How YOU Can Stop Being Needy In 9 Little Known Ways

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Part of the reasons so many guys don’t know how to stop being needy is because they don’t fully understand what being needy means.

“WHAT! Being needy is the most obvious thing in the world!?”

“I know, but give me a second to quickly explain the internal beliefs that are the backbone to any needy behaviors”

Being needy isn’t as simple as we think it is. To fully escape neediness a man must release himself from the beta male mindset.

OK, but what is the beta mindset?

Simply put: the beta male thinks that the more he serves his women, the more she will love him. He thinks he can buy female love.

Unfortunately or fortunately, however you look at it, it never works that way. Women are not sexually attracted to a man that serves their every need.

Women are sexually attracted to the man that can dominate her. That has full control of the relationship.

Until you realize that being needy doesn’t help, you will never stop being needy. You’ll always be coming back to that beta mindset to win her back.

Think of this post as a way to learn how to be dominant. How to be the alpha male, because that is exactly what you need to solve your problem.

1. Get over beauty

The first thing beta males do is put women on a pedestal. They treat women as if they are perfect beings that deserve all the good.

These needy, beta males value female beauty over anything else. 

And because they over value feminine beauty they feel that as men, they have nothing to offer. To them, beauty is everything.

What happens when you have nothing to offer in a relationship? You become needy. 

The first step is to get over your God-like perception of female beauty. Once you stop putting her on a pedestal, you can begin to see what you actually have to offer.

But the first step is always going to be: get over your God-like perception of beauty.

2. Stop buying her love

Once you begin to incorporate this new paradigm in your life you’ll need to stop doing certain habits that you’ve built up over the years.

When a random girl you just met asks you to help her move across town, your answer is NO.

  1. If she wants you to buy her a drink, the answer is NO.
  2. If she wants you to hold her purse, the answer is NO.
  3. If she wants you to drive her somewhere, the answer is NO.
  4. Unless she’s sleeping with you or ready to get down on her knees to give you a blowjob, the answer is NO.

Realize that she’s simply giving you a compliance test. She wants to know how quickly you’ll lose your dominant state.

Don’t ever give in. If you wouldn’t do it for a guy friend, never do it for her.

Although depending on the situation you can sometimes make her work for you in return, for example:

  1. Make yourself look sexier, then ask me again
  2. Are you gonna buy me lunch tomorrow?
  3. I’ll help you with your homework, but first dance in a circle 3 times
  4. Sure, but cook me some food first
  5. Only if you ask nicely, say please

As long as you aren’t being needy by asking for “love” in return, you can pretty much demand anything in return from her.

Whatever you want, say it. Be bold. If you want a blowjob, tell her.

Of course, the point isn’t to actually get something from her. The point is to stop her from using you like a slave.

Don’t be afraid to be an A$$hole.

I know this might seem extreme, but the guys that follow these rules, including me, have girls waiting 24/ 7 to swallow their load. [1, 2]

3. Get over rejection

You are needy with every girl because you are terrified of her potentially rejecting you. This is your chance to change that.

The basic way to overcome the fear of rejection is by getting rejected. Ultimately there is no easy free ride and there is no way to escape rejection.

We all get rejected, even the top pickup artists you see on YouTube get rejected, they just don’t show you that footage.

So if you can’t escape rejection your only other option is to embrace it. Go after rejection:

Every day spend 30 minutes cold approaching women on the street and when you get rejected don’t escape it, see it for what it is.

Think of this as a workout, the more you workout, the stronger you’ll get. Start small and build your way up.

Here’s an easy hack to help you out as you do this “rejection-workout”: create a strong group of friends so that you feel socially accepted outside of women.

So even if this girl tells you that you are the ugliest creep that walked this earth, you still have friends that think you’re cool.

You got back up.

And of course, why don’t you stop worrying about the fear of rejection and think about all the opportunities you’ll miss out on?

Feel the regret you’ll have if you don’t talk to this girl. Feel how ashamed you’ll be by always giving up perfect opportunities.

If that doesn’t motivate you to approach women, I don’t know what will.

4. Start valuing yourself

When you don’t see the value that you bring to women, you automatically become needy simply because you have nothing to offer.

You are a beggar for female love and sex.

But this all stops when you start valuing yourself and realizing what value you bring to women. 

Ask yourself: why do women need me?

The answer is stability. Women need a man that can ground them. Women are too emotional for themselves and need a sense of stability.

If women don’t get that stability, strength and solidity from a man, they will begin to lose control. Women need men.

Women need your strength, logic, and dominance. But what do they have to offer in return?

Being hot. That’s it.

