Beginners make this crucial mistake: They hide their dick and don’t make it clear from the very beginning what they want. This leads these nice guys right into the friend zone while leaving the hot girls to be scooped up by the bad boys.
And while the fear of rejection is the obvious motivation behind this nice guy behaviour, you need to get over it and in this article, you’ll learn just that.
Let us begin!
1. Tell a girl that you like her in your initial opener
You see a cute girl at the school library and you want to get to know her, maybe make her your girlfriend.
How do you approach the girl? 2 options:
- Approach her indirectly by asking about the book she’s reading, maybe asking for a book recommendation for a project you’re working on and from there strike up a conversation with her about whatever
- Approach her directly and say “I know this is totally random, but I saw you from across the library and I had to come tell you that you look nice, what I noticed about you was…”
While being indirect with your intention can be less risky rejection-wise, it doesn’t convey to the girl what you want from her, i.e. do you want to be her friend or lover?
So even when you do strike up a conversation with your indirect opener, you gotta come back around explaining to her why you approached in the first place. It’s all super creepy and lacks masculinity.
And for this exact reason, whenever a beginner asks “how long should you wait to tell a girl you like her?” we answer, straight away! Never hide your dick, tell her that you’re interested in her from the moment you meet her with a simple compliment: you look nice.
- Don’t overdue the compliment, otherwise you’ll risk seeming needy (read: 11 Loving Ways to Tell a Girl She's Beautiful, Pretty and Looks Good [With 33+ Examples]).
- Don’t use a ridiculous pickup line, otherwise you’ll seem like a copy-paste player.
- Forget all these indirect games. You just need to convey your honest intent and use that as a base to build an authentic conversation with her.
Try it, you’ll quickly notice that most girls love it. And even if they ultimately reject your offer for whatever reason, you can be damn sure that they have lots of respect for the courage you had to be honest and direct.
2. Show a girl you like her without telling her
So in the previous point, I kinda lied. There ARE times you want to go indirect because the environment calls for it, for example:
- Coffee shop
- On the bus
- Gym - read: 29 Concrete Steps to Approaching & Talking to Girls at the Gym [With Examples]
- At work - read: 12 Subtle Ways to Flirt With a Girl at Work & Date a Coworker
In all of these circumstances, it would be socially uncalibrated to be direct with your intent. Nevertheless, there are ways to get around this...how? Use The Indirect-Direct Method.
- You are indirect with your words: “that’s a cool book you’re reading, I’ve read it twice last year, blah, blah, blah,...”
- You are direct with your body language: tiger eyes (looking at her like you want to see her naked while imagining the things you want to do with her), deep masculine voice, full body facing her, sexy smile/ smirk which conveys I know that you know that I know, etc.
From there continue the conversation as usual and only once you’re ready for the number close will you want to directly show your romantic interest (as we shall soon discuss).
If you need to indirectly hint to a girl you like her without telling her, the Indirect-Direct Method is the way to go as it relies solely on your voice, body language and vibe.
3. Disqualify yourself as a friend
Let’s rewind for a minute: when you ask how to tell a girl you like her, you mean romantically, not platonically. You do not want to be her friend. You want to get her into your bed.
That being said, one way of conveying sexual interest is by actively disqualifying yourself as a possible friend (we could never hang out as friends).
4. Touch her to show that you like her
In order to show that you want her, you gotta start using the power of touch from the moment you approach her (obviously very lightly) and then progressively touch her more as the temperature rises.
Here are some examples of what you could do when you approach a girl on the street and when you take her out:
- The long handshake when asking her name
- Leading her by the hand or small of her back through the bar or another date venue
- Small incidental touches
- When comparing hand size
- When teasing her from having such thin arms
- Using her hand to draw a map of the city
- Pretending that you can read palms of hands and reading hers
- Checking out her jewelry (classic move)
- But your arms together to compare tans
- Checking out her tattoos
- Push/pull her when she says something naughty
There are lots more examples I could list (and I’ll be uploading a guide for touching a girl soon on DatingArmory.com), but the lesson is the same: don’t hide your dick. It’s the number one reason why girls don’t like you as much as they should.
5. Tell a girl you like her as you’re asking her out
Before you take her number and offer to take her out for a drink, show your intentions again - don’t let her put you in the friendzone!
