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You know you’ve teased your girl well when her eyes are literally shining with joy at getting to talk with a guy who dares to mock her like that...

Teasing is how you capture the heart of any girl and make the relationship burn with passion.

It’s what we all need, but it takes time to master the art of teasing. So… 

Be patient,

Be humble,

And take the time and effort to master all the techniques in this 17,000+ word guide. Good luck!

Example of guy teasing a girl before her kisses her

Table of Contents

Part One: The Core Elements Of Teasing A Girl

1. Why tease a girl

Teasing a girl isn’t something you do every so often to make her laugh, it's an integral part of communicating with any woman you meet.

Why? Well, here are the 6 main benefits to teasing girls:

Benefit #1: Teasing Shows Girls That You “Just Wanna Have Fun”

When you spend enough time with women, you quickly learn that girls just wanna have fun. 

Cyndi Lauper made this concept famous in her viral music video:

But why is that? Why do women just wanna have fun? 

Because in regards to romantic emotions, women are just like children, and childrens’ only obsession is having fun. This principle also explains why...

  1. Women love mysteries
  2. Women love imagining fantasy stories 
  3. Women love experiencing all sorts of emotions [1, 2]
  4. Women hate responsibility 
  5. Women love to prioritize emotion over information and logic
  6. And the list goes on

But, returning to my point, when you tease a girl, you’re showing her that you understand that her only concern is having fun and that you’re ready to play with her. Game on!

Benefit #2: Teasing Shows Girls You're Supremely Confident

As you’ll soon learn, the act of teasing is the act of ‘pushing away’ (in a playful manner, of course).

So based on that, let me ask you: does teasing sound like...

  1. Something a needy guy would do OR
  2. Something a confident badass would do?

I’d say B, and I think you agree with me. 

The reasoning is simple: only a confident guy would be willing to ‘push a girl away’ with his teasing and risk losing her forever. The needy guy would be too scared to offend his girl and take that chance.

So what does that teach us?

It teaches us that when you tease a girl, it shows her that you have supreme confidence. 

And as we all know, it’s your supreme confidence which makes you irresistibly attractive to women. 

Teasing girls → Sign of confidence → Arousal

Benefit #3: Teasing Makes Girls Fall Into Your “Frame”

First we need to define what “frame” means and for that I’ll quote my article 48 Proven Methods To Talk More Clearly, Confidently And Slowly [+ Sound More Masculine] | datingarmory.com

First off, what is a frame (in the context of communication)?

A frame is a set of beliefs, values, and perspectives with which people interpret reality, a specific topic, or the social interaction they are engaging in. 

So:

  • If you’re holding frame in any interaction, people are following your set of beliefs, values and perspectives. 
  • If you aren’t holding frame, you are following someone else’s frame and adopting their beliefs, values and perspectives.

To clarify, here’s one example for my article 16 things women look for in men and find attractive

She says: Why do you drive a 2000 dollar car?
You can lose frame and react with: I drive this piece of junk because I don’t have enough money saved up yet, but I’m working hard
Or you can hold the frame and respond with: Why are you in such a rush to get back to my place? My car is plenty fast!

I know this is a lot to learn! But this is all to explain ‘what frame is’ so that we can now move on to explain how teasing a girl can help you ‘hold frame’:

When doing the opposite of teasing a girl, i.e. complimenting her with “I’ve never seen such calm blue eyes in my life. God you’re so cute”, you are trying to gain her approval which automatically makes you lose frame.

On the other hand, when you tease a girl with something like “I’ve never seen such calm blue eyes in my life, but what the hell happened to your eyebrows?”, you quickly force her to qualify herself to regain your approval, hence you regain control of the frame.

Teasing → Forces her to qualify herself → You hold the frame in the relationship

Benefit #4: Teasing Shows Girls That You Don’t Take Them Seriously

This fourth benefit is very much related to what we said about how girls just wanna have fun. 

You see, in a relationship, girls don’t want to be taken seriously. 

So then, what DO girls want?

Girls want to relax and fall back into their natural feminine state of flowing bliss without any responsibilities. 

Teasing allow girls to fall back into their natural feminine state of flowing bliss without any responsibilities as seen in this photo

Teasing allow girls to fall back into their natural feminine state of flowing bliss without any responsibilities as seen in this photo

But in order to fall back into that submissive, feminine state, she needs you to put her in that place. 

And the way you put her in that blissful, feminine place is by not taking her seriously and teasing/ poking fun at her opinions. 

Tease her → Allows her to fall back into her feminine state → Root level attraction for you

Benefit #5: Teasing Shows Girls That You Know You’re Better Than Them

As much as society would like to teach the opposite, countless studies have proven that women want the men that are at a higher social status than them A.K.A. hypergamy. (Unlike men who’s mating strategy is to date down A.K.A. hypogamy.)

Cool, right?

Well interestingly enough, poking fun at a girl with some teasing can “trick” her hypergamous mind into thinking that you’re at a higher social status than her, and therefore, feel attraction for you.

Benefit #6: Teasing shows girls that you require each girl to qualify themselves to earn a relationship with you

Let’s use our example from before: 

You say to a girl: I’ve never seen such calm blue eyes in my life, but what the hell happened to your eyebrows?

Your underlying message is: 

You’re OK looking, but I’m not willing to have a relationship with you because of your crazy eyebrows. That is, unless you show me why you are worth my time despite your ugly eyebrows.

This is widely known as qualification: making a girl qualify herself to you in order to earn that relationship.

Now that you understand what qualification is and how teasing makes a girl qualify herself, how does any of this benefit you? 

Going back to what we said a moment ago about hypergamy, women want a high value man.

So when you use teasing to make a girl qualify herself to you, you’re showing her that you have standards which is a strong signal that you’re a high value man, and therefore, attractive. (A needy guy wouldn't be so bold to have standards in the first place and make a girl qualify herself to meet them.)

To Review, Here Are The 6 Core Benefits Of Teasing Girls: 

  1. Teasing shows girls that you “just wanna have fun”
  2. Teasing shows girls you're supremely confident
  3. Teasing makes girls fall into your “frame”
  4. Teasing shows girls that you don’t take them seriously
  5. Teasing shows girls that you know you’re better than them
  6. Teasing shows girls that you require each girl to qualify themselves to earn a relationship with you

At the end of the day, teasing is one of the most powerful sexual strategies for men. I don’t care how old, short, ugly - whatever - teasing girls is basically the cheat code to female lust. It is the difference between the alpha male and the droves of beta males.

2. What Is Teasing

What is teasing, and more specifically, what is the difference between teasing and flirting?

Flirting is a playful act of showing romantic or sexual attraction towards the other person; whereas, teasing is a playful (usually also sexual when teasing a girl) act of making fun or provoking the other person. [3, 4]

Here’s an example to highlight the difference:

  • Flirting: I had this emotional dream about you last night… I’m sorry I can’t tell you… really, I-I shouldn’t be thinking about you this way
  • Teasing: I had a dream about you last night. Fuck. You really gotta invade my dreams too?

But at its core, what are you actually playfully, poking-fun-at when teasing a girl sexually? 

You're teasing her about her core sexual power, that is, her looks and femininity. (When a girl sexually teases a guy, she’ll be poking fun at his core sexual power: his confidence, money, etc. A.K.A giving him a ‘shit test’.)

But let’s dig deeper: teasing is made up of 3 core elements: 

  1. Being cocky
  2. Being sexual
  3. Having fun

You play with each of these 3 core elements to adapt to the environment. 

Teasing a friend? 100% being cocky and having fun. 0% being sexual. 

Just approached a girl? 90% being cocky and having fun. 10% being sexual.

Taking her on your first date? Split all 3 elements evenly. 

About to kiss her to take her home? 80% being sexual. 20% having fun and being cocky.

This balance between the 3 core elements of teasing is the reason why there are so many synonyms for the word teasing (list below) - each word is describing a slightly different core element configuration:

  1. Make Fun Of
  2. Poke Fun Of
  3. Satirize
  4. Mock
  5. Annoy
  6. Bother
  7. Needle
  8. Nudge
  9. Pester
  10. Pick On
  11. Ridicule
  12. Tantalize
  13. Taunt
  14. Bait
  15. Banter

Bottom line:

Everyone teases each other: male friends, siblings, and of course, guys tease girls. Teasing is not inherently malevolent, it all depends how you use it. 

3. Teasing VS Criticism 

There are several key differences between teasing and criticising, but first, watch this video:

Let’s break it down this perfect example of teasing:

  1. If he would have smashed the cone into her face, that wouldn’t have been funny. Instead, he playful tapped the cone on her nose
  2. He takes his time to raise her excitement and give her a fun time, even though he knows she’ll eventually get it
  3. He makes her believe that she “won” at times by placing it right in her hands, but pulls it  right away before she can keep it for herself
  4. She knows that she’s gonna get the ice cream at the end, so each time he steals the cone back, it just heightens her excitement (or really, bliss - just look at how much fun she’s having)
  5. He’s not teasing her about something she would think of taking personally. As an example, take a girl who has an eating disorder - do you think she’ll even remotely enjoy this game? I think not!

So now that we got that down, let’s pin down the exact difference between teasing and criticism:

  1. Each teasing “jab” is fun tap on the nose, not a criticising “punch in the face”
  2. You take your time with teasing to build that sexual tension, instead of shutting her down with a mean, criticising comment
  3. While teasing, you make her feel like she won at times, unlike criticism which doesn’t allow anyone else to win, but you
  4. When teasing a girl, you do your best to make her feel like she’ll be able to get back at you in the end, while criticising is about domineering and walking all over people
  5. Teasing is only about things the girls can change right now, never about hurting feelings, while criticism is all about finding those weak spots and attacking vulnerable identities. Todd V, in the following video, makes this last point very clearly:

4. Tease Her Likes She’s Your 5 Year Old Sister

Let’s begin with a quote from the great Book of Pook:

“Girls were to be guided, teased, because, after all, they were girls and, as such, tended to mess things up. You pulled their hair, made fun of their clothes...
...not because an internet guy named DeAngelo told you to do so, but because you knew instinctively that it was right and proper for you to do.”

What Pook is saying is that girls always enjoyed being treated like “little” girls in a relationship, it is just your fears and the influence of society that taught you that acting like a gentleman is how you impress a girl. Wrong!

