For most women, the best place to meet smart, intellectual men is Reddit. OK, maybe Twitter, but I always recommend Reddit.
And that’s not all.
If you like bad boys, just wait outside prison cells, you’re guaranteed to find your one soulmate.
For any other girls, craigslist is where it’s at.
1. What To Expect From This Definitive Guide
“You will meet the man of your dreams within 30 seconds of reading this article. Just pay a small fee of $997.”
OK, enough jokes.
This guide is split up into 5 parts:
- Learning the core principles of meeting men
- Where to meet men while going about your regular daily schedule
- Where to meet men while doing your hobbies
- Places to purposefully visit to meet men you want
- How to meet specific kinds of men (rich, military) and some tips on meeting men in college
While I will be mentioning some popular American cities, I won’t be going in depth for any city in this guide, but if you have any city related tips, share them with everyone in the comments.
Also, this guide is just about venues to meet men - that’s all.
I’m not teaching ya’ll how to dress and seem attractive or how to approach guys, those topics are dealt with in their respective guides.
2. What Kind Of Girl Are You
Just getting clear on who you are will answer most of your questions. Take this example from my article on best places to meet women - just switching ‘men’ for ‘women’ and vise versa:
Extroverted women will enjoy meeting men in chaotic venues full of people and distractions, for example, malls, clubs, train stations, etc.
Introverted women will enjoy meeting men in calm venues with little distractions, for example, parks, libraries, bookstores, etc.
This applies to many of the locations we’ll be discussing:
- If you’re religious, use your local church
- If you love running, go to marathons and other running/ health related events
- If you lift heavy, meet guys at your gym
- If you’re a bookworm, go to the library
- If you’re super extroverted and an adrenaline junky, you’ll have no problem cold approaching a hot guy on the street (and won’t need any ‘location’ to meet men!)
Here’s a principle you’ll soon learn:
Unless you’re super shy, there’s no reason to have to do things you’re not comfortable doing in order to meet men. Just by living your life and enjoying your hobbies (geeky or not), you’ll naturally meet like minded men.
3. Decide On The Type Of Man You Want To Meet
Now's the time you need to set a goal to what kind of man you want to capture meet.
But before you do that, it’s important to realize that realistically, it’s impossible to get the perfect man.
You know, 6-6-6.
- 6 figure income
- 6 inches
- 6 pack abs
(Although that doesn’t even include your expectations about his personality, how good he’s in bed, etc.)
If you’re still unconvinced, here’s some stats from the Female Delusion Calculator: Let’s imagine you are looking for a man who…
- Not married
- Any race
- At least 6 feet tall
- Not obese
- Earning at least $100,000 per year
The probability of meeting a guy like that in the U.S. male population ages 20 to 35 meeting your standards is 0.32% (read the statistical data).
So what’s the solution? Should we take the blackpill and give up?
No.
We need to make realistic compromises by focusing on what we truly want and letting go of what we don’t need and can’t get.
Here’s an example:
You want a good man. A man of God.
You want a man who will love you and take care of you.
And the compromise is that you’ll take a guy who’s under six feet, isn’t super good looking/ hot or has a ton of money (although he may have the potential to make big money).
See THAT is realistic.
Here’s another example: you want the super hot millionaire, but you realize that he’ll have his affairs on the side (because he’s that high value of a man) and he’ll bring his kids into the relationship.
The lesson here is simple:
Don’t pretend to have such high standards and be so independent that you’d be better off being alone than committing to a guy who only meets 90% of your qualifications. (And once you do meet your man, don't let him slip out of your hands because of FOBO - Fear Of Better Options!)
Now that you’ve written down a realistic goal of what kind of man you want to meet, I want you to ask yourself the following two questions:
- What does [your type of man] do in [your city] for fun?
- How would you have to represent yourself in order to attract that man and get him to commit to you? In other words, instead of asking 'How can I get one', you could ask yourself 'What does a high value man want?'
Boom! Now you know where to meet said man and what to do once you meet him.
4. Allow Yourself To Meet Men Everywhere
Too many girls tell me that meeting guys outside of dating apps and bars is wrong and “they just won’t do it.”
But here’s the thing:
You’re single. And you don’t want to be single. You are doing something wrong. You know I’m right, otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this guide!
So maybe it’s time to humble yourself and change some beliefs…
Specifically, begin to allow yourself to meet men everywhere and stop locking yourself into only using dating apps and clubs/ bars.
Think about it: high value men (HVM) live normal lives too. They buy groceries, get coffee, go to church, the liquor store, the gym, the post office, the hospital, etc. so why not meet one there too?
Am I saying you need to go to the gym just to get a guy to ask you out?
No! Of course not.
But you can go with a dual purpose: A) get a toned body and B) get a guy to approach me at the gym. In other words, “I'm going because I want to go. Meeting someone good there would be nice though.”
Remember: finding love is mostly a numbers game and many times, we find love when we’re not looking for “the one” so be kind and give yourself permission to find love anywhere. [1, 2]
5. Move To Meet More Men
Here’s a factor you may have not considered, but it’s holding you back even though you’re doing everything right: you’re in the wrong city.
Examples of that may be:
- 1You’re a Republican looking for a Republican man, but your city is mostly Democrats
- 2There’s little to no nightlife
- 3There are no busy malls
- 4The city isn’t walkable and everyone drives
- 5The city is too small so you already know everyone (and vise versa) and there aren’t enough options
- 6Because the city is so small, no man wants to approach you for fear of ruining his reputation/ gossip
Now, I’m mentioning cities, but sometimes being in the wrong neighborhood is the problem. You’re so far out that going out is such a pain you never do it.
In either case, MOVE. Get to a big city with lots of great men: Nashville, Phoenix, Boston, Austin, NYC, etc.
Remember, relationships are one of the greatest sources of happiness in life and you don’t want to end up with a mediocre guy just because you weren’t willing to move.
P.S.
