11 Novel Ways To Get Out of The Friend Zone Through Text

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In order to get out of the friend zone through text you need to implement a couple techniques. But before we get started I recommend you first read how to get out of the friend zone.

That post will teach you all the basics and you’ll be ready to dive into these specific techniques you can use over text.

Texting itself is incredibly powerful. You can get a girl to like you by just sending the right text messages at the right time.

And it will definitely help you escape the friend zone, but I must warn you with one thing:

Once you are attracting her and you understand these life changing concepts you will very possibly lose attraction to your crush.

You will start seeing how many more sexy girls there are around you that you won’t feel the need to hand around only your crush. You will start seeing yourself as an attractive man.

And because your skills will increase so will your standards and most likely your former crush won’t meet your new standards and you’ll drop her for a hotter girl.

So keep this in mind and beware of the effects of becoming an attractive man.

1. Change her belief about you

The first step you must take is changing her belief about you. There are 2 ways that a girl sees each man: a friend or a sexual partner.

She has been seeing you as a friend, that is her belief about you. I don’t know for how long she’s been seeing you like this, but it takes time for her to forget that you are just a friend.

That’s why you need to give her time. I mean 2-4 weeks of not even texting her. You need to leave her alone.

That means even if you are bored you still don’t start texting. You need to wait enough time so that by the time you start again with her she’s open to seeing her as a boyfriend. [1, 2]

2. Stop chasing for validation

The next thing you must do is stop chasing for validation. I know she’s a super attractive girl, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be needy. 

Here’s something really important that you need to realize: just because you are not “beautiful” doesn’t mean that you aren’t attractive to girls. Because girls aren’t attracted to beauty in the first place!

Girls simply want a guy with “balls.” A guy that’s assertive and has confidence. A guy who doesn’t care what people think of him.

Girls find that as sexually attractive. My point is, you have plenty of value to offer. Women desire you. 

This just takes the whole reason behind being needy away because you don’t have to be needy. In fact, you are so valuable that women should be needy around you.

Practically this means that when you text this girl you don’t make yourself reply to everything, you don’t care about getting her approval.

By the way, I’ve found a free 90 minute presentation by Joshua Pellicer, the creator of the top seduction course. There he’ll get into the details of making her crave your approval.

This move alone is a giant step in the right direction.  It’s well worth your time.

3. Compliment her

Now that you’ve given her 3 weeks to forget about your “friend title” and you’ve released your need for approval, you are ready to take it to the next level.

Start by simply complimenting her. Compliments are the basis for any relationship because they make everyone feel approved of. 

Feeling approved of is the most important feeling for anyone and that means you need to start feeding her ego. Day by day build it up.

Start by finding the things that she’s most insecure about. Maybe it’s the way her nose looks or maybe she can’t stop worrying about how her skin looks.

Once you find out what she’s not so proud about, that’s your chance to make her feel proud about herself. Compliment those parts of herself.

There are keys to complimenting a girl:

  1. Be specific
  2. Be personal
  3. Be authentic

Say them in a way that makes her heart glow. Here’s an example “you have the most kissable lips.” Or “your dress looks like something a supermodel would wear.”

The point is that you must be creative. Think of something that’s true to you and text her that. You are preparing her to be open for a date.

4. Take the texting slowly

Even though you are rebuilding the connection as a possible sexual relationship it’s important that you take the texting slowly.

Don’t let yourself get all super excited. In fact, the less excitement that you show the more this girl will appreciate you.

This is the same rule that we talked about before. It’s about showing less neediness and allowing her to prove herself to you.

5. Don’t make complicated text messages

The last thing you want to do is make all of your text messages complicated. Even if you have the best joke in the world, but you aren’t sure if she’ll get it, don’t send it.

It’s not worth the confusion. Plus it just makes you look more needy which will put you back in the dreaded friend zone.

6. Criticize her through text

You must be asking “what do you mean criticize her! Didn’t you just say compliment her!”

You are asking a good question and here’s the answer: the goal is to make her as needy as possible so that she needs to chase you like a child for approval.

That’s why I made you compliment her first. That makes her open up to you. She trusts you with her emotions.

But now’s the time you make her feel a sense of shame and neediness so that she has nowhere to run but you. You’ve already discovered what she feels insecure about, so what are you waiting for?