It is your capacity to play with her and tease her like she’s your 5 year old sister which impresses her! You wanna get used to saying things like this:

  1. How did you burn the omelette? You’ve officially lost your position as my head cook!
  2. You’re a little cranky, aren’t you? I think you need a little nappy-nap
  3. How about you sit on the side for a moment, maybe draw something with the crayons from your room
  4. Why are you mad? OK, OK, I’ll buy you some play doh
  5. Don’t make me ask you again. Do you need a spanking?
  6. [perfect for approaching a girl at the bar] I think you’re a little too young to be drinking something like that, young lady!

Bottom line:

Anytime you get stuck in your head, unable to tease a girl, realize that you’re thinking of her as an adult just like you. Instead, see her as your 5 year old sister, and watch how you so effortlessly tease her. [5]

5. Tease With Unbreakable Confidence

Take the following line as an example: 

I think you’re enjoying all the attention you get with that sexy, red dress a little too much

Good line, right? Yes, but it depends on how you say it.

But what if you said that line:

  1. Slumped over 
  2. In a low, shy voice (read: Do girls like shy guys and introverts? 6 things you didn't know | datingarmory.com
  3. Mumbling 
  4. Stuttering each word out of anxiety
  5. Zero eye contact
  6. With a fear stricken face
teasing girls while looking like this terrified man will no work no matter what line you use

Teasing girls while looking like this terrified man will no work no matter what line you use

Do you think girls would appreciate your perfectly-worded tease? Hell no! You’d immediately get labeled as a creep and would be lucky to get away without being slapped. 

So the lesson here is simple: Confidence is key when it comes to teasing.

But how can you display confidence while teasing? You can read the full guide here - 13 Proven Steps To Develop More Confidence With Women | datingarmory.com - but for now, here are the basic guidelines: 

  1. Don’t worry about the exact wording (I've literally shouted "Bleurgah-bleurgah-bleeuuurrrrggggh!!" at a bitch and got her laughing)
  2. Keep confident body language without being domineering (read: Alpha Male Body Language: The Dominance And Power | datingarmory.com
  3. Talk in a charismatic voice 
  4. Articulate each word clearly (read: 48 Proven Methods To Talk More Clearly, Confidently And Slowly [+ Sound More Masculine] | datingarmory.com)
  5. Smile Goddamn it!
  6. Maintain flirty eye contact

Follow these rules and be the guy that girls lose their minds over. 

Teasing girls requires a high level of confidence as seen in this guy

6. When To Tease Girls

Now that you know the “what” and “why”, let’s talk about “when”. 

When should and shouldn’t you be teasing girls?

In general, you should be teasing girls all the time. 

Yes, sometimes you’ll have to adapt your teasing to be more cocky or fun or sexual. But that doesn’t mean you ever stop being a dick and treat her like some princess because trust me, the moment she stops calling you an asshole, you know something is wrong. 

That being said, there are 2 main exceptions to the rule:  

  1. You’ve teased her enough that she’s ready to make out with you or/and DTF (Down To Fuck). At this point teasing her more will just make her think “why the fuck is the guy teasing me, when he could be inside of me!”. Remember, you can absolutely tease your way out of sex. At this point, you’d be better off just shutting up and letting her talk her way out of her panties while you look at her like a piece of delicious meat. 
  2. You’re on your way to a serious event i.e. funeral, job interview, etc. 

7. Tease From The Moment You Approach

The second you approach a girl, you need to start teasing A.K.A. “Immediate-Teasing”. 

Why? 2 main reasons:

  1. A basic compliment, no matter how good, will not grab her attention or shock her like a savage tease
  2. Teasing a girl from the moment you approach her gives a solid first impression of you as a high-value alpha male. On the other hand, if you start with a boring compliment, she’ll have a bad first impression of you which will last for months and it’ll be exponentially harder to rewrite that “beta-male” first impression to “sexy-alpha”. [6, 7, 8, 9]

Interestingly enough, “Immediate-Teasing” is one of the things you can study from those game/ pickup channels on YouTube (recommended channels below). 

Here are some ideas that I’ve picked up from them:

  1. Instead of asking for her number, you ask for her email/ LinkedIn and make her wonder what the hell is going on
  2. You ask her to hold something in your hand, making her think you’re gonna hand her a slug, instead hold her hand
  3. Literally walking up to her with a bag of ice and dropping it in front of her to “break the ice”
  4. Start with a funny pickup line, i.e. hey, I like you, hey, I’m lonely, etc. 
  5. Ask her about what type of music she likes, then poke fun at her for liking ___ artist
  6. Tell her to not get too excited while she’s putting her number into your phone

And what pickup channels do I recommend? 

First and foremost, Honest Signalz. This guy is super low-key and gets one girl after another. Below is one of my favorite videos by him:

You can also check out Jack Denmo. He’s not as talented as Honest Signalz, but there’s lots to learn nonetheless. Here’s one video where he teases girls very effectively:

8. Fluctuate With Power Of Each Tease

Think about: is any tease the same? Of course not!

  • Some teases will be more cocky.
  • Some teases will be more sexual.
  • Some teases will be more fun.

This shouldn’t be news to you, however, something you may have missed is that you can play with the power of each tease, for example:

  • Some teases will make her red with embarrassment and call you a fucking asshole (hours later she’ll be sucking your cock).
  • Some teases will be so playful, she’ll be laughing so hard that she won’t be able to breathe (may also be sucking your cock later).

And if you’re looking for a rulebook to tell you when to try each type of teasing...well, that rule book doesn’t exist because teasing isn’t some math class. Teasing is an art, you gotta dance with it until you get it right. 

9. Using A Powerful Tease

That being said, let’s talk about what makes a powerful, asshole tease so… powerful.

It all comes down to this: 

With a powerful, asshole tease you are outright disqualifying her of being relationship worthy.

OK, but how - how do you disqualify her like that? Good question.

Answer: 2 main methods:

Method #1: Situational Criticism

Situational criticism is probably what would be considered the classic tease. 

Using the circumstances to point out something you don't approve of about her in a way that's sometimes lighthearted, but also communicates an unwillingness to deal with things you consider less than ideal.

Examples:

  1. Did a fat friend give you the idea to wear this dress?
  2. [When she bumps into you] All I wanted was a girlfriend who could walk straight…
  3. [When you’re on a date at the park and she won’t get on the swings] So you’re too scared? I bet you’ll have a great time feeding the gold-fish with your future husband

This really f*cks will most girls’ minds because they’re all expecting for you to qualify yourself and supplicate for sex. However, with these examples, you’re turning the tables - and it’s both frightening and exciting for her. 

Onto method #2…

Method #2: Setting Unreasonable Standards

There are 2 ways to tease a girl by setting standards:

  1. Setting rational, reasonable standards i.e. I only like girls who are clean and have a naturally shy personality 
  2. Setting hilariously, unreasonable standards i.e. "I only like girls who can recite the Pledge of Allegiance while unicycling across the Grand Canyon. So is this gonna work out or not?"

As you can already tell by the title of this teasing method, here we are referring to the second example, that is, setting hilariously unreasonable standards.

Why not the first example? Because the first example is about setting boundaries which is great and all, but has nothing to do with teasing.

So, getting back to what we're saying, how do you use the "Setting Unreasonable Standards Method" to great a stunning tease? Well, here are some examples:

  1. I can’t believe you like ___ movie, we can’t be friends anymore. Here’s a story of using this exact technique: I went on a Tinder date recently and she was a tougher customer than normal. More stern and a bitchier vibe than I'm used to. I have a hard time teasing these girls above a certain level because that's when it starts to feel unnatural. But I didn't force it. I waited until we talked about a really popular movie. When she said she hadn't seen it, I jumped all over it saying in amazement, "what! That's insane. Are you serious?" (She smiles and says yes) exaggerated disbelief, throwing my arms in the air "that's it, this date is over" fake getting up to leave she loses it, getting red and covering her mouth while laughing. [10]
  2. Did you just say that the sky is blue? Fuck it, this date is over. 
  3. I only like girls who can recite the Pledge of Allegiance while unicycling across the Grand Canyon. So is this gonna work out or not?

Now that you understand the powerful, stunning tease, I should tell you that most of these examples will work best only after gaining a fair amount of report. Rush it and you risk being blown out.

10. Teasing isn’t meant to feel comfortable 

Teasing builds (sexual) tension, and tension isn’t meant to feel comfortable. But just because it doesn’t feel comfortable doesn’t mean it’s bad.

And yes it’s true, by teasing a girl you’re always risking rejection and hurting her feelings, however, that’s exactly what makes teasing so damn sexy if you know how to pull it off. 

11. Give opposite signals when teasing

Even though teasing isn’t meant to be comfortable - teasing is about building tension - so it’s still crucial that you communicate via opposite signals that you’re just playin and not trying to offend her. 

For example:

  1. Say your line in a serious voice, but you half smile
  2. Say your ‘mean’ line in a playful voice
  3. Say your mean line in a serious voice and do not smile, but playfully push her away

Now she knows your playfully teasing her and not hating on her with some stupid criticism. 

12. The Push-Pull Tease

Let’s start with an example:

  • Push: [after asking her what she does with her free time] "Wow, I had a pet snail that was more interesting than you"
  • Pull: "...At least your fat ass/ boobs/ lips makes up for it"

I think most people understand the push/pull dynamic so no need to explain this one further.

13. Never retract your tease 

Even with The Push/Pull Tease you aren’t retracting your original tease - going back to our old example - she’s still less interesting than your old pet snail. It’s only that she makes up for it with her fat ass. 

And this brings us to an essential lesson: never, ever retract your tease

  • I don’t care how much she’s crying.
  • I don’t care how much she calls you an asshole.
  • I don’t care if she threatens to break up with you.
  • I don’t care if she asks you if you do this to all girls.
  • I don’t care if she asks you why you have to be so mean.

These are all just “shit-tests” and if you fall for them, she will lose all respect for you.

Bottom line:

Let your body language tell her if you’re being serious or not, but never take back a tease by saying “just kidding” or whatever else. Deal with her shit-tests, the same way you would deal with any others (agree & amplify, ignore, etc.). Eventually, she’ll stop being mad (and even apologize to you) and that’s when you follow up with another ‘tease’ by grabbing her butt, spanking her and banging her in the bedroom.

Side note:

Retracting your tease is not limited to saying “just kidding”. In fact, I’d argue that 90% of guys retract their teases even before saying “just kidding”.

How? 

