How To Get Out of The Friend Zone After Rejection In 11 Pro Steps

  • Home
  • /
  • Charisma
  • /
  • How To Get Out of The Friend Zone After Rejection In 11 Pro Steps

Getting out of the friend zone after rejection is a tough place to be in because you feel angry that she cock-blocked you, but you still want her…

The average “friend zoning” happens when a girl will slide you under the table “nicely” or tell you that she has a boyfriend. But you didn’t get friend zoned the nice way: you got rejected.

You told her that you want more than a platonic relationship and she shut you down with a clear rejection! She never even had any sexual attraction for you. She never wanted to sleep with you.

Maybe you were having fun with her at the park and you finally built up the courage to tell her that you like her and she outright told you no!

You thought you’d get the kiss and a hot girlfriend, but now you don’t know what to do with yourself. You don’t even know if your friendship is over…

In this post you’ll get the exact steps you need to take to: spark sexual attraction, stay out of the friend zone and make her regret rejecting you.

1. Let go of the rejection

Letting go of the rejection means you’ve moved on. You’ve stopped taking her rejection personally and stopped feeling any sort of anger towards her.

The moment you get all emotional, you hand all of your inner power to her. You make yourself her little submissive puppet and she becomes your dominant master.

That’s not how you get a girl to like you again.

So before we start with any of the other steps, I want you to let go of any negative feelings you have towards this girl so that you can start thinking with a clear mind.

2. Don’t talk with her for 3 weeks

Why am I telling you to wait some time before you start talking to her again?

Because this girl has already categorized you (in her mind) as a friend, NOT as a sexual partner and so whatever you try to tell her, she’ll just filter it with the lens of you being a friend.

  • Try to compliment her, she’ll see you as a creep
  • Try to kiss her, she’ll push you away
  • Try to hold her hand, she’ll avoid you
  • Continue talking to her and she’ll see you as a stalker

Waiting a couple weeks will allow her to forget about framing you as a friend, giving you a fresh start. So what does this practically mean?

  1. Stay away from her for at least 3 weeks
  2. Don’t talk to her for 3 weeks
  3. Don’t text her for 3 weeks

Once you’ve finished with this, you’re ready to move on to the next step…

3. Understand why you got rejected

Before we move onto finding concrete solutions, we need to find the root of the problem:

  • Why did she reject you?
  • Why didn’t she feel any sexual attraction?
  • Why didn’t you have the confidence to make her crazy for you?
  • Why wouldn’t this girl want to kiss you?

To answer these questions, let’s read the definition of the friend zone:

“When a girl decides that you’re just her friend because you don’t exude the traits of an alpha male to sexually attract her while you think that being a beta male provider will get you laid.”

You got rejected and friend zoned because you don’t have unstoppable, core confidence and think that being nice, empathic and apologetic will spark attraction.

So before we go any further, let me share with you some tips from The Collection of Confidence Training by Hypnotica so that you can reclaim your natural, alpha confidence:

  1. Built an abundance mindset
  2. Understand that girls want bad boys and not nice guys
  3. Start using positive affirmations

There’s much more to talk about, but obviously I can’t share everything because this information belongs to Hypnotica, the creator of The Collection of Confidence Training.

example of being rejected and being put in the friend zone

4. Get over the fear of rejection

Girls are sexually attracted to men, but by you fearing violence, arguments or rejection, you only become a boy in every girl’s mind. In other words….

[bctt tweet=”You being afraid of getting rejected is exactly what got you rejected.” username=”datingarmory”]

When a woman sees that you don’t care what she thinks about you, she immediately gets 10 times more attracted to you.

But how do you show a girl that you don’t care about being rejected? You pass her sh*t-tests, here are some examples:

  1. If she tells you that you’re a jerk. Just agree and say “yep.”
  2. If she tells you that you’re too sweet. Tell her: “No, I’m f*cking cute.”
  3. If she tells you that you have nothing in common, just chuckle, roll your eyes and get her phone number.
  4. If she asks you to take a picture of her, ask her if you look like a photographer.
  5. If she asks you to hold her purse, just respond with “say please.”
  6. If she tells you that you give the same compliment to all girls. Ask her if she needs a special complement to feel good about herself.
  7. If she tells you that you’re a nice guy, tell her “I’m a jerk, but keep thinking that because it’ll be easier to control you.”
  8. If she makes fun of the way you look, just tell her “yeah, but that’s because you haven’t seen my pink underwear.”

In all of these cases, she wants to see how confident you are by poking your ego, your job is to not get rattled at all and move on as if nothing happened – even if she gets angry.

Need some more help? Get the confidence training from Hypnotica that we mentioned in Step 5: Understand why you got rejected.

5. Become more masculine

Because you’ve already been rejected, you can’t get out of the friend zone through texting or in any other fast way. You need to develop your own character traits to transform yourself as a man.

But what is the number one characteristic you need to develop?


Solid, unapologetic masculinity is the only thing that will ever sexually attract a woman to you. The more masculine you are the more attractive you are to women.

But how can you be more masculine?

  1. Look more masculine (read: How To Look More MASCULINE And TOUGH In 8 Ways)
  2. Get over the fear of rejection (as discussed in Step 4: Get over the fear of rejection)
  3. Become passionate
  4. Build a business
  5. Become independent

How do you get passionate, build a business and become independent?