And luckily it’s not complicated, any Statement of Intent (SOI) will do:
Well, nice meeting you, I must say you have some very cute eyes, why don’t you give me your number and we’ll get a drink sometime?
Very much related guide: 8 Solid Methods To Tell A Girl She's Cute With Examples
6. How to tell a girl you like her if she has a boyfriend
Now that we have the basic rules for the average approach, let’s talk about what happens when she says she has a boyfriend.
First, here’s a crash course of female desire:
- 1Every girl, no matter how single, has a ‘boyfriend’. There’s always some male friend ‘orbiting’ her ready and willing to be her boyfriend no matter what she demands.
- 2Women have a Dual Mating Strategy: A) To have hot sex with that alpha unstable ‘testosteronized’ man and B) To settle down with a guy who will be stable enough to take care of her offspring. (Read The Rational Male for more info on this.)
- 3Women are hypergamous which means they’re always looking for their next best option, no matter what her current commitments are.
Once you piece this all together, you soon realize the bitter truth: women are not sugar, spice and everything nice. That’s a lie Disney sold you. All girls have the same desires.
But besides for becoming bitter, there’s a lot you can do with this new-found information: telling a girl you like her even when she brings up that she has a boyfriend. Here’s what I mean:
- “I don’t want to be your boyfriend” (remember what we said about a girl’s Dual Mating Strategy? You aren’t trying to be her long term stable boyfriend, you’re aiming to be her alpha fuckboi)
- “Is the relationship super committed?” (if she’s crazy in love, there’s nothing you can do, but if not, her hypergamous nature may choose you)
- Ignore what she said and about her boyfriend and continue with a Statement of Intent “I like your long hair and that dress is perfect for this sunny day, but what’s up neon yellow backpack?” (good to end with a tease and again, you're showing her that you understand her Dual Mating Strategy which will open her up to you)
But whatever you do, never back down and pretend like you’ll be her friend until her boyfriend disappears.
7. Overtly check her out and tell her that you like how she looks
As mentioned, until you’re balls deep in her, you gotta keep the pressure on so that you successfully avoid the friend zone. So this next section is about showing a girl you like her while you’re on a date, starting with: Overtly check her out and tell her she looks good.
Here’s how it works:
- As you’re walking to your second or third (not first!) date venue fall back and when she asks you why you’re walking so slowly, tell her it’s because you’re checking out her ass
- If she’s wearing a sweater/ coat or any other second layer, use it to cover up her cleavage. When she asks you what you’re doing, tell her that her boobs were distracting you from having a ‘friendly’ conversation
- While you’re talking (and the conversation is getting slightly boring), pause and back away very obviously looking her over.
Note: as with all teasing, you gotta go at it with playful confidence, otherwise you’ll come off as uncalibrated and possibly creepy - long, but important read: The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny].
8. Future Projection
The technique of Future Projection goes very deep and becomes especially important for ‘long game’, but for our purposes we're gonna keep things simple: as you’re on the date, you spark her imagination by describing the romantic adventures that you’re having with her as if you’ve been together for years.
Here’s a simple list of things you could ‘Future Project’ about:
- Beach trip
- Hiking in the forest
- Horseback ride together
- Having a BBQ together
- Getting happily drunk together
If done right, you have the potential to increase her comfort level tenfold while still conveying your desire for her. 11/10.
9. Make her admit it first
Assuming you’ve followed the past moves, asking a girl what she likes about you is not weird at all (it's also one of those moves that flips the script and gets her chasing you).
By doing this move, you’re killing 3 birds with one stone:
- Solidifying that she likes you
- Showing her that you like her
- Doing both of the previous without seeming needy
This move is simple: strap on your balls and ask her. Fini.
10. Tell her why you like her
There’s a huge difference between telling a girl that you like her for her looks versus telling her what characteristics you find attractive in her:
- Telling a girl that you like her presumably for her looks spikes up the conversation, increases the sexual energy and creates attraction
- Telling her what you find attractive in her lowers the energy of the conversation and builds comfort/ rapport
Both attraction and comfort are important in order to reach seduction, but as you can tell by the title of this section, we’ll be covering the #2.