I’m not just being hard on you, I tell the same thing to guys: Where Can I Meet a Girl? Top 25 Venues to Meet Women Easily | Dating Armory
6. Work Wherever Your Type Of Man Spends Time
Here’s a very basic principle that’ll save you a lot of time and effort in meeting your man: Work wherever your type of man spends time.
Here’s how it works:
Of course, you don’t need to take this to the extreme, many times getting a side job is more than enough.
7. Have An Adventurous Life
There are 3 ways to live your life:
- 1Having no social life
- 2Having a life
- 3Having an adventurous life
The first way - “having no social life” - is an obvious no-go and if that’s where you find yourself these days (home-work-eat-repeat), you need to head back and relearn social skills (Social Skills Handbook by Chris MacLeod is good).
The second way - “having a life” - is good. You’re going out once or twice a week. As an attractive girl, you should be approached every so often. But it’s not good enough if you’re dead set on meeting an attractive, high value man.
What we need in the third way: having an adventurous life. This is where you’re living on the edge. Doing things you’re not used to doing, exploring new areas and most importantly, meeting new people.
The problem begins when you start living an adventurous life. All the excuses start rolling in.
- Oh’ I too scared to go out alone
- I don’t want to put in the effort to get a guy to approach me
- It’s too masculine to approach a guy at the gym
- Rejection is too painful. I don’t want to meet new people.
And on and on. You should see all the comments/ emails I get.
But here’s how I always reply:
If you're scared to go out alone, bring pepper spray with you. If that’s not enough, then you’re simply not ready to date. Go home and come back when you’re ready.
Here’s something else you should consider:
When you match with some guy on a dating app who claims to have a ‘fun life’, you don’t know if he’s lying. Anyone can photoshop his way into an exciting Tinder profile.
On the other hand, imagine you lived an adventurous life and one day you decided to go rappelling. As you’re making your way down the cliff, your heart is beating 1001 times a second and your hands are sweating, but you love it. It’s exhilarating. As you’re making your way down, you notice, maybe 15 meters away to your right, a hot, muscular guy is doing the same thing. You lock eyes and share a flirty smile. When you both make it to the bottom (he helps you off the harness of course), you start talking (it’s easy because you already have so much in common) and he eventually takes your number.
You know this man is legit when he says he loves life and does adventurous things (attributes you should be looking for in a man). This is unlike the Tinder guy who you can’t know if he’s lying.
Let us consider the other numerous benefits of meeting your man the second way:
- You were doing fun activities which automatically filters out the boring guys because they aren’t doing the fun things you’re doing! No need to filter past 1000 creepy guys on Tinder again.
- You met your man while you were enjoying life, doing what you love doing (keep in mind that rappelling is an extreme example to draw out the lesson)
- Avoided all other female competition for that sexy guy (because how many other adventurous girls are there?)
So to summarize:
If you’re a workaholic during the week and spend your weekend watching Netflix, reading personal development books, and cleaning your home, you must drastically change your life around. You need to start living an adventurous life to seem more attractive (because no high value man wants to commit to a boring girl), to gain exposure to more men (meeting men usually happens naturally, being closed up is your problem) and to get more men to notice you. Stop waiting for your dream man to come knocking on your door or any other kind or miracle. Become your own hero.
Que the dramatic music.
8. Revisit That Place Multiple Times
Revisiting your favorite place to meet men several times may be needed in order to get approached by a man for one simple reason: guys - without alcohol - are just too scared to talk to a girl they don’t know. This includes ex-military, muscular and even rich guys. Only a very small percentage of guys have the guts to cold approach a cute girl in the coffee shop (that doesn’t mean those other guys aren’t attractive).
So how do you get all these scared, but attractive guys to approach you in said venue? You revisit that place multiple times. Each time you see your man, you smile flirtatiously and with time he’ll pick up his balls and approach you.
Again, you should probably read my definitive guide to approaching: 23 Techniques: Approaching Guys & Getting Approached By Guys You Like | Dating Armory
By the way, this is why I take issue with those who mention you can meet a man on a flight and should even buy a first class seat in the hope of meeting a rich man.
Like sure, you could. I bet it’s happened before, but is that realistic?
Most of the time, you need to bump into your man several times before you strike up a conversation and trade numbers (plus if he’s a rich man in first class there’s a good chance he’s preoccupied with his work or sleeping and that’s assuming he’s single).
9. Not All Meeting Points Are The Same
Just like there are different approach strategies, not all meeting points are the same.
Some venues will work well during the summer, others more in the winter and some will work all year round.
Some venues will work great for girls in their 20’s and will fail miserably for women in their 40’s (and vise-versa).
Some venues aren’t that great for meeting high value men per say, but will increase your exposure to men in general (then allow you to choose kinda like real life Tinder).
Some venues will make you the 'approacher' - gym, other times guys will be approaching you - bar.
Some venues will be something that both sexes generally enjoy, while other times you’ll be joining a predominantly male or female space.
Point is: there is no perfect place for meeting men (there is no pussy or penis paradise, sorry everyone) and every venue has it’s pros and cons.
10. Always Be Proactive
It would be dumb to just sit and wait and hope someone falls into your lap. This is true even if you’re in the perfect city in the best neighborhood. Prince charming will not come knocking at your door like Uber Eats.
You need to be proactive.
It’s not gonna be easy.
This journey of meeting your man will involve overcoming many fears, including visiting new venues, starting new hobbies (knitting, video games and reading aren’t enough), learning how to flirt and approaching men you don’t know. You will be spending a lot more time outside your house and massively increasing your exposure to attractive men.
Remember, none of the following locations/ venues will do anything for you if you aren’t willing to TAKE ACTION. Prepare yourself!
11. Play Hard To Get
On the other hand, while you’re being proactive, don’t forget your feminine elegance. You don’t need to throw yourself at any man who gives you a little attention.
Once you initiate, play a little hard to get. Let him chase you a little and slowly reel you in with his flirting, teasing and love.
12. Your Social Circle
Your social circle (in regards to dating) includes your family, neighbors, friends and coworkers.
