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In this post I will be talking about how to lean in for a kiss, which means this post is not about getting a girl to kiss you. I’m assuming that you already have a girl that open to kissing you!

In this post you will learn all the tricks, hacks and steps you need to take to lean in for a kiss with the girl that already wants to kiss you!

If you don’t have a girl that wants to kiss you go read my post titled: How To Get a GIRL To KISS You – ON DEMAND. Once you finish reading that article, get back here and to become the ultimate kisser!

Also keep in mind that guys are the ones usually asking this question so I’m writing this from a guy’s perspective, although this post is still super useful to any girl reading this.

1. Test if she wants to kiss you

Before you lean in for the kiss, you want to make sure she wants to kiss you and that’s why I wrote an entire article titled 14 Signs to Tell if a GIRL Wants to Kiss You With Examples.

But because this is not the focus of the post I’ll give you 2 tests you can perform to see if she really wants to kiss you:

Stroking her back

While you’re on the date with the girl find a place where you can sit beside her such as a bench. Then while you’re sitting, get yourself closer to her and rub or massage her back.

Now pay attention to her reaction: is she backing away? Does she look uncomfortable? If yes, back away and try again later.

If she likes it, you’ve got a green light to move in for the kiss. 

leaning in for a kiss

Hold her hand

In my article titled How to Hold a Girl’s Hand in 9 Simple Ways I make it abundantly clear that holding a girl’s hand is a significant step in a relationship, but you can also use it as a test.

If you’re walking with a girl on the street or even while you’re sitting down with her, just bring your hand closer and try to hold her hand.

Watch her reaction: if she’s OK with holding your hand, you can also go for the kiss. If she pulls her hand away, try again later.

Of course, you could skip all of this by getting the girl to kiss you first! But that takes a high level of skill and confidence that takes time to develop.

2. Never hesitate while leaning in for a kiss

I’m warning you! If you’re going for the kiss, never hesitate. You’re either committed or not. 

If you’re hesitating while leaning in she’s going to sense your lack of confidence and lose attraction. Totally not worth it. 

If you become the guy that’s always asking, you’ll be dropped off at the nearest friend zone with all the other beta males.

So how do you lean into a kiss confidently?

Stop making kissing such a big deal. Stop thinking that every girl that kisses you is doing you a favor. No! You are an attractive guy that girls love kissing.

It may also help to start thinking of kissing as hugging because in fact, many cultures believe exactly that! Every time you kiss a girl, mentally see yourself hugging her instead.

Ultimately it’s about becoming more confident by following the tools and techniques taught in The Collection of Confidence course by Hypnotica.

3. Dealing being being rejected while leaning into a kiss

There are many different ways you could get rejected a girl:

  1. While you approach a girl 
  2. When you ask a girl out
  3. When you want to take her to the dance-floor
  4. When you are trying to kiss her

The last one is the most painful. It really hurts, but you must let that rejection pass by you for 2 reasons:

No doesn’t mean no forever. Just because she doesn’t want to kiss you now doesn’t mean she won’t kiss you at the end of the date.

In addition, as a man you will get rejected by many girls. There’s no way to get around that fact. If you let yourself get caught up with every rejection you get, you’ll have a miserable life.

4. Wait for the best time to lean in for the kiss

Of course, you want to avoid getting rejected while leaning in for the kiss and part of that is waiting for the best time to kiss.

So when is the best time to lean in for the kiss? Here are some examples from my article titled When to KISS a Girl: The 9 Prime Times:

  1. When you find yourself alone with her
  2. You’re watching a romantic in a half empty theater
  3. You’re seeing many signs she wants to kiss you
  4. You’re going on a peaceful walk in a forest
  5. She’s already holding your hand

Sometimes it’s not about the right technique, it’s about the best timing.

5. Give her some signs you want to kiss

Before you move in for the kiss, you want to let her know first so that you don’t freak her out. 

Sure, spontaneous kissing can be super hot, but usually I’d go with letting her know first especially if this is your first time kissing a girl.

So how do you tell a girl that you want to kiss her? Here are the simple steps you can take:

  1. Start by talking more confidently. (It’ll help if you think about how fast you’re talking and slow it down.)
  2. Look at her in the eyes with the “I’m gonna kiss you” look. 
  3. Compliment her eyes before you move in

Most girls pickup on male body language very well, so that’s really all you need to do.

6. Sit close to her 

You can lean over the table to kiss, but it’s not the ideal situation.

Think about it: by kissing over the table, you are making yourself lean over 3-5 feet just to reach her lips!

