27 Stupidly-Obvious Ways to Become an Attractive Man & Attractive to Girls

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angry men like this are unattractive to women

I know, life’s unfair and in many ways, the system does not favor men, but don’t let that control your emotional state.

And surprise, surprise, women find happy men attractive! When you exude powerful happiness, girls notice you and will find you more attractive than a guy driving a 5 million dollar supercar, after all, happy men are few and far between.

happy men like this are attractive to women

So, how can you regain control over your happiness? While I won't give you 12 rules for life, I'll share with you what works for me:

  1. Have times where you just enjoy yourself. I enjoy dancing to music without any care in the world
  2. Don’t work in emotionally draining job
  3. Learn to ask fun questions that’ll make people/girls laugh: 150 Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl That'll Make Her Laugh
  4. Smile. Why? Because. That’s why.
  5. Hand out compliments from a place of overflowing love and happiness: 215 Compliments for a Girl (Dress, Picture, Eyes, Lips, Hair) 
  6. Be grateful for the small things in life. Yes, I am now your personal-development guru. 
  7. Avoid negative people (what if you find yourself talking to a sad, low-energy girl? Either: Use your solid positive energy to raise her up OR Leave.)

Say it again with me: you don’t need a supercar to stand out. Your authentic happiness will do the trick and sometimes bring better results.

happiness is what women want

2. Get rid of things that make your unattractive 

Look at the following pictures.

Man becoming more attractive example

These are 2 pictures of the same guy. 

I can’t be!
It’s not possible!?

But yes, it is. 

The first picture was taken while he was being bullied.

The second picture was taken after he took responsibility and authority over his appearance

You can do the same. How? Here’s how:

  1. If you need braces, switch to invisalign if possible
  2. Deal with your acne. No it won’t go away as quickly as you think it will. Talk to your dermatologist and tell her/him that it’s harming your self-esteem.
  3. Clean your ears out. Get rid of that excess earwax.
  4. Use lip balm if you’re lips are all cracked up. You need kissable lips
  5. Clean your fingernails. Avoid looking like you just finished your shift at the coal mine.
  6. Clean up your hair (read: Devilishly Attractive: 19 Transformative Techniques To Look More Masculine & Tough
  7. Change clothing and put on a fresh coat of deodorant when you get a sweated up. Or better yet, take a second shower.
  8. Pluck those hairs around your eyebrows/ face that don’t look good
  9. Replace your thick, girl-repellent glasses with contacts or better yet, get LASIK
  10. Shave your head if you’re balding
  11. Get enough sleep so you appear away and don’t get those exhausted eyes [1]
  12. Lose that fat (we’ll have a talk about the gym later)

Of course, I’m not guilty of doing any of these. If fact I was born so perfect that God made me promise not to abuse my overpowering sex appeal. 

But for you, my lowly reader, you gotta stop complaining that people are treating you like shit if you look like shit.

And no, I’m not gonna apologize for that because you know I’m kidding... 

3. Wear a ring

Wear a ring! Why? I’m not married?!

My friend, you just said it. You want to seem married because it’s a sign of pre-selection, i.e. that another woman has already selected you and determined you to be a high value man.

The best part of this trick is that it’s super cheap. Any steel ring will do, as seen in the example below from Amazon:

If this plain style doesn’t fit your personality, look around, out of the 1000’s of rings, one will be perfect for you.

Continuing with our principle that married men are more attractive to women, here are some ways to initially appear “taken”

  1. Seem unavailable for reasons she "cannot know"
  2. Tell her that she can only come over at certain times (and never on holidays)
  3. Avoid giving details about your personal life 
  4. Put her number in your phone as a friend or “accidently” change her name as if you’re scared your “wife” is gonna look through your phone
  5. Pretend to be having a serious phone call with a girl in “private”
  6. Let her see you "hide" your ring at the beginning of your conversation
  7. Disappear after having sex or a romantic date and don’t text her for a good couple of hours
  8. Initially hide your social media from her 

These behaviours won’t work to get a girlfriend as no girl wants to wage war with your current girl to get you for herself. But for casual sex, these behaviours will work miracles. 

4. Exude warmth

Warmth, as defined by Olivia in her book The Charisma Myth, is:

“Warmth, simply put, is goodwill toward others. Warmth tells us whether or not people will want to use whatever power they have in our favor. Being seen as warm means being perceived as any of the following: benevolent, altruistic, caring, or willing to impact our world in a positive way. Warmth is assessed almost entirely through body language and behavior; it's evaluated more directly than power.”

