14 Examples & Steps to Hug a Girl [With Pictures]

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I love hugging my girlfriend.

I love the smell of her intoxicating perfume, her silky soft skin, her shiny hair and of course, her big boobs (size 44 bra size btw).

I bet you love hugging your girlfriend too!

But I’m sure both of us could improve our “hugging game”, so here are my top tips to hug a girl - no matter how hot!

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  1. 1
    Whenever your culture calls for it. In some cultures you greet people with a kiss on the cheek and a warm hug! In other cultures, you’d get the police called on you if you did that. When in Rome, hug like Romans! [1, 2]
  2. 2
    Not before she knows and trust you to at least some degree (don’t miss: What Not to Do on a First Date: 17 Date Destroyers)
  3. 3
    You’ve already passed the touch barrier on the first date
  4. 4
    She’s showing some signs of attraction (laughing at your jokes, blushing, playing with her lips, etc.)
  5. 5
    She’s doesn’t want to leave even as your dropping her off at her house (very similar to: When to KISS a Girl: The 9 Prime Times)
  6. 6
    Your in a more private place (your girl may be embarrassed to hug you if her friends are watching)
  7. 7
    Your date is finishing up and you can feel sexual tension

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Lastly, here's a quote from Chapter 2: "Setting her on fire - Cracking the code of the female mind"from Sebastian Harris's dating guide (link to his Full book):

Have you ever been on a date with a girl who licked her lips while looking at you? That’s a window of opportunity. She’s screaming, “Kiss me!” at you. Sometimes it’s subtler: She comes closer and smiles at you, or she touches your arm and leans in. Or, my all-time favorite: The “Sooo…” invitation. Whenever a girl fills a moment of silence with “Sooo…” she’s waiting for you to make a move. If she says it right after hugging you, you have to turn your head and kiss her. But you don’t do it, because you’re paralyzed. It’s not fear, it’s worse. You overthink the situation. You think about the perfect moment. You worry about whether or not she even wants to kiss you. Let me tell you something: If a woman shows up in high heels and a tight dress, she doesn’t want to play Scrabble. She wants to kiss you.

I'm sure you noticed he's discussing kissing, however the rules for hugging are basically the same: go for it if you see that she wants you!

(By the way, his book will totally help you, I have friends that still read it to this day.)

But what are your best times to hug your girl? Leave them in the comments!

“But I want to hug whenever I want - God damn it!”

OK, OK, I get it!

But as a beginner in your “hugging career” you’ll benefit from these set times as you will  avoid unnecessary objections and you’ll hesitate much less (appearing 10 times more confident).

Then, obviously, once you become a pro, you’ll hug whenever you feel the time is right.

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2. How to hug a girl properly

Oh’ so you want all my hugging secrets?! How dare you! 

Well I’m a nice guy™ so here are my tips exclusive to DatingArmory.com:

3. Hug her with the right energy

I was a complete disaster when I (- Colt Smith) first started approaching girls, trying to get dates and hugging.

Seriously, no girl wanted to hug me. Why?

It wasn’t my looks. 

It wasn’t my career.

It wasn’t my style.

It was my clingy, needy energy which made no girl want to hug me.

When you hug a girl, (I beg you!) have the right energy:

  • Do it to make her feel special
  • Do it because you enjoy hugging her
  • Do it because you want to share your love
  • Do it because you want more of her

When girls feel this type of energy, you’ll be irresistible… I mean I would hug you too!

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4. Leaning into the hug

Neeexxxt Step!

You got to lean in.

Lucky you because I’ve already covered this exact topic thoroughly in my post titled: 12 Simple Steps to Lean in for a KISS.

But here’s the essence of the article:

Initiate the hug by leaning in the majority of the way (up to 90%) and then wait for her to meet you.

5. Open your arms wide and hug

First off, lean to the right so that you don’t bump heads!

Now that we got that out of the way, here’s what you need to focus on:

  1. 1
    Open your arms wide (remember you’re coming with “open” energy)
  2. 2
    Place your arms around her so that she feels enveloped in your “largeness” (girls want to get that protected feeling)
  3. 3
    Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow (yes, repeat that 3 times!). Rushing a hug makes you look like a newbie.

OK, but what exactly do you do with your hands? Chill! I got your covered… 

6. What to do with your hands while hugging

It largely depends on the type of hug, so…

  1. 1
    Usually you want your hands on her back.
  2. 2
    If you want to be romantic, rub the back of her back. [3]
  3. 3
    If you really want to make your girlfriend feel special, have your own little custom hug between yourselves to show how much you appreciate being together.

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7. How long should you hug for

You’re doing all the right things, but for how long!?

Assuming that it’s your girlfriend and she’s not in a rush, hug for at least a couple seconds. 

But be careful not to hold on for too long because no one likes being forced-hugged.

If this is your first hug with this girl or your just friends, a second or 2 is definitely enough.

8. What to say while hugging a girl

This step is optional as sometimes it’s simply better to say nothing. But if you feel the time is right, here are some of my ideas:

  • Smell her (in a non-creepy way) and tell her how she smells amazing. Tell her that you love when she puts on the right perfume.
  • "Thank you" (don’t pour your heart out, but a simple thank you will do)
  • “Hey don’t get too excited!”
  • “Take it slow, don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time to get back to my place”
  • “You’ve got the cutest smile”
  • “Sorry, I couldn’t hold myself back”
  • “I need more of you”
  • “You are the prettiest girl”

Again, if you have any other things to add, share them in comments and I’ll include them when I update the article!