They instantly react to their own teasing (without even giving the girl a chance to react!) by immediately following up with nervous laughter (video example below). This has the same, if not worse effect as “just kidding”.

14. The hotter you are, the hotter the bitches you can tease

To understand this, let’s start with a meme:

a meme explaining that you need to be an attractive man to tease attractive women

A meme explaining that you need to be an attractive man to tease attractive women

You don’t have to be f*cking einstein to figure this one out. If you’re way below her SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) and you start teasing her without any kind of base attraction, she’ll feel creeped out and that’s why I say… 

The hotter you are, the hotter the bitches you can tease

So now you’re asking, but Colt, how do I become hotter?

For that, my friend, you’ll need to read several other guides:

  1. 48 Proven Methods To Talk More Clearly, Confidently And Slowly [+ Sound More Masculine] | datingarmory.com 
  2. 13 Proven Steps To Develop More Confidence With Women | datingarmory.com 
  3. 19 Steps to Get a Girl Without Getting Rejected | datingarmory.com 

Again, this guide is not about becoming more attractive, but my articles linked above should help you.

15. Tease a girl for your own entertainment 

Don’t forget, teasing is not about impressing a girl to gain her approval. It’s about self-amusement. 

Therefore, filling up her car with balloons on her birthday, though it may seem like teasing, you’re actually trying to gain her approval. 

How do I know?

Because you’re putting in too much effort!

Here’s what I mean by genuinely teasing a girl for your own entertainment: 

  1. While opening the door to your apartment, make her think that you’re opening the door to let her in first, but then shoulder her to the side and say something like “let the master enter first”
  2. While she’s taking a bathroom break when watching a horror movie together, turn of the bathroom light momentarily or scare her when she walks out
  3. Throw your clothing on her while changing, then make poke fun at her about how she can’t catch or when she does try to throw them back at you, tell her that she throws like a girl

Yes, it’s very childish. Yes, it’s dumb shit. But that’s what makes the teasing about you, not her.

Let loose. 

16. Take your time with teasing any girl

Just because you suddenly find yourself in a situation where you think you could tease her, don’t get all crazy-rushed to force it out. If you have a line prepared, great, if not, just wait for your next opportunity.

Anyways, once you master the art of teasing, you’ll see that you can tease girls about anything they're doing.

Never rush, take your time. 

17. Keep the teasing fun

Sebastian Harris, in his book The Rise of The Phoenix (Chapter: First Date Trap - Control Her Emotions and Connect with Her in 3 Minutes), describes dating in a nutshell:

Dating is fun. It’s light. There’s courting, there’s the interesting, exciting text messaging, and flirting. There’s no weight.” – Denise Vasi
Is it really that fun and light? If you asked me today, I’d answer, “Of course.” If you asked me five years ago, I’d scream, “Hell no!” Why? Because five years ago I didn’t know the shocking secrets I’m about to share with you in the following paragraphs.

In the next chapters of the book, he goes on to explain what exact steps you gotta take to keep dating as fun as it should be. But the lesson is clear, if your dating/ teasing is not fun, it doesn’t make her laugh and you’re hurting her feelings - you’re not doing it right.

Again, romantic relationships are not about making money together or building muscle at the gym together. You have friends for that. Romantic relationships are about having passionate love for each other and having crazy fun.

But how? How can you tease a girl to make her laugh without hurting her feelings:

  1. Don’t attack the one thing that makes her special. If she’s a gymnast, don’t call her clumsy. Tease her about another area of her life.
  2. When she asks for your pen, playfully hand it to her then snatch your hand back
  3. While she’s on the phone with her friend talking suspiciously quietly, sing aloud “secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone”
  4. While she’s doing boring house work (like cleaning the dishes or doing the laundry, look at her in the eye and make some farting noises
  5. Playfully steal something from her hand and then don’t let her get by holding your hand too high in the air

You are having fun watching her hilarious reaction, and she won’t stop giggling from all the excitement. People like fun relationships, who knew?

18. Keep the teasing simple

If your Einstein level tease flies over her head, you failed. Keep it simple.

19. Keep your teasing focused

When you tease a girl about one thing e.g. cooking, she’ll go on to improve that one thing - which is great because girls enjoy working on themselves for their man.

But when you spread out your teasing between 1000 things (her cooking, dressing, makeup, accent, etc.) she feels overwhelmed with all the work she has to do to meet your standards and the teasing loses it’s “childish-fun” effect = BAD. 

20. Tease and move in the direction of sex

Before the comments section blows up, let me first say that not every tease has to move in the direction of sex. There! I said it.

However, I bet that in your dating life, you aren’t teasing in the direction of sex enough or doing it at the right times, so here’s how I’d do it:

  1. Only tease her about things that’ll help you get laid. Teasing her about her smoking habit, won’t lead her to suck your cock. Teasing her about her “overflowing boobs” will. (Remember it’s all about targeted disqualification.)
  2. Don’t tease her in a way that she feels like you’re judging her sexuality, e.g. don’t accuse her of being a stripper
  3. Add plenty of naughty, physical touch 
Teasing a girl sexually

Part Two: Verbally Teasing A Girl

21. Tease her intelligence and achievements

When a beta male’s girlfriend gets accepted into college (or wins some academic award), his programming tells him to hug her, tell her how good she is and how much she deserved it. 

Sure, it’s friendly - but you don’t want to treat her like a friend just to end up in the friend zone. 

You want to get her wet and that's why you must relentlessly tease her even after she wins an award after some achievement.

How?

Try some of the following examples:

  1. She comes back home after running a marathon and tells you that she got very close to first place, tell her “OK, prove it” - while not willing to believe that she did well no matter how many pictures she shows you that she obviously did very well.
  2. Your girlfriend brags about how she allowed one of her friends to stay at her place after she got kicked out by her landlord or her house burned down. Respond with “I think I did hear something about that. You kept her in the basement and threw her down a loaf of bread once a week. She’s very grateful”.
  3. She tells you that she just got accepted into Harvard or that she’s been studying there for the last couple of years. Tease her with “They let just anybody go there nowadays, huh?”
  4. She starts trying to have an intellectual/ political discussion about why she loves __ president. Respond with something like “Impressive! Not too bad for a girl brain” (or any other classical misogynistic line) or “Sounds like it took you 23 years [or however many years old she is] to form this opinion” or “Wow, you definitely have a future in this… boring people to death!”.

As intellectual teasing is 90% cocky and very little fun/ sexual, therefore, this is best done either as you’re getting to know each other or right after you’ve had sex.  

22. Tease her looks 

At the very beginning of this article, we described what you’re doing every time you tease a girl:

But at its core, what are you actually playfully, poking-fun-at when teasing a girl sexually? You're teasing her about her core sexual power, that is, her looks and femininity.

Now is the time when you learn exactly how to do that and get all the examples you need:

  1. She walks out of the bathroom after spending lots of time doing her makeup. Tell her “what’s with the crayon on your face?”.
  2. “You’d be the hottest girl in town, if only you didn’t have caveman eyebrows like that.” When using this on multiple girls, you come across a confident girl, maybe a bikini model, who counters with “my eyebrows… are perfect”, in that case, here’s what you need to respond with: “like I said, perfect for a caveman”. If she originally responded with “Well my boyfriend likes them”, you respond with “Well, living with a caveman does have its perks”.
  3. “The kids need to take off their clothes before coming into the house. They are dirty and I have spent all morning cleaning” [11]

23. Tease her about her tattoo(s)

Trying to get a one night stand with a tattooed girl? Try these examples:

  1. Lick your thumb and try to wipe off the tattoo. When she asks you what the hell you are trying to do, simply say “Oh, nevermind, it’s just art”.
  2. If she gets a new tattoo and asks you how it looks, respond with “compared to what?”
  3. If she has flower tattoos all over her arms, tell her “well I’m never gonna need to bring you a bouquet of flowers!”
  4. “As long as you get my name tatted, I don’t care how many tattoos you have”

ABAD = Always Be A Dick!

24. Tease her about the clothing she’s wearing or buying

Related to looks and tattoos, but less personal as these examples are about her clothing or stylistic choices:

  1. Ask her if she got the memo for wearing stupid hats [12]
  2. You’re out clothing shopping together and your girlfriend asks you what you think about a certain dress she’s trying on, tell her “uuuugh, you look like shiiiiit”. If there’s a sales girl there who tries to protest and convince her that she looks good, ignore her and tell her to bring the next dress for your girlfriend to try on (there’s actually a good chance that the sales girl will develop a crush on you after seeing how much confidence you have).
  3. [The following works whether you just approached her or have been dating for a while] tell her that she looks like she just walked out of ___. Fill the blanks with anything crazy: warzone, zombie apocalypse, etc.

Like any tease, if said correctly, will be unforgettable for you and especially the girl even years later!

25. Tease her about the stuff she’s holding 

Moving out from looks and clothing, let’s talk about teasing girls about the things you may them holding:

  1. When she’s carrying around a shovel or some manly tool: “You making sand castles with that?”
  2. Carrying a bunch of stuff - just laugh at her and say “it’s gonna take more than that to hide that you're fat!”. If she then puts the stuff down and proves to you that she’s actually thin, tell her that it’s gonna take more than that to truly show you how thin she is [wink, wink].
  3. If she’s carrying a massive water bottle. Tell her “So what type of camel are you?”.
  4. “That’s a shitty laptop, let me guess, you inherited it from the last T-rex that died?”
  5. If she pulls out some food from her pocket, ask her if she’s been saving up from McDonalds 

26. Tease her about the stuff currently doing

OK, but how can you tease her about the stuff she’s doing with her hands? Here you go:

  1. She spills water (or messes up something else basic), tells her “you're __ years old and you still haven’t figured out this whole drinking thing?”
  2. Isn’t walking normally: "You'd think you'd have gotten the whole walking thing down by now..."
  3. Trying to carry heavy stuff around, tell her “You are adorably bad job of trying to act cool”
  4. If she has this weird habit, tease that too 
  5. She’s taking a dump, joke about how much toilet paper she uses

Remember guys, ABAD, Always Be A Dick.

27. Accuse her of farting 

Accusing a girl of farting is very cocky and fun, but can also be sexual depending on how you say it and in what context. 

28. Tease her about the way she talks 

Moderation is the key with these: you don't want to come off as a know-it-all, condescending douche constantly correcting her.

