55 Tried-and-True Steps to Get a Girlfriend at Middle, High School and College

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The 55 steps in this ginormous guide are split up into the following 4 parts to cover all 4 elements of getting a girlfriend in school/ college:

  1. 1
    Becoming boyfriend material 
  2. 2
    Gaining your future girlfriends’ attention
  3. 3
    Talking to your soon-to-be girlfriend
  4. 4
    Dating your new girlfriend in school/ college

With that in mind, strap on your thinking cap and turn it on max power because this guide requires all of your attention! 

Having a loving girlfriend in school or college like this can change your life!

Having a loving girlfriend in school or college can change your life!

Table of Contents

Part one: Becoming boyfriend material 

1. Take care of your skin in school

It’s no secret that girls prefer guys who have clear skin. Clear skin makes you ‘look’ like boyfriend material. 

Another benefit to treating your acne/ pimples now - instead of waiting till college when your skin is all f*cked up - is your confidence won’t take a kick in the balls  (and we know how much girls like confidence).

Having clear skin like this will make it much easier to get a girlfriend especially in college

So what can you do if you have bad acne? Here are my top 6 tips:

  1. Make sure you wash your face after any workout or times you sweat profusely
  2. Don’t eat horrendous food on a daily basis 
  3. Take zinc supplements
  4. Take Omega-3 supplements
  5. Clear off all your dead skin regularly with skin exfoliation products  
  6. Workout regularly 
  7. [For those with bad acne that really won’t go away] Read The Great Pain Deception: Faulty Medical Advice Is Making Us Worse by Ozanich - The gist of the book is that you have repressed anger from either traumatic experience or from day to day stressors that you don’t let yourself consciously feel, but rise up in the form of back pain, migraine or…. acne! Your acne simply disappears when you stop repressing your emotions and heal the deeper pain. [Again, this advice is only to be used when nothing works and the doctors can’t help you.]

Looking good? Now it’s time to smell like boyfriend material!

2. Smell good around your future girlfriend

Why should you smell good? Is it really worth the effort? Here are 4 reasons why it absolutely is:

  1. 1
    You smell attractive and girls like that (DUH!)
  2. 2
    You feel more confident because you feel attractive which only makes you more attractive 
  3. 3
    When you use one cologne and use it to create your “signature scent”, you start to create a sort of personal brand for yourself to set yourself apart from all the other guys
  4. 4
    When you use one cologne and use it to create your “signature scent”, girls will think about you whenever you leave your stuff around that carries your cologne smell (we’ll talk about this one later)

To me, ‘smelling good’ goes beyond putting on some deodorant every morning, it’s really about displaying self-respect.

That being said, here are some more basic hygiene/ self-care tips you should be checking off every morning simple because you respect yourself:

  1. Brush your teeth well (try getting that extra whitening toothpaste) 
  2. Use mouthwash
  3. Shave 
  4. Get a haircut whenever you need it to maintain your hairstyle and don’t push it off
  5. Have your own hairstyle
  6. Dress with clean clothing that fit you well

I know these are boring tips, but I’m forced to cover them now because most guys love to jump straight to the juicy seduction techniques before getting the basics down. [1, 2]

3. Use school to become attractive to girls

Here’s a good way to actually make use of the time you spend in school: pick the classes that’ll help you with girls.

What do I mean by this?

If you have a choice between history class or a gym class, pick the latter. Getting a hot, masculine body is one of the first things girls look for in a guy.

If you have a choice between going to a gender studies class or public speaking, pick the latter. You can easily take the skills you learnt from public speaking to talking to girls in ways you can’t imagine: confidence, tone of voice, hand gestures, etc.

This connection between basic communication skills and getting girls is precisely the reason why I wrote - 48 Proven Methods To Talk More Clearly, Confidently And Slowly [+ Sound More Masculine] - even though this site is about dating and not public speaking! The two can never be separated. 

Moving on!

4. Join the school’s or college’s sports team 

There are several reasons why joining a sports team in school can help you get a girlfriend:

  1. If you’re a top player, you’ll appear as the alpha male to all the girls in the school
  2. Playing sports will become (or should become) more important than attracting any specific girl which surprisingly gets girls to chase after you
  3. Playing in the college’s sports team automatically raises your social status and can put you in the same league of the popular girl(s) (BTW you get the popular girl by becoming the popular guy)
  4. Playing sports on a daily basis will at the very least make you lose weight which is a plus for everyone
  5. Playing in a sports team can give you close friends. Without friends, girls won’t even notice you.
joining a sports team like this can make you more boyfriend material

Bottom line:

If you’re already in a sports team, awesome! If you aren’t there yet, but think you can make it, work until you get accepted. If you simply cannot join for whatever reason, that’s OK, just be sure to follow as many tips as you can - especially the next one!

5. Get a muscular body

What type of guy do you think will have an easier time getting a girlfriend?

This guy:

Being skinny like this can hurt your chances of getting a girlfriend

Or this guy:

Being muscular like this can make it easier for you to get a girlfriend

Right? It’s muscle that gets any girl's attention whether you're in elementaryschool or in college!

