Why Don’t Girls Like Me: 9 Common Reasons

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We’ve all been there. We all know how it feels to be disliked by girls. It’s emasculating, depressing and hurtful.

But when you continuously see signs that girls don’t like you, you begin to lose hope. You start asking yourself “why don’t girls like me.” You start to believe there is something intrinsically wrong with you.

You begin to fall into a vicious cycle. Your confidence becomes weaker and weaker, you don’t understand the root problem and don’t know where to start.

On the other hand, sometimes girls only “like” you as a friend, i.e. the friend zone, but never want to be your girlfriend or even have a one night stand with you!

In this post we will explore the reasons why girls may not like you and possible actions you can take to transform your dating life.

1. You don’t know how to approach women

If you don’t know how to approach women and create that initial attraction, how can you expect any girl to like you?

Do you know how to:

  1. Give a good compliment
  2. Initiate a conversation
  3. Increase intimacy
  4. Get a girls number

If you don’t have basic social skills, why would any girl like you? You have nothing to offer.

It’s not about who you are, it’s about what you have to offer. Don’t ask “do girls like me,” ask “do girls like what I have to offer.”

But let’s get a little deeper: the reason why you have little-to-no social skills is because you aren’t approaching enough women. The solution is obvious:

Get yourself a dating coach and approach women everyday, I don’t care how many times you get rejected because ultimately it’s a numbers game: if you approach 100 girls, one girl will say yes.

And it doesn’t matter how pretty or ugly they are because your goal is not to get laid with a smoking hot girl, your goal is to sharpen your social and interpersonal skills.

(Another mistake you could be making is approaching the wrong girls. You might be a super extrovert, but approaching shy girls and wondering why you’re always seeing signs that shy girls don’t like you!)

Bottom line: knowing where to meet the right women is good, but knowing how to approach women is a must. [1, 2]

2. Your life is a mess

9/10 times the guys who complain about never getting girls have one or more of these problems:

  1. Watch YouTube all day long
  2. Are broke
  3. Can’t find work
  4. Don’t have a schedule

That’s not OK and you need to change your mindset to be asking questions like “what can I do now to get girls to like me.”

Being a victim won’t help anybody, including you.

If you’re broke and living in your mom’s basement without a job, it’s time you take action. Do anything!

If you don’t know where to start, watch this training video (free of charge) by a guy who started with nothing, but within a couple years, built an empire for himself.

Let’s be clear: until you take action to transform your dating life, we both know exactly why girls don’t feel any desire to be with you, as a friend or in bed!

this girl is an example of what type of guy she doesn't like

3. You don’t know how to talk to girls

Let’s assume you can approach girls, you have a stable job, but for some reason, girls still don’t like you! Why? You don’t know how to talk to girls, but it’s more than that:

  1. You don’t know how to flirt with girls
  2. You don’t know what girls like to talk about
  3. You don’t know what girls like to hear
  4. You don’t know what to talk about on a date
  5. You don’t know how to get a girl to talk to you
  6. You don’t know how to talk to girls in different social settings (gym, bar, work, etc.)

I’m not saying you need to become some extrovert, there are many famous seductive introverts. What I am saying is that being a good conversationalist is crucial.

And just like all the skills I discuss on my website, Datingarmory.com, your age doesn’t matter at all. You can always improve and even master any skill you put your mind to.

Most guys give up way too early, I recently found a post by a 17 year old guy that was ready to give up because he couldn’t get girls! Totally ridiculous.

However you decide to take action, don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. stay determined! [3, 4]

4. You’re acting like a girl

The core of all your problems is this: you’re (trying) to act like a girl and don’t accept your own masculinity.

But why are you doing that? Because you think that girls desire guys that act like girls too! You don’t understand what girls like about guys: raw, unfiltered, masculinity.

It would take me hours to explain how masculinity makes girls like you, which is why I present you with this video from the inner game coach, Hypnotica A.K.A. Eric Von Syndow:

Hypnotica is the dating coach for men. I’ve learned many powerful principles from his course The Collection of Confidence, get it or read my review here.

