If you really want to make a heavy upgrade to your masculinity be prepared to make sacrifices
Do what you fear doing every day
Yah’ being masculine isn’t as sexy Hollywood makes it. Being masculine is a lot of work every single day for the rest of your life. You are only becoming more masculine while your bleeding and sweating working to reach your goals, not while your watching TV and driving a super sports car.
You need to start doing anything you fear doing, challenge your fears. Go talk to some hot girls, ask them out on a date. Maybe you need to get over your fear of rejection by practicing rejection therapy.
Rejection therapy means that you do things around people that would guarantee your rejection from other people. Walk on the street backwards, start talking to yourself on the train. Jia Jiang did 100 days of intense rejection therapy, he recorded and uploaded everything on YouTube this made him super popular and eventually gave a TED talk that got over 2 million views. He talks about how rejection therapy has totally changed his life in every way, watch him for inspiration and go do it!
At the beginning rejection therapy will seem impossible to do, but if you take things slow at the start and you have friends that support you rejection therapy will take you very far. Read my article on rejection therapy and if you take action I can assure you that every part of your life will drastically improve.
This will peel off layers of your ego so that your true masculinity can come out. By doing this you will also stop being needy around women and trying to get their approval, which will actually make you a wildly attractive man in return.
Maybe you can also meet your fears by doing some risky business choices. Taking risks and keeping inner peace is what makes any man a real man and the only way to start is to begin dipping into your fears. Do anything that you fear. Start today.
Don’t live with your parents
Stop waiting for everyone to help you get up. Only you will make you great, and if you have your parents supporting you than you will stay in that weak mindset. Get off your butt and support yourself, I know it will be challenging but you must cultivate that self-belief. Leave your house and be self-reliant. Get out and move.
Have a powerful masculine ritual
Learn kick-boxing or martial arts and fight often. Being masculine means that you are aggressive (in a constructive way, not destructive) and you need to bring it out by fighting. Working out like this will also make you look more masculine physically.
This will also supercharge the amount of testosterone in your bloodstream. For those who don’t know testosterone is the hormone of sex and aggression, that means that by building your testosterone will also boost your sex life. Kill 2 big birds with one masculine punch.
Find your purpose
Masculinity is about being goal driven and focused. You need to find a worthy goal for yourself and take full responsibility. This will make you come alive.
You must make sure your purpose comes to fruition, your purpose must be on you and only you.
Men that are left without responsibility and purpose become depressed and go to alcohol and drugs to alleviate some of their suffering.
Every man needs a purpose and the greater the purpose the greater the man.
Ask yourself “when have I felt the most fulfilled” and find out what made those moments so fulfilling and make that your purpose.
You must first know exactly at what level you are. If you really want to know take the free The Passion Test and you will see exactly where you are so you know where you need to go. You need to know where you are and where you are heading in order for you to reach your purpose. If you don’t know where you are currently at how can you set your “inner GPS” to take you anywhere?
You must make sure that your purpose challenges you so that you think “I am not sure if I can do this.” This is when you know you know that you have found your purpose, it can’t be obvious to you that you will make it and that you might give up, but that fear is what men live for.
Your purpose must be about taking suffering out of people’s lives and possibly bringing them to pleasure. This will make the suffering that you go through in life worth it, I recommend you watch Jordan Peterson on “Life Is Suffering” if you want to take this concept deeper.
Have a [real] men meet up.
In one of the best books of all time on masculinity, The Way of The Superior Man, David Dieda says that men need to have time with other men, this will allow all of the men to really feed of each others powerful masculine energy and grow their masculinity.
You need to find your own group of guys that will not take any bullshit and are dedicated in fulfilling their purpose and responsibilities.
Have a meet up every so often and you will be shocked at clarity and focus that floods you.
Now David Dieda also says that men need to have time in solitude by themselves. This helps them see everything going on in their lives objectively without distraction or noise. So it’s really about striking a balance. Being alone doesn’t mean that you are lonely, it means that you need time for yourself. Leave your house, maybe go the forest and most importantly leave your cell phone behind, just go out for one hour and feel very deeply.
Don’t think or worry about random things going on in your life, this is time for you only. So enjoy it, breathe in the beautiful nature and allow everything pent up inside of you out. Take in the coolness and just breathe. This is a very good healing process for the broken man these days and unfortunately for men, society attacks the man for being masculine.
This is not the complete guide that about building more masculinity because that would require me to write a book, but thankfully there is already a powerful book written by a man called The Way of The Superior Man by David Dieda. The chapters are brief yet precise which makes it easy to understand and take action. If you are like me and you have had a rough childhood, you will learn how to forgive your past so that you don’t carry that pain and anger with you everywhere. This is a must read for any man that wants to live out his purpose with an open heart.
I also recommend you read 2 other blogs that have lots of clarity about building more authentic masculinity.
I wish you the best in becoming the best version of yourself