Being skinny isn’t good enough - and I don’t care how many marathons you can run!

So where do you start?

  1. Get the Body Beast Program from BeachBody (100 bucks for a year, 60 bucks for 3 months - get 3 months)
  2. Sign up to cheap gym because for the Body Beast Program you don’t need much equipment (which makes it great for beginners)
  3. Optional: buy whey protein powder and creatine monohydrate to enhance your workouts
  4. Eat food that your body recognizes
  5. Once done the 3 month program, find a workout program in spreadsheet form from LiftVault.com and continue from there

The reason why I’m going through all these steps to explain how to actually build muscle instead of simply saying “muscular guys get girlfriends” is because I want you to see you take real world action to improve your life. 

Don’t make my efforts go to waste. 

Do it, get results and report back to me.

6. Be noticeably good at something

I don’t just mean being ‘good’ at public speaking, ‘decent’ body or ‘OK’ at guitar. 

I want you to be ‘noticeably’ good. 

I want you to effortlessly grab the attention of everyone around you (not just girls) with your incredible skill whether it be dancing, gymnastics, piano, public speaking, etc. 

Take the following dancing video as an example. See how it so easily grabs your attention. This is the type of power you want to work towards.

7. Have several friend groups

The average guy these days severely lacks friends and it usually only gets worse as he ages. 

How do you think that affects his romantic life? 

Not good, right?

That’s why I want you to do everything you can to improve your social life - outside of women. I want you to have tons of friends, specifically:

  • I want you to be the guy who runs that parties
  • I want your place to be the hangout place
  • I want you to be known as the leader of the group 
  • I want you to be the guy starting new clubs so that you meet new people on a daily basis
  • I want you to be so popular that a day without you, is a boring day

When you have a strong social standing like this, getting girls becomes much easier, and unsurprisingly, you’ll be a much happier man.

Make those friends because you need them more than you think.

8. Start creating strong social media profile in school

The 2 main reasons why you want to start working on your social media presence in school are:

  1. School is where everyone start gathering online followers, if you don’t start now, you’ll be left behind
  2. Having a large number of followers is another wonderful way of displaying your high social status to potential girlfriends

The following video by FreshandFit will great help you understand the importance of social media/ Instagram in the regards to women:

Not gonna teach you how to build your social media here - tons of videos on YouTube about that already. I just hope that you now understand the importance of it and get to work gathering those likes. 

9. Don’t seem sad because you don’t have a girlfriend

This seems obvious, I mean, why would I want to seem sad alone?!

You're right, but I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon in guys: they believe that if they seem sad enough, some girls are gonna have pity on them.

We can talk about why guys think like this later, the point, however, is that looking sad exudes neediness which drives any girl away that would otherwise be interested in you.

If you’re having a hard time escaping the needy vicious cycle, give this guide a read: 13 Proven Steps To Develop More Confidence With Women | datingarmory.com

If you don't appear needy, you'll be able to get a girlfriend like this

10. Have the reputation you want in school

There’s a huge difference between getting girls in school and approaching random girls at the bar: when approaching girls at school, you bring your entire reputation with you, however, when you approach girls at the bar, they don't know who you are.

I’m not saying either one is good or bad.

What I am saying is that in order to succeed with the girls at your school, you should have a good reputation or at the very least, not a bad reputation.

Understood. But what qualifies as a “good reputation”? 

Good question and the answer is that it’s all relative:

  • If you’re looking to get with the naughty girls with huge butts, having a bad boy reputation would be a ‘good’ reputation for you. In fact, I’d recommend you be known as the cool kid who does illegal sh*t. It’ll help you get hookups, threesomes and who knows what else!
  • On the other hand, if you want to become the loyal boyfriend of the cute girl at the library, having a kindhearted, loving reputation would be a ‘good’ reputation for you. 

Lastly, with whatever reputation to want, gain the type of friends that’ll help you get there. Hint: your drug dealer friend is not helping you gain that ‘loving-guy’ reputation!

11. Win school fights

Physical fights will almost always be limited to your school days and while I do not promote them, I will say that they can instantly raise your social status IF you win the school fight (that’s why I tell guys to lift weights daily). [3, 4, 5, 6]

It’s about as primal as it gets: 

  • Bob beats Sam in the school fight.
  • Bob has better genes. 
  • Girls: I want to mate with Bob (Big Brain time!).

12. Get a car in high school

The moment you can get a car in high school, is the moment you should be getting one. I don’t care if it’s an old Camry from the 2000’s, if it drives, it’s good enough for me.

Being one of the guys with a car will do so many things for you:

  1. You’ll be the one giving the girls a ride
  2. It’ll be much easier to take girls out on a date and back to your place…
  3. It’ll give you a place to be alone with your girl to makeout or have sex if your parents are always home
  4. It’ll raise your social status (at least in high school when most guys don’t have a car yet)
  5. You’ll be able to take friends out to places you we’re never able to visit before

I do want to mention that having a car is expensive. At your age, it can cost up to $500/ month to simply own a car. 

