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How To Approach a GIRL In The Bar In 11 Effective Techniques

Learning how to approach girls at the bar is arguably one of the most important skills you can learn in pickup.

You will learn how to make a girl like you. You’ll also learn the basics of flirting and how you can tell if a girl is flirting with you.

But it doesn’t come without a cost. If you are a beginner be ready to work hard and get rejected.

Your first approaches won’t be that good. But if you push through and approach girls on a consistent basis you’ll be getting laid in no time.

It has a lot to do with practice, but there are techniques worth studying. That’s why I’m writing this article for you…

And to give credit for this post: I learned these techniques from Joshua Pellicer, the creator of a solid attraction and seduction course that I’ll tell you about later.

1. Take it slow

I agree, girls go to the bar with their friends to have fun, but most of them also want to meet a guy. For a hookup or to get a boyfriend.

So they want you to approach them. But here’s where guys get a little too excited.

Don’t start your interaction with her by putting your arm around her! You are guaranteeing a rejection.

Girls want to take it slow. Even though these horny girls also want to hookup, they don’t want to look like they are just after sex. [12]

You need to casually start the conversation and as she starts to like you, start following the steps to make a girl horny.

2. Approach her while she’s standing up

This is a crucial step for beginners. 

As a beginner, you won’t know how to make a girl feel comfortable.

And making a girl comfortable is what makes her OK with you getting inside of her. So this is massively important.

As a beginner you might be speaking too quickly and she will feel uncomfortable. That’s why you approach her while she’s standing up or walking.

This gives her a feeling that you aren’t pinning her down or trying to force yourself on her. You are giving her space and if she wants to leave she can.

So even though you might still be talking quickly to her, she’ll still feel comfortable enough to continue the conversation.

3. Have Confidence

Yes, I know you know this already. Every course or book you’ve ever gotten has told you the same thing – “be confident”.

But I feel like the definition of confidence has been a little skewed. Confidence does not mean that you are Mr. powerful and strong.

It simply means you are chilled and relaxed. That’s it. You don’t have to be some emotionless robot to seem confident!

Girls love the type of confidence where you can just start talking to her. Coming with the energy that you have plenty to give.

Being hesitant is the worst. It makes you seem like a creep she’ll feel that you have something to hide from her. 

The confident guy has nothing to hide from her which makes her trust him.

And when you do approach her with that confident energy, bring fun, high energy with you.

The reason is very simple: girls come to the bar to feel those fun vibes, they want that high energy. So get yourself in a good mood before every approach. [3, 4]

4. Don’t be crazy

Many guys get drunk before they start approaching because they can’t be confident about who they are. They feel that they aren’t attractive enough.

You don’t need to do that. You don’t need to act crazy to get girls.

You are attractive to women. You have plenty to offer and the only thing you are missing is confidence.

That calm, cool energy is what makes girls like you. It’s that simple!

You have the option of following The Tao of Badass seduction program. This is the course that I mentioned earlier that inspired me to write this post.

But it’s not for everyone.

If you are already getting laid when you want it’s NOT for you.

If you know how to talk to girls and bring them home don’t get this course.

If you know how to make a girl kiss you, you don’t need it at all. 

But if you are still struggling with women and getting laid I think it’ll give you what you are looking for.

5. Get her attention

You’ve got to learn how to get a girls attention when you are at the bar.

Do not:

  1. Talk loudly 
  2. Interrupt her
  3. Tap her on the shoulder

What you want to do is calmly get her attention. Come from the side so that she sees you.

This is true whenever you are approaching a girl. Let the girl see you first. Talking loudly is the last thing you want to do.

But I don’t mean you can’t approach a girl when she’s with her friends. You can, but don’t do it in an interrupting way.

Don’t just come in and introduce yourself. 

Instead do this:

  1. Compliment her whole friend group
  2. Be friendly with all of them
  3. Then tell the girl you like that you have a crush on her
  4. Then pull her out of the group and start talking

You see, it’s really simple! She will be so happy that you approached her that way.

6. Make her comfortable with her friends

This does connect to what we just said:

When girls are come to the bar with their friends they also want to be approached by a cool guy, yet that still doesn’t mean she wants to leave her friends.

Don’t take her away from her friends too quickly. I know you are feeling fear and you just want to grab her already, but please wait.

The less needy you are, the more attracted she’ll feel to you.

So have some fun with her friends first. Make jokes. Then pull her out and follow through with all the steps.

7. Create an emotional connection

Creepy dudes hide themselves because they don’t believe they are likable enough. But not you.

The first thing you do after you compliment her and introduce yourself is to start connecting to her. Be genuine.

Your goal is to make her feel understood and to build an emotional connection to her.

