17 Exclusive Steps to Be More Masculine

In the next 5 minutes you’ll know exactly how to be more masculine, but first, here’s why being more masculine is critical to your happiness:

If you take consistent action on the 17 steps I’m about to share with you, you’ll be drowning in pussy, cash and happiness within 3 years!

1. Maintain a masculine frame

Let’s start with asking the obvious question: what is the core of masculinity?

Answer: “holding your frame”. 

Let's break it down, what does “frame” mean?

Frame is your subjective interpretation of the events that happen around you. 

Frame is important because it influences our behavior and can create powerful positive or negative feedback loops. All frames are equally subjective; frames are good or bad only in the sense that they move us closer to or further away from our goals [1].

So what does it mean to “hold your frame”?

By holding your frame, you cannot be manipulated, rattled or confused. You do not lose your view of reality. The idea of holding frame is being in control of your emotions and not letting things get to you [2]

It's keeping the mindset of: This is how I think, this is how I behave, these are the principles I live my life by - regardless of attempts of breaking my frame.

Other words for holding frame are: composure, countenance, equanimity, mental strength [3].

Here’s a perfect example of holding frame:

We’ll revisit this subject soon, but for now, here are some tips to create and hold a strong frame:

The less reactive and goofy you are, the more masculine you’ll seem. 

2. Talk in a masculine way

I have a full-length guide about this exact topic: 48 Proven Methods To Talk More Clearly, Confidently And Slowly [+ Sound More Masculine].

But I understand that most guys don't have time to read that much, so here's - in short - how you must talk to project your true masculinity:

Talking in a masculine way takes consistent practice over a long period of time, so here’s what I recommend you do:

Pick the one aspect that challenges you the most and work on it exclusively, otherwise you risk getting overwhelmed and getting no results.

Related guide: 17 Steps to Seduce Girls [& Countless Examples]

3. Do masculine things

Doesn’t need any explanation, pick one or two of these masculine hobbies/ skills and master them:

1. Biking 
2. Bodybuilding - Read this next article when you get a chance: 29 Concrete Steps To Approaching & Talking To Girls At The Gym [With Examples]
3. Ice skating
4. Rugby
5. Mountain biking
6. Surfing
7. Basketball
8. Skydiving/ wingsuit flying/ bungy jumping/ base jumping
9. Mountain climbing and rappelling
10. Brewing 
11. Parkour 
12. Fencing 
13. Chopping wood
14. Fixing cars and stuff
15. Build homes
16. Martial arts/ MMA [4]

By the way, girls will get wet watching you do any one of these things as explained by Coach Red Pill 'Women Love Watching You Do Stuff'

And because you’re just starting your journey to masculinity, here’s a list of things to avoid:

1. Modeling
2. Bowling 
3. Singing
4. Gardening 
5. Running
6. Painting 
7. Photography
8. Sewing 
9. Dealing with pets
10. Writing
11. Cooking 
12. Yoga [5, 6]

4. Be with other masculine men

We all know the line: show me your friends and I’ll show you your future, and it applies to our topic just like any other.

Hang out with feminine guys that jerk off the porn 3 times a day, you’ll look like a dysfunctional man in a year’s time.

Hang out with arrogant alpha males, total jerks who don’t give a f*ck about anyone else. I mean real assholes… 

And guess what? You’ll be more cocky, tough and masculine then you’ve ever been before.

Why?

Because your new alpha male friends will naturally tease you about everything which will force you to develop thick skin i.e. strong frame i.e. masculinity. (Also, you should be teasing girls: The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny].)

But at all costs, do not spend your time with girls no matter how good it feels. You must make male friends.

5. Follow your purpose

As mentioned, one of the core ingredients to masculinity is having a set purpose. 

In The Way of The Superior Man, David Deida talks extensively about finding and following your purpose:

...the masculine priority is purpose and direction...

Your mission is your priority. Unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner.

And as Jordan Peterson explains (in the following video), without a purpose you cannot hold your frame, feel fulfilled or achieve success.

