50+ Hot Questions To Ask a Girlfriend

You’ve managed to land a stunning girl that makes your heart flutter every time you see her, but you need to make your relationship deeper that’s why you need to learn the best questions to ask your girlfriend.

You are looking to have the deepest levels of love and trust with her, this will drastically improve your love life. 

With your girlfriend you will get to do all sorts of crazy stuff once your relationship is super deep.

The greatest way to develop a deep, loving relationship with your girlfriend is to get to know her even more deeply. To connect to her emotionally at an even higher level.

Having a one night stand can be great, but you won’t enjoy the deep connection that you get with a girlfriend.

The best way to get to know her better is by asking your girlfriend questions. Here are 50+ questions that will connect you emotionally to her at a much deeper level before.

You want to release as much emotion as possible. Don’t ask “what did you do” or “how was your day” every single time.

You want to make her feel that you understand her at a deep level. These questions will make her fall in love with you.

Table of Contents

1. “Why are men attractive to women?”

This is the age old question, girls know that they’re beautiful and that’s why they are attractive. Men aren’t sure so they try the same by buying the hottest clothing!

Plus a women sexuality is much more fluid and that’s why many women are bisexual, so women understand what’s attractive about women.

But men don’t understand what makes them attractive in the first place! Why not ask her?

You can have a fun and even sexual conversation. [1, 2, 3]

2. “What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive?”

This is a super easy and simple way of continuing the conversation. There is no way both of you won’t stop laughing.

Some girls say that a muscular arm turns them on. Some girls are all about seeing a hairy chest. 

I find it hilarious.

The true answer to the question is: wherever she sees deep, solid masculinity in men. That’s the part that she will find attractive.

Women are about the feeling the man gives them, not their appearance. Just keep in mind that a man’s masculine appearance can have an effect on a woman’s feelings, hence attraction.

3. “If you could run the world what type of leader would you be? Would you secretly want to be an evil queen?”

You can’t just randomly ask her these questions, that will obviously just be awkward. You need to ease yourself into a conversation and slip the question in. 

But once you start talking you can get to know each other’s evil sides.

4. “Who was your childhood crush and why?”

From this question you’ll see who her dream man is and you’ll learn what attracts her. We’ve all had a childhood crush and now you get to find out who was hers.

5. “What was the scariest moment of your life?”

As I mentioned at the beginning, the goal is to connect over emotions. The more emotions the better.

When she starts talking about those terrifying moments, don’t give her any advice, just listen and accept her feelings. Give her a safe place to experience them. [4, 5]

6. “Would you want glasses just for the looks ?”

If she wears glasses ask the opposite. Everyone knows that glasses have become stylish and make most people look better.

Ask her whether having a weaker vision or looking smart and sexy is worth glasses?

This question is also very easy to bring up in any conversation and at basically any time.

7. “How many times did you want to kiss me before we actually kissed me?”

This is a funny one, and slightly embarrassing too. But that just makes it ten times more effective. 

You’ll bring up all sorts of all emotions and in essence you’ll be talking about how much you love each other. This can be a great way to warm up for sex.

8. “What makes you ecstatic” 

This question is not sexual, but you will get to know her dream world. You’ll learn about her deep internal fantasies that we all have.

9. “Who was your closest childhood friend?”

While we were children we were completely connected to our emotions this allowed us to feel incredible joy and love. But as we grew up and experienced painful emotions we closed our hearts.

But those years that we were open to love gave us permission to great deep friendships. This is a treasure trove of emotions. 

Get in there and start digging. Plus there is so much to talk about.

10. “What is an awkward or weird talent/ skill that you have?”

We all have that one thing that we are good at that no one knows anything about. Let her express that part of herself and she will be so grateful to you.

Give her your approval on the weird parts of herself. Now you will be bonded on the weird, normal and crazy parts of yourselves. [6, 7]

11. “What makes you feel hot and sexy?”

I’m assuming you are asking this to your girlfriend, cause unless you are supremely confident with who you are, I wouldn’t ask this on a first date.