Pure “power” and “presence'' (the 2 other elements of charisma) isn’t enough. You need to project warmth in order to be attractive to girls. Here’s how:

  1. Project warmth in your compliments with your voice
  2. Show her pictures of you playing with dogs (great for a Tinder profile)
  3. Connect over similar experiences 
  4. Tell stories of you being the leader and helping other out of the ‘goodness of my heart”
  5. Feel deep inside that by approaching this girl you are looking to make her day and inviting her onto an exciting adventure with you (Win/Win only)
  6. Mirror her body language 
  7. Slip some adorable vulnerability in the conversation

Remember: It’s about displaying warmth, not being Mr. Nice Guy.

5. Avoid mind numbing activities

Mind numbing activities include:

  1. Playing video games
  2. Scrolling through endless social media feeds 
  3. Watching TV

First off, these “hobbies” keep your mind busy without bringing you any satisfaction. 

Secondly, when girls in your school/college see that this is what you do with your time, you gain the reputation of the boring nerd which makes it exponentially more difficult to get a girlfriend in school.

So what should you do with your free time? Well, if you keep reading, you’ll learn about great hobbies that’ll bring fulfillment into your life. 

6. Wear attractive clothing

Guys go to either expreme with this one. Either:

  1. Look don’t matter and it’s all about your game/charisma
  2. Looks are everything, and if you were born ugly, well, too bad (AKA the Black Pill)

Unsurprisingly, the answer lies in the middle: your personality/game brings you 80 percent of the way there, while looks and other factors will cover the last 20 percent.

Now than we have a balanced view, let’s talk about ways to maximize your appearance: 

  1. Pack on muscle (to be discussed in detail soon)
  2. Add on a jacket to appear more put together
  3. Don’t wear worn out clothing (although some clothing age well with time)
  4. Get that dandruff off your shoulders
  5. Have jewelry, but not too much of it
  6. Do not believe that it takes expensive clothing to get girls
  7. Have one piece of clothing that makes you stand out from the crowd
  8. Have a look. There’s enough guys that look like the average guy. You want to embody a look: the bad boy, gym goer, etc. 

If you’re approaching girls at the gym, read 29 Concrete Steps to Approaching & Talking to Girls at the Gym [With Examples] to learn about the best outfits for the gym that match your body type.

Wearing fitting clothing makes you more attractive to girls

7. Appear taller

As I explain in my guide Devilishly Attractive: 19 Transformative Techniques To Look More Masculine & Tough, the taller you are, the masculine you seem. The more masculine you seem, the more initial attraction you’ll have with women.

So here’s how you can appear taller and become more attractive to girls as a short man:

Wear shoes with tall heels

An easy way to add a couple inches. Take Skechers Men's Sargeants-Verdict Waterproof Boot (Amazon) as an example:

Stand with the correct posture

Stand taller and appear taller.

Wear a hat

Regular baseball cap will do the trick.

Wearing a hat can make you appear taller and therefore, more attractive

Appear slimmer

Shed that extra weight and you’ll appear taller.

Wear monochromatic colors

Wearing monochromatic colors will give the illusion of a longer body as it won’t break your body up horizontally.

Update your hairstyle 

If you got an inch of hair on top of your hair, you’ll gain an inch of height.

Example of how hair can make you appear taller and therefore, more attractive

Lastly, I don’t want you to fret over this height thing, you can make up for it with your raw masculine energy. 

8. Go the the gym

Going to the gym and packing on some muscle is how you become a more physically attractive man. There are so many reasons why girls love muscular guys, however, the only thing you should be focusing on is getting to the gym 5 days a week.

I should add that a side benefit to working out at the gym, is that you have the potential to meet some stunning, fit girls. Read: 29 Concrete Steps to Approaching & Talking to Girls at the Gym [With Examples] 

muscular guys are more attractive to girls

9. Have a purpose 

Having a purpose doesn’t mean you gotta sign up to some religion or cult. 

Having a purpose means you’ve found your true calling and you’re getting paid for it. 

It’s not easy, but I’ll add that some guys have reported success using The Power Quadrant System, so check that out.

10. Develop your sense of humor

We talk a lot about the importance of humor on DatingArmory, but now’s not the time to talk about the evolutionary psychology behind its’ attraction. Instead let’s talk about ways to develop your sense of humor:

  1. Watch a lot of sitcoms (Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, Peep Show, Ricky Gervais)
  2. Always be looking for self-amusement in others, read: The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny] 
  3. Find funny in everything and everywhere, let it become part of your personality
  4. Practice free association 
  5. Accuse her of funny things, again, read: The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny] 
  6. Go to improve classes
  7. Go to an open mike and practice publicly 

Now before you run off buying courses and practicing comedy thinking it’ll get you laid… Well, it won’t. Humor is attractive, but it takes a masculine frame to get you laid.

