17 Steps to Seduce Girls [& Countless Examples]

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You are about to learn the steps to seduce any girl that is mildly attracted to you and make her fall in love with you like she’s never felt before.

You will learn how to manipulate and control women so that they need you and won’t even entertain the idea of leaving you.

You will learn how to be so seductive that you’ll get whatever you want: one night stands, multiple girlfriends or a long lasting relationship.

Before we start, here’s the definition of seduction:

verb (used with object), se·duced, se·duc·ing.

  • to lead astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt.
  • to persuade or induce to have sexual intercourse.
  • to lead or draw away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance:

He was seduced by the prospect of gain.

  • to win over; attract; entice:

a supermarket seducing customers with special sales.

Knowing the definition is important because you must always remember that you are controlling her emotions which is literally playing with fire.

This information can be incredibly dangerous for you and the woman, so apply this at your own risk! 

(We’ll start with the more basic seduction tips and gradually move on to more dark and dirty techniques such as The Sexual-Transference Method and The Ego-Training Method, so make sure you don’t miss any part!)

example of a girl to seduce

1. Be an apathetic seducer

To be empathetic is to be compassionate and caring.

To be apathetic is to be detached, unfeeling and indifferent to other people’s emotions.

To be a successful seducer, you need to be apathetic.


The very definition of “manipulating girls” means that you’re getting what you want, regardless of her wants or needs.

This is incredibly selfish. 

But to be a successful Casanova you must be proud of your egotistical and self centered view of the world because you will crush many hearts by applying these techniques.

From now on you must be unapologetically cocky, self-obsessed and completely self-serving in every area of your life. [1, 2, 3]

2. Develop deep calmness

You must keep in mind that seduction is not a brute force attack. 

Seduction is making women want what you want so the best way to do that is through deep calmness. 

Don’t act like an excited virgin when you’re on a coffee date! Never show any desperation or neediness.

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Besides, the calmer you appear, the faster you’ll be able to move which will make it harder for her to see the red flags.

Here are some daily affirmations that will help you maintain calmness in any seduction:

  1. I am becoming more calm and manipulative by the day because of my continuous practice
  2. I am making girls want what I want because girls can feel my deep relaxation
  3. Even the cutest girls fall for my seductions because of my calm, masculine energy
  4. Women of all ages respond to me because they see I can maintain a relaxed frame even in chaotic situations
  5. Because I understand that being calm is attractive to girls, I keep a relaxed energy at all times

[irp posts=”249″ name=”7 ways you can use affirmations to attract pretty women [with examples]

3. Initiate physical attraction 

Before any seduction can occur, she must be attracted to you at some level. So let’s go through the basics of attracting a girl:

Be masculine

Girls are attracted to masculine men. Period.

What’s the lesson? Be bold, cocky and have a good sense of humor.

Don’t get all emotional or vulnerable with your women. It’s not attractive. It’s repulsive and you’ll end up in the friend-zone.

Do masculine things like woodworking, fixing stuff and crazy outdoor adventures. This is how you get girls to respect you.

19 Steps to Get a Girl Without Getting Rejected

Look good

Clothing does help in attraction and girls definitely like guys with bright, white teeth, but I want you to focus on looking good naked… 

Get to the gym on a daily basis and get six pack abs, strong arms and powerful legs. 

Your body is one of the only keys to make girls horny fast and you don’t want to waste it!

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Showing her your overpowering strength

Besides for showing her your muscles, you need to let her feel them so that she knows how much stronger you truly are:

  1. Pin her down
  2. Let her feel your muscles 
  3. Pick her up
  4. Give her a powerful bear hug

Any girl you ask will tell you the same thing: overpowering strength makes them wet.

being muscular is the best way to seduce girls

Touching her

Caressing a girl may be the best technique to seduce a girl you don’t know because you don’t need to say anything. 

But how do you seductively touch a girl?

It’s very nuanced and it takes a lot of experience to master so I can’t talk about it here.

But I strongly recommend you watch The Stealth Seduction Documentary because that’s where you’ll learn how to seduce a woman’s body using the power of touch so that she literally can’t put up any resistance.