Every girl in this world wants to feel super sexy, I don’t care how good looking they are even when dump, they feel they could always look hotter and more attractive.

Let her talk about it and most of all; accept her sexuality. Most women are terrified of showing that they are sexual beings.

12. “What did you think when you first saw me?”

This can lead to some unexpected answers. She might’ve thought you were some crazy dude!

I’ve had some guys tell me that the girls were attracted to them the first time they met. Other guys are not so lucky, but this can be a fun and exciting topic to talk about.

13. “As a child, what did you think you would grow up to be?”

This is a funny one. We get to look back and see the silliness of our young self. 

You get to laugh at who you were, nothing better than that.

14. “What do you hate about yourself most”

This question sounds bad, but it’s a very effective way of connecting with your girl. 

We all have parts of us that we don’t like, no matter how much healing work we have done there is always something left.

But if you can allow her to express that part of herself, maybe she doesn’t like the way her nose looks, when you love and accept it, she will love you even deeper.

15. “What do you love most about yourself”

Of course you can ask this question too. Ask her what part of herself makes her the happiest.

And then just let her talk, ask her why and you’ve got a one hour long deep conversation. If you just ask her 3 or 4 of these questions your relationship will be 99% above the rest.

16. “Who was the worst teacher that you’ve ever had?”

I love this question because I never got along with any of my teachers and I’ve got the best stories to tell. Everyone has their most hated teacher, let her talk about it.

17. “Who was your favorite teacher in school?

Most girls can relate to this more than boys because girls are much more agreeable and follow instructions more than boys. Every girl had that one teacher that she just loved to see every day.

Ask her about the best times she had with her and the funniest moments, you will get to know your woman much better after this one. [8, 9]

18. “What was your worst moment in school?”

Once you are already asking her about her best childhood friends and teachers, you can easily slide over to this question. 

“What was your worst moment in school?” will bring up feelings of shame, embarrassment, and guilt. And all you need to do is love your girl even more and accept those feelings for what they are.

You can’t just connect with your girlfriend over the good stuff, you need to connect with the dark side too. Most relationships run away from that and that is why they don’t really connect.

19. “Have you ever wanted or been hypnotized?”

This will bring up tons of hilarious emotions. I’m sure you’ve seen hypnotizing videos on youtube already and the crazy things people do.

I’ve never been hypnotized before and I’m terrified of getting hypnotized, but if she is too then talk about how scared both of you are.

If she has been hypnotized then laugh about the ridiculous things she did and how it felt to be under someone else’s control.

20. “What talent would you love to master?”

I find that girls really want to become dancers because it’s one of the best ways of expressing themselves and their repressed sexuality.

Maybe she really wants to be a singer and it’s been her childhood dream, let her talk about what songs she would dream to sing. You can talk about how packed the auditorium would be to hear her incredible voice.

There are infinite possibilities, you can easily talk for hours.

And if she had a good voice then let her sing to you.

21. “What was the longest time you’ve spent away from home?”

Girls need their family more than men do. They need to feel their love and warmth. 

When girls leave home they usually experience fear and loneliness, and usually the longer the time the worse it gets.

And just like each question, don’t judge her or give advice. Simply accept and love her for who she is.

22. “What was the worst prank someone played on you?”

I have been pranked on so many times in my life and I’ve gotten my revenge too, don’t worry. But each time I’ve come out with hilarious stories.

Ask your girlfriend this and laugh about how terrified she was when she thought a 10 inch spider was crawling up her leg!

23. “What don’t I know about you yet?”

This is a very open ended question. You can go anywhere with this. She might tell you about some insecurities she has with herself or a problem she has with her family.

Either way you open the gates to a much deeper, authentic love after this question.

24. “What do you love about being a woman?”

Men are fascinated with women. Any hot girl seems so seductive and we are naturally curious about what it’s like to be a woman.

I say, why not ask her. This will give you both a chance to explore each other at a deep level.

She might talk about how people look at her on the street and men are scared to speak to her. Gosh I wish women would stare at me on the street!

25. “What was the creepiest dream you’ve ever had?”