11. Build your wealth

A lot of guys overthink this. You don’t have to. Wealth is attractive. Period.

The only thing you should be thinking about is how to build your empire and while I won’t be your financial advisor, I’ll tell you that starting an online business is by the far the easiest way to earn a living.

Don’t believe me? Watch The Fast Tracks Webinar by Merlin Holmes.

Good luck.

12. Drive around with a nice car

Do you need a supercar to get laid with 9’s and 10’s? No, but driving a McLaren will get you more attention than driving a 2005 Camry. 

Nice cars can make you seem more attractive

13. Have an exciting life full of adventures

Most guys I coach have jobs they hate, don’t have good hobbies, and barely have any friends. If that fits your description, you gotta change things up… and here’s how:

  1. Quit your job even if that means making less money (or start an online business as mentioned earlier)
  2. Make friends with interesting people who lead adventurous lives. Remember, you become the sum of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.
  3. Find something that you love doing with your free time. Your new hobby must be: A) Something that’ll leave you with stories you can share and B) it can’t be porn or playing video games
  4. Go on outdoor adventures. Mountain biking is a great example: you get fit, it’s cheap and it’s dangerous
  5. Avoid boring coffee dates, always take girls on “action dates” as the great Book of Pook [Free] would say. Examples from What to do on a Date: 49 Creative Things to do: Fun at the park, cooking lunch from food you bought from the farmers market, trampoline park, etc. 
  6. Ride a motorcycle for once in your life, it’s exciting and as Richard Cooper writes in his book The Unplugged Alpha: “The most important skill you learn from riding a motorcycle is situational awareness. You learn to keep your head on a swivel, and you are constantly scanning around you for potential threats. Just about everything else on the road is bigger than you - and can kill you. Being aware of your surroundings at all times is a skill that men need to apply to all areas of their life”
  7. Travel, travel, travel! Yes, even if you don’t have the money. It doesn’t need to be half-way across the world. But why not travel around your country, state or even city?

Having an adventurous life not only makes you a happier man, but it literally makes girls chase after you because you simply have no time for them!

adventurous guys are more attractive

14. Stop putting yourself down

I used to be in favor of self-deprecating jokes, but then I noticed how guys would overdo it and end up placing everyone (especially women) on a pedestal.

Not good. 

I’ve also noticed how a lot of guys apologize for their little mistakes, for example:

  1. Apologizing for forgetting the girls name
  2. Apologizing for interrupting her and approaching her (you need to believe that when you’re approaching a girl, you’re offering her a once in a lifetime opportunity of fun with you)
  3. Apologizing for mistakes the girls made, e.g. spilling her drink, tripping over something small, etc.

These are all very unattractive traits and it pays to root them out.

15. Learn to tease

Ohhhh teasing. Maybe my favorite subject of all time. There’s a good reason why I’ve written a 17,000+ word article all about teasing: The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny] 

Once you’ve read that article and you’ve learnt the basics, I want you to start practicing it everywhere and with everyone. 

Work hard at it. It’ll be one of the best investments you’ve ever made with your time.

16. Talk with confidence

Another no brainer, yet sadly, too many guys ignore this subject entirely. 

But thankfully you’re here, so let’s talk about.

First, go read my full guide to talking with confidence: 48 Proven Methods To Talk More Clearly, Confidently And Slowly [+ Sound More Masculine] 

Secondly, learn about subjects that girls like to talk about: What GIRLS Like To Talk About | DatingArmory.com 

Thirdly, learn how to apply those talking points to dates: What to Talk About on a Date: 27 Best Topics | DatingArmory.com 

Once you’ve read those articles carefully, you should be well on your way to talking with a confident, attractive voice. 

17. Learn to start conversations with strangers

Starting up conversations with plain old (or young) strangers is incredibly important for so many reasons:

  1. It proves to your mind - with real world results, unlike affirmations - that people enjoy having conversations with you
  2. It shows you that you don’t need to be superman in order to be interesting
  3. It shows you that most people are bored and are happy to be chatted up (in the case of girls, it’s the same, girls like receiving compliments)

Now, at first, this may seem too frightening to most guys, so I suggest you warm up with fear facing activities:

  1. Read a playboy magazine in public or in a coffee shop (example below)
  2. Walk right down the street and never move out of the way when people get in your way
  3. Rock your head to music you enjoy in public 

Once you do these activities, your mind will be desensitized to the fear of rejection and starting up conversations with strangers (or even pretty girls) will be doable. 