Here’s some ideas to get you to start thinking of what exactly turns you on about her:
- Her cute/intense/sexual/dreamy eyes: How to Compliment a Girl's Eyes In 11 Fail-Proof Ways With 32 Examples [NEW]
- Her character/ grace/ femininity: 215 Compliments for a Girl (Dress, Picture, Eyes, Lips, Hair)
- Her passions (painting, dancing, etc.)
- Her style: Best 53 Compliments for a Girl's Picture and Her Photo
- Her sexuality (fat ass, long sexy legs, thin waist, etc.)
It goes without saying that you don’t jump to sexual compliments before you’ve safely escalated to that point. But once you reach that point, by all means, use it to tell her why you love her.
11. Tell her that you are trying so hard not to kiss her
The title says it all, you’re telling her how she’s making you feel. (Later, on your last date venue, you can further escalate by placing her hand over your dick on your pants and telling her how hard she’s making you.)
12. Kiss her
The kiss close is the final obstacle to overcome so that falling into the friend zone is no longer possible and your desire for her is as clear as it gets.
While I’m not here to teach you how to kiss and the best times to go for it, it’s entirely normal for her to brush off your first attempts. Don’t get flustered. Back off, build more attraction and comfort, then try again. She’ll have lots of respect for you being a courageous man and the chances of getting with her will rise.
14. Look out for signs that she already likes you
Welcome to the third section of the article. Here you’ll learn how to tell a girl who you've known for a while, maybe you know her from school, she’s a friend of a friend or a co-worker, either way, you want to tell her that you like her and here’s how:
First, look for the signs that this girl likes you so that you know where she's at and can plan accordingly:
- Most importantly: She doesn't show any signs that she doesn't like you
- She slows down as you walk past you
- She flicks her hair
- She blushes
- She shares emotional, personal stories
- She emotionally reacts to what you’ve said
- She ‘shit tests’ you
- She uses the Classical Flirting Technique - read: 43 Exclusive Methods To Flirt With a Guy In Any Situation [& Countless Examples]
- She’s flirting with her legs and feet
- She gets you to play with her hair
- Playing with her lips
- She sends you flirty texts - read: How To Tell If a Girl Likes You Over Text And Wants IT
To understand these signs and get about 100 more clues, read: Falling in Love: 124 Signs to Tell if a Girl Likes You. It’s a long article, but well worth reading.
14. Don’t drop a love bomb
As you’ll see in the following video, dropping a ‘love bomb’ can work in a cold approach (street, coffee shop) to spark initial attraction (although not recommended), however in a warm approach (school, work), this is to be avoided.
15. Tease her
So if you can’t drop a love bomb, how do you get started? You tease her. Try some of these tips from my post about flirting with girls at work:
- When she asks for a cup/ pen, start to hand it to her, but pull away at the last second
- Tell her “I had a dream about you working last night. Fuck. You really gotta invade my dreams too?”
- Put a fart bag on her chair and laugh uncontrollably when she sits on it or discovers it
- Tell her that the way she looks is distracting you from work, but initially make her feel like it’s a compliment. When she says thank you, tell her “Oh no, that’s not what I meant, I don’t know what happened to your hair today. Could you please hide behind that desk”
Using the previous examples to tease your girl with a cocky smirk is the best way to tell a girl you like her in an amusing way. Admittedly, easier said than done which is why I recommend you read the following mega-guide to teasing: The Guide: 74 Methods To Tease A Girl [& Learn Cock-Funny].
16. Play fight with her
Play fighting is the perfect way how to tell a girl you like her in middle/ high school
- Very much like teasing, but more physical so you don’t have to find the right words to say
- You find anything stupid to fight about and she’ll understand it’s a game
- Because you’re ‘fighting’, you have the perfect excuse to touch and do everything to feel comfortable with each other
You can read the following guide for more details: 55 Tried-and-True Steps to Get a Girlfriend at Middle, High School and College.
17. Give her a cute nickname
After you’ve determined her initial level of interest in you and have teased her, you’ve warmed her up to a point where you can give her a cute nickname. I’ve got a Full List Of Cute Nicknames Here, but for now the following should be enough:
- Love nugget (try using other names like this that imply that her body is of an unfortunate shape)
- Noodle head
- Cuddly Wuddly
- Sweet cheeks (have a sexaul nickname for her that is only used in private and stays a secret between you)
- Naughty girl
While you can pick any nickname that kinda reminds you of something cute about her to show your love, I recommend you give her a nickname midconverastion when she says something naughty to tease her again. Do whatever you like.
