How To Ask a GIRL Out Over TEXT In 9 SOLID Steps

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Once you learn how to ask a girl out over text you’ll be getting dates, laid and all the great stuff with the ladies! But you’ve first got to learn how to get a girl number.

I mean how you gonna ask her out if you don’t have her number… Oh’ gosh, you also need to learn how to approach a girl in order to get her number in the first place!

Too much to learn! Don’t worry about it….

Let me catch you up real quick so that you are at the stage of asking her out through texting. The first thing you gotta do is calmly approach a girl on the street. (We will discuss building confidence at the very end.)

How To Ask a GIRL Out Over TEXT

You’ve approached that girl and introduced yourselves. As you start having a fun conversation she starts to feel a connection towards you because you are strategically touching her.

You also make her laugh and you know that this girl likes you. From this point asking for her number is easy.

She gives you her number…. Now what? How do you ask her out? 

1. Decide where you want to take her out

Before you ask any girl out on a date you must know where you are going to take her. As a man you must go first and work out the details yourself.

That means before you text a girl you must know where you are taking her out and what time works for you. If that works with her, great.

If that time doesn’t work for her, come up with a different time and place. Don’t be afraid to be assertive.

And here a couple tips for you as you are thinking of the place you are going to take her:

First of all, don’t go expensive. You’ll make her feel that she needs to be all dressed up perfectly and unless you’ve got yourself a solid online business it’ll also make a nice dent in your wallet.

The next tip I have is to start in one place, but then let yourself move around. You can start by having coffee and finish off in the park.

The last tip I have for you, and this is more about what to do on a date, but I’ll tell you anyways. You’ve got to sit next to her, not opposite her.

Sitting next to her makes it feel much less official like a business meeting and more fun and playful. But most importantly it gives you the ability to touch her without being a creep. 

And you know that touching a girl is the fastest way to make her horny!

2. Ask her out directly

If you’ve just approached this girl at the gym, bar or really anywhere you can go straight for the date once you have her number. 

If you already know where you’re going to take her, what are you holding yourself back from? If it’s a lack of confidence then make yourself do it anyways. Send her a text now!

If you are too afraid, which is 100% understandable, then take the path that I did. I got myself a dating course that taught me all the exact steps that I needed to take and followed it.

Over the course of 3-5 months I lost my virginity and started getting laid on a frequent basis. I became an attractive man.

(I’ll tell you about the exact course at the end of this post if you are curious.)

3. ask her out to have fun

Never say “do you want to go on a date with me?”

Wait, what? 

I mean girls hate going on dates. Dating is too official. 

If you ask her out on a date she’ll feel too much pressure and will be much more likely to turn you down or even ghost you. Girls just want to have fun.

That why you ask her if she wants to have a coffee with you or if she wants to go to the sex museum with you. Maybe not the second one! 

But here’s my point: the less official you can make it the more likely she is to say yes. 

4. Ask her out at the right time

I know this is obvious, but think of this as a checklist of things you do before asking a girl out.

If you know that she works between 9-5 don’t ask her out for lunch! Or if you know she gets back from work exhausted, ask her out for the weekend.

5. Just Start talking

I’m assuming you are like most people and you don’t want to take the direct route and ask her out straight away. In that case the first thing you want to do is ask her questions first.

I’ve written a list of 50 questions for any girl and this is the perfect time to use them. All you need to do is start having a fun conversation.

Honestly there is no reason to make this complicated. You can ask her how her day went and take it from there.

6. Give her a compliment before you ask her out

Once you’ve got a good conversation going you want to give her a compliment. Make her feel good about herself.

Let her know that being around her is fun and pleasurable. You can even tease her in a flirty way. As long as she enjoys it, what you say doesn’t matter, but here are some examples:

  1. If you keep texting me you’ll lose your innocence
  2. You like ___, I can’t believe it, now we are BFF’s
  3. I had to approach you because you are so cute
  4. You look so adorable
  5. You have stunning eyes

This is the art of flirting with girls over text. One of the most important things you can learn.

7. Find out if this girl is ready to be asked out

Here’s how you can tell if a girl likes you over text:

Is she texting back to you fast? Although take this with a grain of salt because I’ve met a lot of girls that love to play hard to get. Nothing to worry about.

Does she send you a lot of emojis? When girls feel a lot of emotion they don’t hide. They will rain on you all the emojis they can find. Emojis = good sign.

Does she laugh at you corny jokes that you send her? This one is probably the most reliable sign out there. This is as true face to face as it is with texting. If she laughs, she likes you.

Does she send you random good morning and good night texts. You already know what this means, she likes you!

This is all very important because now you know when to ask her out. You know that she won’t reject you.

8. Ask her out

You’ve done a great job getting her in the mode of wanting to be asked out and now you are there. She’s waiting for that text.

But what do you actually say to her?

The Simplest way of asking a girl out

She’s already warmed up so you don’t need to be sneaky around here. Ask her if she wants to meet up with you at the nearest coffee shop.

If this is one of your first times I understand that it can be a little scary, but you’ve done all the work. There is no reason why she should reject you.

The fun way of asking a girl out

It all depends on the girl, but making it playful is fine. Follow this template:

Ask her if she knows a girl that wants to hang out and get coffee together. If she’s in the mood she’ll play along and say yes.

Another funny way is to ask her whether she likes doing something and when she says yes, offer to do it with her. For example:

You: “Do you like walking in the park?”

Her: “Yes.”

You: “Great, let’s go!”

This works for any dating venue. 

Have a boundaries

It’s entirely possible that the time you set won’t work out for her and she’ll try to push it off to a different time. And that’s fine.

But if she tells you that Sunday night is good for her and it doesn’t work for you because you need that time to build your business, tell her no. If it doesn’t work out for you, don’t force yourself.

You are showing her that you have a life. You have passions and you aren’t going to change your whole life around just for her.

Be assertive

The next thing you need to do is be assertive. Let her know where you are taking her out. You aren’t asking her.

Think of it as a suggestion. “Let’s go get some coffee today.” 

You don’t want to say “do you want to have coffee with me today.” That sounds needy and you’re making it easy for here to say no.

9. What to do if she doesn’t get back to you

I hate to break it to you my friend, but she might not seem interested. That doesn’t mean that she rejected you.

Sometimes she just wants more time, she’s in a bad mood, or she’s playing hard to get. There’s no reason to take any rejection personally. 

But let’s take the worst case scenario: you ask her out and she says no. Just because she doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you aren’t likable. 

You are a perfectly fun, attractive guy, just she wasn’t into you. Don’t wait for the whole world to love you before you love yourself.

If she does decline, let it go and move on with your life. Learn to approach the other millions of hotter girls in the world.


I sincerely hope that you don’t get rejected, but the number one way that I can guarantee you that you won’t get rejected is by being confident.

The hottest, sexiest thing to a woman is your confidence. 

Building core confidence is complicated. You need to change many beliefs. But there’s 2 ways of doing it.

The first way is by reading every post, YouTube video, and podcast on the internet and get completely confused and see zero results. 

The second way is to find a system that works for you. Finding a program that tells you exactly what to do and after 3 months you’ll be banging hot chicks.

I did the first way that wasted years of my life, but then I came across a complete seduction course called “The Tao of Badass”.

I’ve met people that read his book 5 years ago and still have notes on the course that they use till today. The course is about as legit as it gets.

It’s entirely possible that you aren’t ready for this yet. If you aren’t ready to study the course, take action, and start asking girls out, don’t waste your time and money.

But if you still have that hop of banging girls on a regular basis then I think I just gave you the greatest piece of advice for you. Take action now and succeed with women.

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work