20 Practical Steps To Attract A Woman Who Is Not Interested [Hands-On]

  • Home
  • /
  • Confidence
  • /
  • 20 Practical Steps To Attract A Woman Who Is Not Interested [Hands-On]

Nothing in this post is groundbreaking. 

So why spend time here? 

Because this article teaches practical, proven methods to attract a girl who doesn't like you without all the fluff and emotionalism.


Example of a girl who's not interested in you

1. How To Tell If A Girl Is Not Interested In You

Before we go down the rabbit hole of different kinds of techniques to re-initiate attraction, let’s first be sure that she truly isn’t into you by looking out for these signs:

  1. The conversations are boring. Not because she’s awkward, but because she doesn’t care about talking to you.
  2. She never seems happy around you
  3. She teases you in toxic ways, mocking your work
  4. She never leans in towards you to get closer
  5. She never gives you the opportunity to be alone with you
  6. She’s always too busy for you
  7. She never dresses to impress you (read: 25 subtle signs that a girl doesn't like you [with pictures]
  8. She never texts you first

For more covert examples, read: 18 Little Known Signs that a Shy Girl Doesn't Like You

[adinserter block="2"]

2. Reset The Relationship

Now that we’ve established that she doesn’t like you, we can move into the most painful, yet important step: Reset the relationship.

How? Break off all contact for 2-4 weeks. 

Why? Because you need to escape her internal list of “uninteresting guys” and the way you do that is by making her forget about you over 2-4 weeks of no contact. We use this exact technique when escaping the friend zone: no contact until she takes you out of her internal “friend bucket”.

Only continue with the following techniques once you’ve reset the relationship with a period of no contact.

Spend time alone before you try to attract her again

3. Discover Why She’s Not Interested 

During the (painful) period of no contact, you need to be thinking about what made her so uninterested in you. Here are some possibilities: 

  1. Are you offering something she doesn’t want? Are you offering her a relationship or even marriage while she just wants to have fun in her young party years (or vice versa)?
  2. If she stopped being interesting at a specific time, look back and find what turned her off. Was it your horrendous first kiss with her? Read: 11 Steps to Kiss a GIRL for The First Time With Total Confidence | DatingArmory.com 
  3. Is it her religious background or her political views blocking the connection? In this case, there’s nothing you can do
  4. Are you the type of guy she’s looking for? Some girls only want guys with specific characteristics or zodiac for whatever stupid reason.
  5. Did you display neediness in the relationship early on? Read: 13 Secrets To Stop Being Needy In Your Relationships | DatingArmory.com
  6. Are you good in bed? If you can’t make a girl orgasm and have great sex with her, why would she want to be in a relationship with you? 

I want you to find you flaws, no matter how painful they may seem, and fix them.

[adinserter block="3"]

4. Drop Your Obsession With Her

It sucks to hear it, but it’s true: your needy obsession with her is most likely the reason why she doesn’t like you. You gotta drop your obsession… but how? 

  1. Realize there are 1000’s of other girls who would be glad to be your girlfriend,
  2. Realize there are millions of hotter girls out there, and most importantly… 
  3. Realize that as a younger guy, you don’t have to settle down with any girl now because you’re sexaul value will only increase with time until you reach 35

No more pesistalizing!

5. How To Attract A Woman Who Is Not Interested PDF

Before we get into the specific techniques to get her back, I want to recommend to you a dating PDF that has greatly helped me and my students: The Tao of Badass by Joshua Pellicer. 

What I like about The Tao of Badass and what sets it apart, is that Joshua includes solid attraction techniques for beginners in his 150 page eBook and complex seduction moves for the players in his Advanced Attraction Course. 

All in all, here’s what you get:

  1. The Tao of Badass eBook (150 pages)
  2. The Tao of Badass Audiobook
  3. 4 Subliminal Core Confidence audios
  4. 5 Week Body Language Mastery Course
  5. The Seduction Course
  6. The Advanced Coaching Prep-course 
  7. Advanced Attraction Course
  8. 5 bonus books

For more info on his program, watch his Hacking Attraction Presentation and make your decision from there.

6. Make More Money

It’s no secret that girls like guys with money and it’s not just the golddiggers. It’s the power and status that comes with wealth which turns them on.

So how can you make more money to reignite her interest?

Let’s first start with what doesn’t work:

  1. Working more janitor jobs
  2. Buying another lemonade stand 
  3. Saving up money to seem wealthy for an Instagram photoshoot

So what do I recommend? I recommend you build an online business using The Fast Tracks Webinar by Merlin Holmes

[adinserter block="2"]

And why do I recommend that?

  1. All the webinar is free, so it won’t take much to get started
  2. Once you build your business, you have time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do (jet skiing, learn krav maga, etc.)
  3. You can do this from anywhere in the world
  4. You can create an online business about anything you love
  5. Once you build the foundation, the income is mostly passive

Anyways, there you have my recommendation so go check out the webinar if you have time.

