20 Moves: Meeting & Approaching Guys at the Gym! [& Getting Guys to Approach You]

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Doing pickup in the gym doesn’t get much easier than this: 

While he’s doing an overhead military press and you notice his arms are shaking, jump on his back from behind and scream “I’ve had a crush on you for the last 4 months! What’s your name?”

OK, serious now. 

IMPORTANT: the following article is an excerpt from my 9,000 word guide on approaching guys in almost any situation (although I've included more gym tips and techniques here) so read that to get a full understanding of the principles and techniques: 50 Techniques: Approaching Guys & Getting Approached By Guys You Like

1. Do guys like being approached in the gym?

Yes, as mentioned in my Main Guide About Approaching Men, as long as you play it right and do it at the right time, guys love it. 

2. Pick the right gym

First, you want to plant yourself in the biggest, best gym:

  1. 1
    Should have lots of mixed fitness classes
  2. 2
    Swimming pool
  3. 3
  4. 4
    A small cafe-like area
  5. 5
    Steam/ sauna room

This places you with richer men (because these big gyms tend to cost more), gives you more places to be noticed and more potential opportunities to approach your man while he’s not working out (although we'll soon discuss, I don’t know a single man who would be annoyed by a girl approaching him during his workout - as long as he’s not in the middle of a set). [1]

3. Go To The Weights Section

Instead of hanging around the treadmills and such, head over to the heavy weights section where all the hot, muscular men are.

If you only go to the gym for the yoga classes, you can still use the gym to meet a great guy by simply making more female friends. Remember, building a strong social circle is crucial for meeting men.

make girlfriends at the gym who will help you approach guys

4. Seem Approachable

Don’t be afraid to wear leggings to catch the attention of guys, but don’t get so dolled up that you seem too intimidating.

Dress like this to get guys to approach you

This is perfect. Very cute, but not so stunning that guys are too intimidated to approach you.

5. When to approach a guy at the gym?

Unless you're willing to go full direct, waiting for a sign that he likes you (i.e. you notice he looks at you often) before you approach him is a good idea. 

Beyond that, consider the following:

  • If he works out super intensely, approach him while he’s finished and packing his stuff away (and you notice that he’s not in a rush to leave).
do not approach a man while he's in middle of working out

Don't approach him while he's intensely working out or seems rushed 

  • If he’s the type of guy who takes multiple breaks, approach him when he’s taking a break, scrolling through Instagram or filling up his water bottle.

6. How to approach a guy with headphones?

Don’t be afraid to approach him just because he has headphones in.

When you approach him, smile and motion to him to take his headphones out, once he does it, continue as usual. It may help you to first read how guys pull it off: 29 Concrete Steps to Approaching & Talking to Girls at the Gym [With Examples]

how to approach a guy with headphones on

Actually, a good time to approach a guy is when he's posing in the mirror like this. Very easy to compliment him!

7. Indirectly Approach Him

Why not go full direct? 

Because this is your gym that you go to everyday, you don’t want to shit where you eat. That is, if the direct approach doesn't go well, you don't want to feel awkward in your favorite gym every time you see him. 

But when you go indirect or at least semi-direct, even if the approach goes south for whatever reason, because you we're just being friendly, you can easily exit the conversation without having shown that you were romantically interested and it won't be awkward the next time you see him.

The most simple example of an indirect or semi-direct approach is by simply introducing yourself as a friend, but you can also use any of the following techniques laid out in this guide.

8. Be His Spotter

If you notice he’s not benching a lot of weight, offer to spot him. If he’s benching a lot, compliment him on his muscles then ask him to spot you. Don’t forget - be Indirectly-Direct!


It's worth reading reading my Main Article On Getting Guys To Approach You to understand what being Indirectly-Direct means. 

9. Talk about the gym music

If you notice he’s rocking out to a song, ask him what he’s listening to and what kind of music he likes.

10. Ask him where he’s been

If he hasn’t come to the gym in a while, use it as an excuse to catch up with him “Haven’t seen you in a while… where you been? You went on a 3 day hike! Show me some pictures! Blah, blah, blah…”

11. Talk about gym stuff

Ask him anything gym/ workout related: diet, workout routine, how much sleep he gets, does he take creatine or protein shakes, what type of protein shake he likes, etc. 

12. Talk about the event going on

If your gym also teaches combat sports or has an event going on, ask him about the rules and how it all works

use a gym event to approach a guy

13. Hold The Door For Him

If you know he arrives every day at a specific time, get there before him and hold the door for him.

14. Ask him basic gym questions 

Ask him where ___ machine is while flirting with your eyes

Ask him if he thinks you have good form, then mention something self-depreciating to get him to compliment you. As always, he’s gotta see it in your eyes and body language that you aren’t just asking him how to have the correct form. Otherwise, he’ll simply ask you to ask the staff. (Same goes for guys approaching girls in the gym.)

15. Get in his way

Purposefully wait to use the equipment he’s currently using, and ask him how much longer till he’s done. After a few times of doing this, you could easily joke and say, “hah sorry, I feel like we keep wanting to use the same machines, and I keep kicking you off!” 

16. Ask him how to look as good as him

Say that you want to work on bodypart X and since it looks good on him ask him what he'd recommend doing - if you really want to spice it up, you can mention his butt. Or his arms, but then touch his arms (not butt!) and playfully compare his arms to yours. 

17. Ask about his gym motivation 

Asking him what drives him to come every morning so early, tell him that you need someone to wake you up in the morning too!

18. Workout next to him

Work out or stretch right next to him - focus on those legs or bend down and give him a good look.

workout next to a guy to get him to approach you

"Sorry, I just had to bend over to do these dumbbell rows properly... right in front of you..." 

19. Finishing off the approach

After you initial approach, talk a bit, flirt, but then either trade numbers or ask him about getting a quick bite to eat or a smoothie/protein shake after, tell him you like watching him work out and you could use some "pointers" on some cardio exercises or some stupid exercise. 

20. What to do if you workout from home

If you always workout at home, try searching for local running groups or something similar, you may have even better results there! 

Another place to meet hot young men is at your local calisthenics park. Simply, go with your girlfriends and try to strike up a conversation.

meeting gym guys at a calisthenics park

If you don't have access to a gym, why not try to meet up with a muscular guy at a calisthenics park?


Like this article? Well, first I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, but also, why not read my core guide on approaching - for women: 50 Techniques: Approaching Guys & Getting Approached By Guys You Like?



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    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

    How To Flirt With a Guy In Any Situation: 43 Examples

    17 Moves: Meeting & Approaching Guys at the Bar and Getting Guys to Approach You

    Rich, Single & Hot! 73 Best Places To Meet Men [Tips Included]

    20 Moves: Meeting & Approaching Guys at the Gym! [& Getting Guys to Approach You]