19 Steps to Get a Girl Without Getting Rejected

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Everyone knows that guys love girls and especially the cute ones, but what most guys don’t know is how to get a girl for themselves. 

In this article you will learn the exact step you need to take, without any fluff, so that you can get the beautiful girls you deserve. 

It’s also important to point out that you will get girls not because you’ll force them to be with you, but because after reading this post, girls will feel an irresistible attraction to you.

A perfect example of the type of girl you should get

But now is the time to get to work, so let’s go!

1. The best places to get a girl

Before we even get into talking about the best techniques to get a girl, we need to learn where you should apply those techniques.

In other words, where should you go to get a girl? Here are my favorite 8 places:

  1. The club
  2. The beach
  3. University campuses
  4. The mall
  5. The bookstore and the library
  6. The gym
  7. The street
  8. The food store

Truthfully, you can approach women almost anywhere, but as a beginner I’d stick around these types of places.

For more tips and info about meeting girls in each of these places read my post titled: Where To Meet Women: 8 HOTTEST Places. [1, 2]

2. Be charming

If only it was so easy to be charming around girls and to become that type of guy that girls love to impress. But as hard as it is, it’s not impossible.

So how do you become a charming guy?

You become the confident badass. You stop caring about what people think about you and do what you love. You live life on your terms. 

That’s the type of guy girls love and if you become this kind of guy, you’ll get any girl you like. 

Stop being needy in every relationship, instead exude self-sufficiency. Talk to girls like they are normal people and not these perfect, cute little angels.

Becoming a charming, confident guy is what this post is about because ultimately becoming a charming guy is what will get you girls.

Everything we’re about to talk about is just a manifestation of this.

3. Have a fun life

Girls only want to be with guys that enjoy their life. Just imagine approaching women while feeling depressed, no woman will want to go out with you!

I want you to exude the type of energy that tells every girl you meet: “I’m loving every moment of my life and I want to enjoy my life with you.”

You already know that when you’re in a happy state of mind, everything in your life seems to fall into place perfectly. People even respond to you better.

For me it was starting my own business. Working hard everyday and seeing progress gave me a reason to wake up every morning. 

FYI: how did I start my business? Well a good friend of mine showed me this training for online businesses (free of charge) and thankfully I watched it, because now, three years later, I am doing very well financially.

But my point is that you’re gonna get good with girls, you need to love yourself, be happy, have fun and live an awesome life. No normal girl will want to live with a sad, unhappy loser.

4. Don’t let yourself fall into the friend zone

When you take a girl on a date, tell her what you want. Show her what you want. Show your intent.

Since you want to sleep with that girl, don’t pretend like you just want to be her friend and try to trick her into bed. There’s no point and you usually end up in the friend zone anyways.

When you meet a girl, tell her what you like about her. Tell her that she looks beautiful. Tell her that she’s the cutest girl you’ve ever met.

Make it clear that you’re sexually attracted to her. (You might even want to employ techniques for getting a girl horny fast so she feels an instant attraction to you as well.)

If she doesn’t want to get into a romantic relationship with you, just ditch her and get yourself a different girl. Don’t wait in the friend zone hoping that she’ll take you out someday. She won’t.

OK, but let’s say it’s too late. You’re reading this and you’ve already been dumped to the nearest friend zone. What now? How do you get out of the friend zone fast?

Thankfully I’ve already covered this topic and here are the basic steps you need to take:

  1. Wait some time where you don’t talk to each other which makes her forget about just being friends
  2. Start giving her “hot” compliments
  3. Start talking to all the other girls to make her jealous
  4. Finally, ask her out

But like I said, it’s better to avoid the friend zone at all costs, so tell every girl you meet that you like her and that you want to take her out. Avoid all confusion.

getting a girl without ending up in the friend zone

5. Become an alpha male 

We all know that becoming an alpha male means you get all the girls. We don’t always know why or how they attract all the girls.

But today I want you to learn the most important steps to becoming an alpha male. 

First off, become super masculine. You need to accept and love your masculinity 1000%. Be rough, be tough and fight for what you love.

But more importantly, become passionate about life. This goes back to what we said earlier: build your own business, make yourself wealthy. Girls love that.

That’s why I told you about that business training earlier (the free of charge one) so that you can start planting your own money machine today.

Being an alpha male means you take action and if you don’t even take action by watching that training, how can I ever expect you to change your life in any other way?

In any case, by becoming masculine and passionate about your life, you arouse women to feel a natural attraction for you so get to work today! [3]

6. Give special compliments to girls

I loooove this part! It’s so insane how powerful compliments are and how little guys use them. 

If I could only give you one piece of advice when it comes to girls it would be: learn how to compliment girls.