So, if you have the money, great! If not, prioritize clothing, food, etc. Only when you’ve got a significant promotion at work or saved up enough money should you be making this kind of investment.

Part two: Gaining your future girlfriends’ attention

13.Only go for the type of girls that are like you

Joseph Deitch said: “Generally, people like people who are like themselves.” This holds true when getting a girlfriend, therefore:

The easiest way to get a girlfriend in middle school if you are fat is to approach fat girls.

The easiest way to get a girlfriend in middle school if you are shy is to approach shy girls.

If you don’t filter the girls you approach - to make sure they are at least somewhat similar to you - you’ll get rejected more than you have to and end up with the reputation as the school creep!

14. Make yourself seem open to being approached by girls

I usually only tell girls to seem open to being approached because it’s usually guys making the approach in the first place… except in school (usually middle to high school).

At your age, it’s not uncommon to see girls making the bold move which is why I tell you now to get rid of that bitchface and seem open to being approached. You never know which girl is already thinking of approaching you!

15. Don’t approach girls from behind

Never, ever approach a girl from behind. 

Why? 2 reasons:

  1. It scares her because she doesn’t know if you’re the school creep or the sexy guy that I hope you are.
  2. It displays a lack of confidence. “Why is he so scared to show his face that he has to approach me from behind?”

Let’s put this into practice:

She’s sitting on the bleachers and you’re sitting all the way at the top. 

What do you do? 

Well now you know to first head all the way down and then approach her on the way up.

Whenever approaching a girl in school, always approach from the front

16. Catch your girl alone

The next best way to catch her attention and get things moving between you is to catch her “accidentally” alone.

Here are some examples:

  1. Next to the lockers
  2. Filling up water bottles together 
  3. Sit next to her on the bus (don’t do this every day, otherwise she’ll think that it’s just a routine of yours)
  4. Walking down the stairs together
  5. Stay in class even once it’s over if you notice she’s staying behind
  6. Catch her on the way to class, although it’s can be kinda hard if there’s 1000 students running around the halls

The point here is to make time for her to notice you. Don’t fret about what to say at this point, we’ll talk about that in part 3 of this guide.

17. Getting a girlfriend at the school or college cafeteria 

(I was gonna simply title this piece “approaching girls at the cafeteria” as we are only at the beginning of this article, but then I added too much practical information (sorry!) that I had to rename it to what it’s now: getting a girlfriend at the school cafeteria.)

Here are the steps:

Approaching your girl

In general, here are the best times to talk to her:

  1. While she’s ordering food
  2. While you’re standing in line together 
  3. When you’re eating with your friends having a good time (social proof)
  4. While she’s eating alone. (If she has friends with her, it may be better to hold off, but if you feel like this is your only chance to get with her throughout the entire day: approach all her friends as a cool guy, give out some compliments, but try to single out the girl you’re truly interested in.)
approaching a girl in the school cafeteria

What to tell your girl

Couple options here:

  1. Bring more than enough food for yourself to school and then offer to share some dessert with your crush because “my mom accidentally packed too much for me” (after breaking the ice, continue with a more personal conversation - same with all the following examples)
  2. After she’s finished eating, tell her that she needs to try your secret hot chocolate or coffee recipe 
  3. If she looks like she’s been having a bad day, approach her with a cheeky smile and say “Hey I couldn't help but noticed how you stand out so much in lunch, you are clearly the life of the party here”
  4. “Sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I couldn’t help but notice you from across the cafeteria and I had to come tell you that you look so cute in your dress. Where did you get that sense of style?” (This opener comes from a template I put together called “The Compliment-Question Technique and can be used in pretty much any environment)

If all is going well, you should be having a good conversation, making her laugh and building up trust with Kino Escalation. But… 

What to do if she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend?

The first thing to realize when you start seeing subtle signs that she doesn’t like you is that just because she’s not interested today, doesn’t mean she won't be interested tomorrow. Don’t force it, because again, you don’t want to earn that “creepy guy” reputation!

What you do is make up an excuse to join a different table by saying “Oh, my friends just showed up, thanks for sharing the table with me”, then pick up your stuff and leave. 

Leave her alone for the next week or two, then try again.

Things to avoid doing at the cafeteria

  1. Don’t eat super messy, use a napkin when needed. She’ll notice, trust me. 
  2. Don’t talk when your mouth is full of food
  3. Like we already mentioned, don’t force a conversation on her 
  4. If you’re gonna approach her with all her friends, don’t ignore them or be disrespectful

And that’s it, you should have the 4 core elements to get a regular girl at your college cafeteria to be your girlfriend. [7]

18. Best places in school to ask a girl to be your girlfriend

  1. You can easily approach in between classes, frankly there are so many people running around that nobody will notice
  2. Back of the school, this may be a better place to makeout with your girl, but I guess it works for our purposes too
  3. You could try before class has started, maybe right after lunch break so that no one’s around and approach her then
  4. Use the stairways (there’s always one staircase that isn’t used often)
  5. The library behind a huge stack of books
  6. The science room when no ones’ meant to be around

The places are just fine for a make out session too (talk about that soon!) as long as you don’t care about the possible onlooker. 