How can you do that?

You can first make a joke about yourself or even her. Make a joke about anything.

This takes away all awkwardness and shyness. You are both laughing.

Then find out what she loves to do. Ask her what she does in her free time. 

You’ll learn in the course I told you about earlier all about the power of assumptions. But here I’ll give you a brief summary:

All you need to do is assume something about her. For example:

  1. You look like a professor at an university
  2. You look like you’re from Mexico 
  3. You look like you’re trying to seduce me
  4. You seem like a girl that doesn’t care about anyone

And you can totally play with this by purposely saying something ridiculous. Take what I wrote earlier as an example:

If she is revealing as much cleavage as she can, assume that she’s a professor. And then when she laughs tell her that she must be a little naughty with her students…

If she’s clearly Russia, tell her you must be from Costa Rica. You’ll get the “WHAT” reaction from her followed by a good laugh.

Now she gets the chance to talk about herself, where she’s from, what she does and everything good. This is how you develop that emotional connection to her.

8. Take her somewhere

So you are having an engaging conversation is there anything else that you can do?

Yes! Don’t be afraid to take her places.

Take her to your friends. Take her outside the bar and start making out.

And if she’s feeling it you can even take her back to your apartment and get right inside her.

Don’t let yourself let yourself get frozen with her in the bar.

9. Deal with rejection

If you are successful with girls you will also get rejected way more often… what!?

Here’s what you need to understand: it’s a numbers game.

Even if you are the number one seducer, you’ve studied everything in the course and you’ve practiced for 10,000 hours you’ll still get rejected!

Some girls won’t be into you. That’s 1000% fine.

The way you deal with rejection in a bar is simple:

Don’t let it get to your head. Realize that she could be in a bad mood or maybe you just approached her at the wrong time.

And all you need to do is approach her later. That’s great. But never take a rejection personally.

There is nothing wrong with you just because this girl doesn’t like you. 

Plus if you do let this rejection affect your energy the next girl you approach will sense that and will be more likely to reject you too! Don’t let one girl ruin your whole night.

10. Make her work for your attention

Let me quote you from the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene:

“We want what other people want. To draw your victims closer and male them hungry to possess you, you must create and aura of desirability – of being wanted and courted by many.”

This is a natural response for humans. We desire what we see everyone else desires.

Getting what everyone wants can give us a sense of status. All you need to go is have a group of girls around you while you start talking to the girl you like.

She will feel that you are a prized man and will work hard to get your attention.

And because I like you I’ll give you another tactic:

As you are talking to her, let your eyes wander off and start to look at other girls at the bar. Look at them in a way that shows you desire them.

The girl that you are talking to will feel that she’s not desirable enough for you. That’s one of the greatest fears that a woman can feel.

She will burn with jealousy and do anything to get your attention from the other girls. Now that she’s working to get you, she is your victim.

11. Close the deal

You’ve created that emotional connection. Awesome. Now she likes you.

What do you do now?

You have a couple options:

Get her number

If you want to get to know her more or possibly make her your girlfriend get her number. Be simple, tell her that you like her and you’d want to meet up again.

Then ask her for her number, give her a big hug and leave. And once you leave, send her a funny text message so that you keep the connection going.

And don’t wait to set the date, you like her and she likes you – don’t lose that energy. 

Take her home

This is the much better option because girls that you get from bars are much more likely to ghost you.

Even if you want to build a relationship with the girl you better sleep with her that night. You can invite her over to your place and be overt about it. Some girls like that.

Or you can tell her that you’ve got some amazing pictures that she needs to see and then take it from there. Both of them work, it just depends on what you are comfortable with.


I’ve given you my 11 tricks to talking and approaching a girl at your bar. And here they are:

  1. Take it slow
  2. Approach her while she’s standing up
  3. Have Confidence
  4. Don’t be crazy
  5. Get her attention
  6. Make her comfortable with her friends
  7. Create an emotional connection
  8. Take her somewhere
  9. Deal with rejection
  10. Make her work for your attention
  11. Close the deal

But you can take this further. Why only approach women at bars when you can approach them anywhere?

You can start getting threesomes with 2 hot lesbian sisters. Or get a blowjob by making girls crave you to such an extent.

You really don’t have to chain yourself down. You are a man and you deserve as many women as you desire.

That is why the Tao of Badass is the course for you. How do I know?

Because it was the perfect solution for me. It changed every aspect of my dating life. My confidence is not even comparable to what it used to be.


I have 10x my confidence and I know what it takes to make a happily married woman into a horny girl that can’t get enough of me. 

I won’t bore you with the details of what the course offers because Joshua Pellicer, the creator of the course will tell you everything you need to know.

Your friend,