13 Signs [With 53 Examples] to Tell if a Girl Wants to Kiss You

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You’re just about to finish your first date, you think she’s ready to kiss you, but you just aren’t sure. Darn. 

Should you kiss her? What if she pushes you away? That would be super embarrassing…

I know how stressful this can be, but don’t worry because in the next few minutes you’ll learn all 13 “give-away” signs that your girlfriend is dying to kiss you.

example of a girl kissing her boyfriend
  • She’ll ask what you think of her hair, making you touch it before you give your opinion
  • You’ll be sitting down on the couch with her and she’ll put your hand in her hair
  • You’ll find her constantly placing her head in your arms almost forcing you to caress her hair

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See, girls always want you to make the bold move so they can feel your masculine energy. 

She’s giving you the signs so that you “man up” and kiss her. 

And do you know what happens when you miss these signs too many times or get too scared to kiss her? She dumps you! 

Make sure you don’t miss her subtle hints. [1, 2]

if a girl wants you to play with her hair, it's a sign she wants you to kiss her

2. She’s making lustful eye contact with you

Here’s a perfect example of lustful eye contact that screams “kiss me you stupid idiot!”

example of lustful eye contact that means she wants you to kiss her

However, sometimes it’s more subtle, like in this video

Other times, she’ll be looking at you when you don’t even notice, like so:

These signs are so concrete that it doesn’t matter whether this is your first date or she’s a super short girl, you have a moral obligation to kiss her!

OK, OK, I know that can be scary! I’ve been there too – especially when I kissed a girl for the first time!

So let me share with you my secret technique for testing the waters: simply tell her that “if you keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna have to kiss you”.

If she laughs or smiles, go for it. You have my guarantee that she won’t reject you. (If she does reject you, you have my permission to complain in the comments!)

And if you like the theory side of things it’s actually quite interesting as there are multiple studies that prove eye contact creates a very deep emotional connection and I guess in our case, eye contact proves that there is a deep loving connection i.e. she’s ready to kiss you. [3]

Reading for the advanced seducers only

Joshua Pellicer, in his dating course – The Tao of Badass: Everything You Have To Know To Be A Complete Badass With Women – talks about how you can tell if a girl want to kiss you by tracking her eye movement i.e. her eye accessing cues:

One of the biggest indicators that someone wants to kiss you is an eye accessing cue combination called triangulation.
Triangulation, as you might have guessed, is a combination of three eye movements. When you are in the final stages of rapport, you might notice the woman staring at your mouth while you’re talking. Looking down at your mouth will access her emotions, and then associate those emotions with looking at your mouth.
Oftentimes, she will then consciously look up in an attempt to avoid seeming desperate, and will then catch your eyes. Looking directly into one eye and then the other will make her feel overwhelmed with emotions, so she’ll revert her gaze back to your mouth and then repeat the pattern.
Switching back and forth in this manner results in her eyes forming a triangular pattern. When you see this happening with a girl you should go for a kiss immediately, unless some other, more important circumstance is stopping you (like it’s your friend’s girlfriend!).
Wondering what you should say and how you actually go in for the kiss? The best approach I’ve found is just to be direct. Call her out on it by saying “It’s okay.” When she asks “What’s okay?” say “You can kiss me, I want to kiss you too.”

Inside "The Tao of Badass" course by Joshua Pellicer

Not sure if you want to get his course now? Here’s an exclusive link to a presentation Joshua has personally created [free of charge] and you’ll learn a sh*t load about him and how he can transform your life.

By the way, here’s how he finishes of that piece:

That has been one of the most phenomenally successful phrases I have ever used. As soon as I received the first triangulation cue from a woman, I would say this phrase and about 80% of the girls would kiss me right then and there. When I started out, only about 20% responded with a kiss, so I kept testing and changing my methods until I got a positive response from 30%. Then I tweaked it some more, and it moved to 50%, and eventually I was able to optimize the phrase until it became what you see here.