Obviously, your friends are gonna be the strongest link in your social circle in terms of meeting men, so let's define the 4 pillars of what it means to have good friends so you don’t fall for quantity over quality.
- Your friends know high value men
- Your friends raise your value as a group
- Your friends throw parties and know lots of men
- Your friends make an effort to get to know new people
Now that we’ve defined what’s included in your social circle and what makes a strong social circle, let’s discuss why Social Circle Game is one of the best ways to meet guys:
- Knowing just a few good friends, could potentially put you in contact with 300+ men through their own friends/family who know single guys (a lot of relationships are basically referrals)
- Your friends can act like wings and force you to approach cute guys you see around at the gym or at the bar
- You aren’t meeting any guys you don’t know because you’re friends will always introduce the two of you and make it all less nerve racking
- Because there’s less cold approaching, you’ll experience less or no rejections when asking your man out on a date
- All the guys are pre-filtered through your friends, so no more swiping left of weirdos on Tinder
- This is real life. No online dating (that’s an irrefutable benefit).
Now that we have the importance of having a strong social circle clear, let’s discuss some actionable steps to use your social circle to meet guys
- Don’t be afraid of going to female-only activities/ hobbies (e.g. yoga class) in the fear of missing out on guys because your new female friends you meet there will introduce you to more men than you can imagine
- Tell your friends in advance that your single and what kind of man you want to meet
- Tell your friends to force you to approach a guy if he’s your type
- Tell your friends not to cockblock any man who approaches you (because they will get jealous)
P.S.
While reviewing my emails and all the coaching calls I’ve been doing, the number one source of singleness has become very apparent: lacking of basic social skills.
Having no social circle is just a sign of lacking basic social skills (because once you have a good social circle, meeting guys is natural). So before we move on (as mentioned in ‘Have An Adventurous Life’), objectively evaluate your social skills. Are they good enough to build a social circle? If yes. Great. If not, take a couple steps back, work on the basics and come back when you’re ready.
13. Libraries And Bookstores
If you’re a shy girl looking to meet shy guys, go ahead and pitch your tent in your local bookstore or library because that’s where you'll meet your soulmate.
In all seriousness, there are so many ways to meet a guy at your ‘book-place’:
- Seem more approachable by being kind to employees and fellow bookworms
- Get a library card or a B&N card so you can revisit multiple times to encourage your man to finally approach you (and if you know he arrives at a specific time, try to arrive at the same time or earlier)
- Seem bored and unsure of what book to buy in order to encourage a man to be your hero and help you make that very important purchase decision
- Go to your local library’s events (book signings, author talks), book clubs or classes - check the website of your local library for events
- It can help to be seen reading an interesting book (e.g. books about rock bands) to seem more approachable (guys will have an easier time to strike up a conversation). And if he’s reading anything naughty, make sure you tease him about that!
- Walk past your target man while carrying a stack of heavy books in order to get him to help you (don’t forget a little eye flirting)
- You could always take charge and approach your target man for recommendations
- Always go for a bookstore with a coffee shop next door or part of the bookstore (take B&N as an example) to making your first date super easy
Just be aware that while you can absolutely meet great guys at a library, most of them are gonna be shy and timid. But again, if that’s what you’re looking for, good!
14. Coffee Shops
First, pick a good coffee shop and get the timing right:
- Go to a coffee shop situated in a high income district or one where lots of wealthy men frequent. (Instead of working from home-all-alone, why not work at your coffee shop?)
- Instead of going to a generic Starbucks, go to an interest coffee shop (below in a picture of a quasi antique-coffee shop I used to frequent)
- Don’t go when it’s so empty that no one’s there or when it’s so busy that you can’t get your own table.
Now here are some actionable tips (again, you’ll want to read my full guide to approaching for more complete techniques):
- Definitely don’t seem stuck on your phone or laptop. Instead, seem a little bored, almost like you're waiting for something (or someone!) to entertain you.
- If you see your target man with his laptop looking for a place to sit down, invite him to sit next to you (always go to coffee shops with bigger tables).
- If he does sit next to you, close your computer, but not like you’re gonna leave, more like you need a break and need to talk to someone… maybe even share a tired look from all the work you’ve been doing. And by the way, you can always share your fantasy of escaping work forever as a way to strike up a conversation - who doesn’t think about that?
- Just like the library, if you see your target man arriving at the same time everyday, try to match his timing
I’ll finish this by saying that meeting a high value man at a coffee shop is possible. First off, who doesn’t like a good coffee in a chill atmosphere? Secondly, I know for many (including me), working on my laptop in a coffee shop helps me focus.
15. Gym
If you’re looking for the best place to meet hot guys, look no further than the gym.
First, you want to plant yourself in the biggest, best gym: should have lots of mixed fitness classes, swimming pool, jacuzzi, a small cafe-like area, steam/ sauna room, etc.
This places you with richer men (because these big gyms tend to cost more), gives you more places to be noticed and more potential opportunities to approach your man while he’s not working out (although I should mention, I don’t know a single man who would be annoyed by a girl approaching him during his workout - as long as he’s not in the middle of a set).
Now that you’re going to the right gym, let’s walk through some actionable tips:
- Don’t be afraid to wear leggings to catch the attention of guys, but don’t get so dolled up that you seem too intimidating
- Instead of hanging around the treadmills and such, head over to the heavy weights section where all the men are
- Because this is your gym that you go to almost everyday, you don’t want to shit where you eat. So even when you do approach a guy, go as indirect as you can so that if it goes south, it won’t be awkward to see him again at the gym.
You can read my full article for the rest of my recommended techniques 16 Moves: Meeting & Approaching Guys at the Gym and Getting Guys to Approach You, but I’ll end off by saying 2 things.
Number one, even if you can’t find a good dateable man, try making more female friends. Remember how important it is to have a strong social circle?
Number two, if you always workout at home, try searching for local running groups or something similar, you may have even better results there!