Anyways, let’s get to the examples:

  1. Over-exaggerate her Umms and pauses (NOT if she naturally stutters!)
  2. Constantly misinterpret what she’s saying in funny ways (you can do this with the lyrics of songs too)
  3. Fuck with her words and take them in sexual/ innappropretiate context.
  4. If she completely butchers a sentence or word, say something like “"So how long have you been speaking English?" or "One language. You've only had to learn one fucking language…” or in a more playful way, you can respond with “God I love the way you words”
  5. When she butchers a word, remind her about it later when she’s using that word again, just to trip her up
  6. Sometimes you don’t have to say anything when teasing her about the way she talks, sometimes a funny look will do just fine
  7. Only try this in relationships. What you do is mimik her the most ridiculous mocking voice, e.g. “blee, blah, boop… my name is ___, I like being stupid and rude… goop, goo, blah, blah, blah…”, then followed up with “that’s how you talk”. You can take this even further by moving her lips with your fingers as you’re mimicking her. Again, only use this technique after you have strong rapport with her. 

Sing it with me:

ABAD is what we do,

Always Be A Dick is what we are, 

ABAD!ABAD!

As corny as it sounds, the moment you get that into your head is the moment girls will start to think of you as a bad boy and do things with you that are beyond your imagination.

29. Give her an unbelievable insult

You must first understand that the emotional part of the brain works completely independent of the logical side of the brain. 

So what does each side of the girl's brain tell her when you give her an unbelievable insult in a teasing way?

  • The logical brain tells her to run away and block you in every way she can.

However…

What is wrong with women with the emotional brain of women? No man would even respond to an insult positively?!

Because teasingly insulting a woman shows her that you’re high enough value as a man that you don’t give a flying fuck if she’s interested or not, unlike all the thirsty guys that are willing to bend over backwards to shower her with all sorts of compliments, i.e. positive attention, i.e. logical attraction. There’s nothing exciting about a guy who’s willing to remind her of how beautiful she is in order to fuck her. It’s only the guy who’s willing to challenge her, willing to reject her that truly excites.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s go through some examples:

  1. You are unbelievably hideous 
  2. Is anything on your face symmetrical? (If she tries to poke fun at your nose being slightly crooked, reply with “I was fucking a girl so hard on night that I pulled my nose and it’s been crooked like that ever since”.)
  3. So what part of your face did you get plastic surgery for? 
  4. “I never thought I’d see a witch in real life!” Or “Oh’ so now I know what I witch looks like, thank you!”
  5. [When she walks out of the bathroom wearing in sexy bikini in your favorite color] Holly fuck, you look horrendous

My advice is to only use these on stunning models or girls that are exceptionally beautiful and have lots of confidence. Girls below that beauty level tend to take it personally. [13]

30. Tease her about her name

Pretty dang simple, here are some examples:

  1. So, what were you named after? The last T-rex that died?
  2. If she has a weird name, just laugh the moment you hear it e.g. Anis, Buttler, Freek, Vaga, etc.
  3. How did you end up with a name like that? Born during a zombie apocalypse? 

31. Tease her with a silly nickname

Once you’ve teased her about her name, why not play with her again by calling her weird and embarrassing nicknames? 

  1. Love nugget (try using other names like this that imply that her body is of an unfortunate shape)
  2. Noodle head
  3. Whiney
  4. Cuddly Wuddly
  5. Poo Pee
  6. Sweet cheeks (have a sexaul nickname for her that is only used in private and stays a secret between you)
  7. Big moma
  8. Naughty girl
  9. Birdy

For more examples, read: What do girls like to be called: 71 things to call a girl | datingarmory.com

32. Tease her origin story

Here’s what I mean:

You notice that a new girl joined your friend group at the bar. 

You approach her and ask “so how did you join our circle of friends?”.

She says, “Well, I used to work in the same office as Dave in Montreal”.

You tease her story and say, “Wow, that’s the worst story I’ve ever heard!”.

Watch how her jaw drops, her attraction for you rises, and everyone starts laughing. 

33. Stereotype her in a teasing way

It’s not just about poking fun of the place she’s from, it’s about having fun then being cocky and even sexual as you’ll soon see with the examples below:

  1. She says she’s from some obscure Asian village, ask her if she grew up fishing and hunting deer with stone tipped spears 
  2. She’s from Los Angeles? Say “Now I understand why you're so stylish..” 
  3. She’s from New York? Say “You got some good food there, you better know how to cook” or “Rich and busy, I get it...”
  4. She’s from Boston? Say “Last girl I met from Boston, would cry if the Boston Red Socks didn’t win - hope you’re not like that!”
  5. She’s from Brooklyn? Say “A Brooklyn girl, are you packing heat?”
  6. She’s a criminal defense lawyer? Say “Just what I was looking for. Quick, I just robbed a bank last night -- what are my options?!” Or “Uh oh, a lawyer…I have to be careful what I say around you” Or “Well, you better get studying because we’re about to do a lot of naughty crimes together”
  7. She’s from Tennessee? Say ““You’re from Tennessee? You must listen to songs about whiskey and tractors.”

You get the idea, and what I recommend guys do is that you study the city you live in and the stereotypes that come with it. It'll come in handy. [14, 15, 16, 17]

Part Three: Physically Teasing A Girl

We’ve covered most basic methods to verbally tease a girl in part one. Now, in part three, it’s time to learn how to physically tease a girl.

34. Push her teasingly

She says something ridiculous, push her away teasingly.

She tries to “seduce” you with overbearing kisses, push her away teasingly.

She’s nagging you about something you’re doing, push her away teasingly. 

35. Smack her ass

We’ll talk about this exact “ass-smacking-subject” later on in a more sexual context, but for now, let’s talk about how to do it in a more playful, day-to-day manner.

  1. Tell her “that ass is mine” (never say “I can't believe I am so lucky to have a girl with an ass like that” - it’s such a needy, simp way of talking)
  2. She’s cooking food for her, smack her butt while looking at the food and maybe even stealing some before it ready
  3. Smack her butt in a playful way so that she knows you’re expecting her run after you to get back at you
  4. If she’s giving you a hug, don’t just smack her butt, hold onto it, enjoy it, only then let it go
  5. When she is doing her make-up in front of the mirror while you’re waiting for her, pull her pants down to her ankles and give her a slap on her ass. 
  6. Drive her so crazy by always slapping her butt that she needs to tackle you to the bedroom to get you to stop (and you know what to do from there…)
  7. When you’ve been smacking her ass for a regularly, you can “sneak up” on her, but “let” her see you so that she’s expecting to get her ass smacked, but then walk away saying “you don’t deserve it” Or make her wait a few moments to increase the tension and only then smack her ass
  8. If she’s acting naughty, tell her “clearly, your last boyfriend didn’t spank you enough”
  9. If you know she’s dying for a good smack (you’ll be able to tell by the way she’s sticking out her butt or lying down next to you without any shorts on), use both of your hands and say “Man, it's looking good today! It’s like a cupcake!”
  10. If can tell that she specifically enjoyed being spanked, dance with her for a second by pressing your butt against hers

Some of you guys must be wondering why the hell girls like this shit - don’t worry we’ll talk about that soon, but for now, here’s some pretty damn good video proof that if you don’t smack her ass, she’ll be severely disappointed. 

36. Pull on her hair

Pulling on a girl's hair is the first thing you did when teasing a girl for the first time in school. It’s super fun, cocky and simple.

And while it is simple, I’d like to share some tips with you to make it even more fun and cocky:

  1. Grab her hair from her scalp
  2. Make sure you have a fistful (you can wrap her hair around your wrist too). If you only have 3 hair strands, you’ll end up pulling out her hair!
  3. At first, don’t snap her head back. Start slow - this isn’t one of those techniques that you can surprise your girl with.
  4. Always use the least amount of force necessary on her hair to reach the result you want. Don’t want to break her neck!
  5. Make sure you’re the one in control in which direction her head goes. You can also use this to put her in a kneeling submissive position or to tell her that it’s time to stand up.
  6. Watch her body language, if she’s squirming and moaning, you know you’re doing it right. If she looks uncomfortable, maybe she doesn't like hair pulling or you’re not doing it right.
  7. If you want to kiss her, do this: start by running your hand up the side of her neck into her hair, then pull her towards you for a kiss. If she’s sitting on your lap facing you, you can also pitch her neck up to kiss her on the neck.
  8. If you don’t want to kiss, but don’t want to just walk away either, try holding romantic eye contact for a couple moments
  9. We’ve been saying that you can use this hair pulling method to tease her day to day, but make sure you don’t forget to use this in bed too!

I should have a full article about hair pulling coming out soon, but for now, these tips should be more than enough.

37. Shoot rubber bands at her

How did you tease girls in school? Let me guess… hmmm… shot rubber bands at her. OK, maybe you didn’t do that, but I definitely did! It was fun, she called me an asshole, and we made out later. 

Obviously, this isn’t limited to rubber bands, you can playfully throw pretty much anything at her:

  1. Your old socks (just be though, some old socks can be deadly and must be disposed of with caution).
  2. Flick your *empty* hot cup from the back towards you (they can go surprisingly far)
  3. Get bugs to fly towards her (you can do it pretty easily with stink bugs, by getting it to sit on your finger and then putting your finger on an downward angle so that it’s facing your girl)

I can’t come up with more examples at the moment, but the general rule is that anything that won’t hurt her and makes you seem like more of dick when being thrown at her, should be used.

Part Four: Teasing Your Girlfriend Or Wife

Welcome to Part Four: Teasing Your Girlfriend Or Wife. 

What sets this section apart is that now you’re in a relationship which means you’ve had the time to build rapport and you can now take your teasing to the next level by being more cocky, more sexual and having more fun.

38. Tease her as you’re walking together

Tease her walking to a date, on a date, from a date - all the time! And here’s how:

The Lamppost Method

You’re walking down the street, and you both notice there’s a lamppost right in your path. She tries to steer you out of the way, but you pretend not to see it and don’t move out of the way. When she tries harder to pull you out of the way, you push back, sending her right into the lamppost. 

The Klutz Method

You’re walking together and she starts talking about her usual stupid shit “blah, blah, my friend is a stupid whore” - nudge her, without warning her, so that she almost walks into a group of friends walking in your direction. Then, with a smirk, apologize to the group - like the asshole you are - “Sorry about my friend, she’s such a klutz.”

Tease her about the way she walks 

For example:

  1. You have a funny way of hobbling 
  2. You’re limping now? Wait till I fuck you tonight…
  3. I don’t get why you’re walking this way… do you usually walk with 3 legs?!
  4. I could move faster using only my dick, let’s get it moving [18, 19]

Thought of your own teasing lines? Why not share it with us in the comments? Thanks.