They say dreams are symbols of what we think deep inside. Does she have beautiful loving dreams or scary nightmares?

You get to know her better than any man has before.

26. “If you had to describe me in one word, what would it be?”

Would it be hilarious, strong, ridiculous, masculine? Either way you’ll get to see who you are from her perspective and that can be very enlightening.

27. “What do you love to do in your free time?”

Most guys just ask “what do you do,” that’s not terrible, but you can do much better than that. In addition, when you ask “what do you do” she will start talking about her work. 

No one likes talking about their job, most people just experience stress there. So don’t bring it up.

“What do you love to do in your free time?” is a much better alternative.

28. “Where you a popular kid at school?”

Everyone wants to be a popular kid at school, I wasn’t. But if she was that popular girl let her talk about it.

If she wasn’t, you guys can talk about the kids that were and the jealousy you had towards them. 

29. “What is the craziest thing that you would want to do with me?”

Maybe I love this question because I love craziness. Maybe she had a secret desire to go skydiving with you or get high on some drug together.

If you have the balls to do it, than ask her this next question.

30. “What is the sexiest thing that you would want to do with me?”

Everyone has a little embarrassment surrounding their sexuality, so ask this question in a playful manner. Maybe it’s a little BDSM, but you’ll bring up some taboo ideas for sure.

31. “Which animal is your favorite?”

I find that most girls love cats the most, but I’ve met a woman recently that loved dogs. Then you guys can talk about what makes it so attractive. 

32. “If I had telepathy and could read your mind, would you freak out?”

Sometimes I am so grateful that no one knows what I’m thinking about. 

I have the craziest imagination, especially when I’m talking to a hot girl, if you know what I mean…

But girls also have crazy thoughts and would also freak out! Ask this “What if” question and have a great conversation.

33. “Would you kiss me in public?”

Kissing can be scary, but also super passionate for women. 

A girl is being very vulnerable when she kisses a man.

You’ll find out how much she trusts you. When you ask her this question you’ll build even more trust.

By talking about her fears and insecurities you heal them. You don’t heal anything by ignoring the problem.

34. “When are we going to have 18 kids?!”

This can be a very insightful and hilarious question. There is nothing more chaotic than having 18 kids.

You will learn what she thinks about chaotic situations and how she’ll deal with them. You’ll learn what she thinks about kids and if she wants, how many she wants.

35. “If you had to be sexy right now and turn me on, what would you do?”

I love questions that involve the work sex because women especially suppress their sexual desire and fantasies. Girls want to be as sexual as they can be just they are afraid of being judged.

This question will allow your girlfriend to breathe deeply again. She will feel fully comfortable in your presence.

Additionally, you will learn about her sexuality and what it takes to turn you on.

36. “Have you ever desired a woman sexually?”

This question is so taboo that if she answers this question you’ve done a really good job building up trust with her. 

You can tell where she stands on the masculine and feminine scale. There can only be a lesbian attraction if one girl is more masculine and the other is feminine.

Ask her what was about the girl that attracted her. 

And just so you know a woman’s sexuality is much more fluid so it’s normal for a girl to catch feelings for another.

37. “If you could be an animal what would you be?”

Maybe she wants to be a cat or a tiger, you just better hope that she doesn’t want to be a snake. She says that she wants to be a cat, tell her you are a bear and you eat cats!

38. “How do you give yourself a gift when you deserve it?”

Whenever I come back from an especially hard day at work or I’ve done a muscle burning workout I love to treat myself to something.

Sometimes it’s chilling with some friends, watching a YouTube video, or eating a fruit salad.

But now you get to ask your girlfriend, she might tell you that she loves going to the mall, getting her nails done and taking a bath with scented candles. Get in the bath with her!

39. “What is the craziest thing you’d do for me?”

Let her talk about the things that she would do out her love for you. Maybe she’ll joke around and tell you that she doesn’t care about you and she won’t do anything.

Or she would love to get naked with you in a bubble bath and give you a blow job after!

40. “Who was the creepiest guy that ever approached you?”