But how do you compliment girls well? Great question, so here are my principles that work whether you texting, on a date or you’ve just met her.

Number one, make your compliment something that no other guy has ever thought of saying before. Telling a girl she’s cute is great, but already she’s heard it 1000 times.

Here are some better alternatives:

  1. I know women willing to pay a million bucks to get lips that look as juicy as yours
  2. Every little detail of your face comes together and overwhelms me completely
  3. How do you have such perfect eyes, I couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful
  4. Gosh, go hide somewhere, you’re making all the other girls super jealous!

While you’re telling her all these beautiful things, remember the beauty/ personality principle. But what’s the beauty/ personality principle?

It means that if you’re talking to an attractive girl, compliment her personality because she’s already so used to getting comments about her looks.

If she’s an OK looking girl, compliment her beauty because that’s what she’s desperate to hear. She doesn’t want to hear anything about her personality.

And lastly, when you tell a girl your compliment, please don’t sound needy. Don’t give her a compliment to get something out of her. 

Simply, give her a compliment because she deserves your compliment. By following these rules, you’ll get a girl in no time.

7. Build up your body

This topic is full of controversy. Some guys will tell you looks are all that matter when it comes to girls. Others will say that confidence is all that counts.

I stand in the middle: I believe you need a good looking body AND sexy confidence if you really want to get any girl you want.

Find a workout program that works for you and get working. You’d be surprised, but in a matter of months you could be looking a lot better!

This is literally how you get a girl to notice you instantly. When you go to the beach with a ripped body you’ll have every girl’s attention!

The more masculine you look, the more attractive you’ll look. It’s that simple.

looking masculine to get a girl

8. Don’t give up when a girl rejects you

When you approach a girl the first thing she’ll do is test your level of confidence and manliness in many different ways:

  1. Tell you how she’s too busy for you
  2. Tell you that she’s got a boyfriend
  3. Ignore you completely
  4. And many more ways!

The point is that while you’re trying to get this girl she will push you down with these tests to see if you’ll get back up. She want to see that you believe you deserve her.

She actually wants you to pass these tests which means you can’t have the victim mentality. You need to be confident and every time a girl rejects you, don’t let it knock you down and try again.

Stop complaining and start talking to girls today!

9. Ask girls out

Asking girls out is a crucial step to getting yourself a girl because if you’re not dating her, she’s not your girlfriend.

Of course asking girls out can be super scary for a beginner which is why I recommend you read my post titled How To Ask a GIRL Out Over TEXT In 9 SOLID Steps.

But if you’ve finished The Collection of Confidence seduction course by Hypnotica and have no problem chatting up girls on the street, I’d recommend you ask girls out face to face.

But how do you ask a girl out face to face? Just follow these simple steps:

  1. Decide where you want to take her out
  2. Have a fun conversation
  3. Give her compliments
  4. Ask her for her number so that you can get a coffee with her later

It’s really that simple and there’s no reason to make a big deal out of it.

10. Be funny around girls

I don’t think being funny around girls is about reading books on humor and memorizing 100 jokes. To me having a good sense of humor is about laughing at the ridiculous things in life.

It’s about taking life less seriously and letting go of your anger, stress and fear. 

And believe it or not, but studies have proven that girls are attracted to guys with a good sense of humor. 

So although I can’t give you any specific pieces of practical advice, I will tell you that by just taking life a bit easier by not taking everything too seriously, you’ll be coming up with some good jokes naturally.

11. Learn how to get a girl with a course

We both know that many spammy courses are full of useless information. The challenge is finding the amazing course, while leaving the bad ones behind…

Luckily for you I’ve paid for many courses throughout my journey and now I know what’s worth paying for and what’s not.

And let me lay it out simply:

If you’re looking for a solid audio course with Whatsapp coaching to motivate you along the way to make sure you take action, without a doubt get The Rise of The Phoenix by Sebastian Harris.

If you need a course that’ll literally teach you every little step of the way to becoming the ultimate seducer and you want a big emphasis on confidence, then get The Collection of Confidence by Hypnotica.

But why should you get courses when all this information is available online in blog posts, YouTube videos and podcasts for free? 

Because by getting a course, you are investing in a system that works and you know exactly what you need to do.

But when you listen to podcasts and other random sources of information you’ll be left totally confused and not knowing what to do which will lead you to inaction.

That’s why you’re much better off getting one of the recommended courses, practicing daily and seeing results.

12. Get a girl to kiss you

Awesome! We’ve made some incredible progress: you’re becoming the alpha male that all the girls like, you’re building up your life and even asking some girls out! 

But there’s one thing you’re missing: kissing a girl. Till you’ve kissed a girl you can’t say that you’ve gotten a girl for yourself.