39. Teasing her on the date

So you’ve made it to your date… how do you tease her now? Easy!

  1. Rock climbing? I guess you aren't as flexible as you thought. 
  2. Drinking? What happened, I thought you could out drink me. 
  3. Watching TV and there is a scary part? Grab her and shake her. 
  4. Going to the park together? Read the next piece.
  5. You know she's coming over? Start working on something in the backyard. Why? Completely screwing with her expectations is the root of teasing your girl and should be the fundamental tenet when you plan your simple fun.
  6. Set a date at a high end restaurant. Show up, but don’t let her see you. When she shows up, text her that you won’t be able to make it, as she’s walking out all angrily asking herself why the fuck she spent all this time getting ready for you, bump into her and laugh endlessly about how pissed off she looked. 
  7. [Works only if you’re girlfriend-boyfriend] When you’re coming home from an event or date and you both gotta pee, race or fight about who gets to the bathroom first. Sometimes you can be a gentleman and let her go first.

40. Teasing your girl at the park

So what if you go to the park for a date (great idea btw, it’s an action date - waay better than coffee)? How do you tease her then?

  1. Offer to push her on the swings - being the good gentleman you are - which she will most certainly accept, but then start to push her too high and laugh as she shrieks in fear
  2. Play tag and make her chase you - literally 
  3. If you’re having a picnic at the park, pick on the way she eats or how she’s sooo sloppy
  4. Hide the sandwiches and drinks you put together to eat at the park
  5. Throw pieces of grass at her and enjoy her reaction

The idea here is to do anything to avoid being the boring boyfriend. You want to be that dark triad, bad boy who puts her through the emotional rollercoaster.

41. Teasing your girl in public 

Maybe you decided to take your girl on a walk throughout the city - how do you tease her then?

Always keep plausible deniability

Before you tease your girl in public, you gotta realize that there are lots of whiteknight beta males that see teasing as wrong and abusive. 

Who cares? Let the haters hate. 

Well it’s not that simple. A lot of these losers can and will make life really hard for you and some will even want to fight you! Ask me how I know… 

And that’s why I say: always keep plausible deniability i.e. tease her in a way that you can excuse it as just having fun.

The gentleman method

As you’re entering a building, open the door for her. By now she should see you as such an asshole that she’s surprised, “why is he being such a gentleman?”

It is at this point that you have 2 options:

  1. Before she gets in, you push past her, almost making her walk right into the door! Then you back out and this time let her walk through.
  2. You let her though then lecture her about how in the days of old, men used to let women in first as a tribal sacrifice to see if there are enemies on the other side

The Introduction Method

Whenever you’re meeting up with old friends with your girlfriend, introduce her as your ex-wife in a joking voice. 

The Vibrator

Get her to wear a butt plug in public or, even better, use a remote control vibrator - watch these YouTube videos to get an idea of what to expect:

And… 

Here's one of the highest rated remote control vibrator from LoveSense, a trusted company that has been around for a while: Lush 3 Vibrator

42. Teasing her at the gym

Pretty common for couples to go to the gym together, so here’s the teasing guide for the gym:

  1. Secretly spank her ass at every opportunity
  2. You’re knees are already weak so this shouldn’t be too difficult 
  3. You notice she’s staring at you using the mirror, approach her with a big smile and say “If you can do 5 pushups for me, we’ll talk about a coffee date
  4. Playfully laugh at her when she can’t lift as much as you can
  5. When you leave the gym, grab her arm feeling muscles and then ask her why you can’t feel anything…
  6. [The classic] When she asks for weights, knowing that she wants 10 pound dumbbells, hand her 2 pound dumbbell like she can’t handle more
  7. When she needs help lifting weights, help her, but do it a little too much so that she doesn’t have to do anything
  8. Instead of grunting, moan like her to embarrass her

Side note:

While these are good tips and tricks, I do not believe you should take your girl to the gym because it’s important to keep your romantic relationships about having tons of sex and fun, not making money, building muscle and self-improvement. 

43. Tease her while she’s putting her makeup on

So many hilarious ways to do this:

  1. As she’s getting her hair together, fluff her hair up with your hand 
  2. Randomly shut the bathroom lights off
  3. Replace all her mascara, etc. with crayons
  4. Repeatedly ask her if she’s ready yet, when she takes more than 5 minutes to get ready
  5. Right when she’s done and walking out of the house, throw a water balloon at her or use a super soaker. Less extreme option: get your hands wet and sprinkle water on her face while she’s trying to put her makeup on.

If you have any other ways to tease a girl in the bathroom, don’t be stingy - share them with all of us in the comments!

44. Teasing her while driving

At this point we are starting to break the line between sexual and fun teasing, but as you’ll soon see: there isn’t much of a difference. The end result is the same: you stop taking her seriously and control the frame.

Anyways, how do you tease your girl while in a car/ driving:

  1. While she’s driving, pull one of her boobs out of her tank top 
  2. Lock the door as she gets in or out
  3. If she starts bragging about how much of good girlfriend she is, challenge her to suck your dick
  4. Act all scared when she takes the wheel as if you don’t trust her driving, you need “a man” to be driving
  5. Blast the song “I Just Had Sex” by The Lonely Island 

45. Tease her with some pranks

Quick warning: Don’t do these pranks often and definitely not all of them at once. Guys who do these end up seeming suuuuper needy! Think of these pranks as salt. Some salt can bring out the taste in the food, too much makes it inedible. 

Anyways, here’s my favorite pranks:

  1. If your girlfriends’ second language is English, teach her fake English words and only tell her what they actually mean after she’s been using them in public for a while
  2. Give her an empty stick of gum.
  3. Tell her fake stories or explanations of things in a very convincing way even if she knows you’re not being serious
  4. Hide her stuff
  5. Untie her shoes while she’s wearing them, or better yet, tie her shoes together while she’s wearing them
  6. Turn off the bathroom lights - for just a couple of moments, enough to freak her out
  7. Pick up her little dog and hold him in her face so he licks her until she begs you to stop
  8. Ask her to buy “blinker fluid” for your car at  the local car shop - as seen in the following YouTube videos below...

And

Remember, if you’re not treating her like your 6 year old sister, you’re not teasing her right. The following zombie prank is a perfect example:

46. Physically pick her up

“Every man should be able to pick up his woman” - Unknown.

Picking her up is a great way to DHV (Display Higher Value). But if done correctly, it can be an amusing way to tease a girl. 

Here’s what I mean:

  1. She’s talking shit about how much stronger she is than you, just pick her up, cover her mouth as if to say “you aint’ shit compared to me”
  2. Pick her up and leave her in an uncomfortably high place.
  3. I used to this with my younger brothers and sisters: pick her up and tell her that you’re gonna throw her out the window or put her in the garbage 
  4. You can pick up her and then casually drop her when she least expects it. See following video:

And if you need a full step by step instruction, be sure not to miss this video… 

47. Teasing her at your place

Too many ideas in my head, I just need to share them with you:

  1. Walk into her and say Hey watch where you're going.
  2. When she asks for something, pretend to hand it to her, but pull away the second she’s about to reach whatever’s in your hand
  3. Take up all the space on the couch so that she has to fight to gain an inch and only gets to sit out of your own “good will”
  4. Put your ice cold hands on her back or better yet, drop an ice cube in her bra
  5. Deliberately ignore her the second you get home by playing a game
  6. Don’t put the bathroom seat down or do something that you know she doesn’t like when you do it, putting the beer can right on the stove
  7. Take the food your girlfriend is preparing for the both of you
  8. If she’s chilling, maybe scrolling through Instagram, put your naked-ass feet right in front of her and enjoy her reaction
  9. Deliberately lie on her side of the bed, making her have to fight you for her “slot”
  10. After washing your hands, throw water droplets on her face
  11. Loudly chew in her ears

What I said when talking about pranks applies here too: do not everdure these tricks, otherwise you’ll seem beyond needy.

48. Scare her

Scaring your girlfriend is a form of teasing because when you dig down, you learn that both of them have the same effect: making her reactive to you and regaining the frame in the relationship.

Anyways, here’s how you do it:

  1. Casually hand her a rubber snake or spider without giving her the chance to figure out what it is
  2. Scare her when she turns the corner (sometimes saying “hi” is enough)
  3. Hide under the bed and grab her legs when she’s lying down (this may seem like too much effort, do it at your own risk)
  4. Welcome her come with a scary mask 

49. Tickle her

Before writing this piece I wasn’t aware of the whole NSFW part of tickling so to be clear: I am not referring to that part, I’m talking about the good-old, fun tickling. The type of tickling that you loved as a kid. Do that and she’ll love it.

Part Five: Sexually Teasing A Girl 

Read the following statement with a grain of salt.

You want to make each tease progressively more offensive until you only apologize when you bash her head against the wall when changing sex positions.

Before some of y'all lose your minds, let me explain myself:

We started this guide by explaining how teasing a girl is made up of 3 elements:

  1. Being cocky
  2. Being sexual
  3. Having fun

At the very beginning of your approach, you tease her very lightly: very little cockiness and tone down all the sexuality. Once you become a couple, you crank the sexuality up and be 10 times more cocky. 

Now, in Part Five it’s time to take it even further. I want you to be exponentially more sexual, cocky and fun with each of your teases until you only apologize when you bash her head against the wall when changing sex positions…

And here’s how… 

50. Tease her with kisses

Here we go…

The Elbow Kiss Method

Insist that she kisses you in some weird place (elbow, eyebrow, belly button). She’ll resist at first, but when she finally kisses you, act all disgusted, tell her “why would you do something like that?!”

The Gross Kiss Method

You come home and she enthusiastically greets you with a big kiss. Instead of acting all grateful, telling her how much you love her, act all grossed out.

