could be linked to health and wellbeing.

If you had a rough childhood with abuse or trauma (like me), you could be looking for someone larger or more muscular because it feels safer and more secure.

And now you get why some girls like skinny guys and also why some guys are into fat girls.

#9 One Size Doesn’t Fit All: The Allure Of Skinny Guys

Why do some girls dig skinny guys? 

There's no one-size-fits-all answer: Humans are just different! 

Some girls are into shy, introverted dudes (as you can read about here), while others want the mega confident team leader.

The same principle applies to men as well.

Most men prefer women with curves and slim waists:

You could get a stunning girl just like this

...While some other men are attracted to muscular women: 

Just like some men like muscular women as pictured, some women like skinny guys

Do men like dating muscular women? Definitely. 

However, it is absurd to mock men who date muscular women by labeling them as "latent homosexuals," as shown in the Twitter example below.

First of all, I don't know a man who doesn't find this woman attractive. Secondly, how is calling any man 'gay' an insult? Seriously, it's time we move past some things! Being gay is just as 'normal' as being bisexual or straight. 

We all have our distinct preferences when it comes to sexuality, and it is crucial to acknowledge and respect them: men and women. 

#10 Skinny Guys Have Huge Dicks

This is more of a meme than anything else:

the famous meme of skinny guys packing down there!

Anyways, what’s your experience? 

Do you often see skinny guys smoking hot chicks? 

Do you think I’m wrong about the reasons I listed?

Be brave and post a comment down below!

Till next time, 

Coach Colt


[1] Sell A, Lukazsweski AW, Townsley M. Cues of upper body strength account for most of the variance in men's bodily attractiveness. Proc Biol Sci. 2017 Dec 20;284(1869):20171819. doi: 10.1098/rspb.2017.1819. PMID: 29237852; PMCID: PMC5745404.

[2] Rushton JP. Do r/K reproductive strategies apply to human differences? Soc Biol. 1988 Fall-Winter;35(3-4):337-40. PMID: 3241997.

[3] Rushton, J. P. (1985). Differential K Theory: The sociobiology of individual and group differences. Personality and Individual Differences, 6(4), 441–452. https://doi.org/10.1016/0191-8869(85)90137-0

[4] Cohn, Lawrence & Adler, Nancy. (2006). Female and Male Perceptions of Ideal Body Shapes: Distorted Views Among Caucasian College Students. Psychology of Women Quarterly. 16. 69 - 79. 10.1111/j.1471-6402.1992.tb00240.x.

[5] https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/zj7fd/are_girls_attracted_to_slim_skinny_guys/

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work