Again, read my dedicated gym guide to gain a glimpse of my vast wisdom: 16 Moves: Meeting & Approaching Guys at the Gym and Getting Guys to Approach You | Dating Armory
16. Dry Cleaner And Laundromat
At the Dry Cleaners you’ll find more wealthy men, but unless you want to take the initiative and approach, it’s highly unlikely you’ll meet a man at the dry cleaners.
This brings us to your local laundromat. And before you assume that only broke losers don’t have their own washing machine/ dryer, let me remind you that:
- Many nice apartments in urban cities don’t have their own washing machines
- Maybe your man just moved in and hasn’t bought his washing machine yet
- While it’s true that laundromats aren’t exactly filled with high value men, you are increasing your exposure to men and therefore increasing your chances of meeting your soulmate
I guess there are two benefits of using a laundromat. A) You can tell very easily by looking for children's/ wifes clothing to see if he’s single or not. B) If you go to a nicer laundromat, you’ll be able to sit down with a nice coffee and wifi which basically turns it into a coffee shop
17. High-end grocery stores
Going high end to filter for rich guys. Think Whole Foods or any other super ‘health conscious’ stores that sell fruit shakes, etc.
18. Parks
There are 3 types of parks where you can meet men.
Regular park
You can go to a regular park - that’s fine if you notice lots of guys hanging out there, plus you could always time it right so you see each other on your daily runs. But I’d recommend either a dog park or a calisthenics park.
Dog park
Couple of girls have told me that a guy who takes care of his dog usually means he’s at least somewhat stable and emotionally mature (plus he’s got the money to afford the dog).
So in case you don’t have a dog, borrow your neighbor's dog (just don’t get a boring dog) and head over there - just make sure your dog starts to play with his dog.
Local calisthenics park
Another good place. But here you should find muscular, ambitious young men. Go with your girl friends and try to strike up a conversation.
19. Basketball courts
Any public sports courts should do. All you need to do is head over there with a friend and challenge them to a game: girls vs guys.
20. Bars
I can already hear you loud and clear:
And yes, you’re right. Those are legitimate problems.
However, I’d like to make the claim that you can and should consider using bars as a way to meet a long term boyfriend or husband - not just hookups.
Allow me to explain, point by point.
Cons of meeting men at bars
Bars are only good for hookups
We know the common saying “you're not going to meet a good guy in a bar” and “guys at the club only want 'one thing'.”
But what is misleading about that is every normal, healthy man wants to hookup! All the time and everywhere - that’s our biological programming; our sexual strategy.
So yes, you may be approached at the bar by a man looking for a hookup, but you can always change the frame of the conversation and let him know what you’re really looking for.
Do you sleep with him that night or do you take his number and suggest you meet up later down the week?
What may also surprise you is that most guys when given this choice between dating or nothing (no hooking up), they’ll choose the former. (By the way, have you tried to approach guys yourself at the bar and make things clear from the beginning?)
It’s not always about where a man finds you, it’s about how you present yourself.
Additionally, you don’t need to go to bars that are known to be meat markets full of people cruising for a one-night stand (avoid clubs all together). As we’ll soon discuss, picking your bar carefully will help avoid many common problems.
Too many drunk guys
Too many drunk guys is mostly solved by A) going to the right bars B) going to your bar at the right times (as we’ll soon discuss).
Too noisy to talk
Again, are you going to the right bars at the right times?
Also, you don’t need to stand where it’s so loud. Take a break outside. And if you end up liking him, you can substitute verbal communication with body language and touch (primal forms of communication).
Can’t meet people outside your group
That’s because you choose not to meet people outside your group. If you’re shy and introverted, ask your friends to get you to talk to that cute standing by the bar. You need to be proactive, remember?
Too much competition
Yes, but understand there will always be intersex competition, men between men and women between women. There is no escaping competition (unless you get lucky with some obscure bar).
Not being able to shake off a loser who approached you
Being approached by losers is one of the downsides of being in a social arena where approaching women is acceptable. Sometimes a hot guy approaches you (he likes beer, sports, women and cars) and sometimes a loser approaches you (goes alone, trying to get laid). Oh well.
The second thing I want to point out is that you could meet up with weirdos everywhere - church included. So it’s not a matter of where you get approached or where you approach your man, it’s a matter of going out of dates, getting to know him and analyzing his traits, values and habits then making your decision.
You may also recognize this as ‘filtering and setting boundaries’.
Thirdly, and this really solves the problem, you need to learn how to gracefully reject guys so you don’t get stuck with them the whole evening. I should soon be writing a post about how to reject guys efficiently, so check back in a bit.
Pros of meeting men at the bar
Bars are full of people the same age as you
Unless you’re older, you won’t have any trouble finding someone attractive the same age as you.
Bars are the social place
Everyone is looking their best, it is socially acceptable to talk to people you don’t know and there’s an unlimited supply of alcohol - the most potent social lubricant.
How to meet men at the bar
Picking the right bar
As mentioned, picking the right bar will solve most of the common bar related problems. So how do you pick the right bar?
First and foremost, only go to places that A) you enjoy visiting and B) the kind of men you like tend to hang out there.
If you’re looking to meet rich men, go to rooftop bars in your city’s financial district and check out tiki bars. Depending on where you live, wealthy men may prefer that area (especially during the after work hours).
Try finding bars with games (beer-pong, pool table) because you could use the excuse that you want to challenge him to a game as a way to approach him.
If you’re traveling, visit an ex-pat bar, you’ll meet people travelling just like you.
And lastly, if you’re looking to avoid hookup only bars, avoid bars with that kind of reputation (duh!), but also check out other alcohol related meetups, e.g. craft beer meetup, many traditional guys tend to look for high quality food/ drinks where hookups aren't be an option.
When to meet men at the bar
Unless you go with a friend, aim for the bar at around evening time, before that some guys might see you as a gold digger or a prostitute.
You also don’t want to go when it’s crazy busy, so depending on what bar you picked, it may be better to check out what it’s like midweek vs the weekend craziness.
Always leave before 11 or 12 to avoid all the super drunk guys who are only interested in hooking up.