19. What to do if you’re stuck in an all boys school

You have 3 options:

  1. Get with the girls in your neighborhood 
  2. Ask your friends in school to introduce you to girls they know outside of school
  3. Meet women outside of the school (either through dating apps or cold approach) - recommend this mostly for guys in college or older

Even with these options, I’m not gonna deny that going to an all boy school will limit your options with girls. Gotta work with what you have.

20. Dress in a way that you stand out to girls

In my article for women about “how to get a guy to notice you”, one of the first tips that I mention is: use your clothing to stand out.

And while I know this advice sounds geared for women, it applies just as equally - if not more - to men. 

So how do you dress to stand out to girls and hopefully gain their attention?

  1. Have a styled haircut even if it costs more to maintain
  2. Dress very specifically to your personality so that no one can mistake about who you are
  3. If you’re in college or older, grow a beard and keep it looking fresh (there are lots of reasons why girls love guys with beards)
  4. Never walk out of the house with loose fitting clothing
  5. Add one 1 or 2 accessories to appear more masculine
  6. Always wear one piece of clothing that objectively sticks out and grabs peoples attention without being too much

Lastly, a costly mistake that guys make is that they erroneously believe that if they have super expensive $500 shoes (or any other one piece of clothing/jewelry), girls will fall for them. 

Why is this wrong?

Because girls are looking for the complete masculine look, not a guy that can put on 500 dollar shoes. 

21. Leave your things around the school

If you have a suspicion that she has a crush on you, this one’s for you:

Have something in school that everyone knows is yours. It can be anything: a fancy pen, your knapsack with that design, etc. (Pro tip: add your signature cologne so that anyone can tell from the smell that it’s already yours.)

Next, leave it around in a place where you know your crush hangs around.

By doing this, you get 2 potential benefits:

  1. She’ll be thinking about you more
  2. She’ll “have” to return it to you, giving you another chance for a conversation

Will this tip get her to be your girlfriend? No, of course not. However, it’s a nice, easy step to take that can put you closer to getting that relationship.

22. Make her curious about you

When a girl is curious about you and the things you’re doing in life, she’ll naturally want to spend time trying to uncover the mystery that is you.

Here are practical examples from 17 steps to seduce, manipulate and control girls | datingarmory.com

  1. 1
    Listen to her entire life’s story (name, age, school, parents, childhood, her breakups) before revealing anything about yourself.
  2. 2
    While sharing your story, hide as many names as you can, just say “a friend” or “some guy.”
  3. 3
    You can even keep your personality a mystery: go from being shy to uncontrollably bold.
  4. 4
    Act like a coquette so that she doesn’t even know if you like her – the number one way to bore a girl to death is to tell her how much you’re in love with her.

Obviously, there’s so much more to making a girl curious, I mean there’s a fantastic book all about this called The Mystery Method, however those 4 techniques should suffice for now.

23. Make her jealous of the other girls in school or college

Guys leave girls alone who try to make them feel jealous about other guys who are hitting on them. 

But girls are just the opposite.

Girls need to feel jealous in order to feel arousal. They need to know that they are not the only one’s chasing after you. (You may have already heard this from the popular saying “girls want to f*ck the guy that other girls want to get with and other guys want to be”.)

Now that you understand the importance of making girls jealous, especially if you want to get a girlfriend fast, how do you actually do it?

  1. 1
    Complain about all the thirst texts you get from other girls 
  2. 2
    Add photos to your social media of you and other girls having a great time (she doesn’t know if you’re just friends or dating them)
  3. 3
    Flirt with other girls while casually spending time with your girl while not taking it too far that she can still rationalize it as “being polite”
  4. 4
    Complain about girls treating you like a sex object 
  5. 5
    Tell her all about a super fun date you had the other day with ___ without leaving out any details
  6. 6
    Tell her that no one can sexually fulfill you (blowjob, etc) like that girl you briefly met last week
  7. 7
    Be overly friendly or even date one of her friends that she knows is hotter than her
  8. 8
    Improve your Sexual Marketplace Value (SMV) by getting fit, making more money and improving your dating skills so that she automatically assumes other girls are hitting on you
  9. 9
    Ask her why this girl you know is always trying to pump up your ego by giving your compliments, calling you by your name, etc.
  10. 10
    [assuming you already have some friendship] Leave at night every so often when she’s expecting you, but never tell her where you’ve been
  11. 11
    Get off the phone like you we’re just having a fun conversation, and when she asks who you were speaking with, casually mention it was with a girl you bumped into earlier
  12. 12
    If you hang out as friends, start pulling away more and more and make it seem like other girls have her attention

Pretty darn sure my next article will be all about this, so be sure to check DatingArmory later. But for now, these 12 techniques are most definitely more than enough. 

Giving another girl a gift like flowers can easily make your main girl jealous enough to want to be your girlfriend

Giving another girl a gift like flowers can easily make your main girl jealous enough to want to be your girlfriend

24. Add a personal message to her yearbook

Here’s a cute way to get a girlfriend for the summer:

Before the school ends for the year and everyone is adding a message to each other's yearbook, make sure to leave your own flirty message for him so that he knows to get in touch with you throughout the summer.  