Although I can’t tell you what your purpose is, here are some tips to discovering yours:

1. Talk to new people and learn about what makes them tick
2. Travel around to different countries and cultures until you find something that turns your crank
3. What puts you “in the zone” (A.K.A. the state of flow) where you don’t seem to experience the passing of time (e.g. surfing, writing, etc.)
4. What would you love to do, but are terrified to even try once (i.e. skydiving, approaching women, etc.)
5. What fulfilling thing would you be doing if you had one last day to live?
6. What you’d like to be remembered for?

Here are signs that you’ve found your true purpose:

1. Working on your purpose is intrinsically pleasurable, not just the result
2. Working on your purpose will place you in chaotic situations
3. Achieving your purpose gives you more freedom
4. Achieving your purpose gives you more power
5. Achieving your purpose improves not only your life, but the lives of the people around you too
6. Achieving your purpose will set you apart from average men

Find what you want and honor that desire. Always do what brings you joy. [7]

Read this long-ass-kinda-related guide - 27 Stupidly-Obvious Ways To Become An Attractive Man & Attractive To Girls - thnx.

6. Receive pleasure from your hard work

Stop getting pleasure from things you haven’t worked for:

1. Porn
2. Movies
3. Video games
4. Drugs
5. Food
6. Music

Stop your escapism, take responsibility for your life and find meaning in your inevitable suffering.

Here’s how Jordan Peterson explains it:

Here’s a quote from The Way of The Superior Man by David Deida that explains this idea beautifully:

Austerity means to eliminate the comforts and cushions in your life that you have learned to snuggle into and lose wakefulness. 

Take away anything that dulls your edge. 

No newspapers or magazines. 

No TV. 

No candy, cookies, or sweets. 

No sex. 

No cuddling. 

No reading of anything at all while you eat or sit on the toilet. Reduce working time to a necessary minimum. 

No movies. 

No conversation that isn't about truth, love, or the divine.

If you take on these disciplines for a few weeks, as well as any other disciplines that may particularly cut through your unique habits of dullness, then your life will be stripped of routine distraction. 

All that will be left is the edge you have been avoiding by means of your daily routine. 

You will have to face the basic discomfort and dissatisfaction that is the hidden texture of your life. 

You will be alive with the challenge of living your truth, rather than hiding from it.

Unadorned suffering is the bedmate of masculine growth. 

Only by staying intimate with your personal suffering can you feel through it to its source. By putting all your attention into work, TV, sex, and reading, your suffering remains unpenetrated, and the source remains hidden. 

Your life becomes structured entirely by your favorite means of sidestepping the suffering you rarely allow yourself to feel.

And when you do touch the surface of your suffering, perhaps in the form of boredom, you quickly pick up a magazine or the remote control.

Instead, feel your suffering, rest with it, embrace it, make love with it. Feel your suffering so deeply and thoroughly that you penetrate it, and realize it's fearful foundation.

Here are ways to practice austerity:

1. Severely limiting all the things mentioned above (porn, movies, video games, drugs, food, music)
2. Semen retention (NoFap)
3. Cold showers
4. Meditation
5. Deep breathing
6. Practice living in reality without letting your imagined fantasies take over your mind

You know why this is crucial to becoming a tough, masculine man so there’s no need to explain.

7. Workout every day

You don’t need to jog. 

You don’t need to do yoga. 

You need to lift heavy weights because your goal is to be more masculine.

Here are just some of the benefits of lifting weights:

1. You’ll look more masculine because of your noticeable muscles - do I have to remind you to read 29 Concrete Steps To Approaching & Talking To Girls At The Gym [With Examples]?
2. You’ll feel more confident (again, because of your noticeable muscles)
3. You’ll lose weight
4. You’ll sleep better
5. You’ll think clearer
6. You’ll feel more energetic 

Head to the gym and workout daily. And of course, diet is a big part too so you can’t forget about that either!

Have you read this guide yet? Warning it's long and has lots of pics: How To Touch A Girl: 47 Smooth Techniques [Pictures Included]

8. Maintain masculine body language 

Obviously, women are sexually attracted to masculine men. 