18. Ask her out on a date
By now she should know that you want her, but let’s leave her no room for any doubt. So here’s what you do: ask her out on a date. Not sure how? Read: How To Ask A Girl Out And Get A Date Now.
If you’re too scared to ask her out just yet, skip this for now and continue with the following steps until you’re ready to come back and ask her out. It may also help to go through my list of signs that a girl wants to be asked out, but that’s up to you.
19. Compliment her
If you recall, at the very beginning of this article we discussed telling a girl that she looked good or cute as your initial opener. Yes, that does qualify as a compliment, but in this step we’re taking your compliment further.
Here you want to think of a compliment that’ll make her blush, smile and know that you want her. Here are some ideas from 215 Compliments for a Girl (Dress, Picture, Eyes, Lips, Hair):
- That’s the prettiest dress I’ve ever seen, it makes you look so beautiful! Where did you pick it up?
- The size, fit, the color… everything just comes together so perfectly
- Well, well, well… I didn’t know you were such a trendy girl
- It’s not called flattery if your beauty is natural
- Girl, you are so beautiful. Your hair, your nose, your lips – they’re all so perfect. It’s so enchanting just staring into your deep, dark eyes – I could do it all day.
- Has anyone ever told you that your curious personality makes you super cute?
- Your voice is so damn cute that it’s messing with my mind
- Gorgeous hair, stunning nails, seductive lips, I have lost all my free will
To learn the rules behind what makes a good compliment, read: 8 Steps To Compliment a Girl
20. Play the questions game
Simple: tell her that you’re gonna take turns asking each other questions. You can either answer truthfully or skip. Great way to get to know each other and if you progressively ask more sexual questions, she’ll be more attracted to you.
Check out the following articles for ideas:
- 150 Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl That'll Make Her Laugh
- 100 Questions to Ask a Girl You Just Met So That You Get to Know Her
- 150 Dirty [And Sexy] Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Playing the questions game is also a great move for the first date to get to know each other so don’t worry about the timing.
21. Give her Small, Surprising, Personalized Gifts (S.S.P.G.)
The concept of SSPG’s is nothing new (it just sounds cool), but I added it to my guide to keeping your girlfriend happy because it’s that effective. And although giving a SSPG seems simple, there are a couple guidelines to keep in mind:
- Do not overdue your gift. Really. It’ll make you look like a massive, needy loser to her. You gotta play it right.
- The more surprising it is, the better
- Keep it personalized. That doesn’t mean you gotta get her a custom Gucci bag. It just means that if she likes Cheetos Flamin' Hot Limon Chips, spend the extra 30 cents and get her that.
For gift ideas and other techniques to put a smile on her face, read 39 Underused Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Happy That Actually Work.
22. Show her that you’re grateful for her
Here’s another risky move that can make you look needy, but if done right can show your desire for her: simply show her that you’re happy she’s around and that you’re grateful to her.
23. Call Out The Elephant In The Room
Calling Out The Elephant In The Room means to call out the awkwardness of the interaction in order to defuse it. It’s very important to practice as it shows a high level of social intelligence and women respect that.
Where it is useful here is if you’re about to outright tell a girl that you like her, you Call Out The Elephant In The Room by acknowledging that it’s kinda awkward. And ironically, by calling it out, it’s no longer creepy or awkward to tell her what you feel.
"Hey ___, I know this is kinda weird, but I had to come tell you that..."
24. Tell her in private and in person
There are several benefits of waiting till you’re alone with your girl before admitting that you have a crush on her for the first time:
- It’s possible you’ll escalate from there to a kiss and you wouldn’t want to ruin that moment by being in public with all your friends around
- You’ll feel less pressure from everyone watching you
- You’re telling her in person which is better because she knows it takes more confidence that if you were to tell her over text
- She’ll feel pressure to brush you off if she feels like all her friends are watching
Long story short: tell her in private and in person.
Good luck, and if you have ideas of your own, be share them with us in the comments,