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3. She’s OK with you leaning towards her

One of the steps to kissing a girl is obviously leaning towards her, so if she’s ok with you leaning in, she’s ready to smooch!

Do you know how to lean in for a kiss?

If you do, that’s pretty cool, but for those don’t, let’s go over the steps:

  1. 1
    Start by sitting closer to her (much easier to do than if you’re standing)
  2. 2
    Say something cute about kissing like “Heck! Let’s kiss right now” or “You have the most magnificent, red lips I’ve ever seen”
  3. 3
    Close your eyes (yes, both of them… no one eyed kissing!!)
  4. 4
    Move in slowly, no erratic movements 
  5. 5
    Turn your head to the right
  6. 6
    Keep your mouth slightly open
  7. 7
    Wait for her to learn in the last 10%

(Need some more details, just read 12 Simple Steps to Lean in for a KISS and you’ll be all set.)

In addition, if she’s leaning towards you, you definitely have the green light. [4, 5]

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OK, but what if you’re waiting for the ‘perfect moment’ to kiss?

Just read what Sebastian Harris (my first dating coach) explains in his dating masterpiece:

Have you ever wanted to kiss a girl and you ended up NOT doing it? Guilty, your honor. I’ve done it a dozen times. Do you know how I felt afterwards? I bet you do.
The regret is so painful that you want to cry in your pillow. You went on the date and you know that she would have kissed you. You know it. Two hours later you’re sitting in your room. You’re all alone and you ask yourself, “What happened?”
You were so sure. The image was clear. You wanted to do it after leaving the café. You imagined a cold breeze outside. It was perfect. You just had to put your arms around her.
I mean, she was freezing, and you wanted to be a gentleman. Then you walked her to the bus stop. You looked into each other’s eyes. Then you heard it: The song in the background made her smile. “Now is the right moment,” you think to yourself. You kissed her. The bus arrived. Some granny in her 90s sighted a soft “Ohhh… how sweet,” before she died of a sudden heart attack.
How romantic… Are you ready to get hit with the truth? Then let me swing the sledgehammer. I have news for you:
The perfect moment doesn’t exist. You missed the chance to kiss her because you were waiting for the perfect moment.
I don’t care if you learned this concept of the perfect time to kiss a girl from Hollywood, Buzzfeed, or Cosmopolitan.
It’s utter bullsh*t, and it’s holding you back. Every moment is the perfect moment. Maybe not right after you ate a kebab and burped like a dying donkey, but you want to use the windows of opportunity that the Game Gods provide you with.  

This quote is from The Rise of The Phoenix: How to Get Girls in a World That Wants You to Fail by Sebastian Harris, specifically from chapter 4 titled “Catch Her if You Can: Psychological Weapons of Mass Destruction”. 

If you haven’t heard of this book before, you are seriously missing out! 

Sebastian really knows how to connect with his students and he covers nearly every question you can think of.

And believe it or not, it’s a book I still read from time to time. Go check out my review for more details!

Bottom line:

As long as you have enough signs, you have no excuse not to go for the kiss. 

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4. She verbally teases you

Let me give you a little pop quiz: what does it mean to tease?

I’m sure you have a good definition, here’s mine:

Teasing is the act of poking fun at someone in a playful way. 

(It can also be a kind of a test to see your level of confidence, if you get offended, you fail. If you can laugh it off, you passed.)

The point is that a girl will never tease or flirt with a guy she doesn’t like or have any intention of kissing.

So what are some good examples of girls teasing you?

  • Your too young for me
  • How many times did you want to kiss me before you went for it?
  • You’ve got the skinniest arms
  • I only like guys with 7 inches plus…
  • When did you realize you loved me?
  • Why aren’t you funny?
  • Sorry I’m too busy for a guy like you
  • Do you think I’m hotter in red or black?
  • Do you like how I smell?

If you read 100 Sexual Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend you’ll get even more examples. 