However, unlike femininity, masculinity is not easily spotted which is why you need to do everything you can to seem more masculine.

But how can you be seen as more masculine? Maintain alpha male body language.

1. Never make erratic movements
2. Lift your chin up
3. Keep your chest up
4. Relax your shoulders
5. Don’t be playing with your hands, lips, hair, etc. 
6. Don’t hug yourself, instead let your arms hang by your sides in a relaxed manner
7. Smile occasionally (anyone who’s smiling all the time cannot be taken seriously)
8. Have focused eyes conveying your presence
9. Walk in a purposeful, yet relaxed manner
10. Let your body take up room 

In general, get that alpha male look and girls will instantly respond to you.

 Read also: Alpha Male Body Language: The Dominance And Power

9. Dress in a masculine way

Masculine body language is good, but why not put it together with dressing in a masculine way so that you exude massive amounts of masculinity?

Here are just some ideas:

1. Grow a beard
2. Wear a suit (it makes you look put together)
3. Avoid colorful clothing
4. Wear a rugged looking watch
5. Wear a rugged looking clothing (if the environment calls for it)

There is definitely an element of “fake it till you make it” and that’s fine. But make no mistake, no piece of clothing can make you masculine.

Masculinity comes from the inside i.e. from holding a strong frame

10. Seduce girls into bed

Practicing seduction is arguably one of the best ways to train your masculinity because ultimately, your masculinity is what seduces a girl and makes her horny.

But I’m not talking about getting a girl to marry you or getting a long term girlfriend (which is good too: 55 Tried-And-True Steps To Get A Girlfriend At Middle, High School And College).

I’m talking about seducing 19 year olds, f*cking their tight pussies and making them cum so hard their legs shake.

Do you know how to do that?

If you’re like most guys you’re probably clueless about the art of seducing women, such as:

1. Using the power of stealthy touch to create instant emotional connection
2. Using your body language to induce arousal 
3. Text game
4. Creating rejection-proof mindsets
5. Using the select social skills that make girls wet

But there’s good news too: you don’t need to stay average if you take the following 2 steps:

1. Take consistent action with the hottest, most confident girls
2. Study The Stealth Seduction System [free of charge] to learn all of those seduction skills previously mentioned

And I want you to know something:

Getting good with women and improving your masculinity only needs to be as painful as you make it. 

And trust me when I say this: by watching The Stealth Seduction System, you’ll save yourself years of work and avoid a lot of unnecessary suffering. 

11. Read the best books about masculinity

Here’s my list of the top books to learn the core principles of masculinity:

1. The Red Pill Handbook [copyright free]
2. The Book of Pook [copyright free]
3. The Way of Men by Jack Donovan
4. The Red Pill by Rollo Tomassi (his first book in 'The Rational Male' series is a must read for every man)
5. The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
6. Sperm Wars by Robin Baker
7. The Way of The Superior Man by David Deida
8. No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover (another must read classic)
9. Street Hustle by Tom Torero (RIP)
10. Daygame Mastery & Daygame Infinite by Nick Krauser

These are all excellent books written by great men, however I suggest you pick one book and read it multiple times to let it sink into your subconscious before moving onto the next book.

Reading multiple books at once will only overwhelm you.

12. Find a masculine mentor

Just like any complex skill, learning true masculinity requires a real life mentor because books can’t teach you everything. 

You need someone you can talk to and ask questions when you feel lost (you will feel lost at times).

However, finding the right mentor is difficult and it usually takes time, so in the meantime, here are some excellent online mentors:

1. Rollo Tomassi
2. Coach Red Pill 
3. Honest Signalz
4. Rian Stone
5. Entrepreneurs in Cars
   

There’s one big problem that you’ll quickly run into: overload.

What do I mean by “overload”?

Simple, besides for all the books you’ll be reading, every single one of these channels has 100’s of videos and 1000’s of hours of content. 

This is too much for your brain to process, you’ll be learning so much, so fast that you’ll freeze up and take zero action i.e. overload.

