How To Tell If a GIRL Is Flirting with YOU

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You’ve got to learn how to tell if a girl is flirting with you because you might become the creepy dude that girls avoid. You think she’s flirting with you when she’s really just being nice.

Imagine thinking that a girl likes you and so you start trying to make her your girlfriend. What you don’t realize is that she was trying to tell you all along that she’s not into you.

You’ve got to learn when to move on, but you’ve also got to learn when to move in and be the bad boy.

Girls aren’t as open and won’t tell you “I love you” they will hint it at you. You must learn to decipher their hints.

Girls hate it when a guy totally doesn’t get it. He starts acting the nice guy when all she wants is to get taken into bed.

She wants to feel your strength and confidence when she gives you the hint.

The part the guys don’t get is that you need confidence to understand and attract girls. If you don’t have core confidence you’ll barely get girls.

Later in this post I’ll tell you my story about how I became confident and even learned how to perform seductive techniques on girls.

Yes, I was once awkward with girls, but wait till you hear my story.

1. She Touches you

This is the number one way you know a girl wants to get your attention. She touches you constantly.

Girls don’t want to make the move they want you to make the move on them. So they will encourage you by touching you in certain ways.

If she’s running her hand up and down your arm she is definitely flirting with you. She wants you to make the move on her.

On the other hand, if she just bumps into you don’t get all excited she just didn’t see you.

Also remember there is a difference between extroverted and introverted girls. Extroverted girls will touch you a lot more and it means much less.

That is just the way that they are. They are social girls. Party girls will do it all the time. [1]

But if she caresses any part of you she’s into you. She’s playing with your mind and you’ve got to get in the game.

But I promised that I would tell you a little about my journey. 

The only practical part that you need to know about is that I didn’t feel that I could ever be attractive to girls. I was depressed.

It was over a period of 5 years. It was a long journey.

Then I got a course. A seduction course. The first one that I ever decided to get because a friend recommended it to me.

And this course taught me to change everything  did when it came to women. No more trying to get their love. Just calm, core confidence.

Actually I just found out that they added a whole bunch of stuff to the course that wasn’t on there when I got it.

The course is called The Tao of Badass. I’ll tell you more about it soon, but this was where my life headed in a much better direction.

2. She Laughs at your jokes

Flirting is a very playful way to connect with a girl. Nothing is serious.

That is the number ingredient for flirting. But when she laughs at your jokes even when they aren’t the best, she likes you and she’s flirting with you.

I can’t quite explain this, but laughing at your jokes is a way of telling you “I’m attracted to you.”

Maybe it’s a girl’s way of saying “you are so intelligent and funny and I feel so attracted to you because of that.”

But either way when a girl thinks you’re funny it’s a great sign that she’s flirting with you. She wants to connect with you over laughter. [2]

3. She Sends you selfies

Although most girls won’t send you nudes, there is one thing that they will do: send you cute selfies when they are looking the best.

Guys don’t realize it, but it takes a long time for a girl to put on her makeup, get dressed and to make sure everything looks right. 

She puts in a lot of effort.

But when she puts all this effort in and then she sends you a selfie of herself she is looking to impress you and receive some hot compliments.

She wants you to drool over her photo. That’s how she flirts with you over text.

She wants to spark up the conversation. She wants to keep you passionate about the relationship.

This is what I started to see shortly after I got that course. Although I did not have instant results. 

But after a while of studying and implementing the ideas by dating 10’s of girls I started getting selfies. They wanted to talk to me!

If you want this to you’ve got to learn how. It’s there waiting for you, but you’ve got to take action.

4. She makes excuses to be with you

Just think about what she would do if she was with Chad. You know, the type of guy that all the girls like.

Do you think that she would do everything to make time to be with him? Of course.

Do you think that she would drop everything to be with her dream man? Yes! 

This is also how you know if she is flirting with you. Just ask yourself is this how she would act if she was with her dream man.

If the answer is yes, then you know that this girl is flirting. 

If you guys are officially only friends so far and you notice that she’s finding ways to do things with you, why not take her out on a date.

Learn how to get out of the friend-zone and start dating her. Why make her flirt in secrecy?

5. She faces you

A lot of the time body language is not only non-verbal, it’s also subconscious. She doesn’t even know that she is displaying this body language.

But here is a clear sign of what’s going on in her subconscious mind.

When you are sitting down together eating lunch, is she facing towards you? What direction is her body facing you?

If she feels uncomfortable with you or she isn’t interested you’ll notice that her body shifts away from you.

Your girl will be almost looking at you from the side.

You will be able to tell that she feels uncomfortable. If you are in this situation you better change how she feels fast.

Before I got real guidance and learned how to play with feminine energy every girl felt uncomfortable with me. It’s tricky, but with some practice you’ll make it too.

But if you notice that her whole body is facing you and she’s even leaning in towards you that means that she likes you. [3]

This is a sign that she wants to flirt with you. She wants to see more of you.

It’s natural that anything that we don’t like we make some distance between that and us. Make sure that she wants to be closer to you.