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5. She’s licking her lips

It’s very simple:

If she’s thinking about kissing you, then she’ll be thinking about her lips which will make her (subconsciously) lick her own lips. 

This rule is just as true when she’s biting her lips, like so

And if you see her acting like this girl in the following YouTube video, then you’re way past the kissing point 😆

There are some exceptions to this rule:

  1. 1
    Her lips are dry
  2. 2
    She just ate some super spicy food 
  3. 3
    She has food all around her mouth and she’s “cleaning up”
  4. 4
    She’s been licking her lips constantly even before she got to know you
  5. 5
    You notice she does it constantly as a nervous tick

But generally speaking this is a great sign. [6]

Actually, in Sebastian’s dating system, he makes this exact point:

Okay, okay. You want examples:
Have you ever been on a date with a girl who licked her lips while looking at you? That’s a window of opportunity. She’s screaming, “Kiss me!” at you.
Sometimes it’s subtler: She comes closer and smiles at you, or she touches your arm and leans in.
Or, my all-time favorite: The “Sooo…” invitation. Whenever a girl fills a moment of silence with “Sooo…” she’s waiting for you to make a move. If she says it right after hugging you, you have to turn your head and kiss her.  
But you don’t do it, because you’re paralyzed. It’s not fear, it’s worse. You overthink the situation. You think about the perfect moment. You worry about whether or not she even wants to kiss you. 
Let me tell you something: If a woman shows up in high heels and a tight dress, she doesn’t want to play Scrabble. She wants to kiss you. Heck, she wants to do way more than that. You just don’t know if she wants it at this exact moment. Thank God there’s something you can do about it. It’s called trying. 
I know, that’s not the fancy, stealth, under-the-radar, three-step sequence that famous dating gurus try to sell you. But it works. Remember the ninth psychological seduction technique from the previous chapter: Decide and Act. Stop asking yourself if it’s too early. It’s never too early.

Like I said, The Rise of The Phoenix: How to Get Girls in a World That Wants You to Fail is a must read and at it’s ridiculously low price, you have no excuse for not reading it. 


Your dick will thank me later. I promise. 

6. She hanging around for too long

Here are some examples from my post titled When to KISS a Girl: The 9 Prime Times and in general it’s a good sign that she likes you:

  1. 1
    You’re on a date with this stunning girl and you know it’s time to go. The conversation is getting boring, but she doesn’t want to leave.
  2. 2
    You’re dropping her off and she won’t get out of the car, always coming up with something else to talk about
  3. 3
    You’re heading back home, but she won’t stop talking to you right outside your door

In general, if you notice that she’s acting needy and acting the opposite of playing hard to get, she’s very much into you, for example:

  1. 1
    Makes it super easy to set up dates (will push off school or work for you)
  2. 2
    She answer your texts right away
  3. 3
    Tells you overtly that she likes you
  4. 4
    Doesn’t make it hard for you to get her number

The more she wants to stay is the more she likes you, the more she likes you the more she wants to kiss you!

7. She’s always touching you

The first sign we talked about was the girl getting you to touch her hair. Now it’s the other way around: she’s touching you.

Here are some clear examples: 

  • She constantly reaches for things by leaning her body over you and touching you in the process
  • Instead of you trying to hold her hand, she is trying to hold your hand!
  • While sitting beside her, she always has her hand on your thigh and it always seems a little too far up…
  • She’ll lean against you
  • She tries to clean you up after a good lunch by running a napkin over your mouth
  • She tries to get you to shut up by placing her finger over your mouth
  • She always wants to sit on your lap
  • She always has a secret that she needs to whisper “in” your ear
  • She is crazy about your arm muscles and always wants to feel them

There are many, many more examples, but it comes down to your level of social awareness to see them and your level of confidence to kiss her.