Be the one to approach
Unlike most guys who are approaching you to hookup, the guys who aren’t approaching you are usually the same guys looking for a relationship. So, as we said, why don’t you take the initiative and approach those guys?
Tips on meet guys in a bar
Most of my bar related dating tips are in this expanded post: 13 Moves: Meeting & Approaching Guys at the Bar and Getting Guys to Approach You, but I want to finish this piece by saying NO venue is perfect for meeting guys, including bars. My argument is only that you should consider using bars to meet a good man for a long term relationship.
21. Church
Because what do we do right after we leave the bar? Go to church. Gosh, I’m surprised you didn’t know that!
First off, if you’re not christian, meeting guys at the church is not an option. Skip this one!
But if you are christian, going to church may be an excellent opportunity to meet a good man. Here are some tips:
- Find a high end church with single men (lots of them are filled with families)
- Visit often (one times isn’t enough, this isn’t a bar)
- Seem approachable (if you see a good man who seems single, sit next to him)
- Have answers ready: What was your past like? Why are you here? Etc. Make sure people pick up that you’re single and ready to mingle
Other way to meet good men, include:
- Going to other church events
- Going to the church’s meetup for singles
- Do some volunteering for the church
And of course, you can always use christian dating apps, but that’s another subject.
22. Public Transport
You’re always waiting at the same bus/train stop every morning and taking the same ride, it’s not that awkward to strike up a conversation.
23. Gas Stations In Affluent Areas
Meeting a guy at a gas station (avoid poorer areas) is much like meeting a guy on a flight. It’s not a great option, but if you see an attractive, high value man, why not approach him in those 3 minutes that he’s filling up his car?
24. Dance Classes
A lot of girls (and guys) are super scared of dance classes. Nobody wants to appear awkward.
I get it.
But this is actually a second benefit of going to dance classes: even if you don’t end up meeting your man, you'll feel so much more comfortable with your body and more easily express yourself.
But that’s not all, here are some other reasons why you should learn dance:
- It’s a good workout
- You’ll make more female friends (those friends will help you meet your man)
- If you’re good, you’ll stand out and he’ll notice you
- It’s a lot of fun
- Dance classes can work much like speed dating: you learn a small dance sequence from the teacher, practice it (usually) with an opposite-sex partner for a couple minutes and then switch partners (won’t be talking a lot, but touching can be just as good)
Another very important point is to pick your style of dance carefully.
For example, hip hop dancing, while very cool, isn’t partner dancing and will attract a very different kind of guy, as opposed to, say, salsa.
Additionally, hip hop dance classes tend to be mostly women, while salsa and other partner dance styles are 50/50.
That being said, I would recommend you go for partner dancing such as swing, salsa or tango. These have very clear lead/follow roles which attract conservative, men with good jobs (and the women there tend to be feminine).
Side note: yes, there will be some weird, needy guys there. But remember what we said before: no venue for meeting good men is perfect, so accept it for what it is and move on.
25. Any Men’s Classes
There’s a slim chance that the man of your dreams is at your local knitting club, so why not search for men's classes (or at least other gender neutral hobbies)?
Here are some ideas:
- Martial arts (you may even find martial arts classes at your gym)
- Language classes
- Woodworking (don’t need to working hard, building heavy closets, you can do beautiful carvings with woodworking)
- Painting
- Brewing (very traditional)
- Cooking
- Music/ learning instruments
- Photography
- Calligraphy
Sure, most people don’t do these things or even entertain the idea of going to a cooking class, but that’s why you’re different, why you’ll have an easier time avoiding competition and meeting a high value man (lazy, boring guys don’t learn martial arts).
26. Home Depot
Or any hardware store.
See a guy who interests you, ask him how long of a screw you’d need to screw __ properly and he’ll be more than happy to help you out. From there you can ask him how he knows so much, where he’s from and… what’s his number.
Read my guide to flirting for more details: 43 Exclusive Methods To Flirt With a Guy In Any Situation [& Countless Examples] | Dating Armory
27. Pet store
Pet stores are different from any other pet stores because you can also stop and chat with your target man about his dog and from there get to know each other.
28. Malls
The first thing you want to do is buy something so you don’t seem like a lost child in the mall. I recommend you buy something cool or unique, that’ll help keep the conversation going once you do meet a guy.
Next, besides meeting a guy next to or in one of the stores, I recommend you look for guys around one of the food areas and when you find a cool guy, do the following:
- Just sit next to him
- Seem a little bored (stay off your phone)
- Ask him random questions while initiating flirting eye contact (questions about how the food tastes, where he got his outfit because you think it’ll look good on your brother, if he can pass the salt, etc.)
- Either you make it clear why you approached him or wait for him to make the connection
- If he doesn’t get that you like him, try to bump into him again, maybe the escalator as he’s leaving
Oh yeah, all of this is assuming you’ve chosen a busy mall to visit, not one of those malls that are falling apart due to online shopping.
29. High-end Stores
I say high end stores because that’ll put you in place to meet wealthy, ambitious men. If it’s a man’s only clothing store, either get a side job there or say that you’re buying a present for your brother.
By the way, if you didn’t know, this is how Georgina Rodriguez met Cristiano Ronaldo:
Rodriguez met Ronaldo, who she describes as her "Prince Charming", in 2016, when she was working at a Gucci store in Madrid. Ronaldo played for Real Madrid from 2009 until 2018. “His height, his body, his beauty caught my attention. I was trembling in front of him, but a spark ignited,” she told Grazia in 2020. [4]
30. High-end Restaurants
Again, high end so you filter for rich men.
Unless you’re going in direct, the best way to pull this off is to work a side job at a high end restaurant and work the hours when you know the rich guys show up.
31. Farmer’s Markets
Farmers market: great place to meet men who like to get out, buy fresh produce and eat healthy.
32. The Local Music Scene
Even if he’s initially not romantically interested in you, all musicians like to play with other musicians. So if you’re good at playing an instrument or a good songwriter, it’s time to leverage that to meet a talented, attractive guy.
33. Concerts And Live Music
The first thing I hear when I mention the possibility of approaching a guy at a concert is that they won’t hear me!