That’s why I tell most guys to kiss while they are sitting down beside their girl. Now they won’t have to reach over and it’ll be hard to miss those precious lips.

Bottom line: sit close to your girl before trying to kiss her and never try to reach 2 feet over because you’ll end up kissing her nose!

getting ready to kiss a girl

7. What to say before you lean in for the kiss

We talked about telling her that you want to kiss, but what are you actually supposed to say before you lean in for the kiss?

  1. I need to kiss your precious lips
  2. I know you’re dying to kiss me…
  3. Heck! Let’s kiss right now
  4. I can tell that you need to kiss me
  5. I need your perfect lips now
  6. Sorry I can’t hold myself back
  7. Look up! 
  8. I know you love me

If you have a high level of confidence with women, I’d suggest you try one of the following ideas:

Say “may I kiss you” in a super confident way and watch her laugh and then kiss you. It’s the ultimate gentleman move.

If you like the idea of being the bad boy, start by asking her a question about anything you’d like and while she’s answering, cut her off by kissing her!

Important note: don’t let yourself think that you always need to talk. In fact, a big part of seduction is not saying anything at all.

Silence can get a girl to kiss you more than any words could. [12]

touching before leaning in for a kiss

8. Close your eyes

This is an obvious one that most beginners make while trying to get their first kisses: they keep their eyes open! But all you need to do is just keep your eyes shut while kissing!

If you don’t close your eyes will leaning in and kissing you’ll end up:

  1. Being crossed 
  2. Looking at her 2 cm away!
  3. Not even being sure about where to look

So yeah, close your eyes and go for it!

9. Go slowly

When we talk about taking things slowly I’m talking about:

  1. Speaking slowly
  2. Leaning in slowly
  3. Kissing slowly

You’ll notice the first thing inexperienced, scared guys do is rush every part of the kissing process. They want to grab their kiss and run away!

Please don’t do that. Even if you’re feeling worried about getting your kiss, don’t show any of your fear to the girl, it’s super unattractive. 

While you’re leaning in, go as slow as you can, don’t force it. This lets her anticipate the kiss and imagine how wonderful it’ll be.

While you’re kissing her, let yourself feel her soft, cute lips and don’t be afraid to kiss with a little tongue too! Let it become a sensual experience. 

10. Lean to the right

OK, I’ll admit: there are tons of different types and ways to kiss. You don’t have to lean to the right, you can do whatever you want because kissing is an art.

I’m just laying down the general rules for the beginners that want to start without screwing up too many times. That’s why I said lean to the right.

As you become more confident, remember that because you’re initiating the kiss it doesn’t really matter. The girl will follow your lead, but for now keep it simple. [3]

11. Let her lean in too 

Some guys assume that they need to do all the work when in fact that’s not true at all. You need to follow the 90/10 rule when it comes to kissing.

What’s the 90/10 rule?

It means you lean in 90% and let the girl make up the last 10%. The purpose of doing this is to make the girl commit to kissing you too.

You don’t want to end up doing all the work and you don’t have to because if she likes you, she’ll be happy to make up the last 10%

So before you lean in all the way, give her space. Let her meet you half-way.

12. What to do after you leaned in to kiss

Great! You’ve kissed her and maybe you even got some tongue action! But what do you do now?

Here are a couple options:

Touch her hair

If you’re sitting on a bench beside her (best case scenario) just back away, but keep your hand in her hair, caressing it lightly.

If you’re thinking of sleeping with her, place your hand by the roots of her hair and pull lightly because this makes them super horny!


You always want to give her a big smile no matter what else you do. Smiling is very powerful, it makes them feel safe, loved and cherished. [4]

Compliment her

I’ve talked about complimenting girls plenty. Just give her a compliment from one of my 100 compliments for girls and watch her eyes shine.

Say it sincerely, sound confident and I can promise you that she’ll kiss you again!

Cuddle and hug her 

I’ve said this many times: you don’t need to be in bed to cuddle. If you’re sitting outside on a bench let her lean her head on you and while she’s doing that, wrap your arms around her. 

Cuddling doesn’t have to be complicated and it’s great for right after a wet, tongue filled kiss!

You can even give her a light kiss

This is something that most guys don’t think about, but you can even lean in and give her a light kiss again. Lightly kiss her forehead or cheek and she’ll be so happy


Kissing is one of the best experiences and it’s super important that you get it right, but I think it’s important that you don’t beat yourself up when you fail.

Failure is OK and it will happen. Heck I’ve kissed tons of girls and I still mess up every so often. It’s OK to mess it up.

Be your own best friend, and realize that you will get better as you practice.

Your friend, 

Colt Smith


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