7. Build More Muscle

What do you think will catch her interest… this:

Skinny men have a harder time attracting uninterested girls

Or this?

Muscular men have an easier time attracting uninterested girls

The latter, of course. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, being skinny isn’t good enough. You gotta build muscle. Read: The 9 Biological Reasons Why Girls Like Muscles 

8. Dress better

If you’ve been dressing like this, it’s no wonder she doesn’t like you:

She won't like you again if you dress badly

Why not upgrade your style to something like this?

Dress like a handsome man
  • Dress like you respect yourself.
  • Dress like you’re ready to take on the world
  • Dress like you f*ck multiple women

Read more: Devilishly Attractive: 19 Transformative Techniques To Look More Masculine & Tough 

9. Be Busy With Work

I want you to be so busy becoming an attractive man (making money, going to the gym, upgrading your style, etc. ) that you don’t even have time to obsess about her. 

be so hard at work that you don't have time to obsess about her

Be so hard at work that you don't have time to obsess about her

It goes without saying that you don’t tell her that you're self-improving as that would signal extreme neediness and have the exact opposite effect! Your improving for yourself, not for her.

10. Notice If Her Interest Rises

At this point I want you to take a little break from self-improvement and simply notice her interest is rising. Here are some things you want to look out for:

  1. She randomly hits you up on social media 
  2. She seductively plays with her hair around you
  3. She play fights with you
  4. She teases you in a playful way 
  5. She’s always touching you even when it’s not called for
  6. She’s using any other covert techniques get your attention, full list here: 24 Subtle Techniques To Get Any Guy To Notice You & 5 Common Mistakes You Must Avoid

If you see these signs, great! Continue with her and she’ll be 100% yours very soon. If you don’t, there’s a good chance you may never get her back. However this doesn't mean you can’t continue with the following steps! Just take it slow; you don’t want her to accuse you of being too aggressive. 

Signs that you're starting to gain her interest again

11. Make Her Jealous

We’ve reset the relationship and became attractive with self-improvement. Now it’s time to actively seduce her using jealousy… and by that I mean:

  1. Making lots of female “friends”
  2. Teasing prettier girls while she’s around you
  3. Having other girls flirt with you around your crush 
  4. Start seducing her close friends or better yet, her sister (Read: 17 steps to seduce, manipulate and control girls
  5. Mention to her how random girls have been chatting you up and giving you compliments (you can even say how “annoying” and “weird” it makes you feel
  6. Have tons of fun with another girl (example below) and nonchalantly tell her all about it
have fun and flirt with another girl to make her jealous

You’ve flipped the script: now she’s chasing you to steal you for herself. Read: Get Girls To Chase You: 14 Techniques I Use [With Examples] | DatingArmory.com 

[adinserter block="4"]

12. Tease Her

Instead of teasing, most articles tell you to compliment her and make her feel all sorts of love and comforting emotions. Take this example from HerWay.net

Example of bad dating advice

Example of bad dating advice

However, that is bad advice and let me explain why: 

The reason why she lost interest in the first place was not because you weren’t being nice enough, but because you were being too nice AKA Mr. Nice Guy™. You were too boring and she didn’t feel any emotions around you! So by complimenting her and making her feel good, you just make the problem worse and sooner than later, she’ll tell you to get lost and stop stalking her. Understand that I am not against complimenting girls, but this is not the time for that!

Ok, so what should you do at this point? Tease her. 


  1. She says something ridiculous, push her away teasingly.
  2. She’s cooking food for her, smack her butt while looking at the food and maybe even stealing some before it ready
  3. Pull on her hair teasingly (be careful tho)
  4. Through your old socks at her (just be though, some old socks can be deadly and must be disposed of with caution)
  5. (I used to this with my younger brothers and sisters) Pick her up and tell her that you’re gonna throw her out the window or put her in the garbage 

Get about 1,372 more examples by following the steps laid out in this comprehensive guide: The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny] | DatingArmory.com

13. Do Not Be Friendly 

As evil as it sounds, you need to root out all friendly behaviours otherwise you’ll fall right back into the friend zone and good luck with that. 

Here are some examples: 

  1. Do not help her with studies (say she’s from Russia and needs help with your English)
  2. Do not help her move across town
  3. Stop offering her random gifts 
  4. Stop telling her how much you’ve been thinking about her
  5. Do not ask to hang out with her as a friend, either your dating or not

You don’t have to follow my advice, but don’t get angry when she treats you like a friend and won’t touch your dick. Do be afraid to summon your inner bad boy and be her lover. 

[adinserter block="2"]

14. Do Not Give Away Your Attention

As mentioned, you want to be busy improving yourself. But even when you have time for her, never give away your attention like your time doesn't mean anything to you. 