25. Catch her eyes for a moment

An obvious, but neglected way to catch her attention before opening her is to make brief eye contact, just enough to let her know that there’s a spark.

26. Smile when you see her

When you smile when you see your crush, you’re telling her that “I’m happy to see you and I enjoy you being around”.

It’s super innocent, doesn’t require much skill and works whether you’re in 3rd Grade/ elementary school or in your last year of college.

Make it a habit.

Side note:

You can learn all the about the power of smiling and how women use it to their advantage in this article: 43 Exclusive Methods To Flirt With a Guy In Any Situation [& Countless Examples] | datingarmory.com

27. Show her that you’re leveling up 

We need a bit of an introduction to understand why “Show her that you’re leveling up” is crucial for guys at your age.

Rich Cooper often says: Women don't care about the struggle, they hang out at the finish line and f*ck the winners.

And yes, he’s right: hypergamy is every woman’s sexual strategy. Women want to mate with the best possible guy they can get with as you can see in Cooper's video below:

But as Rollo Tomassi explains:

Hypergamy isn’t a straight jacket. Not all women can afford to wait for the top 1% man. So most women do is go for the guy that seems like he'll become the top 1% man in the future.

The reason why I brought this up is to say that as a low value young man, still studying in school, it pays to appear like you’re on your way to becoming a top 1% man. For example:

  1. Make it clear that you go to the gym daily
  2. Work hard in school
  3. Work on your own small business
  4. Join public speaking clubs
  5. Make lots of friends

And then when girls see you like this in school, they will feel attracted to you even though you’re not technically a 1% man yet.

28. Get people talking about you

There’s negative attention and then there’s positive attention. Get the latter. 

Part three: Talking to your soon-to-be girlfriend

29. Look for signs in school that your girl likes you

Remember, in school, it’s not worth making a mistake with a girl. Your reputation will stay with you throughout your years in that school. 

So you gotta make sure that she already has some feelings for you too before you start talking by looking out for the following signs:

  1. 1
    She stares at you with imaginary eyes full of desire
  2. 2
    Will she drop her friends just to be friendly with you?
  3. 3
    Does she try to get close to you in dance class or maybe around the halls?
  4. 4
    Is she super giggly around you?
  5. 5
    She’s mean to you, but in a teasing way
  6. 6
    She's kinda awkward around you
  7. 7
     She says hello, good morning, etc. with every chance that she gets
  8. 8
    Her friends giggle around you
  9. 9
    Her friends take secret pictures of you

(If she’s a shy girl, you’ll want to read this article: How To Tell If a Shy Girl Likes You In 13 CLEAR Ways | datingarmory.com.) 

Now that you have these signs down, you’re ready to move on to start talking to her without risking your reputation in school.

30. Always have a go-to thing to talk about

Having some engaging topic that works to start up any conversation will massively help you with women and life in general. 

Here are some examples from my article: 16 steps to start a conversation with a girl with examples | datingarmory.com:

  1. Talk about a crazy, fun date you had with a girl the other day
  2. Talk about your goals and your story of how you’re working to reach them
  3. Talk about a funny sibling 
  4. Talk about pets
  5. Talk about the funniest prank you’ve ever pulled off
  6. Talk about a big lunch you’ll be making later 
  7. Talk about the story behind your tattoo

Now that you have a cool topic to talk about (not a horror story!), you’ll already feel more confident approaching the hot girl in your school.

31. Don’t talk about how this is your first time with a girl 

Without getting into the details, girls want a guy who’s been with all the girls and has the experience to make him the man who he is today. 

So even though you haven’t had the time to get the experience to make you a “real man”, don’t announce to the world that you’re still a virgin. It’s not cute!

But what if she asks me if I’m a virgin? 

Here’s how you respond:

I definitely feel like one, haven’t gotten a blowjob in 2 f*cking days!

OR (the classic response):

You mean today? Maybe 3-4 girls, not sure. Are we including blowjobs? 

32. Directly ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend

Sometimes, all it takes is having some balls, a nice pickup line and bang! You have a girlfriend.


“Damn, I’ve been seeing you around. Aren’t you the cutest girl? Want to be my girlfriend?”

Will it always work? Of course not. However, If you’ve been noticing sign after sign that she’s obsessed with you, your chances of failure are pretty low.

33. Use The Compliment-Question Technique 

You may prefer some of the options coming up, but always keep this technique in the back of your head because The Compliment-Question Technique works in any situation.

So what is The Compliment-Question Technique?

  1. Start with a Compliment, e.g. “Wow, your hair is gorgeous!”
  2. And finish off with a question, e.g. “How is [your hair] so shiny and natural looking?”