And yes, it’s true, but you don’t have to stand right next to a 300 watt speaker, why not stand near the backdoor area?
Also, you don’t have to make your approach mid-song. Instead, try going in: before the show starts, between songs and musicians, etc.
34. Sporting Events
Just another venue to increase your chances of getting a guy to approach you or you approaching a guy. If you’re dead-set on meeting a rich guy, spend more to get VIP seats.
35. Parties
Everyone's out to have fun, people are drinking and it’s totally acceptable to meet new guys… kinda like a bar, amarite? So whether you want to meet a guy at a party or get a guy to approach you at a party, just follow the regular club/ bar rules.
36. Community Or Neighborhood party
Is your cummunity making a free lunch for everyone? Meet new guys in your neighborhood.
37. Ice Rink
“Oh no, I fell!”
“No problem, glad I could help!”
“Wow, you’re so strong… How did you learn how to skate?”
“Haha, thank you. I don’t know, I've been skating since I was a kid..”
“Could you show me how you did that cool move back there?”
“Sure, come with me.. But hold my hand, I wouldn't want you to fall again!”
38. Traveling
Yes, you could absolutely meet a good man on a plane - but I’m gonna give you more concrete examples:
- Visit an ex-pat bar
- Do some research and find a good social hotel or hostel
- Try to get in to airline lounges at international airports (ask any guy who looks like he’s about to walk in that you really just need to get some work done in peace and he should bring you in as a guest)
- Spend time in a club lounge of a 5 star hotel
And in general, get out and see the city you’re visiting. If you stay in your room, ain't’ no way you will meet anyone!
39. High-end Vacation Cities
The first thing to know is going to the best high end vacation city, but at the wrong time will lead to little or no results. The trick is to get the perfect timing (usually July-August) and the best location, and for that, try any of the following 10 cities:
- Ibiza (check out Los Enamorados, Cala Bassa, Blue Marlin, Amante, La Paloma)
- The Seychelles
- Mykonos
- French Riviera (check out Cannes Barrière, the small beach clubs in Cavalaire-sur-Mer, Pampelonne St Tropez, go make your own perfume in Grasse)
- Amalfi Coast (check out Capri and Positano - get a room on the left side of town to get stunning view)
- Puerto Banús
- Marbella, Spain
- Opatija
- Split
- Dubrovnik (Croatia)
Unless you’re mega rich, you may be asking how you could possibly afford to go there! Well the answer is like usual: get a job there and then talk to as many guys as you can.
40. High-end Resorts
Instead of going to cities, get a job at a resort and try to meet rich men that way.
41. High-end Events
Luxury brand events:
- Brioni
- Ermenegildo Zegna
- Loro Piana
- Hermes
Yacht Shows:
- Monaco Yacht Show
- Louis Vuitton Cup
- America's Cup
Film Festivals:
- Cannes Film Festival
- Sundance Film Festival
- Toronto International Film Festival
- And film premiers
You get the idea.
42. Business Meetings
If you get a chance to join a business meeting (even if you’re not that high up), join, it’ll increase your exposure to men. This is why being a receptionist at a big business can be a great idea, even if it’s a part time job.
Just be careful that the man approaching you isn't married and just looking for some fun on the side.
43. Networking Events
Here’s where you meet the rich men or at least the men with the potential to become wealthy: networking events. Talk to as many men as you can, gather information, and when you’re ready, approach your target man. Just make sure that when you ask him out on a date, he knows you’re romantically interested in him and this is not some friendly business-like encounter.
44. Auctions
If you’re looking for successful guys, avoid the small auctions and go for high level auctions where all the big money is spent.
45. Art Galleries
Another great place to meet wealthy men looking to buy expensive arts and paintings: any art galleries, art shows, and design expos: Art Basel, London Frieze, European fine art fair, FIAC, Venice Biennale.
46. Hunting
If you’re looking for a good, traditional, army man, anything to do with guns or hunting should be in your sights.
But let’s be practical, so here are some things you should be doing/ related places you should be visiting:
- Gun clubs (you’d be surprised, but they have clubs like this in Australia)
- Ax throwing
- Hunting clubs
Basically anything to do with weapons and powerful stuff will be a good place to visit if you’re into guys like that.
47. Shooting range
Another great way to meet ex-army guys.
48. Gun Shows
And another..
49. Truck Shows
Lots of different truck shows (off-roading, antique truck shows), but the key is that these shows attract a certain kind of “manly men” who love big trucks.
50. Co-ed Sports
If you like sports and want to meet strong men, why not join a co-ed sports league/ team? Keep in mind that you don’t have to play rough sports like football, bowling is just as good.
51. Golf
Besides for mini golf, I’ve never done any real golfing, but from what I’ve heard, if you go to one of the nicer golf courses, your chances of meeting an older, wealthier guy is much higher.
52. Tennis
A great sport which is gender neutral.
53. Skiing
If you can’t afford skiing, but love the sport and want to meet men, either get a regular job at a ski resort or learn how to be a ski instructor and meet guys that way while making decent money (you may even meet a guy with the same passion as you).
54. Horseback riding
Not sure how many single guys try this or how expensive it is, but theoretically a decent chance to meet a fun guy willing to do new things.
55. Hiking
Think anything to do with climbing: rock walls, rappelling, mountaineering, etc.
Here’s where you meet adventurous guys who aren’t lying when they say they have a fun life.
56. Boats
We briefly mentioned yacht shows earlier, but now I’d like to expand it to anything boat related. And just a little reminder: the average guy doesn’t own a boat, here you’re upping your chances of bumping into a rich dude.
57. Museums
What better place to meet a nice, conservative guy than in your local sex musuem? In all seriousness, pick the museum based on the kind of guy you want to meet.
58. Hackathons
Someone should create a dating app for geeks, but I guess till then, the geeks will have to meet at Hackathons.
59. Winery
In the sense that people are drinking alcohol, wineries (or any other wine/ beer tasting event) are kinda like bars:
Guys and girls have a good time + alcohol = an easy chance to meet your partner.