How To Kiss A Girl Teasingly 

The core principle here is that you're adapting your sexual strategy to appeal to female nature. As a guy, you don’t need any sexual warm up. You’re ready to smash hard the moment she spreads her legs. But girls are different. Girls need a build up of sexual tension… a tease. And here’s how to do it with kissing:

  1. Lean in for the kiss (11 Dead-Simple Steps & 32 Examples to Lean in for a Kiss) when you know she wants it bad (13 Signs [With 53 Examples] to Tell if a Girl Wants to Kiss You), but kiss her cheek instead
  2. Back out, playing hard to get (15 Steps [With Examples] to Play Hard to Get) and make that hoe wait for it
  3. Kiss her on the back of her neck while whispering naughty things in her ear (tell her what you’re going to do with her once you get to the bedroom, tell her how sexy she looks, etc.)
  4. Once you get back home, don’t immediately get naked and start fucking. Instead, pull up her dress and kiss her whole body (stomach, inner thighs, right on top on her vagina, etc) while caressing her boobs
  5. Now she’s dripping wet and dying to be taken, get right inside her and make out 

The core theme is that you gotta take things slow (even in the last step #5), it’s how you use teasing to build sexual tension and it’s what girls need to get wet. [20]

51. Lick her face teasingly

Clarification first:

I’m talking about licking her face, not her vagaga. 

Anyways, the title says it all: lick her face. 

  1. You can first lightly lick her face to test how she reacts to it
  2. Once you’re sure she likes being licked, you can go in for a “full-face lick” by licking from her chin, cheeks to her forehead in the grossest way possible
  3. You can add a light bite to her neck (or wherever) like you want to “eat her alive” or lovingly - like a lion to his cubs 
  4. Say some naughty words into her ear. Alternatively say some stupid shit into her ears to show her that you don’t care about putting together the right words for her
  5. If she tries giving you girly resistance (meaning you know she wants it, but doesn’t want to seem easy), say “why you being so mean, I’m just trying to kiss you” or “I feel so dejected, I thought you liked my kisses.”
  6. After you’ve licked her and she shrieks “OMG, that wasss soooo gross”, laugh at her face like you know she couldn’t resist it
  7. Because 99% do love being licked, she will inevitably try lick-kissing you back which is when you continue to fuck with her by letting her do it, but tell her that no one is better than the master. You can go on to sexually escalate and fuck her, but that’s your choice. 

By now you should already know why your girl loves this… 

It’s because you’re giving her a massive positive emotional spike of dominance, love, trust which she can’t resist no matter how “gross” it is.

52. Pin her down

Pinning a girl down is the core of teasing any girl in bed as you’re showing she has no sexual power over you.

What an introduction! Anyways, there are a plethora of ways to pin your girl down:

  1. Using the weight of your body to pin her down. You can even do this in a purely playful way on the couch by sitting on her 
  2. While undressing her, you use her own shirt to pin her arms behind her back by only half taking it off
  3. Get her on her stomach and put her hands behind her back and hold her wrists with one hand. Use your other hand to grab her hair from the roots and pull. 
  4. While in doggy style hold both on her hands down onto the mattress and make her arch her back which will allow you do drive in deeper
  5. Use the blanket to wrap her up like a burrito then laugh about how vulnerable and weak she is
  6. To make things easier, you can always use always use bondage equipment like this highly rated one from amazon 

53. Spank her ass

Spanking a girl's ass falls into the category of sexually teasing girls for the same reason pinning girls down is in that category: you’re showing her that you’re in full control and she has zero sexual power over you. 

Note: we’ve touched on this topic in Smack her ass, however, this time we’re taking it to a whole new sexual level.

Anyways, here’s how you spank dat’ ass: 

  1. Always test the waters by lightly spanking her ass, once you see she likes it continue with the following steps
  2. Have a safe word so that she knows she can ask you to stop at any times if it’s too much
  3. Keep in mind that the following steps aren’t limited to her ass, you can spank pretty much anything; her boobs, pussy, thighs, etc.
  4. Warm up her ass (and her mind) by starting lightly or rubbing her ass or slowly pulling down her pants if you’re going to spank her through her underwear.
  5. You want to spank upwards, from under her cheeks. Avoid spanking her too high even if she’s begging for it by sitting on your lap. Her lower back is going to be very sensitive to pain, so inching higher will quickly take you out of her pleasure zone and into some painful territory.
  6. Spank her ass dead center so that she also feels the reverberation in her pussy.
  7. Talk dirty: Bend out, Show me your slutty ass, That ass is begging to get spanked, I’m gonna give your ass exactly what I want, You like it, don’t you?, Good girl, I can’t hear you!, etc. 
  8. Rub her ass afterwards to reduce the sting and show her how much you love the feeling of her ass in her hands
  9. Tell her how much you love the sound her ass makes when you spank it
  10. Alternate cheeks and the intensity of each spanking
  11. Don’t just spank her ass with you hand, use all sorts of things: pots, pans, ruler, 
  12. Spank her in all positions: while in doggy style, she’s straddling her, etc.
  13. You can try getting her feet up in the air where you can alternate between spanking her and fingering her ass until she squirts [21]
  14. You can try slapping her inner thighs, bouncing my hand between the two sides very quickly

The reason why girls love spanking is because it gives girls the rare opportunity to release control and give themselves over to their man in the most vulnerable, submissive way. [22]

54. Tease her about her ability to sexually satisfy you

Listen closely, this is one of the best techniques to get a blowjob from girls you only just met.

Tell her that most girls, probably her too, can’t make you cum from a blowjob i.e. most girls aren’t good enough to sexually satisfy you.

This has the opposite effect of what you’d expect her to do logically: 

Instead of making her feel discouraged from all the teasing, she’ll go out of her way to win you over and sexually satisfy you by giving you the blowjob of your life. 

55. Tease her with your dick

Couple techniques:

  1. Making her wait even when you know she’s ready and you can feel how wet she is. “You’re not getting my cock yet!”
  2. Running your throbbing cock across her body
  3. Taking a shower together, take your dick and slap her with it.
  4. Rubbing her dick across her pussy (over her clit, in between her labia) 
  5. Before you do anything, tell her what your going to do with your cock to her imagination on fire

From learning sexual teasing like this to mastering basic attraction, you’ll greatly benefit from The Obsession Method by Kate Spring

Click on any of the following thumbnails to get a preview of her course:

56. Tease her boobs

First, here are some playful ways to tease a girl about her boob:

  1. Without warning, pour water in her cleavage. When she asks you what the fuck you’re doing. Tell her that you’re trying to get her boobs to grow.
  2. Try the arguably funny TikTock challenge: spray windex on her boobs and tell her that it’s fine because “it’s fine because windex is for flat surfaces only”
  3. Undo her bra strap through her shirt when she’s busy

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move onto the sexual part of teasing a girls boobs - and get so good at it that you can bring any girl to a boob-orgasm:

  1. Do not start teasing her boob, until you’ve kissed her all over and you can tell she’s interested
  2. Kiss all around her boobs
  3. Use your finger to trace around her boobs
  4. Stroke her nipples in a V shape with your finger
  5. Use your fingers to play with her boobs (think: fondle)
  6. Hold her boobs with your hands (gently or firmly, whatever she enjoys more)
  7. Run your hands or feather tickler across her boobs
  8. Keep variating and playing with the pressure and watching how her body reacts
  9. Now for the teasing part: Edging! When you see that she’s aroused, back down. Encourage her to breathe, calm her down. Once she’s relaxed, start up again. Realize that rushed sessions aren’t enough to bring most women to a boob orgasm, so make sure you’re enjoying it too and take your time.
  10. Now that you’ve been taking your time and she’s fully aroused, you can take it to the next level
  11. Move to the underside of her boobs which is usually more sensitive
  12. Lightly pinch her boobs with your fingers
  13. Lightly bite her boobs
  14. Suck her nipples (you can also try to fit as much of her boobs as possible in your mouth and suck that way)
  15. Rinse and repeat and if she can biologically get a boob orgasm, she’ll definitely get one

Note:

Know that her nipples are gonna be sensitive to different degrees depending on the time of the month. 

57. Teasing a girl after you’ve had sex

Lots of ways, here’s some proven methods:

  1. Sometimes girls want to know how much you love her after you had sex. So if she asks you what you’d do if a bear or robber broke into the house, tell her that you’d happily sacrifice her for your own safety 
  2. If you’re driving her home after having sex and she tells you that she loves doing __ sex, such as blowjobs, anal, etc. - pull right over and do it - even if you feel spent.
  3. Give her a forehead kiss “good girl”
  4. Pat her on the head and say “good job”
  5. After having sex and she wants to leave. You: Oh, you can’t use me like that. 

Part Six: Cocky-Funny (CF)

58. What is Cocky-Funny?

Cocky funny is a pattern that involves a cocky statement that is self-amusing and hence funny. 

Let’s break it down…

  • The first, immediate difference between cocky-funny (hereafter, “CF”) and teasing is that teasing is bringing the battle to them, you are the one initiating. CF is when they bring the battle to you and you respond with a self-amusing, cocky statement.
  • The reason we call this COCKY-funny and use a COCKY-statement is because being COCKY is exactly what CF is all about. As mentioned several times, teasing is made up of 3 elements: having fun, being sexual and cockiness. CF takes the “cocky” element of teasing and puts it on heavy steroids until it becomes its own monster. 
  • “...self-amusing and hence funny” - Now the reason why your cocky statement is funny is because it’s “self-amusing” which is it’s own type of humor. There are different types of humour (self-deprecating, call-back, cheek-in-tongue etc.). In this case you are funny because you are raising your status in front of an audience and you are not trying to hide it. You comment something cocky about yourself, then you are intentionally raising your status compared to the other person (in a way that it is clear that you are joking) and that simply amuses you to their expense.
  • That last part, “hence funny,” is crucial because that’s the element that provides value to her and differentiates you from random jerkoffs trying to seem confident. 
  • Rejection doesn’t matter with CF: you think instead: well, she didn’t like that, but I thought it was fucking funny and I will keep doing it just because I think it is funny. The essence of self-validation. You fart or burp, when she tells you how gross it is, start laughing uncontrollably imitating her voice. You don’t care what she says or does when doing what you want to do. It’s SELF-amusement.
  • It’s important to play with the intensity of each CF move. Some need to be a strong spike to pull her out of her crummy mood. Others just need to be strong enough to maintain your dominance in the relationship.
  • You try making her self-conscious being CF in a serious voice, waiting for her to lose her mind, then laughing in her face. When she’s complaining about how she doesn’t know when you’re being serious, you know you’re doing it right.

59. How to apply Cocky-Funny

Now that we got the basics of CF down, let’s talk about all the different ways to apply CF and give you a bunch of examples:

60. The Backhanded Compliment

Here’s the definition of a backhanded compliment: 

“A compliment that implies it is not really a compliment at all.”

