Why Do Girls Like Me? 8 Insightful Reasons

In this post I’m gonna be assuming that you’re really asking “why do girls like me as a friend, but never as a sexual partner?” i.e. you can’t get out of the friend zone.

(If your question is “why does every girl want to sleep with me?” go read my post titled What Do Women Want: 17 Things Girls Like because you’ll see exactly what about you makes girls crazy.)

But anyways, “why do girls like me as a friend, but never as a sexual partner?” is a very common question among guys.

Girls might even say how nice, friendly and funny you are, but will always drop you for a bad boy! Why?! Many guys just can’t figure out what’s cock-blocking them.

What makes this worse is that everyday, your confidence is sinking like a piece of lead. You’re starting to think that there’s something intrinsically wrong with you.

I’m here to say that there is nothing wrong with you, but there are things you need to stop doing and behaviours that need to immediately change.

Let’s get started:

1. You let yourself be used

The simplest reason why every girl “likes” you is because you take them out to dinner, pay their rent and buy them drinks. You are the local ATM machine.

You let yourself be used and used and used to no end!

They tell you how nice, funny and sweet you are only to milk some money out of you. You might even notice how they treat you special because they need your money.


Behind your back they’ll laugh about how unattractive and needy you are, but while you’re speaking to them they’ll treat you like a king.

What’s the solution? Stop letting girls use you and stand up for yourself.

2. You are too apologetic

Now that we got the simplest reason out of the way, it’s time to get a little personal and I want you to ask yourself some of these questions:

  1. Are you scared of being admired?
  2. Are you scared of being seen as cocky?
  3. Are you scared of being respected?
  4. Are you scared of seeing your own advantages?

If your answer to any of these questions was yes, I think we understand the problem: you are acting like a beta male, always apologizing for who you are which is driving girls away from having any serious relationship with you.

Here’s a big lesson that I learned from Hypnotica in his program called The Collection of Confidence (review):

Being cocky is sexy to girls the same way big boobs are sexy to you. If you’re too afraid to show raw confidence, don’t expect any girl to ever sleep with you.

You might be a good friend to many girls and be truly “liked,” but until you show your unfiltered confidence, you will stay in the friend zone. You need to realize that you’re the prize, not the girls. 

When you internalize this message, girls will really start to look at you in the most lustful ways.

If this paradigm is new to you, definitely get Hypnotica’s course because you are in desperate need for a “mindset transplant.”

3. You are too needy

Here’s my official definition of being needy:

Being clingy and needy means that you have made your partner your one and only savior, constantly missing them. You can’t give them their own personal space, always keeping track of where they are. Your happiness is dependent on your partner and if they don’t include you with everything they do you feel rejected. And because of your neediness you attempt to control them by making their happiness dependent on you.

Be honest with yourself:

  1. Do you love yourself?
  2. Does your happiness depend on external validation?
  3. Do you need people to give you an identity?
  4. Are you terrified of getting rejected?

Unless you’ve done online therapy and challenged your fears, chances are you probably answered yes to some of the questions which is OK, but it’s also the source of your problems.

Girls don’t like you because you continuously try to get approval and validation from them. You act like the ultimate needy, beta male and it’s repulsive.

Girls might tell you that they don’t have time for you, but what they’re really saying is I don’t feel attraction to you and I’d rather bang this other dude who’s “self-sufficient.”

You act all charming, nice, friendly, kind and funny just to get girls to like you and unsurprisingly that never works.

How do you end this vicious cycle? You use online therapy to clean up your inner trauma and challenge your fears on a daily basis.

4. You hide your feelings of attraction

Sometimes a girl likes you and wants to have a real relationship, but she doesn’t know if you want her, so she just acts like a friend to avoid getting rejected.

This is why telling a girl you like her is so important and here are 3 ways to do that:

Compliment her

The first thing you do when you approach a girl is complement her. It doesn’t really matter what you say as long as she understands that you feel attracted to her beauty.

Ask her out

Never wait for the perfect moment. If you’ve already told her that she’s cute, suggest that you get some coffee with her sometime.

Make it clear that you want to date her and not just hang out.