Either way, being feminine around girls only creeps them out, you need to start acting like an alpha male and stop apologizing for who you are.

5. You’re out of shape

Being fat or skinny makes it much harder for you to get girls and feel confident. Women want to feel overpowered by your strength, they want to date a man, not a boy.

Playing video games all day while eating junk food is not good for you and it’s ruining your chances with women. If you’re overweight, start working out!

Is being ripped the only thing you need to get girls? No, but it makes you more attractive and the more attractive you become, the more girls like you.

Look through my list of the 17 things girls want and seeing what you’ve got and what you can work to get. The more the better.

6. You have no ambition

Having something that you’re passionate about is very attractive to women because it shows you want to create something which is a masculine trait.

But because you have no goals or aspirations, girls don’t feel that masculine energy and chances are you feel depressed because you have nothing going on in your life!

But you aren’t here to complain about your problems, you’re here to find solutions. So look through the following list and if you find something that excites you, start working on it:

  1. Philosophy
  2. Camping
  3. Sports
  4. Business (talked about this in reason #2: Your life is a mess)
  5. RC planes
  6. Mountain biking
  7. Cooking
  8. Math
  9. Photography
  10. Boxing
  11. Woodworking
  12. Working out
  13. Planting a garden

As long as you wake up every morning with passion, it doesn’t matter what you do because there is always a girl out that’ll appreciate that.

7. You have no style

Do you have your own style? Probably not, most guys don’t either and because you’re like 80% of men, no girl ever notices you.

Having a nice style doesn’t just make you look good, but it also displays confidence. Having your own style doesn’t need to be expensive, so where do you start?

  1. Get a decent haircut. This time pay a little more and start looking sharp
  2. Grow a beard, girls love beards and it’s free!
  3. Brush your teeth and keep them white
  4. Keep your facial skin looking fresh
  5. Always wear fresh clothing
  6. Put on cologne
  7. Buy clothing that matches your style. (This doesn’t need to be expensive at all, just wear what looks good on you.)

This is not about impressing any girl. It’s about having some self-respect. You deserve better and when it’s this easy, you have no excuse not to do it.

8. You don’t know how to act confidently

Let me guess, when you talk to girls you:

  1. Talk super fast
  2. Talk in a high pitched voice
  3. Smile like crazy
  4. Act super needy
  5. Lose your mind when you finally get a number
  6. Constantly play with your hands

In other words, you have no clue how to act confidently. You show every girl how scared you are which makes every girl want to run away from you.

When a girl finally shows some attraction, you obsess over her and want to get married. Everything is rushed.

This type of behavior is destroying you and it needs to stop. Start having some self-respect and become self-sufficient.

[bctt tweet=”You don’t need any girl.” username=”datingarmory”]

I can’t teach you how to gain core confidence in one post, this is exactly why I told you about Hypnotica’s course earlier. It’s a must for men these days.

Get it and thank me later.

9. You don’t feel deserving of girls

Not feeling deserving of pretty girls is another negative belief that is sabotaging your success with women. Girls only feel attracted to the guys that are confident and act like they deserve the hottest girls.

Not feeling deserving of pretty girls usually comes from childhood trauma. How did your parents treat you? Did you feel appreciated? Probably not…

The good news is that you don’t need to live your whole life with these destructive beliefs. You can change them by taking small actions every day, for example:

  1. Using affirmations
  2. Studying the best dating courses
  3. Visualizing success in your mind
  4. Talking to more women
  5. Reading inspirational books

Are you going to transform within a month? No. But after years of continuously taking action you’ll suddenly look back and realize you’re living your dreams!


My last piece of advice is to keep talking to girls because eventually you’ll have a great realization and see what you’re doing wrong.

Reading blog posts like this can definitely help show you the way, but it’s up to you to stay determined and keep working on your dream even when you get rejected.

Your friend,

Colt Smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work