…And yes, watching The Stealth Seduction Documentary is morally wrong, but it will jumpstart your success with girls.

4. Pass her sh*t tests

You might be wondering, what are sh*t tests?

Here’s how the respected dating coach, Joshua Pellicer explains sh*t tests:

… Women have developed countless tests that determine whether a man possesses real confidence or is faking it to hide weakness and insecurity.

A woman filters for a reason. She has to learn how to see beyond a man’s talent for appearing more confident than he really is, or she will always attract men that she will be disappointed with. 

These tests appear during the phase of attraction because women use them to decide if they should be attracted to you.

There are two types of tests that you must learn to recognize: compliance tests and congruence tests.

Compliance tests typically come in the form of asking you to do something. 

A woman uses these to see if you are going to let her get away with anything she wants.

If you’re really a high-value man, then your tolerance for compliance will be very low and you won’t do everything she tells you to do.

If she says “Buy me a drink,” you won’t ask “What would you like?” And if she says “Just stay right here and wait for me,” you won’t stand rooted to the spot, afraid to move because it might upset her.

The second kind of test is called a congruence test. 

Women use these tests to see if you are actually as confident as you seem to be, usually by insulting you in some way. 

If a woman verbally insults you (by teasing you, for example) or does so through an action like turning her back, you will pass the test if you don’t react to it. 

Not responding shows a woman that you’re used to women trying to test you to see if you’re confident.

Joshua Pellicer then goes on to explain his proven formula on how to get unstoppable confidence in his best selling training The Tao of Badass: Everything You Have To Know To Be A Complete Badass With Women.

But before you get his exclusive training, here are some examples of how you could pass her sh*t tests:

  1. If she tells you that you’re a jerk. Just agree and say “yep.”
  2. If she tells you that you’re too sweet. Tell her: “No, I’m f*cking cute.”
  3. If she tells you that you have nothing in common, just chuckle, roll your eyes and get her phone number.
  4. If she asks you to take a picture of her, ask her if you look like a photographer.
  5. If she asks you to hold her purse, just respond with “say please.”
  6. If she tells you that you give the same compliment to all girls. Ask her if she needs a special complement to feel good about herself.
  7. If she tells you that you’re a nice guy, tell her “I’m a jerk, but keep thinking that because it’ll be easier to control you.”
  8. If she makes fun of the way you look, just tell her “yeah, but that’s because you haven’t seen my pink underwear.”

Show her that you’re the prize.

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5. Create trust by mirroring her

A commonly forgotten factor of seduction and mind control is developing trust with your victim. Without trust, how will she sleep with you?

That’s why you must learn the mirroring technique.

By mirroring a girl’s speech pattern, emotional state and body language, you are making her trust you because she feels like you have so much in common.

  1. She crosses her legs, you cross your legs.
  2. She talks slowly, you talk slowly.
  3. She likes to use certain words or phrases, you use those words and phrases.
  4. She’s super excited, you act super excited.
  5. She talks in an intense tone, you talk in an intense tone.

As a general rule, you want to copy her as much as you can so that she feels like you’ve known her forever. 

Mold yourself to the girl. [4, 5]


6. Talk in a seductive way

Conversation is another key to seduction and here’s how you use it:

  1. Talk in a deeper tone
  2. Talk in a lower, quieter voice
  3. Talk slower, as if you have all the time in the world
  4. Pause after each sentence
  5. Let yourself laugh in a relaxed manner. 
  6. Talk about your victim and encourage her to talk about herself

Bonus tip: while talking to her, try to find a common enemy or a belief you both share so that she feels like you’re on the same team and will be loyal to you.

How can you improve your conversation with girls?

Record yourself and find what’s holding you back. 

Do you have a nasal voice? 

Do you talk too quickly? 

Do you squish words together?

Don’t get discouraged, find your flaws and fix them one by one!

7. Maintain seductive eye contact 

Don’t intensely, stare into her eyes for a minute straight like a robot.

Do look into her eyes in a way that conveys your desire for her.

I know maintaining eye contact is a classic psychological trick that everyone talks about, but it works so I had to mention it.

