How To Be Seductive – An In Depth Guide For Men

42.5 percent of the men in the U.S. are single

And men don’t want to be that way

What will you do to make yourself special and be that attractive masculine man?

In this complete guide you will learn:

  1. What really makes women or men so seductive
  2. How to exude that energy so that girls get hooked in seconds
  3. How to build a new seductive secret identity for yourself
  4. Which course I used to get over the terror that I had approaching women

I have taught these principles to many men and they have reported enormous transformation. I myself have been a miserable dude, unable to attract any girls, but now after years I have got the seduction process down.

Note to you: although I wrote this article for men, if you are a woman you also have much to gain from this article.

PART 1: The 3 Principles of Charisma

A couple years ago I read a great book called “The Charisma Myth” that changed my perspective.

The book was based on 3 principles:

  1. Power – that you have confidence and you are grounded.
  2. Presence – you are in the moment with that individual, not in the past or the future.
  3. Warmth – that you project feelings of love towards the person.

seductive woman

The greatest part of this book was that the author insisted that you could build charisma, and it wasn’t something mythical or something you were born with and can’t build.

The author proves that as long as you can exude these 3 pillars of charisma you can be charisma, no matter what your background has been.

I classify these 3 points as energies, not necessarily as traits.

You know someone is charismatic way before you even talk to him because it’s about the energy you put out, not about what you say or do.

Your energy will be the thing that hooks everyone.

And those I’m sure whenever you’ve seen someone seductive you’ve felt a certain amount or power, presence, and warmth in them, these 3 principles have been proven to be correct over and over.

At the beginning of “The Charisma Myth” the author tells the story of Marilyn Monroe, the famous, super seductive hollywood actor.

She was being followed by a photographer to make a video about her and as they passed through the subway station and took the subway she didn’t express any of her seductive and tantalizing traits, but when they got off she exclaimed, “are you ready to see her?”

And as she fluffed her hair out and let out her magnificent energy everyone flocked to her…

It was almost as if she could turn on her seduction on and off…. How did she do that?

Answer: she used the alter ego effect.

PART 2: What Is The Alter Ego Affect?

An alter ego is where you embody another character, telling your mind that you are now this character allowing you to act that character out.

I think Marilyn Monroe wasn’t “in essence” the seductive sex symbol that she showed the world. She had a hard beginning and probably discovered the alter ego effect and used it 1000 percent.

When I was incredibly insecure I used to talk quickly and act in very unattractive ways, consequently I had no friends.

But I also eventually found the alter ego effect and used it.

I created my alter ego by basically making a list of the most seductive people that I knew and the most charming people that I’ve seen.

Then I created a character that combined all those characters (using all the tools in the book: The Alter Ego Effect.)

All I had to do was to really embody the character, whatever this person would do, I would do, he/ she took over my spirit.

So “I” am not seductive, but the character that I embody is.

This is the exact force that Marilyn Monroe used.

In a minute I’ll explain how to construct an alter ego yourself in detail.

She wasn’t being herself, she was someone else. And this gave her another sexy, seductive power… mystery.

PART 3: Mystery

This plays a far bigger role than you can imagine.

Whenever you see a girl who has a super attractive personality, but it seems like she is really hiding who she really is, makes you crave her.

You want to know what’s going on behind the curtains so badly. “Who is she really?”

So when you create an alter ego by embodying someone else to project the 3 traits of charisma, you also become devilishly seductive because of your mystery. Everyone wants to know who you really are.

Everyone will want to know what’s behind your incredible power, presence, and warmth.

PART 4: The mistake that most people make is that they think that they can sit at home, learn all the theory, and then walk into the world without any chance of getting rejected.

People think that all you need to do is think about the concepts enough and you will become perfect… never to get rejected by anyone.

Sorry my friend, it doesn’t work this way, you need to work really hard in the real world even when your embodying the character.

You will fail.

You will fail miserably…

It will take time till you get it right, the alter ego isn’t made to erase any pain from transforming your personality. You will go through suffering while changing, but it’s well worth the pain.