That’s why I highly recommend you get yourself a simple, yet effective system to learn masculinity, seduce girls and success in life.

For now try The Stealth Seduction System as it covers every one of those areas and there’s a free intro video… So what do you have to lose? Go watch it now!

13. Be masculine in your relationships

Previously we’ve covered seducing girls into bed, now we’re talking about how to be masculine in your relationships and that starts by holding your frame even when you’re being challenged with a shit test.

Pass her shit tests

First of all, what are shit tests and what are their purposes? 

Here’s how the illimitablemen explains it:

Why are they called shit tests? 

Well when somebody “gives you shit” and f*cks with your head to see how you will react, what you are experiencing is typically a (series of) shit test(s).

Everyone has been shit tested, gets shit tested and will continue to be shit tested; It’s an unavoidable part of human interaction. 

We use shit tests to make value judgements about people, likewise they can be used to determine how people cope under pressure. 

The underlying mechanism of shit tests is to test your mettle. Hence the name is not only fitting, but likewise, accurate...

Shit tests are used to “determine your frame.” Frame is a concept which essentially means “composure and self-control...”

...If you can keep composure/seem unfazed and/or assert your boundaries despite a shit test, generally speaking you will be considered to have passed the shit test. 

If you get upset, offended, doubt yourself or show weakness in any discernible way when shit tested, it will be generally considered that you failed the test.

Here are 4 examples of passing a shit test and maintaining your frame:

Example #1

She says: you’re a player

Your response:

maybe, come find out

You don’t know half of it

Trying to make yourself sound innocent? I’ve been there too

Why would I hide it? Doesn’t take much to get you anyways

I’ve just met you! Don’t bring up sex too quickly!

You’ve had a rough history with guys, I’m sorry to hear that

Nah, I’m actually a virgin. I’m saving myself for marriage

How did you know? I play hockey, and I love it! [8]

Example #2

She says: buy me a drink

Your response:

I was just about to ask you the same thing

Only if you dance for me

Sure, want water with or without lemon?

[face the bartender] I’ll have a beer, cup a water for the lady

Will you blow me?

You buy this round, and if I like where this is going, I'll get the next one [9, 10]

Example #3

She says: I have a boyfriend 

Your response:

Of course I don’t want sex, I was thinking we could do something more fun like study philosophy or play a game of monopoly

So do I…

And I have a goldfish 

Oh’ please don’t make me f*ck that cute girl over there with the blue dress

Example #4

She says: I bet you say that line to all girls 

Your response:

Of course I do. You think you're special?

Only if they’ve impressed me 

To cute girls AND cute cats

Only to average girls

What do you mean? I told that to a guy just 5 minutes ago

Yeah, and it works some crazy shit on short girls like you

You’ve fallen for this before, haven’t you?

There is so much more to shit tests, however this article is about masculinity, not shit tests. To learn more about shit tests, read this Reddit post:

Lead the relationship

You must be the one making all the decisions in your relationship.

You must be planning the dates

You must have your own opinions, principles and standards

You must be the one handing out the chores 

You must be the one handing out validation and approval

You must be covering the bills

You must be the one physically leading her through crowds

You must be budgeting your time

You must be taking responsibilities and getting things done (without looking at her for approval)

Get the idea? Be the captain of the ship!

Don’t tolerate anything below your standards

If she doesn’t behave according to your set standards, do not be afraid to let her go.

If she wants to leave for college and have a long term relationship, tell her that she can do what she wants, but if she goes, the relationship is over.

If she wants to start an OnlyFans, don’t even entertain her idea. Ignore her.

If she won’t stop nagging you, tell her that she better shape up or pack up. Let her know that you have options.

If she cheats on you, never get back with her again.

In other words, respect yourself and be proud of your masculinity. If a girl isn’t willing to bend the knee, it’s time for her to make space for a better girl.

