14+ Things to Talk About On a First Date

In this article you’ll learn about the 10 things you can talk about on a first date so that you never run out of things to talk about.

In addition you’ll also learn how to talk on a date so you don’t sound like a moron and learn how to talk her all the way back to your place!

I am writing this article based on my experience (which includes a lot of failures!), some research and The Collection of Confidence Course by Hypnotica.

Side note: even though I’ll be writing this article from a guy’s perspective, if you’re a girl don’t worry, all of these things apply to you just as equally. This post is a complete guide for guys and girls so let’s get started!

1. Talk about the venue

This is the easiest topic to talk about because you’re right there, it’s super simple and there’s plenty to talk about, for example:

  1. The music
  2. How crowded it is
  3. How hot/ cold it is
  4. How the food is
  5. How loud it is
  6. Talk about other restaurants

These can be easy ice-breakers to open up the conversation, but try to move on to something else if you can.

Also, if you’re going to talk about the food don’t joke about the food she just ordered and never make fun of the way she’s eating because girls feel super insecure about those kinds of things.

And by the way, don’t go to super loud places where you can’t even hear each other talking! The neighborhood park is a great place to go for a date. 

For more about the basics of talking to girls read my post titled How To Talk To Girls: 18 Little Known Ways.

2. Talk about why you asked her out

This is also something you only want to talk about at the beginning of the date because it’ll get boring pretty quickly.

  1. If she had the prettiest dress on, tell her
  2. If she’s super cute, tell her
  3. If she’s perfectly beautiful, tell her

Just remember the reason why you approached and asked her out. If you can’t remember, just come up with some reason and tell her.

This is all about appearance, you are not talking about her personality, so keep the following rule in mind:

If you want to hook up with her, talk about her beauty and how sexually attracted you are. However, if you’re looking for a long term relationship, just mention her beauty casually and move on.

This is about flattering her without looking needy which also means you better stay away from bragging about yourself.

The second you start talking about yourself too much, you’re showing that you’re a needy guy that’s looking for validation. 

Remember: she doesn’t care how much money you make or how much you can bench press – especially on the first date.

example of a good first date

3. Talk about the awkwardness of the first date

Unless you’ve been on 10’s of dates before there’s not much you can do about the inevitable awkwardness, but there is something you can do about it:

Talk about the awkwardness!

Instead of trying to cover it up as if it didn’t exist, be open about it. Joke about how every first date is so damn awkward for you!

Tell embarrassing stories about your first dates, talk about how scared you get before first dates and you can even make self-deprecating jokes.

Because remember, even if you get a seriously good seduction course like The Collection of Confidence Course by Hypnotica and get rid of 99% of your fear, 1% will always stick around, so why not joke about it?

If you’ve got the guts, you can even pray with her that your second date will be better! That’s one way to break the ice on a first date!

4. Talk about stupid, humorous stuff

Stupid humor is totally fine for a first date because it tell you a lot about the girl. Can she laugh at your stupid jokes or is she too serious that it takes a career comedian to make her chuckle?

Never be scared to crack some stupid joke because the whole point of the first date is to have fun. 

Don’t try to seem so serious and perfect! She’s already interested and agreed to go on a date with you, so why not fool around a little?

The best part about this technique is that if she goes along with your jokes you can have the goofiest conversation ever, for example:

Talk about why you think marshmallows are crucial to society and why you’re creating the international marshmallows foundation.

Talk about why you’re trying to create a law that requires every citizen to go to a waterpark twice a year or why everyone should own 2 umbrellas! 

It doesn’t really matter as long as it’s goofy! Stupid humor can be the best humor.

5. Talk about something you both know

After you’ve talked about the venue, her looks, the awkwardness, and made some stupid jokes, you are ready to have a real conversation!

This is when you want to bring up a topic that both of you know and like to talk about, here are some great examples: 

  1. Hiking
  2. Painting 
  3. Biking 
  4. Woodworking 
  5. Animals/ pets
  6. Fishing
  7. Swimming
  8. Skiing 
  9. Making money online
  10. Personal development 
  11. Marathon running

Keeping all of these topics in mind, it’s important you learn HOW to talk on a date:

As discussed in The Collection of Confidence Course by Hypnotica you always want to talk slowly like you aren’t pressed for time. Never sound like you need to impress her because it gives her the vibe that you aren’t experienced with women.

In addition, talk like this first date isn’t a big deal. Talk to her like you always get dates. In fact, treat this date like you’re just hanging out with her.

If you follow these rules, you’re virtually guaranteed a second date and you might even take her home on your first date (if that’s what you’re into).

talking about adventures on a first date

6. Talk about naughty stuff

OK, so this is something you usually want to only talk about in later dates, but if you’re looking to hookup, talking dirty on a first date is not only fine, but crucial.

By the way, don’t be scared to talk dirty, in my post titled What GIRLS Like To Talk About I make it abundantly clear that girls love talking about sexual stuff, but you’ve got to follow the following rules:

First of all, be sure that you see enough signs that she likes you and try to wait until the end of the first date so that she feels comfortable enough to get naughty around you. 

Then start teasing her in slightly sexual ways, for example:

  1. You don’t have to stare at my butt ALL THE TIME!!
  2. Would you quit trying to seduce me already!
  3. I love how you bite your lips like that
  4. If you keep on playing with your hair like that I might just lose my mind
  5. What is the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done
  6. How do you look so sexy!?