Frankly you’re still in the friend zone till you kiss her lips. Thankfully I’ve written many articles about how to kiss girls well, but for now I’ll give you a quick run down:

  1. Make sure that she likes you before you do anything
  2. Start by touching her to make her feel comfortable with you
  3. Give her compliments about her lips that make her blush
  4. Lean into the kiss while placing your hand on her cheek
  5. Let her stand a little taller to meet you and kiss!

And by the way, once you’ve kissed a girl it shouldn’t be that hard to sleep with her that night as long as you don’t screw things up.

13. Have a good conversation with a girl

Sure you can get a girl with some charm and a good kiss, but how do you keep that girl? By having passionate, fun conversations with her.

Don’t fall into the trap of acting like a robot in relationships. Let yourself experience emotions, have fun conversations and flirt with her!

If you’re not sure what to talk about, go read my article titled What GIRLS Like To Talk About and you’ll get plenty of easy conversation starters. 

Quick tip: questions can be a great way to start a conversation with a girl, but don’t become an interrogator! Here are some examples of what you should NOT do:

  1. What do you do?
  2. Where do you live?
  3. Where do you work?
  4. How did you get here?

If you want a full list of great questions that you can ask any girl, read my post titled 50+ Hot Questions To Ask a Girlfriend. But as a general rule: keep all your questions open ended.

14. Get a girl that likes what you like

Here’s a small, but overlooked tip: don’t get a girl that has nothing to do with you! If you’re the extroverted party animal and she’s a bookworm, it’s not gonna work out no matter how hot she is!

You’ve got to find a girl that is interested in the same type of things you’re interested in, I don’t care if it’s books, RC planes or hiking; it’s gotta be the same!

15. Take care of yourself 

Any girl will feel embarrassed to go out with a guy that doesn’t look put together. Having yellow teeth, a stained T-shirt on and greasy hair will ruin all your chances with girls.

When you make yourself look more masculine with nice muscles, white teeth, a new shirt on, and clean hair, girls will respond to you much better. 

When you look good you are subconsciously showing girls that you have a high level of self-respect which is very attractive to them. This automatically raises your chances of getting a high quality girl.

Brushing your teeth twice a day and buying good clothing might be hard and that’s why most guys don’t do it, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll get any girl’s attention effortlessly.

16. Talk to multiple girls

Talking to multiple girls is super important for a 2 reasons even if you only want one girl:

You learn about the female perspective

Even if you only become their friend and nothing more, you’re still going to learn about how the female mind works. 

This is especially important if you didn’t grow up around girls because now you get the chance to learn about what they like and what they don’t like. 

You’ll get a girl by making her jealous

When you start chatting up all the other girls, you’ll be making your original crush all jealous of all these other girls getting your attention.

Which means she’ll be so angry that she lost your attention and will do everything to get it back by becoming your biggest fan and even sleeping with you.

In other words, you can get a girl by making her come to you because of her feelings of jealousy and feelings of being left out.

17. Talk slowly around girls

I used to talk soooo quickly around girls while I was a virgin because I had so little experience with women and it ruined many great opportunities.

If you only get one thing from this post then let it be this: do not rush any conversation, talk quickly or force yourself to answer everything instantly.

Instead, while talking to girls, let yourself pause occasionally and deliberately talk slowly because this let’s every girl know you have core confidence which is irresistibly attractive to them.

I don’t care if you internally freak out every time to try to get a girl, I want you to cover it up and talk slowly. Don’t let any girl see your fear because once you do, it’s game over.

Quick tip: instead of seeing talking to a girl as a means to an end, see it as an end of itself. Once you internalize this, talking slowly shouldn’t be a challenge.

18. Don’t make getting a girl a big deal

There’s a big difference between an alpha male’s and a beta male’s mindset. The beta male believe he doesn’t deserve any love, for example:

  1. If I get a kiss, they need to thank her for it
  2. If he gets a date with a girl I must pay for everything and thank her profusely 
  3. If she sleeps with me I must do everything for her

Don’t think this way!! Instead think like an alpha male:

  1. I’m a super attractive man and I always get the girls I like
  2. I deserve quality girls 
  3. Girls are naturally attracted to my masculine nature

In other words, the alpha male doesn’t make getting a girl such a big deal. Of course he likes sleeping around with girls, but he doesn’t hang his ego on girls.

Be the alpha male and get what you deserve! There’s no need to be so apologetic about everything.


I can give you all the tips you need, but if you don’t take action nothing can help you because ultimately only you can help you.

You need to rise up and pull your inner power out. You might be the scared virgin that I was, but if you keep on working hard you’ll see some fantastic results. 

If you need more help, get one of the courses I recommended, but till then best of luck to you! 

Your friend, 

Colt smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work