Here’s why you should use this every time you approach a girl in college:

  1. You’re giving her a compliment which is great for building rapport
  2. You’re avoiding the friend zone by immediately telling her that you’re sexually attracted to her
  3. You’re finishing up with a question (“How is your hair so shiny and natural looking?”) so that the conversation doesn’t get awkward after your compliment 
  4. You’re showing interest in her by asking a question about herself which will flatter her 

You can get a large list of examples here: Best 53 Compliments for a Girl's Picture and Her Photo | datingarmory.com

34. Ask for directions to your classroom

First off, this only works on the first day of the year.

Second of all, asking a girl for directions will only give you an opportunity to talk to her. If you don’t give her a compliment or start some sort of conversation as she’s giving you directions, you’ll lose your opportunity. 

Besides that, asking a girl for directions is a simple way to open up a girl and eventually make her your girlfriend.

35. Sneak a personal message in her notebook

This is some elementary-school-firty shit here, but hell, why not include it too?

Sneak in a personal note to her calendar (don’t make it anonymous) basically booking a date with her with a cute compliment. 

36. Return her favor(s)

Super easy to do in school:

Borrow a pencil, some potato chips, whatever - then return it to her, but give her a nice compliment, introduce yourself and try having a conversation. 

37. Ask her to study with you in class

Be careful with this one, you can easily fall into the deep pit of the friend zone! 

Here are some guidelines to follow:

  1. If you’re gonna ask a girl to study with you, be sure to make it obvious from the beginning that you’re interested in her romantically.
  2. You can bring along a friend who’s in on the secret and can help you get with the girl
  3. Start by asking her how she did on the recent science test (assuming she’s in your class): if she failed, offer to study with her. If she got an A+, ask for some help with your homework.

Besides that, it’s a decent way to get warmed up by a girl.

38. Ask her to join to come with you to the school dance

If you’re a shy guy - skip this one.

For the extroverted guys out there, there are so many reason why you’d wanna dance with your girl:

  1. You’re being seen at your best
  2. You’re showing her your cool dancing skills
  3. You develop a romantic connection together by singing together + using the power of touch

And when you do invite her to the school dance, don’t beat around the bush talking about the school flyer! Be direct, tell her that you want to dance with her.

39. Ask her boyfriend type questions

If you want to create that deep relationship, you gotta first start with that emotional connection that is built from asking personal questions and here’s a list of examples just for you:

  1. What is your favorite compliment to receive?
  2. Do you like the idea of a romantic candlelit dinner date?
  3. Do you enjoy dancing with a partner? What’s your favorite style?
  4. Do you like long walks on the beach at sunset?
  5. Did you have an awkward-looking phase or have you always been this pretty?
  6. 150 Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl That'll Make Her Laugh | datingarmory.com
  7. What does your dream bathroom look like?
  8. What is the weirdest conversation you have overheard?
  9. When was the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs?
  10. Who is your celebrity crush?
  11. 100 Weird [And Unusual] Questions To Ask A Girl | datingarmory.com
  12. Would you rather do it in your parents house or in public? 
  13. Does the idea of getting caught turn you on?
  14. Would you rather eat out a girl or give a guy a blowjob?
  15. Do you prefer having sex on the bed or in the shower?
  16. 150 Dirty [And Sexy] Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend | datingarmory.com 
  17. What event has had the largest impact on your life?
  18. If you could go back in time, where would you go and why?
  19. What do you think your parents regret about the way they raised you?
  20. 100 Deep, Personal Questions to Ask a Girl to Create a Deep Connection

Getting into the habit of casually asking these questions in your conversations will make your relationships a lot deeper.  

Are you a bisexual guy? Check out my guide to getting a gay boyfriend!

40. Be busy with your things while talking to her

There are several ways to seem “busy” while talking to your girl:

  1. Rearranging your binders/ folders/ papers
  2. Munching an a snack
  3. Playing with your phone

But why!? Why wouldn’t you want to give a girl your full attention?

Technically, you are right. There IS nothing wrong with giving your full attention to your future girlfriend.

The problem begins when guys eagerly throw their attention to any girl that smiles at them - and that reeks neediness which is repulsive.

Therefore, to stay on the safe side, I recommend you start your approach, seeming half-busy fixing your folders, as a way to play hard to get and gain that confident energy

There’s also a couple side reasons why you’d specifically want to bring water to your approach:

  1. Sudden anxiety may get to your throat which will cause it to get all dried up (does not look good when you suddenly start coughing mid-conversation)
  2. Having water on hand allows you to take a sip whenever you need a moment to think about your next words
  3. Drinking water always makes the conversations more natural/casual and less “robotic” - “See, I drink water!”
  4. If both of you are drinking water it subconsciously makes whoever you’re taking to feel more comfortable around you because “you do the same things”

You can learn more about that in this article guide: 48 Proven Methods To Talk More Clearly, Confidently And Slowly [+ Sound More Masculine].

41. Don’t respond to everything she says 

Another way to avoid that neediness and appear confident is to stop responding to every little, insignificant thing she says.

  1. Complaining about stupid stuff
  2. Mentioning random facts
  3. Asking for things she could easily do herself
  4. Getting all emotional over small things (don’t be an emotional tampon: A man who is used by a woman as a shoulder to cry on and then discarded [8]) 

If you’re not sure about what to ignore and what to reply to, just imagine she was your 7 year old sister saying the same shit she’s saying now… would you still respond?