Remember, if you give it all away, there will be nothing to chase after! (More on this, here: Get Girls To Chase You: 14 Techniques I Use [With Examples] | DatingArmory.com

15. Reward Her With Compliments 

I’m afraid to say, here’s another piece of advice most bloggers won’t dare talk about because it’s not NICE™, but you gotta realize that dating is dirty and in order to win the game, you gotta play rough!

So what does it mean to “Reward her with compliments”? 

It means that when she acts right you give her a compliment/ ego boost and when she acts like a b*tch, you unapologetically tell her that her behaviour is unacceptable. 

And unlike what most guys will tell you, this actually raises her respect for you which automatically makes her love you more! So go find your balls, glue them back on and try it, the response you get will blow you away.

16. Reinitiate Sexual Contact 

Now that you’ve reset the relationship, become attractive and re-engaged with her, It’s time to have sex!

Here are the 8 *basic* steps to sexually escalate:

  1. Introduce sexual innuendo into your texting, e.g. “Please try to be a little more discreet about trying to seduce me”, “Girls seduce me best while touching me, you won’t get far by just texting me”, “Seduce me later, I’ve got to get back to work”
  2. Take her out on a good date. This does not mean expensive food! This means taking her out to the local park and having a shit ton of fun while being able to touch her, creating that emotional connection
  3. Bounce her to another venue, say a bar. Have a small drink. (This makes her feel like you’ve spent more time together while giving you more opportunities to make out...)
  4. Makeout with her.
  5. Take her home with the excuse that you need to feed your dog/ show her some painting/ play her a song on your guitar
  6. Take it very slow at the beginning. Do not rush this part. Go to the bathroom, cook her something small, whatever, just don’t rush!
  7. As she’s sitting next to you on the couch or bed, start making out
  8. As things get heated up, take off her clothing and get down to business

As I said, these are the basics, you learn a lot more by getting The Tao of Badass Program we talked about earlier

you need to go from being disinterested to having sex with her again

17. Do Not Be Vulnerable 

You’ve had sex, but you don’t want her to lose interest again! So how can you be sure that she continues to be your lover? 

Do Not Be Vulnerable 

Yes, I said it! A girl’s lizard brain wants a man, not some dude who’s gonna share emotions and cry on her shoulder.

Do Not Be Vulnerable around your girl otherwise she won't like you

Do not mistake this with repressing emotions! I am very much against that, if you need to cry, either do it alone or with a friend because if you do it with your girlfriend, her biological firmware is programmed to lose all respect for you (don’t be angry, it’s not her fault).

18. Do Not Be Her Emotional Tampon

On the flip side, you should not become her 24/7 shoulder to cry/complain on AKA emotional tampon. Remember, as soon as she feels 100% comfortable with you, the relationship is over. Tension is what keeps any relationship moving.

[adinserter block="3"]

19. Use Cocky-Funny 

In my article about teasing (The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny]), I have an entire section about what Cocky Funny is and how to apply it. If you have the time, go read the full guide, but for now, here’s the TL;DR

  1. When she’s complaining about something stupid start singing a ridiculous song over and over “if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands..” - make sure she’s clapping with you
  2. Give her a backhanded compliment: You have some scary, intense eyes. My dick is confused. 
  3. Staring at her with a funny face while totally ignoring her protests
  4. Make an observation by saying "your dress looks like a present" if she has some weird bow in the back and you think it’s funny. (She may even let you unwrap the present later!)
  5. Put an apple in the middle of her ass as she’s lying down (using her sexuality for your own pleasure and entertainment)

Again, we’re dipping into a huge subject here, so you’ll have to read my full guide to teasing and Cocky Funny to understand all the nuances: The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny] | DatingArmory.com 

20. Take Her On Emotional Rollercoasters

If you took her out to the park or the bar for you first dates, try exciting date venues that’ll fill her with all sorts of intense emotions:

  1. Take her to an amusement park
  2. Scary hike in the woods
  3. Go to a haunted house (or an abandoned house)
  4. Build a small wooden boat together
  5. Role play in public 
  6. Dirt biking (pictured below)
  7. Use a remote control vibrator in public 
  8. Get more ideas here: What to do on a Date: 49 Creative Things to do | DatingArmory.com 
Go on adrenaline filled dates

I’ll say it again and again, until the day I die: the moment things get boring, she’s on her way out!


We’ve gone through the 4 core elements of attracting a girl that doesn’t like you:

  1. Resetting the relationship
  2. Becoming an attractive man 
  3. Re-engaging with her
  4. Cementing the new relationship

But that doesn’t mean you stop learning! No one ever stops learning, so here’s what I recommend you check out next: 39 Underused Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Happy That Actually Work | DatingArmory.com 

Good luck,

Colt Smith

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

56+ Affirmations To Attract Women: Manifest Love

The Blueprint: 29+ Steps to be the Bad Boy

13 Proven Steps To Develop More Confidence With Women

17 Exclusive Steps to Be More Masculine