8. Use pheromones to manipulate a girls’ sexual response

You wanna learn how to seduce, manipulate and dominate girls by medicine or drugs? Use pheromones!

But what are pheromones?

A pheromone is a chemical that an animal produces which changes the behavior of another animal of the same species. 

Some describe pheromones as behavior-altering agents (MedicalNewsToday). 

There are many different types of pheromones such as Epideictic, Releaser and Signal, but a Sex pheromone initiates sexual arousal in an other animal.

However, pheromones aren’t limited to animals, Sex pheromones can initiate a sexual arousal in humans too:

While humans are highly dependent upon visual cues, when in close proximity smells also play a role in sociosexual behaviors (Wikipedia).

So what do you have to lose? Go get yourself some spray-on-pheromones and let her body do the work for you! [6]


9. Use The Sexual-Transference Method

First off, what does “transference” mean?

Transference occurs when a person redirects some of their feelings or desires for another person to an entirely different person. 

One example of transference is when you observe characteristics of your father in a new boss. You attribute fatherly feelings to this new boss. 

They can be good or bad feelings (Healthline).

It usually concerns feelings from a primary relationship during childhood. 

At times, this transference can be considered inappropriate (Wikipedia).

But what does this mean for you? 

If you imitate the archetypal father figure with a girl, she may transfer the feelings she has for her father to you. 

Who cares? 

At a subconscious level there’s always an erotic component to the relatioship with parents so when she transfers her feelings of her father to you, she’ll also transfer the fantasy of being sexual with him, to you!

Here’s how you can play the father figure and initiate a successful transference:

  1. Cook breakfast for her (take care of her every need)
  2. Ask her to call you daddy
  3. Give her chores to do and while encouraging her and make her feel great when she’s done
  4. Brush her hair (make her feel protected)
  5. Rarely give out punishments
  6. Take her out to get her nails done (remove all of her responsibilities) 
  7. Keeping her safe before crossing a road by holding her hand

Here’s how Robert Greene explains in his book, The Art of Seduction:

People who have experienced a certain kind of pleasure in the past will try to repeat or relive it.

The deepest-rooted and most pleasurable memories are usually those from earliest childhood, and are often unconsciously associated with a parental figure. 

Bring your targets back to that point by placing yourself in the oedipal triangle and positioning them as the needy child. 

Unaware of the cause of their emotional response, they will fall in love with you. 

Robert Greene then goes onto explaining that transference works both ways… 

Alternatively, you too can regress, letting them play the role of the protecting, nursing parent. In either case you are offering the ultimate fantasy: the chance to have an intimate relationship with mommy or daddy, son or daughter.

You must remember that any successful seduction focuses on creating a deep emotional response no matter how illogical it may be.

example of a manipulated and seduced woman

10. Make your girl feel guilty and be the victim

I know you want to control girls even if that means having a toxic relationship, so here’s how you make a girl feel guilty while being her victim in order that she does everything you want:

Start by encouraging her to talk about her life and listen carefully when she talks about her relationships because you need to know every one of her insecurities and regrets.

Now you’re ready to leverage all of the new information and start making her feel guilty:

  1. Always remind her that she could be better for you
  2. Never let her forget how she abandoned you that “one” time
  3. Talk about things she’s totally failing at
  4. Ask her why she always needs to use you
  5. Talk about how she mistreats her parents

As she’s feeling more guilty, you need to start playing the victim:

  1. Go out of your way to show how caring you are by doing things for her that no one else would do and ask her why she’s even deserving of you
  2. Ask her why you’re always the victim of her abuse 
  3. Tell her that if she’d just do what you wanted, you’d think of her as a normal girl (make yourself the only source of her hope)
  4. Cry and get uncontrollably emotional whenever she doesn’t do what you want (emotional blackmailing)
  5. Ask her why she always gets angry at you and won’t let you live 
  6. When she confronts you, completely deny any wrongdoing on your part (gaslight her)

Target girls with traumatic childhoods because they are always easier to control due to their many insecurities. 

This method works, but is it moral? Absolutely not, this is manipulation at its core.


