When to KISS a Girl: The 9 Prime Times

Part of kissing a girl really well is knowing when to kiss a girl because even if you get all the techniques right, but get the timing wrong, you’re gonna get rejected.

In my article titled How to KISS a Girl on The First Date In 8 Irresistible Ways I point out that kissing is an art, not a process set in stone. 

This means that I can’t give you the exact second when you need to kiss your girl simply because there are no rules set in stone. 

With all of this in mind, the goal of this article is to give you the keys so that you can tell when’s the best time to lean in for the kiss.

I want you to become a master seducer with women, not some guy that copies pickup lines in an attempt to get laid.

If you have any questions or ideas be sure to drop them in the comment section and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can!

getting ready to kiss a girl at the best time

1. Kiss on your first dates

I really believe that the best time to kiss a girl is on your first (or maybe second date) with her which is why I wrote an entire post titled: How to KISS a Girl on The First Date In 8 Irresistible Ways.

Here’s the reason, once you start waiting for that moment you get to taste those delicious lips, it’ll just start getting more and more awkward for both of you.

That’s why I tell guys to move in for the first kiss as soon as they get the chance. Some guys even kiss when they approach girls on the street!

It’s much easier to kiss a girl on the first date then wait till it’s super awkward and force yourself to peck her lips!

2. Kiss only after you’ve escalated physically 

You never want to be the socially awkward guy who doesn’t know when a girl wants to kiss, always dive-bombing girls to get a kiss before they even feel attraction. This is not cool.

This is why I’m gonna give you the basics of escalation attraction so that girls want to kiss you.

You want to start by innocently caressing her hand and making her comfortable with physical contact.

You want to be making her laugh and giving her compliments throughout this entire process so that she feels happy to be with you.

If you can, sit closer to her and play with her hair. Give her big smiles and make sure you’re talking about things girls actually like talking about.

Never rush the process, but when you feel that she’s attracted to you, lean towards her, look into her eyes, put your hand on her cheek and kiss her.

It’s actually kinda simple, but if you’re looking for more information on this subject make sure you read my article titled How To Get a GIRL To KISS You – ON DEMAND. [1]

Kiss only after you’ve escalated physically 

3. Kiss when you want to kiss

Of course, don’t kiss when your girl doesn’t want to be kissed! That’s what we just finished talking about!

When I say “kiss when you want to kiss” I mean that girls only want to kiss when you take control and initiate the kissing.

If you’re constantly waiting for the moment when you’re sure she wants to kiss you, she won’t actually want to kiss you!

A girl will only want to kiss you when you go for it boldly, showing your dominance, masculinity and courage.

This means that when you kiss a girl when you want to kiss, you are actually kissing her when she wants to be kissed.

But how can you tell if she’s even OK with being kissed? Do this simple test:

Try holding her hand or caressing her back, does she pull away or does she back off? If she lets you massage her back she’s obviously waiting for you to go for a kiss.

If she pulls away, just wait some time, create a deeper emotional connection and then go for the kiss again.

Bottom line: stop waiting for the perfect moment, stop trying to win her approval all the time and just go for the kiss.

4. Kiss after you’ve build romantic tension

Kissing is only euphoric when it’s a great release of sexual or romantic tension. But how can you build that tension before kissing?

Emotionally tease her to build tension

This is my favorite one: all you need to do is playfully insult her and immediately you’ve got that magical tension. 

Here are some examples of teasing from from my post 11 Steps to Kiss a GIRL for The First Time With Total Confidence:

  1. What a dumb girl, why can’t you be a little more discreet about seducing me
  2. I guess you’re OK looking…
  3. I don’t have time for your perfect body [wink]
  4. Gosh what makes you think that your pretty face deserves my time?
  5. You better apologize about making me stare at those red, sexy lips
  6. You couldn’t flirt with a rock even if you tried [wink wink!]

She’s gonna smile and respond by teasing you in return therefore building even more tension that ready to explode in the most passionate kiss of your life.

Physically tease her to build tension

Another way you can build that tension which makes girls go bezerk for a passionate make out session is by physically teasing her.