As long as you say it in a cocky way, it’s fine. Here are some examples:

  1. You have freckles, that’s funny
  2. You have some scary, intense eyes. My dick is confused. 
  3. Your dimples remind me of my gay friend
  4. You’re funny sometimes… not right now, but sometimes you are!

Here’s the formula:

  1. Find an article about complimenting girls, say: How to Compliment a Girl's Eyes In 11 Fail-Proof Ways With 32 Examples [NEW] | datingarmory.com 
  2. Flip in the compliment
  3. Add a cocky touch to it

There you have a brand new CF, backhanded compliment!

61. Disregard Her Experience 

Say, for example, your girl starts complaining about something. Here’s what you could do to completely disregard her experience:

  1. Rubbing a circle around your nipple while looking her directly in her eyes
  2. Staring at her with a funny face while totally ignoring her protests
  3. Tell her a completely irrelevant joke 
  4. Take out a water gun and start spraying her
  5. Starting singing a ridiculous song over and over “if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands..” - make sure she’s clapping with you
  6. If you’re in your apartment with her and no one else is around, you can unzip your pants and pull out your dick
  7. While she’s complaining, lean in for a kiss and make sure she kisses you

62. The Cocky-Hyperbole Method

The Hyperbole Method is where you exaggerate what she’s saying which shows her that you don't take her seriously, which, to her, means that you've got better things to do with your time (related to “Agree and Amplify”).

Here’s some good examples:

  1. She asks you what you do for a living. You say that you’re a lion tamer. She’s like “Yeah, yeah, now tell me really!”. And that’s when you say “Well actually, I selectively deal with the lionesses.”
  2. Other Cocky ways to respond when she asks you what you do for a living is: I’m a male model, I’m an enlightened being, etc. 
  3. When she tells you about a problem she’s having in life and she’s looking for advice, jokingly tell her to go kill herself
  4. She’s all mad at you for whatever bullshit reason and she’s calling you all sorts of wonderful names, continue her sentence with “Yes, and I’m also a poopy head”

Examples of what wouldn’t be Cocky-Hyperbole would be:

  1. She says that you look so young and you say “I know, I'm actually supposed to be in time-out right now.”
  2. She asks you what you do with your free time and you say “I do lots of laundry” 

Both of the previous 2 examples are funny, and she’ll laugh no doubt, but it’s not cocky. So keep that in mind when using the Cocky-Hyperbole Technique.

63. The Obvious Liar 

Simple: you obviously lie to her, for example:

  1. She tells you that she’s a defense lawyer, tell her “My luck! I just robbed the bank down the road. What can I do?”
  2. Someone ate the cookies. She knows you did. She asks you if you did. You lie with a cocky smile.

Again, it shows girls that you aren’t taking them seriously.

64. The Obfuscate Method 

To obfuscate means to confuse. 

So The Obfuscate Method means that you confuse your girl in a cocky way to differentiate oneself from the mass of beta men who engage in boring conversation, asking interview questions. For example:

  1. Excuse me, you wouldn't have happened to have seen a pet tarantula around here, have you?
  2. So, when are we gonna get married? I want a family of 10 by tomorrow.
  3. Thank you for calling [your name]. We are proud to announce that we have been rated one of the top 10 customer service-oriented companies in the tri-state area. Please hold and one of our amazing support agents will answer your call as soon as possible.

This may be the hardest one of the 5 methods to pull off because if your frame is weak, you’ll immediately seem beyond weird.

65. The Sexual Cocky-Funny

The first thing to know about sexual CF is that it’s best done ambiguously with plenty of plausible deniability. 

Example:

You’re having a BBQ with your girlfriend and you start saying things like:

  1. Putting thick sausages in buns
  2. Eating juicy hamburgers
  3. Buns without anything on them
  4. I like splashing gravy on buns
  5. Etc.

You can also twist their words into the most dirty, sexual things in the world (she: I’m thirty. You: You’re dirty!?). Remember, girls LOVE guys who dare to mock what they’re saying, so if you get a chance to do it, don’t be scared!

While the previous examples are good, I believe the easiest way to be sexually CF is by accusing them of trying to seduce you and being sexually aggressive. Check out the following examples:

  1. Please try to be a little more discreet about trying to seduce me
  2. Girls seduce me best while touching me, you won’t get far by just texting me
  3. Seduce me later, I’ve got to get back to work
  4. Hi there, I know I'm pretty and that you are attracted to me, but could you maybe hide your impulses? 
  5. Oh come on, you’ve never met a guy as handsome as me before? Seems like you’re not really sure how to react
  6. Are you hitting on me?
  7. Get your mind out of the gutter!
  8. I see what you’re doing, your feminine wiles won’t work on me.
  9. No, I will not hook up with you right here!
  10. Can you please stop checking out my ass?
  11. Don’t look at me like that, I’m not a piece of meat!
  12. Stop trying to seduce me, I know what you’re up to.
  13. Hey, stop thinking those dirty thoughts — we just met”

And here are a couple miscellaneous ways of using sexual CF:

  1. Make an observation by saying "your dress looks like a present" if she has some weird bow in the back and you think it’s funny. (She may even let you unwrap the present later!)
  2. Put an apple in the middle of her ass as she’s lying down (using her sexuality for your own pleasure and entertainment)
  3. If you’ve approached a girl who’s holding a cake or brags about having a nice painting collection. Tell her “at this point, I’m just flirting with you for that cake.” (As long as you say it right, she’ll laugh because everyone knows guys only desire girls for their sexuality, not their material success.)

If you have any other ideas, as always, please share them in the comments.

66. More Cocky-Funny tips

Lastly, here are some of miscellaneous CF tips:

  1. If she’s holding something (e.g. a cake), assume that it’s for you
  2. Assume that she’s depressed, e.g. that she’s gonna enjoy her birthday cake all by herself. 
  3. Tell her that what she’s doing or what her plans are don’t make any sense
  4. Use other people and things in the environment to further your tease
  5. Remember that your energy/emotional level trumps all “CR rules”

67. Last words

At a deeper level CF is about bringing your inner-power back to yourself. From now on you don’t need a brand new gadget or toy to be entertained. Instead you use the world around you as your own entertainment using CF.

Part Seven: Examples Of Teasing

68. Ask a girl teasing questions

I’ve got too many articles about asking girls questions…

  1. 150 Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl That'll Make Her Laugh | datingarmory.com 
  2. 100 Questions to Ask a Girl You Just Met So That You Get to Know Her | datingarmory.com 
  3. 100 Weird [And Unusual] Questions To Ask A Girl | datingarmory.com 
  4. And the list goes on…

But here you want to know how to tease a girl with plain questions… so here’s my list:

  1. So what else can you do to act like my future ex-girlfriend? 
  2. Can you stop reminding me that you’ll be my ex-wife?
  3. [She tells you that she has no hobbies besides watching Netflix] So how did you survive before we met?
  4. So do you have a dick? No! So what could possibly be the problem? God created man and woman to be together.. 
  5. How rude? Did you just go for my butt? 
  6. Oh my God! Will you stop staring at my crotch? You know I like it forward, but that’s even too much for me. Come on, don't deny...
  7. Remind me why I approached you in the first place?
  8. I zoned out 5 minutes ago.. What were you saying?
  9. You like ___ food, I hate that. Now what do we have in common?!
  10. [When she’s not speaking clearly out of excitement being with you] What language are you speaking? English? What part of the world are you from?
  11. Are you always this difficult? [23, 24, 25]

69. How to tease a girl over text

No introductory novel here! Let’s start with the examples:

  1. You and I wouldn’t even get along in a Disney movie
  2. [She starts with sexual innuendo] Ask her to explain herself as if you’ve never heard of sex and don’t even know what your dick does 
  3. [She tells you that she’s having a good time doing ___, tell her...] You wanna come over and have even more fun?
  4. You are dangerous. What kinda evil plans do you have for me?
  5. You know our relationship is gonna be fights and makeup sex. Why do you even want this?
  6. [She misspells something or autocorrect does it’s thing, tell her] It’s OK, take your time texting. You don’t have to be nervous. 
  7. [when she sounds too eager to go out with you] Well you’re an easy kill
  8. [teasing her when she doesn’t text back] You never write, you never call, rent is due, and the kids/pets are worried sick. What should I tell them/do about them?
  9. [she texts you that she’s doing her homework or some boring chore] ‘Mmm that’s a bit much for me, I like to take things slow, you know, go for a walk in the park, but that’s probably too boring for you...
  10. [she texts you asking what you’re doing] tell her that you’re finishing a massive project, e.g. building a nuclear reactor, time machine, collecting minerals on the moon - something so huge it’s ridiculous.
  11. [after you text her a nice compliment and she says thank you, tell her] I’m spoiling you right now (you can say this too whenever you buy her a cheap thing)
  12. [after dating her and you want to let her know that you’re still thinking over her over text] This bug here in the corner reminds me of your meaningless existence (only say this when you know, for sure, that she won’t take it personally) 
  13. [When you don’t react to her text and she asks you where your at] My apologies, I’ve been busy the last couple of days writing my love letter to you
  14. [after it’s obvious that she’s sexually interested in you] You: you know what I think we should be friends. Her: WTF. You: and give me a friendly blowjob… [26, 27, 28, 29]

70. How to tease a girl examples

This list will mostly include the examples we used throughout this post (nothing wrong with some review), but also new ideas and things to say. Enjoy!