I especially like talking about a girl’s lips because it’s a great way to transition to kiss on the first date, but before you run off and apply these instructions, I must warn you:

Do not be super flirty all the time. You can’t be teasing her all the time or else she’ll think of you as a creep and the date won’t end well… but otherwise you’ll be fine.

7. Don’t talk like it’s an interview

All this time I’ve been telling you what you can talk about, but now we better talk about how you shouldn’t talk on a date.

Never treat a date as an interview because once you start asking her 10,000 questions in your ‘interrogation,’ she’ll freak out and will find the nearest exit to escape.

I’m not saying you can’t ask questions, you can, in fact I have a whole post titled 50+ Hot Questions To Ask a Girlfriend! But you need to ask questions in a way that shows your interest and attraction to her.

When you ask her about her job, you’re asking because she’s a beautiful girl that you want to get to know, you are not looking to hire her!

When you ask her questions, give her time to talk and always relate what she says back to yourself. 

And when she asks you about yourself, answer without talking quickly and end by asking her an open ended question so that the conversation flows smoothly. 

If you find yourself talking like an interviewer, just relax, release tension and have fun.

8. Talk about her family

Unlike getting into naughty stuff, talking about family is great for a first date because it breaks the ice and you’ll actually get to know her.

Don’t just ask her how many siblings she has, instead really try to get her story:

  1. What type of family did she grow up with?
  2. What are the most amazing trips that she’s been on?
  3. What are the craziest stories or fights she’s had with her brothers?
  4. What are the funniest stories she has from school?

Like I said, it’s about getting her story, get the experiences that make her who she is today, but be careful about bringing up traumatic moments.

If she’s had problems with her father, mother or anyone else, don’t bring it up. Instead talk about all the other things we brought up earlier.

9. Talk about her job

When I say talk about her job I don’t mean that you start giving her financial advice! Your first date is not supposed to be an economics class!

What I really mean is that you can tease her about how much she hates her job and how she wants to get back at her boss as a punishment!

And while she’s talking about her job, you can talk about yours too. I get it, no one likes working, but don’t spend half the date complaining about your job because you don’t want to seem like a loser who hates life.

Plus, if you sound excited about your job it shows the girl that you’re happy with your life which is definitely an attractive character trait.

10. Talk about what she does in her free time

This is the number one question you always ask when you approach a girl for the first time: “what do you do with your free time?”

Instead of boring her with the “what do you do?” question, you’re actually engaging her. She actually can talk all about her hobbies, projects and Netflix shows she loves to watch.

In addition, by asking this question you’re coming off as a friendly guy because it shows you are interested in her life which is important for creating a deep level of trust. (Don’t mix this up with being Mr. Nice Guy!)

11. Talk about how cute she is

We already discussed talking about her physical appearance, but when I say “talk about how cute she is” I am focusing on her cute personality, not her looks.

Telling a girl she’s cute is super important, in fact I’ve written a full post about it titled 8 Solid Methods to Tell a Girl She’s Cute and Make Her Blush, but let me warn you first:

Don’t tell her how cute she is all the time because it absolutely will creep her out. You will make yourself seem super insecure and definitely won’t get a second date.

Keep your compliments to a minimum. Just enough so that she feels a nice ego boost, but enough teasing so that she’s always coming back for more.

Listen, the moment you start gushing about how much you love her, you’ll be dropped off at the nearest friend zone and good luck trying to get out of there!

12. Talk about goals

Talk about your goals and ask about her goals. 

You always want to ask a girl about her goals so that you can tell already by the first date if this girl is worth your time, if this girl is someone you want to like.

If you see that she sleeps in her mom’s basement all day, gets drunk at night and has no direction in life, you’d be much better off letting her go ASAP. 

You also want to talk about your goals for several reasons:

First of all, because it shows her that you are ambitious about life, you’re a happy man and it also sets a time limit to your date because you can tell her that in half an hour you need to go to finish a project.

This is a great way to end the date without being awkward about it, you just need to go because you have things to do.

13. Talk about what you talked about when you approached

This only works if you approach a girl at the bar, gym or on the street and you have to remember what you first talked about with her.

  1. Did you crack a stupid joke about school?
  2. Did she mention something hilarious about her family?
  3. What college degree did she say she’s finishing?

Whatever you spoke about just bring it up again as an ice breaker because you anyways already spoke about it earlier.

14. What not to talk about on a first date

Now we get to discuss what you should never talk about on a first date:

  1. Religion
  2. Politics
  3. Exes
  4. Kids or no kids
  5. Intense emotions/ trauma 

Your first date is just about having fun and getting to know each other. Always wait till the second or third date to bring up politics or religion.

And like I said don’t get too emotionally invested or complement her continuously because it only shows how needy and clingy you are.

Don’t tease her about the way she eats or the food she ordered because that is something girls are genuinely insecure about and stay away from making fun of her quiet and shy personality.


Besides for all the things you better not talk about, there plenty of things to talk about. But before you spend your next date talking about all sorts of interesting things, remember this:

The point of a first date isn’t to talk. The point is to create a connection so don’t force yourself to fill in every moment of silence. Sometimes silence is golden!

Your friend, 

Colt Smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work