By the way, the one way to enforce your standards is by learning how to say no: 59 Moves: How To Tell A Someone You’re Not Interested And Reject A Guy Or Girl [& Countless Examples]

Dominate her physically 

This part is about being masculine in bed:

1. Never abuse or overly abuse your girl. If she says stop, STOP! Always predefine your boundaries with her.
2. You are the one setting the pace and the intensity
3. Hold her down with your brute strength (lying down on her, pinning her to the wall, etc.)
4. Learn how to spank your girl well 
5. Learn how to choke your girl well
6. Get your girl to worship your dick and give you a blowjob
7. Ravish her body (caress her breasts, grab her ass, squeeze her thighs, play with her hair, etc.)
8. Kiss her passionately, everywhere!
9. Learn some advanced BDSM stuff like bondage, gagging, shaming, etc.
10. Never forget about aftercare (cuddling, bringing her food, etc.)

Bottom line: being masculine in a relationship is about dominating every area.

14. Become financially independent 

Another core aspect to masculinity is freedom so it comes to no surprise that financial freedom is something you crave. [11, 12]

No real man wants to live in his moms basement, so here are the basic steps to achieve that:

Step 1: Decide on a goal

As a man, you must be super clear about what you want financially. Here are the type of questions you should be asking yourself:

1. What type of apartment/ house do I want to live in?
2. How many hours do I want to work per day?
3. What type of car/ motorcycle do I want to own? How many?
4. How much time will it take me to reach my goal?

Let yourself visualize your goals and don’t be afraid to think big because if you’re willing to put in the work, your life could transform within 3 years!

Step 2: Find your “why”

Friedrich Nietzsche once famously said: he who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

Why am I telling you this?

Although you could transform your life within 3 years, it’s going to take a lot of sacrifice and inevitably, you’re gonna suffer. [13, 14]

Without a powerful reason to succeed (i.e. a strong why), you’ll forget about your dreams and you’ll return to your average lifestyle.

Ask yourself: why do I care about achieving this goal? 

If you don’t have a why, create a why, for example:

1. You hate seeing your parents living in a broken down apartment and being unable to help
2. You hate relying on your parents for every little thing and you want to feel masculine again
3. You hate being stuck in your city because you can’t afford traveling to any exotic places around the world
4. You don’t want to feel broke 24/7
5. You hate seeing your rich friends doing things you could only dream of doing

As soon as you’ve created a powerful why, you’re ready for the next step.

Step 3: Lower your costs of living

In order to invest your money into whatever business you want to start, you need to have some money in your savings! 

But if you’re always eating out and renting an apartment that eats up ⅔ of your paycheck, how are you gonna have any money left over?

Here’s what you need to do:

1. Plan your monthly budget 
2. Rent a smaller/ cheaper apartment or stay at a friends house
3. Pay all your bills in cash (trust me, this one will make you spend less)
4. Stop eating out and learn how to cook
5. Don’t go to the mall every Saturday! 

With your leftover money, either pay off your debt, or if you have no debt, put it aside because you’re about to start your own business.

Step 4: Find new opportunities

You can become a millionaire selling anything:

• Ice-cream
• Water bottles 
• Condoms

So it’s about choosing what business model works for you and how resourceful you’re willing to be. 

Many men I know, choose affiliate marketing because of its simplicity, low level of risk and passivity. 

Here’s a must watch video by John Crestani explaining how it all works:

To learn more about this business model, here’s the link to John Crestani's online masterclass [free of charge] where he deep dives into succeeding with affiliate marketing.

Note to reader: although he does offer an excellent step-by-step course that I took while getting started, you do not need to buy it. 

Watching his masterclass from beginning to end will be more than enough for you to learn the basics and see results. 

15. Face your fears daily

Facing your fears is the ultimate expression of masculinity because you’re pursuing true, inner freedom.

Here are the 3 basic ways to face your fears on a daily basis:

#1: Rejection therapy

Rejection therapy is reducing the fear of rejection by purposefully putting yourself in situations where you’d expect to get rejected. 