You have to be her dream  man. The one that she thinks about every morning when she wakes up.

6. She’s always trying to get your attention

She might slap you on the wrist, say your name all the time, and usually annoy you just to get your attention.

I love the annoying part. 

Man these girls will drive you crazy when they want to get your attention. You can’t blame them, it’s their way of flirting.

Girls will do anything to get the attention of their boyfriend and they expect him to know why they are acting that way.

Yeah I know… not fair.

Usually guys are trying to get a chick’s attention. Girls are walking around a mall and we’ve got to approach them and get their attention when they usually aren’t interested! 

It’s usually so much harder for us to flirt with girls.

But that’s exactly my point.

When girls start working hard to get our attention, it means she’s attracted to you. 

Like I said she might be saying your name all the time. While you are talking on the phone, texting and having a coffee together,

She won’t stop. You could be sitting down on the couch and all of sudden she starts climbing on top of you.

She’ll start kissing you when you least want it. It can be very annoying. But that’s how she connects with guys.

If she slaps you on the wrist that’s her way of telling you to make a move on her. You’ve got to get your act together, build that confidence and start talking to her.

7. Talking about your future with her

Like a lot of these signs you’ll only start seeing them once she knows you. This is not how guys work.

We initiate the flirting the second we see them. But girls need time to get to know their guy.

So you’ll probably have to meet up with her once or twice before you start seeing this. 

She will start talking about where you will go with her in the future. She might also talk about what you will do with her.

It’s all about future planning. She is assuming that you’ll stay with her.

This is also how she is trying to stimulate the conversation. And like I mentioned earlier, she wants to get your attention.

8. She teases you

The word teasing is almost the definition of flirting.

I mean teasing in a playful way. She pokes fun about little things that you do wrong. She might laugh at the way your hair is done.

Another simple example is when you are having supper with her and she laughs at the way you are eating.

She loves you and this is her way of connecting with you. She also might be testing you to see how much of a man you really are.

She wants to know if you can stay masculine and not take her comments personally. She doesn’t want you to get emotional.

That’s how a girl gets attracted to a guy. She tests him by teasing him and seeing whether he’s solid.

If you don’t get emotional and let things fly she won’t be able to get enough of you. This is where you need solid confidence.

I had no confidence at the beginning of my journey. But I built it up through time, there is nothing stopping you from cold approaching girls today.

I get it, it can be scary, but you’ll get past it. Plus if you can’t get past your fears you can get the course that I mentioned before.

9. She brings up a little dirty talk

This is a huge sign. This might even be past flirting. 

Girls very rarely bring up sex. They want you to bring it up.

But that means if she brings it up either she’s a crazy girl or she’s crazy into you. 

Here is how you know: 

If she was talking about sex from the beginning then stay clear from her. She is not emotionally healthy.

But if she’s been acting normal and now she only hints to sex she is a healthy, but horny girl.

She might say:

  1. “Your skin feels so good against mine” while caressing your hand
  2. She might tell you erotic stories
  3. “I enjoy playing with you” when she’s just holding your hand
  4. “You drive me crazy when you look at me in the eyes”

She isn’t being overt about getting into bed. And that’s why it’s a flirty way of saying take me to bed now.

10. She stares at you

This is hilarious. And it’s a great ego booster.

When you notice this cute girl that can’t stop looking at you. She might even lick her lips and can’t stop herself even when you notice.

You’re on a date and she wont stop staring at your eyes, but once you look into her eyes, she switches to your lips.

Then she looks at your arms. She licks her lips again just looking at you.

I promise you that she wants to lick other things if you get her moving. This is a clear sign.

As long as you aren’t blind, you can see this from a mile away.

11. She acts awkward around you

Just keep your eyes open with this one. This is the clearest sign.

You’ll see this when she’s been around you for a while, she knows what type of guy you are, but you haven’t talked yet.

You’ll see her talking with her friends and the second she notices you she starts getting all awkward. She seems so under pressure, but you can’t figure out why.

It almost seems like she can’t walk normally the second you walk by her. She looks like she’s so stuck in her head and self-conscious.

This usually means that she wants to get your approval. She wants you to think highly of her.

You could be on a date and for some reason she forgot how to speak English normally. She can’t remember how to put sentences together.

All you need to do is allow her to relax. Sleep with her and deepen the relationship.


Girls love guys. Girls will flirt with tons of guys and they do, but most guys just don’t see it. 

Guys can’t read the sign because they just don’t know, but mostly because they don’t have the confidence to react to the girl that’s flirting with them.

If you don’t have the confidence then go start talking to girls. The only way you will get better is by taking action.

If you are too paralyzed in fear and you want to brush up on some skills then get the course that I used when I started off.

But realized the course won’t change you. You need to change you. 

That doesn’t mean the course won’t save you years of time and hard work. You’ll learn everything when it comes to women from that course.

How to approach, talk and seduce girls. You’ll learn how to read their body language. I’m just saying that you’ll need to take action nonetheless. 

So get the course now before you run out of time and take massive action.

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work