18. Learn storytelling 

Most guys already know the benefits of being a skilled storyteller, but what most guys don’t know is that you can use storytelling to Display Higher Value (i.e. prove that you’re a high value man) and attract girls that way.

What does that even mean?

Allow me to illustrate with the following 3 examples:

  1. Tell her a story about how girls in your friend group would have a particular affinity to grabbing your butt
  2. Tell her a story about your ex-girlfriends, how they have all stalked you for a little while after you’d break up with them
  3. Tell her a story about the trips you’ve been on with friends and whenever you got into trouble, you we’ve the leader in the group to solve the issue

What do all of these stories prove to your girl? 

It proves to her that you’re a masculine, leader type of guy and a lot of girls love you (if you know anything about pre-selection, you’ll know that this is a deadly seduction trigger).

19. how to be an attractive man book PDF

If you spend any sort of time digging around the internet, you’ll find 100’s of courses, books and blogs all about this exact subject, but what are the best ones for you? Let's go through my top 3:

#1 The Rise of The Phoenix by Sebastian Harris

attractive man book PDF

If you don’t know anything about dating, The Rise of The Phoenix by Sebastian Harris is just for you. 

Besides having a great book worth reading multiple times (saying that from experience), he also offers live coaching as an optional bonus which is more important than you think. 

How’s that? 

When I first started this journey of seducing women, I was petrified of even talking to girls. Luckly, I came across Sebastians’ coaching and he’s the one who pushed me through that initial stage until I was able to do it alone.

#2 The Tao of Badass by Joshua Pellicer

attractive man book PDF

The Tao of Badass PDF is the advanced version of The Rise of The Phoenix and included about 10 times the content:

  1. The Tao of Badass Ebook (150 pages)
  2. The Tao of Badass Audiobook
  3. 4 Subliminal Core Confidence audios
  4. 5 Week Body Language Mastery Course
  5. The Seduction Course
  6. The Advanced Coaching Prep-course 
  7. Advanced Attraction Course
  8. 5 bonus books

OK, so we’re talking about a course packed with books, audios and videos. Good for guys who are looking to massively up their game. 

#3 Revolutionary Sex by Alex

attractive man book PDF

Lastly, Revolutionary Sex. 

90% of guys shouldn’t even be thinking about getting this. Not because it’s a bad program. On the contrary, you’ll learn a shit ton of information about making girls orgam and having great sex. 

However, if you aren’t getting laid on a daily basis from the good old cold approaching, you’re not ready to learn the next steps. But heck, if you got the money, go for it.

20. Gain life experience 

We’ve already talked about living a life of adventure. So what’s “gain life experience” all about? 

Gaining life experience is taking things further. I want you to go through shit, deal with stressful situations and grow thick skin.

Why is that?

Firstly, you’ll feel better as you’ll be less reactive to the environment around you.

Secondly, because you’ve grown thick skin, you seem masculine and we know women can’t get enough of that.

21. Have a large social circle 

Having a large social circle makes you attractive to girls through the process of pre-selection, but it also brings another benefit: you automatically gain access to the girls in your friend group. 

22. Grow a beard

Yes, beards will make you more attractive for many reasons. Grow a nice beard if you can, but in no way is it a requirement.

23. Perform publicly 

You can perform just about anything:

  1. Comedy
  2. Playing in a band
  3. Fighting
  4. Street Performing
  5. Dancing

But why is this attractive? Because it’s the ultimate form of social proof: you’re the guy who can entertain the masses.

24. Do dangerous activities and seem violent 

When talking about things that arouse girls, dangerous and violent activities is it. It makes girls wet and they hate to admit it.

You can spend your own time studying the evolutionary psychology behind it later, because now I want to give you real-world examples:

  1. Learning physical fighting (Boxing, Krav Maga, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Muay Tai, Kickboxing, Karate)
  2. Motorcycle riding
  3. Do small “violent” activities with her, e.g. pushing her, putting her on your shoulder then scaring her by walking backwards, etc. 
  4. Use small bursts of verbal violence
  5. Etc.

I will add that as a beginner: do not use these. They are very attractive behaviours, but it takes a lot of social calibrations to get it right.

25. Deepen your masculine energy

What makes an older man attractive? Deep masculine energy. 