Here are some examples:

1. Ask girls for directions and go the opposite way
2. Insist on returning a coffee that you bought 
3. Doing pushups on a random sidewalk
4. Approach a girl and propose to her 
5. Ask girls for directions for a place you’re right in front of

Here’s Jia Jiang talking about how he used rejection therapy to reclaim his manliness and get rid of irrational fears he held his entire life:

#2: Trying new things

Ask yourself: what things do I want to learn, but are too scared to try? 

Whatever the answer is, do it!

Here are some examples:

1. Practicing public speaking 
2. Doing stand up comedy
3. Singing class
4. Acting class

#3: Follow your purpose

This is the most indirect way of facing your fears and here’s how it works: you follow your purpose and take the necessary action even when you’re afraid, for example:

1. Investing in your business even when there are high risks involved
2. Making that phone call to close a deal even when you’re scared of rejection
3. Working out even when you don’t believe in yourself
4. Approaching cute girls you want to f*ck even when you don’t know if they have a boyfriend

Bottom line: get over all your fears, let your natural masculine essence flow and dominate every area of your life.

16. Raise your levels of testosterone

If masculinity could be a drug, it would be testosterone. [15, 16]

Higher levels of testosterone make you:

1. Feel powerful and energetic 
2. Take more risks
3. Get a high sex drive
4. Grow muscle 
5. Be aggressive
6. Grow facial hair
7. Deeper voice
8. Sleep deeper

So how can you raise your levels of testosterone? Well, it’s a mix of everything:

#1: Eat the right foods

Here’s a list of foods to avoid:

1. Soy based foods (processed meats, canned tuna, premade soups, soy sauce)
2. Excessive alcohol 
3. Mint
4. Processed foods
5. Foods cooked in plastic (certain plastics may include BPA which lowers testosterone) [17, 18]

Here’s what you should eat:

1. Foods with zinc (onions, garlic, beans, crab, avocados)
2. Foods with protein (meat, chicken, eggs, cottage cheese, salmon, Chia seeds)
3. Foods with vitamin D (mushrooms, mackerel, orange juice, fatty fish, beef liver)
4. Food with magnesium (spinach, peanuts, bananas, milk) [19]

#2: Exercise daily 

There is no shortage of studies that prove men who consistently workout (preferably lift weights) have much higher and healthier levels of testosterone.

Bottom line: Get to the gym every day.

#3:  Relax yourself 

Relaxation is one factor many forget about due to our “busy culture.”

However, the truth is that relaxation is the key to producing healthy levels of testosterone:

1. Turn off all electronics 2 hours before bedtime
2. Get 8 hours of sleep every night
3. Spend 3 minutes every morning and night breathing deeply
4. Take a hot shower
5. Drink some nice tea
6. Stretch every day (and especially after each workout)
7. Meditate (doesn’t matter which type)

If you follow these steps, your testosterone levels will be better than 90% of other men. [20]

17. Enjoy solitude

As a real man, you must have the ability to be with yourself and truly enjoy solitude. Without this, you will have the repulsive trait of neediness.

Most men cannot be by themselves without high external stimulations and this is because they haven’t dealt with their past trauma, learned to love themselves and released their parents. 

Here’s how you can practice enjoying solitude:

1. Dedicate a set time every day to be with yourself
2. During that time do not think about solving problems in your life, just be with yourself
3. Only do the most basic things, such as: lying down on a hammock, walking in the forest, taking a long bath, etc.
4. Think of this time as “do nothing time” which means: no eating, social media, exercising, reading, etc.

I understand this is gonna be difficult for the extroverted guys out there, but everyone must have the ability to enjoy time with themselves.

Just because you’re alone, doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

And by the way, you don’t need to read books about solitude, you just need to do it!

Read also: Devilishly Attractive: 19 Transformative Techniques To Look More Masculine & Tough

Summary

I know this has been a long article, but I wanted you to have the ultimate guide to masculinity.

And now it’s up to you: will you take action, see real-world results and rise above 90% of men or will you stay average and moan about how life isn’t going the way you expected?

I hope you choose option number one and work hard to make yourself a superior man so that you live a fulfilling life!

Your friend, 

Mr N