42. Make your girlfriend feel powerful emotions

Whether you’ve made her your girlfriend already or not is irrelevant because you’re about to learn a universal law of nature that applies to all females: girls need to feel excitement, fear, drama and all sorts of crazy emotions in order to feel passionate in any relationship.

Girls hate boring guys! This goes way beyond having fun conversations, it’s about having a crazy life together.

Enough ranting, here are some examples so you understand what I mean:

  1. Explore an abandoned house as a date
  2. Kissing her in the elevator when anyone could walk in at any moment
  3. Pinning her against the wall, making out then taking her to the bedroom
  4. Visiting a horror house together
  5. Go to an amusement park
  6. Having a pillow fights together
  7. Having sex at a crazy place (church, roof of a building, library bathroom, etc.) 

43. Flirt with her constantly

I’ve already put together a flirting guide for girls: 43 Exclusive Methods To Flirt With a Guy In Any Situation [& Countless Examples] | datingarmory.com, but what about a flirting guide guys!?

OK, a flirting guide is coming for guys soon, but for now, here are the basics

  1. Ask her flirty questions (pick any examples from my giant list: 150 Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl That'll Make Her Laugh | datingarmory.com 
  2. Tease her in her ability to attract you or sexually satisfy you
  3. Be hot and cold (coquette): one day kiss her on the forehead and the other day, be too busy to talk about anything (make your attention nearly impossible to earn)

44. Let her show off

If she’s got some cool new toy or accomplished something big, be happy about it. Don’t fall for what other gurus teach about acting like some kind of robot-alpha male. 

45. Lean into the awkwardness 

At your age (even if you’re in high-school), you simply haven't had the time to build core confidence and neither has anyone else. 

So what does that leave us with?


So here’s what I say: lean into it. The worst thing you could do is resist the awkwardness because it only gets worse and grows. And with time, don’t worry, your confidence will naturally grow. 

46. Make her laugh

Developing your sense of humor to make your girl laugh is great and everything. It’ll absolutely help you get a girlfriend. 


Don’t fall into the trap that having a sense of humor is all you need. 

It’s not uncommon for girls to make genuinely funny guys wait 5 dates before touching their dick! Again, being funny is attractive, but not necessarily arousing. 

47. Be interested in what she’s interested in

I know this is a classic “How To Make Friends And Influence People” technique, nevertheless, you should get into the habit of allowing people (not just girls) to talk about the things they’re passionate about.

Most people just try to sound interested, but here’s how I do it:

  1. I enter her spirit (as The Art of Seduction would say) i.e. I enter her mind
  2. I start to see the world from her perspective
  3. I implicitly understand why ___ topic is so interesting to her (because I feel that way too as I’ve entered her spirit)
  4. I have a engage with her about ___ topic 

Most people are attractive. I am seductive.

48. Have an inside joke between you

Doesn’t matter where the inside-joke comes from, but having that “secret” between you really makes it easier to get to that couple relationship status. 

49. Have female friends in college

Not all girls you approach in school or college will become your girlfriend - no matter how good you are - and I hope that’s a given. 

However, that doesn’t mean you were wasting your time with those chicks because you can easily pivot and make them your good female friends which will make all the other girls think: “damn this guys hot, he always has girls around him (not knowing they are just friends) - I want to get with him too”.

Part four: Dating your new girlfriend in school/ college

50. Always start with group dates

At the beginning of your dating as a young couple, I recommend you start with group dates for several reasons:

  1. You’ll feel less pressure to entertain her
  2. You can bring along a friend and his girlfriend to secretly help you out
  3. It’ll be a lot easier to have fun together whether your at the mall or a sporting event

Obviously, once you feel more comfortable alone, having your own dates together is much preferred. 

If you need more first date ideas, go through the list I put together in this article: What to do on a First Date: 23 Creative Ideas | datingarmory.com

51. Ask her out on a date 

Whether you’re having a group date or a “personal” date, how do you even ask a girl out for a date in school? Try any of the following 8 techniques: 

  1. 1
    Sneak in a personal message in her notebook asking her out on a date (super cute, but only for the younger guys)
  2. 2
    This is how I’d ask a girl out over text in school: ask her if she likes doing ___ activity that you already know she likes doing. When she replies with yes, suggest that you go on a date together doing ___ activity
  3. 3
    Use what she says to get a date, for example: one morning she can’t stop complaining about how tired she is, suggest that you go grab a coffee together (it’s quite possible that she’s actually telling you how tired she is to get you to ask her out!)
  4. 4
    If you’ve read 17 Subtle Ways To Get A Guy To Ask You Out & 5 Things You Must Never Do Try, you’d know that I tell girls to use this method all the time: tell her about a special event coming to your city and that you’re dying to go. If you notice that she’s sounds interested, suggest that you go together as a date
  5. 5
    Piggybacking off of that, you could also approach her about that special event telling her that you have an extra ticket (a friend dropped out last minute) and that you’d be thrilled if she’d come along
  6. 6
    Ask her to study with you then use that as a date (be super careful with this one, as many guys have fallen into the friend zone. Always make your intentions clear from the beginning) 
  7. 7
    The direct method: assuming that she already knows who you are; approach her in college with a nice compliment and then ask her if she’d like to ___ date idea (again, read the following article for some examples: What to do on a Date: 49 Creative Things to do | datingarmory.com
  8. 8
    If you’ve been seeing sign after sign that she’s obsessed with you, be “cocky-funny” and ask her “so what’s taking you so long? When are you gonna ask me out?”

