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Learning how to approach a girl at the gym may be the most crucial skill to get if you are looking to get laid with smoking hot girls.

We both know that the girls with the hottest bodies go to the gym. But there is another advantage to approaching in the gym:

You fit in. She knows why you are there.

How to approach a girl at the gym

You aren’t some 35 year old hanging out on a college campus. Going to the right venue is the most important thing you can do besides upping your game.

You’ll have stuff to talk about and creating the crucial emotional connection will be easy.

And just to give credit, I learned these 9 steps from a course by Sebastian Harris called The Rise of The Phoenix. If you are already getting laid often this course isn’t for you. But if you feel that you need some help why not learn more about it?

1. Get the right Mindset 

Having the right mindset is the most important thing you can do. It’s much more important than any motivational speech you might hear.

What is the most important mindset? Believing that “I am an attractive man.”

A lot of guys, especially at the beginning of their journey, put women on a pedestal. They look up to women believing they are better than them.

That kills all the potential attraction. 

They don’t realize that women are attracted to that masculine look and crave masculinity. They don’t see what they have to offer.

And that’s what I mean when I say get the right mindset. I mean stop believing that just because a girl has some cleavage she’s better than you.

By the way, you may have seen this play out in your life already. If you’ve approached an  average looking girl did you feel more confidence? Was she more attracted to you?

I’m sure she was. But you could have the same confidence and attraction with stunning girls. Why don’t you?

Because you put them on a pedestal. You believe they are better than you.

2. Don’t approach girls while they are busy

The last thing you want to do is approach her while she’s sweating away during her workout. The best place you want to start talking is at the water fountain or as she’s walking out.

But if you notice that she’s constantly taking these long breaks and then gives you a look or she’s always working out on your side of the gym, she’s giving you a green light.

It’s all about having that awareness.

3. build your status

This is taking step one to a whole new level so I figured it deserves it’s own piece.

Before you even open your mouth she has to know 1 thing very clearly: you are a high status man. This applies to any approach, but more so in the gym because there are many other strong, dominant men.

You need to stand out as a masculine man. That’s the one thing that will make your chances much higher.

But how do you do this?

You can follow the later steps in the post, but right now just focus on dressing as a man. You want to reflect a high level of self-respect.

I must add having a sports car and the hottest clothing has a very strong effect on women. They instinctively gravitate to wealthy men because it’s a sign of status.

You might not have that money yet, but you can start now by building an online business. And in a year from now you’ll be driving a nice car with a model sitting beside you.

4. The pre-approach

There are 3 things every man must do before he starts talking to a girl:

Getting in front of her

Guys don’t know this, but girls also get scared when they get approached. They don’t know who you are or what you want (unless you are approaching them at the bar).

In addition, the second you start talking to her she’ll start feeling insecure about herself. She doesn’t know if she’s hot enough and she’ll start comparing herself with other girls.

So all you need to do in order to make her feel more comfortable is get in front of her. Let her see you first. Then… 


There’s nothing much to explain. Just have a nice smile that makes her feel that you’re happy to see her.

Make eye contact

This shows that you aren’t afraid of talking to her. You are also telling her very clearly: I want to speak to you, it gives her time to mentally prepare for a high status man like you to approach her.

5. Relax

Even though I’m telling you that you’ve got to follow all 9 of these steps and it’s so easy to get stuck in your head, remember this: relax.

Being relaxed displays authentic confidence to women. I’ve talked about confidence in just about every post about approaching women, but lets review it:

Being confident does not mean that you are superman and you believe you can change the world and save everyone. It simply means you are OK with yourself.

It means you know that people will like you and so you can talk to people with this calm energy. You have nothing to prove to anyone.

So don’t get caught up with all the things you think you need to get perfect. Just chill.

6. Talk to her in the right way

While you are approaching her you are probably asking yourself what to say or you might be thinking of a pickup line and that’s fine. But just remember this:

You can also just keep it simple: introduce yourself, tell her where you are from and what you do. From there you can get a good conversation going without much effort.

And by the way, at the end of the day, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. So as long as you talk in a way that says I belong here you’ll do fine.

Are putting out good, natural vibes or are you trying too hard, putting out intense energy? Practice having simple conversations while making the girl feel good and your energy will improve in no time.

7. Tell her how long you’ll be talking

This can apply to most approaches, but it’s especially useful while talking to girls at the gym

Girls at the gym aren’t hanging out there like it’s a club ready to get hit on. They are there to get their workout in and leave.

But if you tell her that you only need 2 minutes she will be much more likely to let you start talking to her.

Say something like this “Hey, I know you are super busy, but just give me 2 minutes”. You don’t have to say it in a needy way.

You are telling her that I value your time, but I am worth listening to.

8. Compliment her

Being at the gym makes it much easier to come up with a good opening compliment. You can compliment her form. Tell her that she has the best form than anyone else in the gym.

You could also compliment her workout clothing. If you’ve got the confidence, compliment her bra! Tell her that you never knew she was this busty until you saw her from up close!

Or maybe something a little softer like “you look amazing and you’ve got a bust that most girls would die for.”

As long as she feels better about herself and you can make her laugh at the same time you are doing fine. And as a general rule the faster you get sexual with a girl, the faster she’ll get turned on.

9. Dealing with rejection

Even if you have your game down perfectly and you are in the best gym she might reject you. 

The best thing you can do is relax and let her go. Don’t force it. I mean you’ll be seeing this girl again and if you get reactive when she says no you’ll make it very awkward for yourself every time you see her.

If she says no, let her go. Just tell her to take it as a compliment.

Realize that it might have nothing to do with you. She might be having a rough day or be on that special day of the month girls get cranky…

And if you notice that you could’ve approached her better than take those mental notes and improve. Either way there is no reason to take rejection personally.


I really hope this post helped you out. If you are looking for more practical examples for talking to girls I recommend you check out my post on how to talk to girls at the gym.

And by the way, make sure you go to the gym closest to your home. This way you’ll be making  it super easy for her to get into your home and in bed with you. No half hour train rides!

Your friend,



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