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8. She tries to seduce you

In this step we are discussing when she is trying to physically seduce you, here are some examples:

  • She drops something by “accident” making her lean down in front of you and giving you a clear view of her cleavage
  • She wears revealing clothing around you
  • She touches her body in a seductive way knowing that it’ll spark your dirty imagination
  • She’ll ask for a massage while she’s in a bikini

I could go on and on, but the point is that she’s doing everything that she can to get your lips on hers and you better go for it.

9. She  won’t stop complimenting you

I bet you know how to seduce a girl, but do you know how girls try to seduce you?

Well it falls into 3 different categories:

  • Flattering you constantly
  • Raising your ego
  • Making your dependent on her validation

I’d be scared if I saw a girl pulling this technique on me, but I’d also know that she’s so attracted to me that she’s even trying to seduce me! 

For you it means that she’s doing everything she can to get you to kiss her so why not spare her the effort and kiss her now?

Here are some examples of a girl desperately trying to get a kiss by emotionally seducing you:

  • She’ll tell you how confident you are 
  • She’ll tell you how amazing she feels around you
  • She’ll tell you how attracted she feels to your big muscles
  • She’ll always smile when she sees you 
  • She makes herself look super small and weak around you as if she needs you for everything
  • She’ll complement you at things that you aren’t even good at

How do you actually go for the kiss when you see her seducing you? 

Wait for a moment of silence, look into her eye, put your hand against her cheek and kiss her. 10 times more romantic.

10. You are feeling sexual tension

I am not talking about you building the sexual tension. 

I am talking about when both of you are feeling a natural sexual tension.

Here’s are some signs of that:

  1. 1
    You are in a daydreaming like state
  2. 2
    The conversation turns a little awkward and you’re feeling romantic
  3. 3
    Your heart skips a beat
  4. 4
    You start to sweat a little
  5. 5
    You just “feel” really close”
  6. 6
    You can’t help but smile and flirt with each other
  7. 7
    You find yourselves asking deep questions to each other
  8. 8
    You feel like you want to talk with each over forever [7, 8]

Why not kiss her and release all that sexual tension?

11. She’s always trying to get you alone

When you try to kiss a girl (especially for the first time) you always try to get her in a private, secluded place as it reduces pressure for both of you.

But in our case, when a girl wants to kiss you, she’ll consciously try to get you in a private place where she can kiss you.

It might be:

  • Getting you in the car with her
  • Getting you in her room
  • Leading you to a quiet alley
  • Getting behind your house or a bush

If you notice that she’s trying to get you in a place where you’d feel the most confident to kiss her, do it!

12. You had a fun date

Talking about when to kiss, THIS is the time. 

You just had this fun first date at the local restaurant enjoying some great sushi and now you’re going for a walk in the park.

You can see that she’s:

  1. Laughing at your jokes
  2. Talking about what you’re gonna do on the second date
  3. Telling you about how much fun she had
  4. Flirting with you

In this case, she’s totally into you and if you have the confidence to kiss her, she’ll totally love it!

13. You’re cuddling with her

Cuddling doesn’t just mean lying with a girl in bed, cuddling just means caressing, touching or holding someone to show affection, for example:

  1. 1
    She leans her head on your arm or shoulder
  2. 2
    She’s sits on your lap
  3. 3
    You are giving her massage
  4. 4
    You are playing with her hair
  5. 5
    She’s caressing your hand

If you find yourself doing any of these it means she has a deep level of affection for you and is waiting for your kiss.


As you improve your kissing skills remember what we talked about at the very beginning: waiting for all the signs to kiss a girl at the right time is the wrong way to go.

Waiting for the best time to kiss is going to make you miss many beautiful kisses. There is no perfect moment, you need to make that perfect moment with a bold move.

Sure, kissing a girl well is hard, but if you work hard you’ll make it.

Your friend, 

Colt Smith

  • You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I have read a single thing like that before. So great to find someone with some original thoughts on this topic. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This website is something that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality!

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    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

    My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

    Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

    17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

    How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work