Now that you’re officially dating as a couple, it’s time to cement the relationship so that you stay boyfriend & girlfriend!

52. Have fun above all else

Repeat after me: 

Girls just wanna have fun!
Girls just wanna have fun!
Girls just wanna have fun!

If you’re living in your head and thinking about your every move, girls are gonna get bored AF and move on to a guy that gives them the tingles. 

Here’s a perfect example that I found while doing research for this article: 

The dumbest pickup line that worked for me was during the night game. I walked up to a girl and said 'Help me!'. She was like 'What's wrong?'. I said 'Help, someone put Viagra in my drink'. This is honestly the most retarded line I've ever used but she laughed and we made out that night. Always makes me crack up when I think about it.

You gotta stop giving a fuck about gaining her validation and start living for fun like the 5 year old you would. 

These examples should put your in the right directions:

  1. Having simple fun at the park swings by pushing her a little too far (it shouldn’t take ten thousand dollars to make you happy)
  2. Crack jokes together while waiting in line for pizza
  3. Tell stories that may or may not be true
  4. Tease each other like crazy
  5. When around her, stop taking the world seriously as a man. Enter her fantasy world while dating her. 
  6. Dance to some music without caring about how you look. 

Again, just have fun, just take the following video from twitter as an example - having fun transcends age:

It goes without saying, avoid any drugs or alcohol, it’s not good for anyone, plus you should learn to have fun without all that shit in your system.

53. Hold her hand

I’ve got a guide all about holding your girlfriends’ hand, so read that for some in depth info - How to Hold a Girl's Hand in 9 Simple Ways | datingarmory.com -  but for now, here’s the TL;DR…

  1. Offer to hold her hand when she feels slightly uncomfortable (crazy guy on the sidewalk, cold outside, crossing the road)
  2. Hold her hand when you can tell that you’re both feeling love for each other 
  3. Hold her hand as a way to teasingly pull her in

54. Kiss her well

Holding a girls hand is all good and fine, but you can’t call her your girlfriend unless you’ve kissed her and God forgive because I’ve written way too many articles about kissing girls:

  1. How to Kiss a Girl In 17 Easy to Follow Steps | datingarmory.com 
  2. 10 rejection-proof ways to tell or ask a girl for a kiss | datingarmory.com 
  3. 11 Dead-Simple Steps & 32 Examples to Lean in for a Kiss | datingarmory.com 
  4. 13 Signs [With 53 Examples] to Tell if a Girl Wants to Kiss You | datingarmory.com 
  5. When to KISS a Girl: The 9 Prime Times | datingarmory.com 
  6. How to KISS a Girl on The First Date In 8 Irresistible Ways | datingarmory.com 
  7. 11 Steps to Kiss a GIRL for The First Time With Total Confidence | datingarmory.com  

As you can already guess, I won’t go through the steps of actually kissing a girl at school, however I do encourage you to look through at least some of those articles as they are packed with valuable tips.

55. Be the dominant one in the relationship

Why do you, as a guy, need to be the dominant one in the relationship?

It’s quite simple:

  • Girls are mostly feminine.
  • Men are masculine. 
  • Opposites attract.

Now that we got that down, how do you maintain sexual dominance in a high school/ college relationship to keep that passion between you?

First off, here’s what you don’t do:

  1. Bark out orders (coming from a place of force, instead of strong power)
  2. Thinking that any external thing can make you dominant (can help, but is not the core of dominance) 
  3. Not listening when she asks you to stop or needs after-care

And now for what you want to do (think of this as a ‘how to have sex in high school guide’):

  1. Be physically dominant i.e. be more muscular that her
  2. Use your physical dominance in your sexual relationship, millions of possible examples, here’s one: forcing her against the wall to kiss her the lift her up to your bed
  3. Need her less than she needs you (internal dominance)
  4. Dress in a dominant way (pink shoes aint’ it)
  5. Be the one to decide where you’re going on your next date
  6. Don’t hesitate about the type of food to order. Know it in advance and choose for her.
  7. Lead her to her submissive place carefully and lovingly (i.e. by demonstrating vulnerability yourself or talking about things you’re not comfortable doing)
  8. Get her to dress up and act for you
  9. Worship her body in a dominating way: I love that fat ass of yours, made to f*cked my me (i.e. your body was made to pleasure me)

Lastly, keep learning about dominance/submissive - look out for a full guide coming out soon on DatingArmory!

Good luck, 

Colt Smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work