Alpha Male vs Beta Male: The 10 Core Differences

They say whoever asks “am I an alpha male?” is a confirmed beta male, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about the differences between an alpha male and a beta male.

I mean, what really separates an alpha male to a beta male?

But before we put alpha’s and beta’s head to head and discover all 10 differences, I will tell you what it’ll all boil down to:

A beta male cannot accept his own masculinity and therefore, he tries to act like a girl, becoming a dysfunctional man in the process.

Alpha males stop trying to be perfect, accept their own masculinity, therefore allowing all their natural masculine body language and character traits to be fully expressed.

alpha male vs beta male

In other words, alpha males are men who allow themselves to be men. 

And men that can fully express their masculinity are called alpha males.

Don’t be the beta male that can’t live with himself, always trying to be something or someone else.

Anyways, let’s get into the different beliefs, behaviors and mindsets that separate alpha and beta males:

1. Follower vs Leader

If you want to know how to please a girl the answer is: become a leader. Girls love men that hold positions of power and know how to create a following.

Men that hold positions of power are called alpha males, they are committed to their ideals.

They will do exactly what they think is right without any hesitation. 

They focus on the solution instead of complaining about the problem.

On the other hand, the beta males cannot commit to any ideals, they are OK with being mediocre and that’s exactly why they can’t be leaders.

Even when a beta male tries to be a leader, no one wants to follow him because he can’t command anyone’s respect.

2. Ambitious vs boring

In my post about 10 Things Girls Like About Guys I explain that girls are sexually attracted to guys who are ambitious because ambition is an alpha male trait.

Being ambitious simply means you have a life.

It means you wake up in the morning feeling excited, you know that you’ve got a great day ahead of you.

Beta males play video games all day and don’t have anything to look forward to. They do the bare minimum in life to get by.

Don’t be like that, be the ambitious alpha male. Wake up in the morning excited. 

Try building a business and make some money! 

Of course you’ll need a mentor to start a business and that’s why you need to follow John Crestani. This guy is the master of making a passive online income.

Lucky for you I’ve found his 2 hour long video explaining everything you’ll need to get started and I’m hoping that it’s still free of charge. 

Follow what he does, but be ready to work hard for the first 5-6 months.

But remember the goal isn’t to make money, the goal is to become the ambitious alpha male.

3. Irrational vs Rational 

We only get to see who’s truly an alpha male in chaotic situations. When life seems overwhelming we can see who let’s their emotions get control of them.

Alpha males never let emotions get the best of them. They stay rational when the beta male loses his mind frantically trying to find a solution.

The alpha male can use his rational mind to think of strategies to solve problems, but because the beta male lets his emotions take over he cannot think rationally.

This means that you have 2 choices: be emotional or be rational.

As a man you must choose being rational over emotional. That’s what makes you an alpha, that’s what makes people respect you.

You must continually put yourself in chaotic situations and force yourself to improve every single day.

Learn how to approach girls, for most guys that’s more than enough fear to deal with.

If that’s too much for you, go watch John Crestani in his 2 hour long video to start your money making machine and follow his steps 💲💰.

That’ll be enough work for you and you will definitely become an ambitious alpha male in the process.

Don’t settle for the life of a beta male by letting your life be run by emotions. [1, 2]

4. Guilty vs badass

Being a badass is 100% a bad boy character trait.

Being a badass is exactly what I talk about in How To Be The BAD BOY In 15 INSANELY EFFECTIVE WAYS

Alpha males are bad boys times 10. Alpha males take everything to the next level.

They don’t ask permission to be confident, they just are. He just knows how to ask a girl for her number, he never second guesses.

But beta males are nothing like alpha males because they are so dependent on getting instant approval and validation for every human on this earth.

Beta males walk around overwhelmed with guilt never allowing themselves to go after what they want.

They’ve tranquilized their inner lion becoming weak “stickmen.”

Don’t be like that. Let your inner badass reveal itself to the world. If people don’t like it, it’s too bad for them!

See the value that you bring to the world and get the relationships you deserve. Stop making yourself feel like a guilty beta male.

Walk around like you deserve everything. Learn seduction and become the natural pickup artist.

5. Friend zone vs dating 

First of all, what is the friend zone? Here’s the complete definition:

“When a girl decides that you’re just her friend because you don’t exude the traits of an alpha male to sexually attract her while you think that being a beta male provider will get you laid.”

The alpha male makes girls completely stimulated in the most horny and freaky ways because he exudes the hyper masculine alpha traits. 

He can’t get into the friend zone even if he tries! All the girls go crazy just thinking about him.

He demonstrates determination, alpha male body language, dominance, and confidence in the most unapologetic ways.

But beta males are the complete opposite.

They are always trying to get out of the friend zone, when they don’t even know how to avoid it in the first place!

They display such pathetic social skills, can’t accept their masculinity or be dominant that girls are forced to stick them right in the friend zone.

If you are in a situation like this, go learn social skills, learn how to have cool conversations and what makes girls wet.