It’s best to do this when you’re sure this girl is dying to kiss you. Start by leaning in as if you’re going in for the kiss, then back away.

Caress her cheek while giving her a big smile then back away again. 

She’s expecting you to kiss her, but you don’t which builds up tension.

After you’ve done that you can lean again towards her again making her think you’ll kiss her, but instead whisper something in her ear.

It’s the classic 2 steps forward, one step back technique and it makes girls get crazy horny very quickly.

By now she’s reached the climax: she’s dying for your kiss. Which is why you lean in one more time to actually kiss her and let her uncontrolled desire to explode over you.

when to kiss a girls lips

5. When she wants to kiss you: 

I know that I literally just told you to kiss her when you want to kiss her and now I’m telling you to kiss when she wants to kiss you!

Well the truth is that both are true and it all depends on the situation. But in this step we’re talking about kissing when she wants to kiss you.

So how can you tell if a girl wants to kiss you?

  1. She’s looking at your lips
  2. She’s constantly licking her own lips
  3. She put her legs against yours
  4. She’s laughing at your jokes
  5. She likes playing with your hands/ fingers
  6. She puts herself very close to you

If you see your date doing 2 or more of these it means that she’s dying to feel your lips against hers. Stop being scared and get that kiss! [1, 2]

6. When you date is finishing up

I usually tell guys to get their first kiss only when they’re finishing up their date because then they won’t get stuck looking at the girl awkwardly not knowing what to do.

As long as you’ve had an engaging conversation with the girl and she likes you, you’re ready to kiss her:

  1. Start by having a moment of silence 
  2. Look deeply into her eyes
  3. Lean in 
  4. Put your hand on her cheek
  5. And kiss her!

Since it’s already the end of the date you don’t have to sit around having an awkward conversation. Give her a compliment, hug her, wish her goodnight and get home!

7. When she’s lingering around for too long

Girls get mad when you don’t get this hint because it’s one of the more obvious ones they give when they want to be kissed.

You’re dropping her off at her house. It’s 10pm and for some reason she won’t get out of the car and is coming up with the most boring things to talk about. Why?

Because she’s hoping that you take advantage of the time she’s giving you and kiss her really good. She’s obviously giving you an opportunity to kiss her and you better take it.

You could also be waiting for the bus that’ll take her home and for some reason she’s getting really whiny and pushing her body against yours. Why do you think she’s doing that?

You guessed right! She’s trying to get you to kiss her.

Let me warn you: if you miss these opportunities enough times she will dump you. By not reading her signs you are showing her that you lack experience with women.

Make sure you read these sighs correctly and give her the kiss of her life.

8. Kiss before you start overthinking everything

Oh’ gosh how did I forget this one! You always want to kiss a girl before you start overthinking it and feeling that crippling anxiety that we all know too well.

This one takes priority over everything else. You need to kiss when you’re feeling the most comfortable.

If you realize that waiting till the end of the date will stress you out, kiss her at the beginning of the date. 

If you find yourself feeling extra confident while you’re having a fun conversation with your girl, just go for it, kiss her! Don’t wait for the perfect moment. 

You always need to kiss when you feel the most confident and least self-conscious. 

Of course, kissing at the end of the date or when you can tell she wants to kiss you can help alleviate your fears, but it all really comes down to how you’re feeling.

If you’re feeling confident, go for it.

If you’re feeling hesitant, scared or doubtful, wait for a better time.

9. When you’re in a private place

Keeping everything in mind it’s important you also know where to kiss. After all, making out in public can put a lot of social pressure on the girl to reject you.

Kissing while your still in a private place is perfect, for example:

  1. In the car
  2. In an alley
  3. In the bedroom…
  4. Right outside her house as you drop her off
  5. Dark theater

As long as you do some decent planning you don’t have to become the number one confident alpha male which is super important if this is your first kiss.


Like we discussed earlier, knowing when to kiss a girl is not about reading a post on the internet or watching a YouTube video for that matter.

It comes for experience. It comes for kissing many girls, messing up multiple times, but coming out knowing at your gut level when it’s best to make the bold move.

Take action and if you have any questions make sure to drop them in the comments!

Your friend, 

Colt Smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work