I criticize randomly so she doesn’t think that I have something against her, but she still feels inferior. That’s the best of both worlds.

I don’t mean that you do this all the time. Not at all, that would ruin your chances with her. But a little push/ pull straightens every seduction.

7. Assume that she’s alluring you over text

As you are texting to her and you feel that she likes you do this one move that will close the deal. Text her a message with the underlying point that you know she likes you, but you don’t have time for her.

In other words, assume that she’s in love with you.

  1. “Please try to be a little more discreet about trying to seduce me”
  2. “Girls seduce me best while touching me, you won’t get far by just texting me”
  3. “Seduce me later, I’ve got to get back to work”

You will definitely get a good laugh from her and you’ll be on your way to slip inside of her within the week.

8. Be bold

OK, now I get that asking a girl out over text can be scary, but here are 2 ideas that will help you gain that motivation:

Follow the 3 second rule. This means from the moment that you decide that you will go ask this girl out, you have 3 seconds to do it. 

When you know that there’s no use texting her any longer, you’d better make the move within 3 seconds. You aren’t giving your mind enough time to imagine all the horrible things that might happen.

The next tip I have in order to be a bold man is to imagine the worst case scenario. Let yourself see what could possibly go wrong if everything was terrible.

Let’s say imagine that the worst case scenario is the second you ask her you she starts making fun of you and shows the whole school your pathetic texts. All you need to do is make peace with that. 

Because if you can’t release your fears, why not just accept them and be at peace with them. The saying is true “what you resist, persists.”

With that frame of mind you are ready for the ultimate next step:

9. Ask her over text

The funny thing about texting is that you use it to get out of texting. Texting is just a means to an end. To release you from the friend zone.

The more you text, especially at the beginning of your relationship, the more she’ll friend zone you. You need to get her out of the house and into your bed.

Of course, the fastest way to do that is by asking her out. But what’s the best way to ask a girl out?

Here’s a really simple example that you can copy: “hey Daniella, let’s go grab a coffee at Starbucks.” That’s it. Nothing complex.

You already know the girl so what the point of texting her all sorts of pickup lines, just to get a date. Be simple and honest.

10. Get her to kiss you

The last step before you have officially left the friend zone is kissing her, so I felt that it would only be fit to include my tips to get a girl to kiss you.

You first start by touching her. Caress her arms, then move up to her neck. An easy way to do that is by playing with her necklace. 

Then move down to the small of her back. It’s the area right above the hips. Softly caress it while you compliment her on her body making her feel relaxed. 

Then you want to look deeply in her eyes, not too intensely, but enough that she can feel sexual tension. Make sure your lips are in good shape and when you feel she’s open to a kiss, go in for it.

Some guys worry about getting all the timing right, but the truth is that there is never a perfect time. So you just have to go with it. 

If the 3 second rule helps you to be bold then go for it. 

11. rejection

Rejection is something that has happened to me many, many (many, many) times. The truth is that any man that has gone after women has been rejected.

Even your favorite pickup artist has been rejected countless times and it’s OK. This means that even though you’ve followed all the steps perfectly you might get rejected.

But that is perfectly fine. Being rejected by a girl doesn’t mean that you are an unattractive man and you need to take it personally. It can only means these 2 things:

Number one: she just isn’t a good fit for you. Not every girl will like your style. 

Number two: she’s telling you what works and what doesn’t. You are getting valuable optimization data from her. 

Now you know what you need to improve on for your next approach and your chances of getting laid are much higher. Either way there is no reason to fear rejection.


By now you know exactly how to leverage texting women to your advantage, but why are you chaining yourself down with texting?

There are so many more opportunities outside of the texting world. Maybe you’ve always wanted to become the guy that can get one night stands on demand?

And I don’t blame you, but society makes you wrong and bad for desiring these pleasures that you deserve. That’s why I have a solution for you.

And I think it’s still free…

Joshua Pellicer is the creator of The Tao of Badass course, and now for a limited time he’s got a 100% free presentation that you can watch to learn most of his incredible techniques in half the time.

This is your key to get past texting and I really hope you don’t let this one by. You will learn how to do the things you would have only dreamed about before.

Stop procrastinating and take action now!

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

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