This is all learnable.

Sure, you are going to go through a learning curve, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. 

6. Innocent vs corrupted

When I say that alpha males are corrupted I don’t mean that they are evil because obviously there are many good alpha males.

What I mean is that alpha males allow themselves to explore everything in life which makes them so great, but also exposes them to dark, evil ideas.

After seeing all this evil, alpha males lose all their youthful innocence. If that’s good or bad, that’s your choice.

On the other hand, beta males have been sheltered their whole life, never seeing what this whole world is really about.

They haven’t seen enough to know what reality is. They haven’t seen injustice, madness, or destruction.

They are still stuck in their fantasy world. 

If they even suffer from any challenges they continue to believe that mommy or daddy will come help them.

A beta male might turn 40, but emotionally he’s still living like a 5 year old.

The beta male finishes his life with feelings of intense guild, remorse, but more so regret. These are the same feelings that motivate the alpha male to live his adventurous life.

7. Impressing vs impressed

As mentioned, the beta male is desperate for approval from everyone. 

He’s literally terrified of rejection which is why he constantly wonders “how can I impress girls?

But because he’s so desperate to impress everyone, especially girls, no one likes him. His neediness kills all potential love.

He has no idea how to stop becoming needy with every girl he gets which leads every girl to eventually leave him in disgust.

Contrarily, the alpha male loves and accepts himself to such a degree that he doesn’t need every girl’s approval.

Sure, being loved always feels good, but his identity isn’t dependent on being appreciated.

In addition, the alpha male knows how to be attractive to women and gain the trust of men. He’s essentially the social animal.

Everyone gets along with him and everyone wants to be his friend.

This all sounds great, but you must understand how many rejections each and every alpha male went through in order to get to where they are now.

There is no easy path and that’s why beta males stay beta. 

8. Physically weak vs strong

This contrast isn’t true to all alpha’s and beta’s, but use this as a general rule.

Generally speaking alpha males have stronger, bulkier bodies. They go to the gym more often.

Although the ego can be a reason to go to the gym, I believe the real reason has to do with the male hormone: testosterone.

Studies show that acting in masculine ways will make your body produce more testosterone. No one acts more masculine than alpha males, therefore they have the highest levels of testosterone.

And those levels of testosterone make each alpha male crave working out. Testosterone makes them desire big muscles.

Beta males have very low levels of testosterone because they don’t allow themselves to act in masculine ways therefore, they have no drive to go to the gym.

9. Nice vs kind

There’s a great book call No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover and here’s something he wrote that really stuck with me:

Just about everything a “Nice Guy” does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone’s approval or to avoid disapproval.

Beta males are the ultimate nice guys. 

Besides for always trying to impress everyone, they act nice and sacrifice themselves even when they don’t care, just to gain approval.

The idea of getting rejected horrifies beta males so much that they’d rather bend over backwards to serve everyone else than do what truly makes them happy.

Being “nice” is why most beta males live their life full of anger and resentment towards society.

Alpha males couldn’t be more different. 

Alpha males have authentic relationships because they don’t care about being rejected. They don’t go crazy trying to win everyone’s approval.

But it also means that:

  • When they compliment anyone they mean it.
  • When they show gratitude they mean it.
  • When they do someone a favor they are doing it out of love.

This is called being kind. You are kind when you help others because you want to. Being nice means you help others just to gain their approval.

Being nice is disgusting. Being kind is beautiful.

Be the alpha male, be kind. 


10. Reliable vs thrilling

Remember how we talked about “ambitious vs boring” and that alpha males have a life? Well this is taking it to the next level.

Beta males might also work very hard everyday, even finding excitement in what they are doing, but once they reach their goal, it’s over.

Beta males hate taking risks and love keeping their job at corporate for 40 years till they retire. This makes them super reliable, but alpha males never settle in life.

Alpha males will work long hours for years at a time building a multi-million dollar business only to take big risks just to take it to the next level.

Alpha males live thrilling lives. Nothing is good enough for them because for alpha males it’s not about the money, it’s about the growth.

But like I said, beta males are super reliable. You chose what’s better for you, although I do believe you’ll feel happier if you live the thrilling life.


Everything comes down to what we spoke about in the very beginning:

Alpha males stop trying to be perfect, accept their own masculinity, therefore allowing all their natural masculine body language and character traits to be fully expressed.

It’s about self-love and self-acceptance.

The beta male doesn’t love himself and believes that he cannot be loved. He never gets the relationships that he wants.

He does not live a good life.

Which is why I encourage you to start getting your life together, become an alpha male!

If you need help, invest in the course that I recommended earlier in this post and start working. 

You won’t see instant results, but with months and years of consistent work – you will transform yourself. Do the work that beta males can’t.

Your friend, 

Colt Smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

56+ Affirmations To Attract Women: Manifest Love

The Blueprint: 29+ Steps to be the Bad Boy

13 Proven Steps To Develop More Confidence With Women

17 Exclusive Steps to Be More Masculine