19 Signs of an Alpha Male: Am I an Alpha Male?

“Am I an alpha male” is an important question because if you don’t see the signs that you’re an alpha male, you know it’s time to get working!

This post is especially important for any girl reading this. Girls go crazy just trying to figure out if alpha males are interested or find them attractive.

alpha male example

After reading this, you won’t have any doubts! Let’s get started:

1. Extreme self-validation

Alpha males have an extremely high level of self-validation. An irrationally high level of self-validation.

An alpha male approves of everything he says or does. He can be a bank robber, an accountant or garbage man, it doesn’t matter. His level of self-validation is what makes him an alpha male.

When he gets criticized or verbally attacked, he can stay calm without losing his mind and getting all emotional. He keeps his presence and responds with confidence.

If you’re dating a guy that can easily take criticism like this, you are dating an alpha male.

If you can take criticism like this, you’re an alpha male. If you can’t, read my post 25 Fail-Proof Ways To Be An Alpha Male Without Stressing Yourself Out And start working! [1, 2]

2. Earn good money

As I write about in my post The 9 Types of Alpha Males With Real Life Examples, there are many different types of alpha males:

  1. Charismatic
  2. Wealthy
  3. Spiritual
  4. Etc.

But the sign of a complete alpha male is someone that has financial freedom, not just high levels of charisma. He lives his life on his own terms. 

The typical alpha male doesn’t work like a madman to live his lifestyle. He usually has an online passive income stream that makes him millions while working only a couple hours a day.

If you are still living like a beta male, start doing the same things alpha’s are doing!

And for the girls reading this, if your man isn’t earning big bucks, chances are you’re not dating an alpha male. So either dump him or encourage him to create his own business.

3. Logical not emotional

Do you lose your mind when things aren’t going your way?

Do you live your life like an emotional animal?

When chaotic events occur, do you feel overwhelmed?

Do you get flustered everytime you don’t get what you want?

If your answer to any of these questions was “yes” you are sadly a beta male and I make this very clear in my post titled The 9 Types of Alpha Males With Real Life Examples

Alpha males live their lives based on logic, not fluffy emotions. This makes them come off as cold, but it’s also what makes them so effective: emotions don’t get in their way.

Alpha males are about getting things done, not just talking about stuff. 

Once you gain control over your emotions you will enter a select group of guys classified as alpha males. It’s hard work, but it’s well worth it. [1, 2]

4. Attractive to women

Everyone knows that alpha males are the ultimate seducer type, these men get 90% of all the girls. These alpha males are every girl’s dream. 

Girls will do everything to sleep with an authentic alpha male. Even cheat!

So when you ask “am I an alpha male?” think about your options with women?

Are girls super jealous of your girlfriend? 

Do you have so many options with girls, that you don’t even care if any girl leaves you?

Is it easy for you to get laid with 9’s and 10’s?

Do you have a bunch of girls that hang around you as friends, but would be more than happy to sleep with you?

If yes, you are absolutely an alpha male, specifically the seducer alpha male as explained in The 9 Types of Alpha Males With Real Life Examples.

If not, you better get to work because the only way you’ll learn to be confident and sexy around women is with experience and a good training like The Collection of Confidence by Hypnotica.

5. Earns the respect of fellow men

Even if women find you attractive, you can’t be called an alpha male before men truly respect you. If you lie, cheat or steal you won’t earn anyone’s respect. 

You must keep your word 100% and get things done. 

You need to be easy going and confident. 

Without these qualities you won’t have man to man friendships and you definitely cannot be considered an alpha male. 

And remember: if you can gain the respect of fellow men, you can be sure that girls find you devilishly attractive. Running after women isn’t everything. [3, 4]

6. Doesn’t care to impress anyone

The biggest sign of an alpha male is that he doesn’t care to impress anyone.

He doesn’t try to make himself act like anyone else to gain approval.

He doesn’t care if girls aren’t impressed by him.

He won’t go out of his way to gain anyone’s approval, he gives compliments, but never excessively.