60. Comedy clubs
Obviously don’t go alone, bring some female friends, and look around for a cute single guy to approach before or after the show (or during breaks). The good part about comedy clubs is that you know you’re going to meet a specific kind of guy because you know he’s not offended by that comedian's jokes.
61. Fetish Events
If you’re looking for a kinky guy, hell, why not go to a fetish event or meeting group?
62. Volunteering
Great place to find a good, caring guy for a long term relationship:
- Clothing charities
- Animal shelter
- Beach cleaning
- Fun with kids with special needs
- Working at a soup kitchen
To find volunteering events in your city or town, just search Google for “[volunteering events] + [your city]” and click on any of the results. Just be warned that there are usually many more girls than guys, so don’t go if you’re just doing it to meet a man.
63. Charity Events
There must be tons of charity events going on all the time in the city you’re in, anything from art exhibits to weightlifting competitions - just do a simple google search.
64. Weddings
If you find yourself at a wedding, be one the lookout for a guy who seems interesting and if you find one, approach him.
To be clear, I am not saying to go to weddings with the express interest in meeting a guy, I’m just saying be on alert. Plus weddings are a great way to meet new female friends and spread the word that you’re single.
65. Festivals, events, shows, and conventions
This last section is about making sure you visit other miscellaneous events we haven’t covered already:
- Flea market
- Flower market (“aren’t you gonna buy me a flower?”)
- Antique Fairs
- Music Festivals (i.e. Coachella, Burning man, Miami, Winter Music Conference)
- Anime Convention (if you’re into that!)
- The long ass list of festivals I put together for men looking to meet women
- Food and beer fests
- Craft related festivals
There are a ton of different types of conventions, the trick is to find the one with the most men and the type of men you like.
Now that we got all the main events and conventions out of the way, let’s address a question I get quite often: what do I say when they ask what brings me here?
The answer is say whatever you want. You’re overthinking it. Nobody actually cares what you’re doing there. When they ask you what brings you here, it’s just a way to strike up a conversation. A sign of interest in you really.
“I was having a picnic nearby and wanted to see what was going on”
“My friends convinced me to check out __ event”
You get the idea.
66. How to meet guys online without using dating apps
I’m assuming you didn’t read this article to learn how to meet guys using online dating, however there are ways to meet guys online without using online dating/ Tinder:
Meetup.com
Depending on your city, meetup.com can be an excellent way to meet cool guys. While finding a suitable event, you need to realize that many ‘events’ are really singles events so you have to read between the lines.
Another way to meet guys online without online dating is Facebook. You can catch up with old coworkers, friends, colleagues, etc. without seeming too desperate:
- You can use status updates to show people what kind of girl you are
- You can show people where you stand politically
- You can show people what you like
- You can show men how you look with nice photos
- And you can make it clear that you’re single!
Start liking and commenting, until he or you start talking and eventually get on a date.
67. How And Where To Meet Guys In College
I wrote this for guys: 55 Tried-and-True Steps to Get a Girlfriend at Middle, High School and College | Dating Armory.
Now it’s time to write a guide for the girls:
- Understand that college is the easiest time to meet men. This is not the time to let shyness get the upper hand. If you can’t get yourself to meet at least one guy in college, it’s only gonna get more challenging. Be proactive!
- When picking your side courses in college, get the ones that attract more men than women
- If you’re not in college, but want to meet guys your age - even teenagers - head over to your local community college and take a course on anything
- Catch up with him after he wins (or loses) a sports game
- If you’re on a big college campus, meet guys by asking them for directions
- If you want to meet older guys at college, attend some graduate events at your college
- The cafeteria when your man is eating alone
- Instead of going to a bookstore or city library, go to the university library and follow the same rules
- Join different clubs/ booster clubs (read more about this in my guide for the dudes: Where Can I Meet a Girl? Top 25 Venues to Meet Women Easily | Dating Armory)
- If you have co-ed dorm rooms, try getting him to be your roommate
- If you’re dorms aren’t co-ed, but you’re under the same roof, meet in the halls
Now that you know where to meet guys in college, I suggest you learn how to approach them and eventually get your man to ask you out.
68. How And Where To Meet Rich Men
First let’s review our prime ‘rich men’ locations we previously mentioned:
- High-end grocery stores
- High-end bars (right timing+location)
- High-end stores
- High-end restaurants
- VIP seats at a sporting event
- High-end vacation cities
- High-end resorts
- High-end events
- Business meetings
- Networking events
- High-end auctions
- Art galleries
- Golf and other expensive sports that attract wealthy men
- Lastly, go to a political fundraising event and meet the men there
Now that you know where to be, here are a couple tips on getting a wealthy man to commit to you:
- Change your mindset from ‘how can I get one’ to ‘what does a high value male want’ and act accordingly
- If you don’t feel capable of attracting a rich man, look for a younger guy that looks like he has the potential to get rich
- Use exclusive online dating apps: Raya, Inner Circle, The League, Happn, Luxy
- Understand that flattering him about his money won’t work because he has so much of it. Instead find his ego’s weak spots and invade from there.
- Make sure you are he’s sexually satified 24/7, otherwise he’ll get it from other women… because he can.
And of course, it’s also important to know what you’re getting yourself into if a wealthy man commits to you. There are always pros and cons.
Pros:
- People will automatically respect you
- You’ll have peace of mind
- You’ll be able to buy anything
- All the chores will be done by maids
- Because of the western laws regarding devorce, if you ever separate, you’ll take half or more of his stuff
Cons:
- Because he’ll be so busy managing his business, you’ll find yourself lonely at times]
- His wealth might blind you to his narcissistic personality which may come to bite you later
- Depending on his character, he may dump you the second he sees a better deal
I’m not saying marrying a rich man is good or bad, I’m saying there’s no meeting the perfect man. Always have realistic expectations.
69. How And Where to meet a military men
First, I'd like to address how ‘military men’ are overrated.