Just imagine if you could unlock parts of yourself you didn’t know existed?

How would that look?

How would that feel?

Building a charming alter ego to seduce women to bed.

When I first start coaching my clients I ask them to imagine attracting hot girls and seducing women, and most of them can’t!

Their brain won’t let them!

They can’t see a women being attracted to them or even having sex with them because of their negative beliefs!

Then I create an alter ego with them, we decide on a character that they feel are the most attractive and seductive to women.

I walk him through the steps of him embodying that charismatic character and then I ask him to imagine seducing a woman…

And just like that he can approach any hot girl he wants.

Why change yourself at all? Just embody the character that has all of the seductive traits already.

4 Quick Steps To Build an Alter Ego.

The first step is to get clear on what traits you want your character will embody, and I’ve already said earlier that it includes mainly power, presence, warmth, and mystery.

Ask yourself how is that going to look like in real life and what you don’t want to look like in real life.

(Although if you want to take a deep dive into seduction and what really makes anyone charming, you must read The Art of Seduction. He shows another 8 archetypes that have incredible psychological power too. And don’t just read it once, read it at least 5 times, and think it through. I also recommend you buy the audiobook version. From there you can also get The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene, although if you are a beginner leave these books behind because it will get you stuck in your head while you are interacting with women)

The second step is to create a character or identity, some guys pick people that lived in the past or present day people that are super seductive and have those character traits that you want.

You can also combine different people to create a single person.

Make sure to give him a distinct name.

Keep in mind, if you want to get a clear understanding of how to construct an alter ego you need to get the official The Alter Ego Effect book, I am just giving you the keys.

Step 3 create an anchor or trigger.

You need something to tell your mind that you are transforming into you alter ego.

I’m sure you know the study that Pavlov conducted with his dogs in the 1890’s. For those who don’t know, he conditioned his dog to salivate when he rang a bell.


He used to feed them right after he rang the bell, this made the dog’s brain the create an association/ connection from the sound of the bell to eating.

This made ringing the bell a trigger for eating, and therefore salivating as well.

We can use the power of associations for our own benefit, your brain will automatically turn on your alter ego when you use your trigger.

Why not create a physical association to your alter ego?

Some of my coaching clients wear:

  1. A cap
  2. Necklace/ bracelet/ anklet
  3. Crack their knuckles
  4. Rub their right hand on their left arm in a special way.

You use any trigger you want as long as you follow these rules:

  1. Your trigger is very distinct and special. It cannot happen by accident.
  2. You start embodying your alter ego straight away and do something the way your alter ego would, this way you associate your ‘trigger’ to your alter ego.

But to really embody your alter ego you need to use your imagination.

2 steps to harnessing the power of your alter ego with imagination.

  1. Imagine your character acting out perfectly in all the situations that you can’t.
  2. Now use your physical trigger and immediately see yourself embody your alter ego and do what you imagined in step one.

Now you have successfully created an alter ego that is functional…

(Even though I might make it seem that building an alter ego is easy, it is NOT. If you are serious about this go buy the official book: The Alter Ego Affect.)

But wait there is one more thing you have to do, and I mentioned it before.

Step 4: Take action.

Doing all of this imagination is great, but if you don’t take it to the real world all your valuable will go to waste.

I need to address this issue because I know it will affect some of you and it definitely affected me.

Don’t sit at home thinking that you need to perfect your alter ego and only then will you start approaching women.

This will only slow your growth.

Think of your alter ego as a tool to get you to take action, not as an end in of itself.

You only want to create your alter ego so that you feel comfortable enough to start approaching women.


You will learn more from one approach than working 10 years on your alter ego.

The reason why I made this mistake was because of my incredible fear of rejection, eventually I got over it with a great course and What’sApp coaching by an incredible seducer.

Don’t do what I did.

Now that you are taking action I need to further discuss the greatest key to seduction: mystery.

Look at these pictures, what do see?


It’s as if she doesn’t need us and she covering up what’s happening underneath.