He’s able to act this way because of his self-estimation. He knows exactly who he is and who he isn’t. He doesn’t need to prove himself to anyone because he’s proved who he is to himself.

If you’re a girl and you see a guy who matches these character traits, it means you are dating an alpha male! If not, just encourage him to get the course I recommended earlier so that he can get right to work.


7. You get your way no matter what

Everyone goes through many struggles in life to reach their goals, including alpha males. The difference is that alpha males pull though because they are determined to get what they want in life.

If see a guy that:

  1. Takes control of his life
  2. Doesn’t let failure hold him back
  3. Doesn’t worry about the things he has no control over

Then you know he’s an alpha male. [5, 6]

8. Having obsessions

When we talk about having obsessions in life, I’m talking about continuously leaving your comfort zone to chase your dreams. It’s about being irrationally ambitious about your purpose and building your empire.

The alpha male does not let himself get sedated or chained down by the average beta male mindset. Instead he lets his inner lion out and gets wild.

He does not make women number one in his life, his purpose is what he focuses on. Nothing else. 

For women it can be hard to date a guy like this because he won’t have time for you, but it’s well worth it because the time that he does spend with you will be high quality.

Of course, beta males will always have time for you, but they are so needy and clingy that you’ll leave every date feeling disgusted.

9. Alpha male body language 

Most of us can instantly tell if a guy is alpha or not because we can feel it. We can feel their dominant, powerful energy because of their alpha male body language.

I’ve actually written a post titled Alpha Male Body Language: The Dominance And Power, go read it because from there you’ll get 99% of the signs alpha males give off.

It doesn’t matter what type of alpha male you are (wealthy, seducer or spiritual), if you don’t exude alpha male body language, you are not alpha.

10. Natural confidence

There are 2 different types of confidence:

  1. Forceful confidence
  2. Powerful confidence

Forceful confidence comes from the beta male when he attempts to come off as an alpha male. He forces everyone to love, respect and listen to him and it never works.

On the other hand, alpha males have powerful confidence which inspires people to love, respect and listen to them. If this is the type of confidence you have, it’s a great sign that you’re an alpha male.

Here are some tips for alpha male confidence from Micheal Bernoff’s Core Confidence – Rapid Confidence Development Program (RCDP):

When you present yourself to people act as if we’re born with your confidence. 

Hide all your struggles and work that it took to build it up because confidence must always seem natural.

Always remember that building confidence is about knowing who you truly are and are not.

Without a clear understanding of yourself, you will not have the power to deal with any ridicule, criticism or verbal attacks.

11. Care deeply about people

There’s a reason why I write “care deeply” and not just caring because we are all caring, but alpha males are super caring. 

As leader they deeply care for their followers and that’s exactly why they continue holding their position. Yes, they can be cruel and vicious at times, but that is only to protect what’s behind them.

The beta male is the opposite. He’s the nice guy. He only helps others to gain approval and validation. Alpha males operate differently, alpha males are kind. They give for the sake of giving.

So are you an alpha male:

  1. Do you give because you want to give?
  2. Are you willing to defend others?
  3. Have you sacrificed your stuff for others?

If your answers were yes, you are on your way to greatness!

12. Talking slowly and calmly

Here’s a sign you’ll see almost immediately is every alpha male: the rate and pitch that he is talking because alpha males always talk in a calm, reassuring voice,

Beta males are so busy rushing after things in life that they have no time to talk in confident ways and consequently, no one respects them.

On the other hand, alpha males have healed their traumas, they live in the moment and when they talk, they are calm, composed and talk respectfully to others.

In the confidence course I recommended earlier, you’ll learn a lot more including many tricks to talk even while you’re feeling social anxiety i.e. talking to girls.

Of course, not every training is good for everyone, but you might want to start looking for the one training that’ll change your life today!

13. Post traumatic growth

We all go through trauma throughout our lives, the difference is how we deal with it.

  1. PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  2. PTG, Post Traumatic Growth

Beta males deal with trauma the first way, alpha males deal with trauma the second way. Alpha males use trauma to become stronger and love deeper. 