11. Seduce women by utilizing The Feminine-Mirroring Technique

Every girl craves a man with some feminine traits because a purely masculine man will be too alienating for her.

Here are some feminine traits you can adopt while maintaining your attractive masculinity:

  1. Dance (especially salsa)
  2. Put on cologne 
  3. Pay close attention to the clothing you wear
  4. Keep your teeth bright white and smile
  5. Show empathy
  6. Show emotion and vulnerability (at times!)
  7. Act in graceful and polite manner

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Now let’s take The Feminine-Mirroring Technique to an advanced level:

Lookout for the signs to see if this girl subconsciously craves sexual dominance over men:

  1. She likes giving orders
  2. She likes taking responsibilities 
  3. She doesn’t like listening to your little comments
  4. She can be sharp and witty at the same time
  5. She loves to do new and adventurous things

If you consistently see these signs, you can be quite sure she has a deeper fantasy to be sexually dominant in bed. 

So here’s what you can do: let her be your mistress and become her submissive, feminine “good boy” and watch how she gets emotionally dependent on you (i.e. seduced).

Here are some examples of what you could do:

  1. Give oral to her strap on
  2. Write a poem for her if you don’t give her an orgasm
  3. You must ask permission to cum
  4. You can only orgasm 4 times per week
  5. You must wear the chastity belt for 2 hours a day
  6. You must put yourself in a position where you cum on yourself and you are not allow to clean in up
  7. If you orgasm before your mistress does, she will edge you for half an hour
  8. In public or private, you must be within 2 meters of your mistress and in private, you must wear a leash to your collar or balls)
  9. You must tell your mistress whenever your horny, exactly what you want and how you want it
  10. You must keep your legs spread so that your mistress can jerk you off at her wish

But as mentioned, only do this if she craves dominating a man AND you’re OK with being submissive to a woman. Otherwise, don’t even attempt this method!


12. Use The Ego-Training Method 

This must be my favorite method because of its simplicity and how it’ll seduce that girl who’s been a nice friend ever since you’ve met.

So, as always, start by encouraging her to talk about her life and listen carefully because you need to know every one of her insecurities to train her ego well.

Whenever she pleases you, give her a compliment about something she’s insecure about (e.g. her looks, personality, sense of style, etc.) so that she receives a big ego boost.

If she’s been wealthy her whole life, complimenting her wealth won’t help because she knows how capable she is of succeeding financially.

Whenever she displeases you, choose one of her insecurities and really criticize her about it. 

As bad as it sounds, you want to train her like a dog. 

You want her ego to be dependent on you for validation so that she literally needs you to feel good about herself.

13. Tease her ability to seduce you

This is one of the seductive techniques you should use when you first meet a girl because it’s the safest way to escalate sexually.

First of all, make sure that she understands you’re only teasing her. Smile, say your line in a non-serious tone.

Or you can also sound super serious, but say the most ridiculous thing. (If you mess up, just give her a nice compliment.)

Don’t worry about saying the sharpest, wittiest thing ever. 

If it was funny as a 10 year old, it’s a perfect line to tease her. (Trying to be an adult will ruin your ability to flirt with girls.)

Tease her with cute nicknames (for examples, read What do girls like to be called: 71 things to call a girl). 

If she’s really into things like Harry Potter, math, computer programming, call her a dork, geek or nerd – you choose!

Tease her accent or the way she pronounces words (egg, picture, scenario, rural, etc.)

Tease her job. If she’s a lawyer, tell her that you’ve just robbed a bank and you need help!

You can always physically tease her by tickling, tackling or wrapping your arms around her. Pick her up and pretend you’re gonna throw her out the window, in the garbage or on the couch!

Argue about stupid stuff (icecream, TV shows, how to use toilet paper, etc.)

And finally, tease her ability to attract and seduce you, for example:

  1. You couldn’t make me cum with your pretty mouth no matter how hard you tried
  2. You’re trying to get me drunk, aren’t you?! I’m not that easy to get… you gotta buy me dinner first
  3. [Wink, wink] you know I’m not ready to be with you, I am strictly waiting for marriage

Here are some things you must avoid:

  1. Never be the guy who’s constantly teasing his girlfriend, it gets exhausting
  2. Don’t tease her political or religious beliefs
  3. Don’t tease anything that has to do with her anxiety (stutter, nervous twitch, nervously playing with her fingers  [7]

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14. Make her feel jealous

Jealousy is crucial to seducing a girl that’s already rejected you. 