It’s a kind of self-sufficiency, and it makes everyone’s blood boil… and nobody knows why and that just makes the desire greater.

You crave her and you don’t even know, the mysterious self-sufficiency kills you.

You think that every human should need other humans because humans need human contact, but she seems above it all.

Your brain can’t put the 2 together, she’s a human so she should want you for your life, yet she looks as if she doesn’t need anyone’s love.

It’s maddening.

Take a closer look.

Don’t you see that she looks so “above it all and completely self sufficient”?

This creates an irresistible craving in us and that’s why the best models look that way, so fucking cute

Almost as if they know you will fall in love with them.

Something about their face.

But who gives a shit about hot models, I care about you! How can you recreate this mystery affect to seduce those women?

Use the mirror technique

Go buy yourself NOW a big mirror off amazon that covers all of your body and start posing in different ways and create the desired effect of mystery.

The key isn’t the whole body pose, i.e. where your hands are or how you stand, the majority of the effect will come from the facial expression.

Your posed facial expression will instill that craving of people into you, but do not forget to work on you whole body pose.

Think of this way: 80% face, 20% body.

Express mystery, but mystery can come in many forms.

  1. Self-sufficiency
  2. I know you’re in love with me already
  3. Cuteness
  4. Innocence
  5. I need you to save me

You can try to recreate the faces that models make, but be sure to practice and then take it onto the real world.

Everyone will be wondering what’s really going on in your mind, of course you know this is all part of your alter ego.

It doesn’t matter if you use ‘cuteness’ or ‘self-sufficiency,’ as long as you can make people have that feeling that they don’t really know who you are.

Remember what I briefly wrote about at the beginning of the article?

The 3 main traits of charisma.

  1. Power
  2. Presence
  3. Warmth

Make sure that you are exuding all of those energies while creating your poses.

You need to get above and beyond these models, that can only create this affect for a moment, just enough to take a picture. But you need this affect to last as much time as possible, keeping the mystery alive.

So make it your goal to be able to keep these poses for as long as possible, but start out by creating photo poses that are seductive and then move on to how you would look during a conversation.

You need to be looking at your body from the outside, as if you are not connected to your body.

(The truth is that this is really just part of creating an alter ego, this identity will be seductive and you need to tune his body perfectly.)

Once you put in massive work and you master how your face looks you can work on your voice, the tonality, the volume, the deepness. Every aspect, until you have created a seductive voice.

One last point: You Are Likable Now

I remember talking to a couple of my friends about what it would take to be comfortable while talking to strangers. They all said that they would need to have incredible comedian skills or be an amazing conversational skills for them to feel comfortable approaching new people.

Don’t be this way, you need to believe that you can liked and even loved without having to be the funniest guy in the world.

I don’t mean to say that people will like you even if you do nothing to make your personality likable.

But now that you’ve just put in all this work in, let yourself breathe, you are likable now.

Maybe your parents gave you a really hard time and they couldn’t show you love no matter what you did, so now you think you need to be super man to be likable, but now it’s time to break out of that. Beautiful women and seduction is waiting on the other side.

Walk around like you expect people to love, why not?

So go ahead and approach a girl, you’ve embodied another super seductive character that has no fear of rejection, you know what charismatic facial expression you’ll show that will guarantee her secretly loving you instantly. You are putting out incredible amounts of mystery energy with the 3 pillars of charisma.

The first couple tries won’t be so smooth, and your first couple dates will be awkward, but don’t worry the next ones will bring better rewards that you could ever imagine.

Think about all the other things you have improved in your life. I remember when I first started jogging about a year ago I started with 5 km and I had to stop over 10 times with tons of cramps (kinda like my first dates), yet I continued and now I can jog 15 km without stopping and no cramps!

Never forget you will transform and change, the question is for better or worse?


P.s. I only learned this after I was pretty good with women, I actually took a different path. I took a seduction course with What’sApp coaching from Sabastian Harris, you can read my review HERE.

And also don’t forget to check out my 2 favorite books to learn seduction:

  1. The Alter Ego Affect by Todd Herman
  2. The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

See ya’

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