While you might think to get in the army you need to have already possessed good traits (loyalty, hard work), it’s not always the case. There are many, many guys who join the army because they don’t know what to do with their life. And just like any other organizations, there are always a whole bunch of assholes.
In addition to that, getting into a relationship with an active army soldier is a whole nother ball game. First off, most guys on the base don’t want a relationship. Secondly, unless he works on a base near you, he’ll be half way across the world 50% of the year. I’ve heard so many horror stories about divorce and cheating that maybe army styled long distance relationships aren’t such a great idea.
So that’s just my warning, but if you still think guys look cuter in a uniform and want to meet one, here are my tips:
- Go to any hunting events or the shooting range to meet ex-military or active duty men
- From the reviews I’ve seen, military dating apps aren’t that great. But if you want to use online dating, just go with Tinder and filter for the guys you want while setting up your profile strategically to attract army dudes
- Don’t go to bars near military bases unless you’re looking to hookup or willing to work hard on building a long term relationship
- Because wanting army men is a very niche filter, you’ll have to actively approach when you see one you like
- If you’re obsessed with army men, move to a city or town near an army base and then chill wherever the soldiers like to go (e.g. the sailors in Groton go to midscale Thai or Indian places around the post)
- Get a basic side job at a military base
- Go to events at a military base
- Remember to use your social circle (girlfriends who are involved in the military will know military men and be able to introduce you)
So again, it’s gonna be hard, but if that's what you want, who’s to tell you not to go after it.
70. How And Where To Meet Guys In Your 20s
In your 20’s everythings easier, you look better, have more energy, more guys are single and you’re less jaded by crazy dates. So pretty much all the venues mentioned will work, but if I could only pick three, it would be: social circle, bars, and college.
71. How And Where To Meet Men In Your 30s And Up
In your 30’s and up is where things become more difficult. You don’t look as good as you did in your 20’s and many guys who are single are single because they can’t get a girlfriend and there’s more competition.
So what are some tips to find a man?
Lower your expectations
Guys are biologically programmed to go after younger, more ‘fertile’ women so why would a rich guy who’s got 1000’s of cute 10 year old women chasing after him, go for an older woman?
I’m not saying you can’t get a good man, but you need to be realistic with your goals. Maybe consider dating a younger or older guy instead of dating a guy in your exact age range? Make Smart Compromises.
Get in the best shape of your life
If you partied all of your 20’s or didn’t stay in great shape, now is the time to get in the best shape of your life. Doing this alone will shave off 10 years and make you seem more attractive to the men you want.
Go where the older men are
Here’s where we talk about where to meet men in your 30s and up:
- Social circle (social circle will work no matter how old you are, that’s why it’s important to always have good female friends)
- Gym and other outdoor sports clubs (you’ll find older guys who actually take care of themselves and hopefully are too!)
- Mens stores
- Use mature dating apps/ sites or use regular online dating and filter for older guys
- Join university societies
- Use meetup.com and Facebook to meet older men
- Golf and other sports that attract older men
If you have any other venues/ places, share them with us in the comments!
Leverage your personality
After Jeff Bezos divorced Mackenzie Scott, he got a girlfriend. Lauren Sanchez.
How old is she? 52.
Now let me ask you:
Why would Bezos, the richest or second richest man in the world go after an older woman!? Why not get some cute little 21 year old?
While I can’t say for sure, I would say it’s because Sanchez knows how to connect with him on a higher level because she’s older, more mature and knows much more than a clueless (but hot) 21 year old. Bezos can talk to her about anything and she’ll be able to connect - whether it be business deals, politics or personal issues. [5]
The lesson? Leverage your personality to attract richer, older men.
72. Online dating apps
The following isn’t a guide to meeting guys over dating apps, rather, it’s a fair assessment of why you should consider using dating apps even if you don’t like the idea of meeting your soulmate online.
Cons of using dating apps
The cons are well known:
- Most of the guys are unattractive
- You don’t know if the attractive guys are lying about their life or are secret creeps
- Online dating has a social stigma is some places
- You don’t like the interview respect to dating apps like Match.com
Pros of using dating apps
- If you set up your profile properly, you can effortlessly filter out the guy you don’t want (religion, employment, politics, children). Example, if you don’t want guys to think you’re open to hooking up, write on your profile that you don’t drink and you’ll find a guy who doesn’t like clubs and is willing to take you out for dinner.
- By being smart about the lighting, etc. you can attract men that you wouldn’t be able to attract in real life (don’t worry, guys are doing the same thing)
- Using apps like Match or eHarmony can cost money which creates a useful barrier to entry
- If Tinder seems too hookup focused for you, use relationship centered dating apps like OKcupid and if that still doesn’t work, online matchmaking services are always available
- If you’re so worried about ending up with weirdo, you can easily double book an evening and leave early is the first guy isn’t interesting
- If you’re worried about seeming desperate or the stigma, realize that online dating is only growing and it’s estimated that over 280 million people will be using it by 2024 with a market value of 2.4 billion dollars! Online dating is the new bar/ club. Don’t be stuck in the past. [6]
To finish off, if you know how to get online dating to work for you, it can save you a lot of time, work and even money.
73. Why is it so hard to meet a guy?
Could be any of the following reasons:
- Even though you’re in all the right places, guys just don’t find you attractive or don’t like your personality. I know it sounds rough, but this is where you need to be honest with yourself if you’re serious about any change.
- You aren’t willing to do things you haven’t done before in order to place yourself around the men you want
- You’re not building up a solid social circle
- You don’t realize it’s a numbers game, you meet one guy then give up. Instead, make it your goal to go on 100 dates (don’t sleep with them!) and who knows maybe number 10 will be your man and maybe number 40. Plus the more you date, the more you realize what you truly want in a man and on top of that, the more you talk to men, the more you’ll learn how to talk in a feminine, charming sort of way.
- You’re refusing to meet guys online or certain environments for no good reasons other than “I don’t want to”
Anyways, that’s all. If you think I should sell this guide as an eBook on Kindle, LMK in the comments.
Till then,
Bye.