They can go into chaotic situations without losing their minds. The see rejection for what it is: optimization data, i.e. what to do next time.

You will never see an alpha male get flustered in an argument. They always stay cooled and laid back.

14. Being the leader

No matter how you define alpha male, everyone agrees that without having some sort of leadership you can’t be considered an alpha male, for example:

  1. Pastor
  2. Political leader
  3. CEO
  4. Head of a gang
  5. Running a non-profit organization

It doesn’t have to be a huge position with 1000 responsibilities, but he must be able to earn the respect of fellow men enough to have some sort of position of power.

15. Having standards 

The alpha male lives life on his own terms. He doesn’t accept anything below his standard in any area, such as:

  1. Relationships
  2. Finance 
  3. Health
  4. Fitness
  5. His level of charisma

He knows the cold truth that not everyone is a winner. He knows that he needs to work hard, but he’s up for the job.

He doesn’t let women waste his valuable time and only dates high value women. He goes after what he wants and expects only the best from himself.

16. Living for adrenaline

When an alpha male finally reaches financial freedom and everything calms down, he immediately takes it to the next level with his next business venture. 

He never settles and hates the comfort zone. If he can lift 450 pounds, he takes it even higher. If he’s good enough to get laid with 8’s and 9’s, he forces himself to seduce the 10’s.

Alpha males are always looking to face their fears. You will see them doing crazy stuff, whether it be bank robbing or running a multi-billion dollar business, it’s always to get that adrenaline rush.

While beta males are eating Cheetos on the couch, alpha males are out there making things happen. Alpha males are intense men.

17. Getting pleasure from real world results

You cannot call yourself an alpha male if you live a life escaping pain in your life, for example:

  1. Porn
  2. Drugs
  3. Loud music
  4. Video games

Overdoing any of these things on a continuous basis will sedate you, blocking you from ever transforming your life.

The alpha male never distracts himself from the pain in his life. Instead he works hard, produces results and feels pleasure from the real world he created for himself.

The beginning as an alpha male is very painful and beta’s aren’t willing to go through it, but that’s exactly why alpha males are so special.

alpha male with girl

18. Dressing like an alpha male 

Alpha males dress with a sense of style, they know how to look masculine. They don’t throw on some trashy clothing. They get the clothing that makes them feel comfortable and the haircut that fits them the best.

Sometimes the beta male will dress exactly like an alpha male, but there’s a big difference: 

Alpha males dress the way they do because they respect themselves, beta males dress like that to impress and gain the approval of others.

19. Doesn’t talk about being alpha!

Think about anyone that you consider being alpha, in every example you could come up with, none of them talk about how macho and alpha they are because it exudes insecurity like nothing else could.

The truth is alpha males don’t even have to talk about it because people see it. They see it in their body language and in all the other signs. They are alpha because they have control over themselves, not others.


At the end of the day if you’re asking about your status as a man, you are not alpha and that’s OK! you can start working and if you aren’t sure where to start read my post titled 25 Fail-Proof Ways To Be An Alpha Male Without Stressing Yourself Out.

Your friend, 

Colt Smith

  • Hey man thanks for the article,
    I’ve had my doubts about myself and my self-esteem is pretty low,
    but yh, I need to work on myself

  • That’s the general idea, anyway. But the idea that human men can be alpha males is actually far from scientifically accepted. This may come as a surprise, given how common and widespread the notion is. The most recent example would be Donald Trump in his presidential debates. People have labelled him an alpha male, Nigel Farage even defended Trump’s obscene comments about women as “ alpha male boasting ” and compared him to a silverback gorilla, which for those familiar with primate anatomy is actually quite an insult. So what, scientifically, is the case for alpha males among humans? As ever, it’s somewhat complicated.

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    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

    56+ Affirmations To Attract Women: Manifest Love

    The Blueprint: 29+ Steps to be the Bad Boy

    13 Proven Steps To Develop More Confidence With Women

    17 Exclusive Steps to Be More Masculine