If she feels that other women are pursuing you, she’ll do anything to have you exclusively because now she knows you’re a high value man.

Here’s how you make her feel jealous:

  1. Let her see you will a group of girls that seem to like you
  2. Talk about other girls in a nonchalant manner with her (tell her about times you went out with other girls)
  3. Point out other girls in your venue and what you like about their appearances 
  4. Flirt with other girls in front of her. Be SUPER cocky!
  5. Compliment her own female friends about things she doesn’t have (blonde, dancing, etc.)

Warning: do this too much and she’ll run away from you. Always balance the push-pull energy. 

example of seductively teasing a girl to manipulate her

15. Be mysterious

In your effort to be mysterious, don’t be Mr. Quiet Guy all the time, otherwise women won’t even notice you! Balance your introvert and extrovert energies.

Show her that you’re having an interesting life while barely disclosing enough. Never volunteer information, just the bare facts. 

Listen to her entire life’s story (name, age, school, parents, childhood, her breakups) before revealing anything about yourself.

While sharing your story, hide as many names as you can, just say “a friend” or “some guy.”

You can even keep your personality a mystery: go from being shy to uncontrollably bold.

Keep her wondering who you truly are.

Act like a coquette so that she doesn’t even know if you like her – the number one way to bore a girl to death is to tell her how much you’re in love with her.

(By the way, girls are natural coquettes: they’ll give you a blowjob, kiss you, smile, but tomorrow they’ll talk to you like you never existed.)

Never forget: the core of seduction is mystery. Once a girl has figured it all out, it’s over.

16. Seduce her physically 

This is Initiating Physical Attraction at a whole new level and it’s crucial to maintain any seduction.

Here’s how to do it:

  1. Kiss her well (read more: How to Kiss a Girl In 17 Easy to Follow Steps)
  2. Have animalistic, wild sex
  3. Spank her (read more: 17 Steps to Make a Girl Horny, Freaky and Aroused)
  4. Tell how much of “good girl” she is
  5. Hold her neck tightly to momentarily choke her
  6. Make her suck your fingers

Make her feel as submissive and girly as possible with your overbearing dominant energy.

[irp posts=”368″ name=”How To Be Seductive To Women And Make Them Horny”]

17. Seduce her over text [with examples]

By now you must know that seduction is best done in person, however by instilling the previous principles in your texts, you can manipulate girls successfully.

Here are some examples:

  1. You are one dangerous girl
  2. We could never be friends…
  3. This is not a good idea, I’d have makeup sex too many times
  4. I can tell you’re trying too hard… I guess you’ve never noticed your own bust
  5. The worst thing you could ever do is date me!
  6. So you do fall in love instantly
  7. [Arguing about a TV show] OK, let’s’ not be too sexual
  8. Do you always pursue guys like this?
  9. What will it take to really please you… Oh’ wait, I already know [wink]
  10. [Randomly] fine, but who’s gonna take care of the kids
  11. Yes it is hot, but do I have to remind you NOT to take off your clothing?
  12. I can’t lose my virginity over text!
  13. It’s getting harder and harder… to text you

These work especially well with a girl you already know, but don’t hesitate to use these on tinder or any other dating app.


We’ve covered all the advanced seduction techniques in addition to all the core principles, you know everything.

Now it’s your turn. You need to take action. Massive action. 

Go approach girls, apply these techniques and continuously improve yourself. We both know you will fail, but that’s the only way to truly succeed.

Good luck!

Colt Smith

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    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

    17 Steps to Seduce Girls [& Countless Examples]

    How to Touch a Girl: 47 Smooth Techniques [Pictures Included]

    Where Can I Meet a Girl? Top 25 Venues to Meet Women Easily

    16 Useful Steps to Start a Conversation With a Girl [30+ examples]