In other words, women need you, but you don’t need women. You don’t need her beauty, the way she needs your masculinity.

She needs you more than you need her.

Now you can start making women needy because of the realization that you have the upper hand in every interaction.

The more you make them feel unnecessary to your life the more attraction they’ll feel to you because you are displaying dominant alpha male traits.

5. Get a passion

OK, if women aren’t the number one priority in your life, then what is?

Your passion and purpose.

First of all, finding your purpose isn’t simple. That’s why I’m here to introduce you to the most effective way to live a fulfilled life.

It’s called The Power Quadrant System. You learn about your identity, where you will succeed most in life and what makes you happy.

The craziest thing is that it costs… 

Not 345 dollars….

Not 137 dollars…

Not even 67 dollars (the average price for courses of this caliber)

The Power Quadrant System costs a whopping 7 dollars. That’s it. What more could you ask for? 

Right now is the time to get passionate about life. You must start waking up in the morning with passion.

When you follow this system and become happy with your life, women will be happy with you. You won’t have to be needy, women will automatically give you attention.

6. Be excellent

As you already know by now, women need a man that is dominant. Which also means you must be better than her.

It can really be anything: looks, strength, wealth – as long as you are better than her in some way she will love and respect you.

Being physically strong is usually quite simple. All you need to do is follow a workout program. But what’s the fastest way to create massive wealth.

Well let me tell you now – it’s not college. Forget making money, it’s going to take you a long time to pay off your student debt!

Welcome to the new age of making money: the online business. 

I can’t start talking about how easy it is to succeed and how to do it because that would take way too long. So here’s the best I can do:

I found this live webinar that John Crestani does. This guy has massive online success and if you watch that webinar you’ll learn everything you need to get started.

The point is that if you are more successful with women in any area, they will look up to you. They will need you.

And ultimately you will be the alpha male on top.

7. Start commanding respect

If you can’t command respect from women, you can’t be loved by them either. A woman’s love is predicated on the fact that she respects you.

But you already know how to command respect: realize that you are the prize. Any girl that ends up with you is lucky.

And with that understanding you set up boundaries. Women understand that they need to treat you a certain way or they’re out. 

The great part is that this only motivates them to love you more. Women want to feel submissive to their man.

Act like the dominant bad boy by setting up rules and watch how women flock you like thirsty animals.

8. Have multiple women

The first major benefit of having multiple sexual partners is that you don’t need any single one. That by itself kills the very reason to be needy.

If a girl decides to leave, you don’t care.

Paradoxically, the more girls you have available, the less each girl will want to leave you because you come off as the alpha male.

Another crucial part of having multiple women goes back to what we were talking about before: overcoming the fear of rejection.

If you only have one girl then understandably you’ll fear being alone . But when you’ve got 10 girls on your list what do you care about any single girl rejecting you?

This is the essence of the abundance mentality. You realize that there are so many hot girls that would love you that no individual rejection makes a dent.

If this girl doesn’t like me, 10 other girls will. And instantly, with that self-belief, all your fears are gone.

You can’t be needy after realizing this!

9. Be overconfident

I am going to ask you to be irrationally confident for the sake of eradicating neediness within you. 

Being irrationally confident is not the end goal, but rather it’s a means to reach the healthy relationships that you need. 

But to reach that balance within yourself, you must first acknowledge and express the extreme parts of you. 

At this part of your journey make it your goal to be as confident with women as you possibly can with no connection to the reality of your skill set.

If it helps to see yourself as a psychopath and everyone as a puppet, go for it. As long as you are massively confident I don’t care how you do it.

While you are in that overconfident state of mind approach every hot girl you see and do everything you can to take them home.

You will be surprised at the amount of sex you get. Simply because you express so much entitlement, women are supremely attracted to you.

It is at this point you will no longer ever be needy again. You’ve stopped believing that you have no value and now you see women for what they really are. [3, 4]


Wow, I am impressed with you. You are dedicated to getting your game together, you’ve made it through this entire article.

Well done.

That’s why I have something special for you. I have a link to this 90 minute video by Joshua Pellicer talking all about seduction and getting laid on demand.

But wait… who the heck is Joshua Pellicer?

Josh is the guy that created the famous Tao of Badass seduction course. That course sold over 500,000 copies!

You better believe he knows what he’s talking about! And because I care about you, I’m giving you free access to that presentation!

Go watch it now and see you on the other side.


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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

56+ Affirmations To Attract Women: Manifest Love

The Blueprint: 29+ Steps to be the Bad Boy

13 Proven Steps To Develop More Confidence With Women

17 Exclusive Steps to Be More Masculine