What constitutes masculine energy? Maybe we’ll never know for sure, but here are some of key concepts I pulled from David Deida’s masterpiece, The Way of The Superior Man:

  1. Live as if your father was dead & don’t use your family as an excuse 
  2. Never change your mind just to please a woman
  3. Always hold to your deepest realization 
  4. Lean just beyond your edge 
  5. Never try to analyze your woman
  6. Develop deep consciousness 
  7. Never place your woman as number one

I talk more about these concepts in my guide to masculinity: 17 exclusive steps to be more masculine | DatingArmory.com 

26. Be a sexual man

Let us start this topic quoting, The Book of Pook:

"To the Nice Guys, AFCs, Chumps, and Assorted Miscellaneous Confused Males: 
Sirs: Let us have a little talk on the spirit of sexuality. This might trouble you, to be sure, it might anger others, which is most certain, but the stubborn fact remains that you cannot be successful with women ever until you embrace your sexuality.
Yet until now, you were not interested in sexuality. Rather, you wanted to hear more philosophies, more tricks and tactics to be placed in your quiver of dating. It is as if you were to say: “Yes, yes, these guys that are getting girls are all very well and good. But what philosophies should we deploy to get the women? We purchase bits and pieces of philosophies on this site like we are in a Dating Wal-Mart. We, however, enjoy being the dorks we are and wish only for more philosophies to add to our arsenal.”

If you are androgynous, why would women be sexually interested in you?

Pook then breaks up what it means to embrace your sexuality and how that manifests itself:

  1. Looks: To put it bluntly, it is the bad@ss. This guy has the look of power be it a shaved head, leather coat, professional corporate suit, backwards cap, a well toned body, spiky hair, or whatever else. This person looks like a guy. He is not androgynous.
  2. Personality: Nerd boy: “wow! that is really interesting! tell me more about the fabrics and spiffy colors of the pageant, the dance moves, etc.” VS [sexual] guy: “you must have really strong legs.”
  3. Dating: Action dates! Do not sit there, talking. She can do that with her girlfriends. Guys, on the other hand, are all about ACTION. Real men are not making dinner. They are swimming in rivers and climbing mountains. Find something actionwise and get her involved.
  4. Love Shyness: Do you want to get rid of your shyness? You’re going to have to open up and get out of your solitary shell. Sure, you can deploy ‘tactics’ and ‘maneuvers’ and turn women into a piece of mathematical equation. But in the end, you are still in your same shy philosophy-obsessed world. You just destroyed her and turned her into a part of a ‘philosophy’ to absorb. Instead of dehumanizing the woman, why not humanize yourself?
  5. Lack of Experience: “No experience, no job! No job, no experience! It is like that with women!” Oh, foolish lad! She doesn’t care if you are still running on VIRGIN or not. The only problem is that if YOU have a problem with it. Some guys worry about their experience, worry about stupid labels. “I am still a VIRGIN though!” So what? Despite what the movies portray, sex is not life. If you have a problem with it, it is guaranteed that SHE will. Stop worrying!

Pooks ends his piece by saying “Embrace your sexuality and embrace life!”

embracing your sexuality is attractive to girls

27. Give yourself time to becoming attractive

As the saying goes, “women are born, men must become.”

The moment a girl turns 18, she’s at the top of the world. She can easily gain the attention of any man who interests her. 

The moment a guy turns 18, he is worthless to society. He has no money, no talent and is probably still dealing with acne. 

So take these years to work hard to become an attractive man so that when you turn 30-35, you’ll be at the top of the world.

No need to rush.

28. Learn to tell if girls find you attractive

At times, guys don’t realize how attractive they truly are because they haven’t learnt to read the signs that girls like them!

Here are some solid signs that women find you attractive:

  1. Girls try having conversations with no (no matter how boring the subject may be)
  2. Girls update you on how their lives are going
  3. Girls ask you for help (for small things only, otherwise, they are just using you and that’s not good). Read: 24 Subtle Techniques To Get Any Guy To Notice You & 5 Common Mistakes You Must Avoid 
  4. Girls try to seduce you by “accidentally” sticking their butts to you or flashing some cleavage (read: 24 Subtle Techniques To Get Any Guy To Notice You & 5 Common Mistakes You Must Avoid
  5. Girls look at you with “tiger-eyes” (i.e. eyes full of desire)
  6. Girls laugh at your comments even if they aren’t funny
  7. She plays with her lips and hair (read: 43 Exclusive Methods To Flirt With a Guy In Any Situation [& Countless Examples] | DatingArmory.com

For more examples, read: How To Tell If a Girl Likes You And Wants To Get Hot

And that wraps up this article. If you enjoyed this article, please share it with your friends. And if you have any questions, as always, share them in the comments below.

Good luck, 

Colt Smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work