This happens a lot to women, especially the middle range. The super hot, 10, model type girls don’t get approached by the creeps.

The creepy, insecure guys are way too afraid to talk to them.

Only the middle rage girls get approached by that the creeps, I feel bad for your girl if she falls into that category.

She probably has an awkward story to tell.

41. “Do you workout at the gym”

Tell her that she looks super hot, and you can always challenge her to do an arm wrestle with you. That’s an easy way to touch her.

42. “Do you like getting a massage?”

This is one of my favorite questions because it gives you the opportunity to give her a massage and touch her. This is how you truly turn on women.

Women aren’t anywhere near as visual as men are, women are sensual. So touch her, caress her and if you can kiss her while giving her a massage. 

You can even do this on tinder date and rapidly make her develop feelings for you without her even realizing it.

43. “What do you go nuts about if it’s not perfect?”

We all have a little OCD about something. What’s hers? 

If it’s her hair then caress her hair and tell her it’s perfect the way it is.

44. “What is the worst relationship tip that you’ve ever heard?”

I’ve heard some of the worst stuff out there: “aggressiveness is all that matters.” 

This is why I struggled getting girls for so many years.

I thought I needed to fight my way to girls, but I learned that no one needs to fight at all and there’s an abundance of love everywhere.

45. “Would you ever be a porn star?”

This question can only be asked to a certain type of girl. If you suspect that she will take it personally and get offended – do not ask this question.

But if your girl is open to anything then let her talk about what she would do. Would she be with another woman? 

This can really allow you two to connect. To really connect, like I’ve said before, you need to connect with the dark and the light.

Most girls will never even let themselves think about their dark dreams, but now you take them out of the pit. Just be careful you are dealing with fragile emotions.

46. “What was the worst thing you’ve done to anyone?”

I have definitely gone mad at people in my life before! We are all human and therefore we all experience emotions. 

Let her talk about the times that both of you lost your minds being so angry at someone. I just hope you don’t think that you’ve been dating the devil after this conversation.

47. “What do you hate thinking about, but you can’t stop thinking about it?”

This can be anything, I have a friend who can’t stop thinking about his ex, but he also hates when his mind goes there. 

Girls have the same thing, maybe it’s something she obsesses over. Whatever it is, make sure you laugh about it.

48. “If you could talk to you 3rd grade self what would you say?”

I know that I would’ve told myself to brace for impact, because school will not get easier. She will probably want to send love to her younger self. 

49. “Do you think you’ve ever seen a soul or a ghost at night?”

I don’t know if you’ve ever read the comic Calvin And Hobbes, but I really think like the character Calvin does. I definitely had monsters under my bed as a child. And I think I still do!

meet your fears

50. “What do you think about spending time alone?”

If you are ever by yourself and you are not distracted by music or watching YouTube, you know that you have to sit with your own thoughts.

This can be a scary experience especially if we haven’t done the healing work. From this question you can learn what she thinks about herself and even what approval she craves.

51. “What parts of yourself do you hide from people?”

This is a common, natural thing to do. We all have insecurities that we hide from people, you don’t have to show everyone your dark side.

But for a deep relationship to continue you need to connect even with the stuff we don’t like about ourselves. This is tough to do, but well worth it.

52. “If you could change everyone in just one way, what would it be?”

I don’t know why this is funny, but isn’t it true that we all have this one thing that we hate when people do. And we just wish we could tell them to cut it out already!


This wraps up the 50+ questions to ask a girlfriend. I recommend reading these questions a couple times before bringing them up.

This way the questions will be sitting in the back of your head and you’ll be able to bring them up when the moment is right.

The goal here is to get your girlfriend to love you even more, even when she isn’t interested

The way we accomplish this is by getting super interested in her life. By being fascinated about everything she is doing.

The focus isn’t the question, the focus is on who she is and what she does. Once you can do that she will fall, deep, deep in love with you.

Good luck!


  • thanks! I appreciate the work you put into this article. I like most of the questions and I feel more comfortable around my girlfriend. I know how to start good conversations.

  • I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
    I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

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    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

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