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9. What to do after hugging a girl

There are many things you could do after hugging a girl, including:

  1. 1
    Kissing her as seen in the picture coming up...
  2. 2
    Giving her a big smile and wishing her a good day
  3. 3
    Complimenting her and continuing the conversation
  4. 4
    Asking her out for a date
kissing is great for after hugging

Whatever you choose to do, don’t act as if the hugging was awkward. 

Being weird about hugging your girl is the best way to ruin your chances of getting another hug. A great article about this exact topic: What Not to Do on a First Date: 17 Date Destroyers.

10. How to hug a girl from behind

How about we cover different sex hugging positions?

Starting with hugging a girl from behind:

  1. 1
    Make sure she’s not busy with something genuinely busy
  2. 2
    Don’t do this when she’s wearing a backpack
  3. 3
    A from behind hug requires more trust so make sure you’ve been on a couple dates
  4. 4
    Make sure she’s not around anyone who she’d be embarrassed to hug you
  5. 5
    Stand behind and wrap your arms around her like the following picture:
Best example of hugging a girl from behind

Here's a small variation of that:

hugging a girl from behind

Here's what it would look like if your girlfriend would hug you from behind:

Picture of a girl hugging a guy from behind

You can also lean your head to the side and kiss her on the cheek like this:

hugging a girl from behind while kissing her

11. How to hug a girl you like as a friend

You’re asking me how to hug a girl as a friend. Uh oh! 

If you’re in the friend zone - call 911 immediately.

Ok, don’t do that...

Listen I’ve got lots of ways to escape the friend zone so read that first, but for now, here’s your answer:
  • Avoid any lower body contant
  • Do not caress at all. Pat her one or twice at most.
  • Do not hug longer than a second or two

This picture is a great example:

hugging as a friend

12. How to hug a girl shorter than you

You may want to read How to KISS a Short Girl: 19 Proven Methods as in that article I share many of these same techniques, but go much deeper. 

However, this piece is fine if you’re looking for the 30,000 birds eyes view:

Technique one: have her hug your waist and leaning her head on your chest while you hug her from above and lean your head on top of hers as seen in this picture:

hugging a short girl

Technique two: have her sit down on your lap facing you

hugging a girl while sitting down

Technique three: hug her while she’s sitting besides you. Can't find a good picture for this one 🙁

Technique four: let her jump into your arms 

If that sounds too daring, you may want to try technique five…

Technique five: have her stand on something (bench, stairs, curb, etc)

This technique works especially well if she’s just a few inches too short for you.

Here are some tips from that works perfectly here too:

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13. How to hug a girl taller than you

Just covered shorter girls, what about tall girls?

kissing a taller girl
  1. 1
    Stand on your tippy toes and let her lean downwards (simplest solution)
  2. 2
    Hug while sitting down
  3. 3
    Stand on something to make yourself taller
  4. 4
    Hug while cuddling in bed
  5. 5
    Do not make it awkward

Yes, #5 is my most important tip. Really. 

If you feel attracted to each other, don’t let your height difference get in the way because remember, your goal is to have a great time with her. 

Being awkward ruins that, just chill out.

14. How to hug a girl romantically to turn her on

The key to hugging a girl romantically is to make her feel overpowered, yet small and protected. Make her feel enveloped by your strength and size.

This is the type of hugging that’ll really turn her on and definitely get you out of the friend zone fast!

Give her an overpowering hug

This idea some is based right on our key concept:

Girls want to feel small, overpowered and protected which is why girls love getting overpowering hugs from huge, muscular guys. 

Your job is to start working out, build muscle (link to my favorite basketball workout program) and to start giving big warm hugs.

But what exactly do you have to do?

Place one of your hands on her lower back while placing your other hand between her shoulder blades then lean your head on your hair and take it all in as seen in this picture:

Girls love overpowering hugs like this

Another way is to bring her in by her waist and let her wrap her arms around your neck.

Bottom line:

There’s a difference between a HUG and a hug.

Run your hands through her hair

As I point out in my “God Tier” post (I am very humble) about making girls horny, girls get turned on when guys pull lightly on their hair near the roots, so why not do this while hugging?

Place one hand on her back and the other hand on her head, gradually hugging her tighter and run your fingers through her hair. 

Want bonus points?

Use your other hand to grab her butt and pull her in! She’ll be soaking wet after that!

Make complete physical contact

Don’t hug like you’re in the friend zone! Hug like you can’t get enough of her by making complete physical contact:

  • Kiss her neck and/or cheek (has an especially strong effect on girls)
  • Get your legs close together
  • Pull on her hair
  • Hug her tightly

Give her all of you.

hugging a girl fully by holding her fully

Let her jump onto you

Last tip I have for you is to let her jump into your arms.

But let’s be real: you can’t expect your girlfriend to jump into your open arms if you’ve been seeing each other every day for the past 10 years. 

You need to wait until you haven't seen each other for a while and she’s feeling excited to see you.

Once you can tell that your girl misses you, surprise her with your arms opened up to catch her and let her jump into your arms. 

Once she’s running towards you, you can either grab her from behind her knees, like this:

grab a girl from behind her knees to hug her

Or catch her by squeezing her waist like this:

Or you can hold her up by her butt:

hold her up by her butt to hug her

Either way is fine and this type of romantic hug will get any girl turned on.


One thing that guys forget is that girls like hugging too! 

Heck giving good hugs even makes everyone healthier, including yourself! [4, 5]

So don’t give up on this no matter how awkward it seems at the beginning. Taking real world action always works and you will eventually improve!

Your friend,

Colt Smith

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    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

    My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

    Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

    17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

    How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work