Send her the right text messages

This works best if you’ve been a girl’s friend for a while and you feel stuck in the friend zone: just send her one of these texts:

  1. The dress you wore today looked amazing on you! Where did you get that sense of style?
  2. Your hair has such a natural shine to it, I hope you’re not trying to seduce me!
  3. Your big, blue eyes make you look so damn cute, I need to see them again
  4. You have no idea how your cute smile makes me feel

You are expressing your attraction to her in the form of a perfect compliment which virtually guarantees that she’ll respond positively.

Touch her

Another way you can express your desire for your girl is by touching, caressing and holding her hamd. By doing so you are making it very clear that you want her as a girlfriend, not for a platonic relationship.

It can be scary to follow these steps, but if you are committed to seeing results you must follow through.

5. You are too friendly

In my article What Do Women Want: 17 Things Girls Like, I make it abundantly clear that girls are only sexually attracted to raw, unfiltered masculinity.

The reason why girls only “like” you is because you aren’t not masculine enough. Plain and simple.

Being nice, agreeable and empathetic do not arouse girls at all, in fact, it only makes them treat you like another girl…

Here are some steps you can take to start become more masculine:

  1. Show some aggression
  2. Look masculine
  3. Have opinions and stop agreeing with everything everyone says
  4. Be cocky
  5. Stop trying to seduce women, just let your masculinity attract them

But above all else, realize that girls don’t want friendly guys. They only desire men.

a girl that likes you

6. You aren’t making her feel jealous

Paradoxically, making your girl jealous is the best way to arouse desire in her. She needs to know other girls want you before she wants you.

But because you aren’t making any girl feel jealous about you, there is no temptation to be with you, so how do you make girls jealous?

  1. Date multiple girls at the same time
  2. Take girls along with you for a walk in the park
  3. As you date your girl talk about another beautiful girl you saw earlier
  4. As you’re talking to your girl, compliment other girls or even the waitress

This is a technique that I use to get guys out of the friend zone fast and it works nearly every time. Just don’t over use this because it can backfire.

7. You aren’t making her qualify herself

Making girls qualify themselves means that you make girls explain to you why you should be attracted to them or why they meet your standards.

You, on the other hand, are not qualifying them which makes you look like a low-value man without any standards. How can a girl feel any attraction to a guy like that?

From now on, start using qualifications on every girl that you meet. Here are great examples from 28 SURPRISING Techniques To GET OUT Of The FRIEND ZONE:

  1. I hope you are not the type of girl that spends all her money getting her nails done…
  2. I love working out, what do you do to look good?
  3. You look like the fun type of girl, although all of them say they are, what do you do that’s fun?
  4. Do you do anything in your life besides sitting around looking hot?
  5. So you are just looking to break someone else’s heart, am I right?
  6. So I guess your best friends would also call you boring…
  7. Do you ever know when to shut your mouth? You’re not always this way, right?
  8. Your acting like you didn’t get enough sleep last night
  9. I didn’t know you ate this type of junk food, I hope you are not the type of girl that doesn’t care about fitness
  10. You don’t have much respect for people, do you?

It’s a powerful technique, but it takes balls to go for it. Do it anyways and show her that you don’t care about the possibility of being rejected.

8. You can’t make the bold move

You never go after what you want because you always wait for permission like a clueless 5 year old and girls hate that.

Here’s what you need to start doing:

If you’re on a date and you want to hold hands, just go for it.

If you want to kiss her, kiss her already and stop waiting for the perfect moment.

If she follows you back home and you want to sleep with her, make the bold move. She won’t undress unless you initiate it and that goes for everything.

If you’re not willing to be bold then stop complaining about spending Friday nights alone and being a virgin because this is your choice!

All the hot girls will sleep with all the other guys until you say “enough is enough” and reclaim your natural boldness that girls crave.


Whatever you decide to do, never give up! You don’t need to stay “liked” by girls, you can become truly desired.

Is it gonna be hard? Yes, but it’s well worth it.

And remember: you are not alone, there are so many experienced guys who would be happy to help you out!

Your friend,

Colt Smith

  • Hey man thanks for this post, I’ve definitely been in the friend zone and only been likes. It’s been hard for me to get into any serious relationship with a girl….

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    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

    56+ Affirmations To Attract Women: Manifest Love

    The Blueprint: 29+ Steps to be the Bad Boy

    13 Proven Steps To Develop More Confidence With Women

    17 Exclusive Steps to Be More Masculine