  1. I’ve never seen such calm blue eyes in my life, but what the hell happened to your eyebrows?
  2. I had a dream about you last night. Fuck. You really gotta invade my dreams too?
  3. How did you burn the omelette? You’ve officially lost your position as my head cook!
  4. You’re a little cranky, aren’t you? I think you need a little nappy-nap
  5. How about you sit on the side for a moment, maybe draw something with the crayons from your room
  6. Why are you mad? OK, OK, I’ll buy you some play doh
  7. Don’t make me ask you again. Do you need a spanking?
  8. [perfect for approaching a girl at the bar] I think you’re a little too young to be drinking something like that, young lady!
  9. Did a fat friend give you the idea to wear this dress?
  10. [When she bumps into you] All I wanted was a girlfriend who could walk straight…
  11. [When you’re on a date at the park and she won’t get on the swings] So you’re too scared? I bet you’ll have a great time feeding the gold-fish with your future husband
  12. I can’t believe you like ___ movie, we can’t be friends anymore.
  13. Did you just say that the sky is blue? Fuck it, this date is over. 
  14. I only like girls who can recite the Pledge of Allegiance while unicycling across the Grand Canyon. So is this gonna work out or not?While opening the door to your apartment, make her think that you’re opening the door to let her in first, but then shoulder her to the side and say something like “let the master enter first” (teasing a girl with sweet words)
  15. While she’s taking a bathroom break when watching a horror movie together, turn of the bathroom light momentarily or scare her when she walks out
  16. Throw your clothing on her while changing, then make poke fun at her about how she can’t catch or when she does try to throw them back at you, tell her that she throws like a girl
  17. When she asks for your pen, playfully hand it to her then snatch your hand back
  18. While she’s on the phone with her friend talking suspiciously quietly, sing aloud “secrets secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone”
  19. While doing she’s doing boring house work like cleaning the dishes or doing the laundry, look at her in the eye and make some farting noises
  20. Playfully steal something from her hand and then don’t let her get by holding your hand too high in the airShe comes back home after running a marathon and tells you that she got very close to first place, tell her “OK, prove it” - while not willing to believe that she did well no matter how many pictures she shows you.
  21. Your girlfriend brags about how she allowed one of her friends to stay at her place after she got kicked out by her landlord or her house burned down. Respond with “I think I did hear something about that. You kept her in the basement and threw her down a loaf of bread once a week. She’s very grateful”.
  22. She tells you that she just got accepted into Harvard or that she’s been studying there for the last couple of years. Tease her with “They let just anybody go there nowadays, huh?”
  23. She starts trying to have an intellectual/ political discussion about why she loves __ president. Respond with something like “Impressive! Not too bad for a girl brain” (or any other classical misogynistic line) or “Sounds like it took you 23 years [or however many years old she is] to form this opinion” or “Wow, you definitely have a future in this… boring people to death!”.She walks out of the bathroom after spending lots of time doing her makeup. Tell her “what’s with the crayon on your face?”.
  24. “You’d be the hottest girl in town, if only you didn’t have caveman eyebrows like that.” When using this on multiple girls, you come across a confident girl, maybe a bikini model, who counters with “my eyebrows… are perfect”, in that case, here’s what you need to respond with: “like I said, perfect for a caveman”. If she originally responded with “Well my boyfriend likes them”, you respond with “Well, living with a caveman does have its perks”.
  25. “The kids need to take off their clothes before coming into the house. They are dirty and I have spent all morning cleaning”Lick your thumb and try to wipe off the tattoo. When she asks you what the hell you are trying to do, simply say “Oh, nevermind, it’s just art”.
  26. If she gets a new tattoo and asks you how it looks, respond with “compared to what?”
  27. If she has flower tattoos all over her arms, tell her “well I’m never gonna need to bring you a bouquet of flowers!”
  28. “As long as you get my name tatted, I don’t care how many tattoos you have”
  29. Ask her if she got the memo for wearing stupid hats 
  30. You’re out clothing shopping together and your girlfriend asks you what you think about a certain dress she’s trying on, tell her “uuuugh, you look like shiiiiit”. If there’s a sales girl there who tries to protest and convince her that she looks good, ignore her and tell her to bring the next dress for your girlfriend to try on (there’s actually a good chance that the sales girl will develop a crush on you after seeing how much confidence you have).
  31. [The following works whether you just approached her or have been dating for a while] tell her that she looks like she just walked out of ___. Fill the blanks with anything crazy: warzone, zombie apocalypse, etc.
  32. When she’s carrying around a shovel or some manly tool: “You making sand castles with that?”
  33. Carrying a bunch of stuff - just laugh at her and say “it’s gonna take more than that to hide that you're fat!”. If she then puts the stuff down and proves to you that she’s actually thin, tell her that it’s gonna take more than that to truly show you how thin she is [wink, wink].
  34. If she’s carrying a massive water bottle. Tell her “So what type of camel are you?”.
  35. “That’s a shitty laptop, let me guess, you inherited it from the last T-rex that died?”
  36. If she pulls out some food from her pocket, ask her if she’s been saving up from McDonalds 
  37. She spills water (or messes up something else basic), tells her “you're __ years old and you still haven’t figured out this whole drinking thing?”
  38. Isn’t walking normally: "You'd think you'd have gotten the whole walking thing down by now..."
  39. Trying to carry heavy stuff around, tell her “You are adorably bad job of trying to act cool”
  40. If she has this weird habit, tease that too 
  41. She’s taking a dump, joke about how much toilet paper she uses
  42. Over-exaggerate her Umms and pauses (NOT if she naturally stutters!)
  43. Constantly misinterpret what she’s saying in funny ways (you can do this with the lyrics of songs too)
  44. Fuck with her words and take them in sexual/ innappropretiate context.
  45. If she completely butchers a sentence or word, say something like “"So how long have you been speaking English?" or "One language. You've only had to learn one fucking language…” or in a more playful way, you can respond with “God I love the way you words”
  46. When she butchers a word, remind her about it later when she’s using that word again, just to trip her up
  47. Sometimes you don’t have to say anything when teasing her about the way she talks, sometimes a funny look will do just fine
  48. Only try this in relationships. What you do is mimik her the most ridiculous mocking voice, e.g. “blee, blah, boop… my name is ___, I like being stupid and rude… goop, goo, blah, blah, blah…”, then followed up with “that’s how you talk”. You can take this even further by moving her lips with your fingers as you’re mimicking her. Again, only use this technique after you have strong rapport with her. You are unbelievably hideous 
  49. Is anything on your face symmetrical? (If she tries to poke fun at your nose being slightly crooked, reply with “I was fucking a girl so hard on night that I pulled my nose and it’s been crooked like that ever since”.)
  50. So what part of your face did you get plastic surgery for? 
  51. “I never thought I’d see a witch in real life!” Or “Oh’ so now I know what I witch looks like, thank you!”
  52. [When she walks out of the bathroom wearing in sexy bikini in your favorite color] Holly fuck, you look horrendous (funny jokes to tease a girl)
  53. So, what were you named after? The last T-rex that died?
  54. If she has a weird name, just laugh the moment you hear it e.g. Anis, Buttler, Freek, Vaga, etc.
  55. How did you end up with a name like that? Born during a zombie apocalypse? 
  56. Teasing her with nicknames
  57. Tease her with stereotyping and make fun of her origin story
  58. Tell her “that ass is mine” (never say “I can't believe I am so lucky to have a girl with an ass like that” - it’s such a needy, simp way of talking)
  59. She’s cooking food for her, smack her butt while looking at the food and maybe even stealing some before it ready
  60. Smack her butt in a playful way so that she knows you’re expecting her run after you to get back at you
  61. If she’s giving you a hug, don’t just smack her butt, hold onto it, enjoy it, only then let it go
  62. When she is doing her make-up in front of the mirror while you’re waiting for her, pull her pants down to her ankles and give her a slap on her ass. 
  63. Drive her so crazy by always slapping her butt that she needs to tackle you to the bedroom to get you to stop (and you know what to do from there…)
  64. When you’ve been smacking her ass for a regularly, you can “sneak up” on her, but “let” her see you so that she’s expecting to get her ass smacked, but then walk away saying “you don’t deserve it” Or make her wait a few moments to increase the tension and only then smack her ass
  65. If she’s acting naughty, tell her “clearly, your last boyfriend didn’t spank you enough”
  66. If you know she’s dying for a good smack (you’ll be able to tell by the way she’s sticking out her butt or lying down next to you without any shorts on), use both of your hands and say “Man, it's looking good today! It’s like a cupcake!”
  67. If can tell that she specifically enjoyed being spanked, dance with her for a second by pressing your butt against hers
  68. Teasing her with playful hair pulling
  69. When she walks into a table, tell her, common now, try being smarter than tables. I know it can be hard..

71. How to tease a girl on social media

When it comes to social media you are very much limited to what you can do, so here are some steps adapted from my article 43 Exclusive Methods To Flirt With a Guy In Any Situation [& Countless Examples] | datingarmory.com

  1. Reply to her posts on social media with a relevant tease 
  2. Create a teasing post about girls in general, but tag her in the post
  3. Post something that you know would make it easy for her to tease you about and use it as bait to start teasing her too
  4. DM her with any of texting examples we laid out earlier
  5. If she tried to impress with a post or DM, tell her that she’ll have to try harder
  6. Tease her with posts of being surrounded with other girls

These are some decent techniques, but you only want to use that social media platform to get off of it and meet her in real life because that’s when the real teasing starts (just like when you’re texting a girl).

Part Eight: Clarifications & Summary

72. Keep your teasing spontaneous

Think of pickup lines. Do they ever work when they sound pre-planned? 

Same with teasing. The more spontaneous and contextual your tease seems, the better it’ll work.

73. How to know if your flirting was successful

Here are some signs to know that you’re teasing was successful:

  1. She punches you in way you know she’s not trying to hurt you
  2. She seems astonished that you had the guts to say that!
  3. She says “I hate you”
  4. She gives you a half hearted laugh
  5. You can tell that she misses it when you don’t do it (e.g. slapping her ass)
  6. She gives you an obvious eye roll
  7. You lots of faux indignation 
  8. She tries to frantically deny whatever you’re teasing her about
  9. She comes around by teasing you (mutual seduction)

And if you’re still unsure, read Do girls like me: 17 hidden signs that girls like you and if that’s still not enough, read 18 Little Known Signs that a Shy Girl Doesn't Like You | datingarmory.com

74. What not to do when teasing a girl

We’ve already covered many of these no-no’s, but hey, no one’s gonna die with a little review:

  1. Don’t seem drunk or weird - usually happens when you’re teasing a girl way above your league. 
  2. Tease, don’t criticize 
  3. Don’t seem like you’re putting too much effort into each tease (e.g. filling up her car with balloons)
  4. Don’t tease a girl on the way to her grandmas funeral 
  5. Don’t be overly sexual at the beginning, rushing is the death of seduction
  6. Not calibrating to the girl you are with
  7. Don’t overly prank 
  8. Losing the fun side of teasing
  9. Worrying about your appearance and lacking confidence
  10. Taking every little thing she says seriously and trying to have a logical conversation in the context of teasing is repulsive 
  11. Not keeping your finger on the pulse i.e. not being keenly aware of the way she feels about your teasing style. Sometimes you need to adjust the power you give to each of the 3 core elements (fun, sexuality, cockiness) until she reacts well.

And that wraps up this article, after 17,000+ words I hope you enjoyed it!

- Colt Smith

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