My number piece of advice is for guys to build their own business, preferably their own online business, not just because you’ll make money passively even while you’re sleeping, but because you’ll become passionate and financially independent very quickly.

But how are you supposed to get started with that!?

Simple! Just watch this 2 hour LIVE training by John Crestani (I think it’s free of charge) where he teaches the steps you need to take and the mistakes that you need to avoid as a beginner.

6. Make friends with all of her girl friends

Now that you’ve transformed yourself, it’s time for you to start making moves on your crush, but we’re not going to start with your crush, we’re going to start with your crush’s female friends.


Because the friends of a girl decide who her next boyfriend will be, but why is that true?

Because girls are super sensitive to what people think of them. No girl would get into a relationship with a guy that her own friends don’t like.

So by winning her friends over, you’re winning her over. If her friends like you, your chances of getting her as your girlfriend are much higher.

You must start being cool around her friends, you can even try to impress them. Show them that you’re an attractive guy and they’ll go tell your crush about you and make her talk to you!

So now you’re getting out of the friend zone without saying anything to the girl you like! Isn’t that amazing?

7. Have tons of fun

This is the last step before you officially get out of the friend zone: start having crazy fun in your life: if you’re sitting at home depressed, watching Netflix all day, you are doing it wrong.

Start taking the actions that we mentioned in Step 5: Become more masculine so that you have the money to go on the trips to make your crush jealous, for example:

  1. Skydiving
  2. Hiking
  3. Renting sports cars
  4. Going on vacations
  5. Paintballing

You want your girl to feel like you put her in the friend zone and make her feel like she has to seduce you because all the other girls want to be part of your awesome life.

8. Complement and tease her

Let’s start with complimenting your girl. But I just want you to remember that the key to an effective compliment is not what you say, it’s how you say it.

Say them in a cool, confident way and watch her blush, here are some great examples:

  1. Your eyes have the perfect shade of blue
  2. I can’t control myself whenever I look into your eyes
  3. Your smile makes me smile
  4. You look like a model with that dress on
  5. You remind me of Megan Fox
  6. Your lips are so damn kissable

You can copy/paste these, but I’d recommend that you tweak them or even come up with your own so that you sound more authentic when you say them.

Don’t be afraid to spend some time and be creative because with practice, you’ll be able to come up with personal compliments on the spot!

For more examples read Best 100 Compliments For a GIRLFRIEND.

But let’s not forget about teasing her! Here are some great examples:

  1. You are such a spoiled brat!
  2. You deserve a spanking
  3. Oh’ gosh, you like that movie! We are officially BFF’s
  4. Tell me when you finish writing a song about me
  5. If you keep texting me I’ll ruin your innocence 😈
  6. Sorry, I’m not OK with a sexy hookup tonight 😜
  7. We’ve just met and you’re already wet!

By following these steps in this order, you are making her regret her rejection of you and she’s starting to see you as a sexual partner.

9. Start to show her love

She’s hearing about you from her friends, seeing all the fun you’re having in your life and hearing the sweetest compliments from you.

Now it’s time to raise the level of intimacy with her, but how? By using the power of touch.

Don’t touch her like a creep, but rather as you talk to her, hold her hand or caress her arm in a loving way.

But remember: take this slow! You’ve already failed once, so don’t rush this time!

By strategically caressing her, you’re making her body release a hormone called Oxytocin. This Oxytocin will make her feel love, trust and warm feelings for you.

You want to get her high on Oxytocin!

Once your girl is officially OK with holding hands, you are practically out of the friend zone. But you aren’t her boyfriend until you can kiss and sleep with her which is why we need the next 2 steps…

10. Learn how to tell if a girl likes you

You want to kiss her and take her home, but you aren’t sure if she really likes you, that’s why you need to check if she has any of the signs of a girl that likes you:

  1. She’s laughing at your jokes
  2. She tries to hold your hand
  3. She always makes time to spend time with you

And if she makes herself look especially hot around you, you can be sure that she’s trying to attract you. Let me give you some examples:

  1. She always has her nails done around you
  2. Does a pro job with her makeup
  3. She’s reveals more of her body to you

She’s doing it to allure you, why not give in? Now you are ready for the final step:

11. Make the bold move

Congratulations my friend, she likes you, but how can you close the deal and stay out of the friend zone for good? Kiss her well!

But how do you kiss a girl well?

Start by having a fun conversation alone with her, start touching her and in a moment of silence look into her eyes and kiss her.

Pretty simple, right? It’s always going to be a little scary when you lean in for the kiss, but don’t wait because there will never be a perfect time to kiss a girl. Just do it!

This is also true for sleeping with her for the first time. When you are ready to go down on her, follow the same rules and then go for it.


I know this journey is going to be very difficult for you. I know how it feels to get rejected, I’ve been rejected more times than you can imagine!

But that doesn’t mean that you need to give in to the friend zone. There is no reason to give up. Attracting the sexiest women doesn’t need to be difficult for you.

Just start taking action and putting yourself out there. You are an attractive man, women will desire you.

When I was in your situation I didn’t just rely on my own motivation and skills, instead I got myself a seduction course called The Collection of Confidence by Hypnotica.

Now I know what you are thinking “why should I invest in a program like that when I don’t know anything about it?!”

That’s a perfectly fair question and I have 2 answers for you.

  1. Trust me, the course changed MY life
  2. He has a 90 minute video going through everything you need to know about the creator and the course itself

I say you take action now, go watch the video and start succeeding with 100’s of exotic women.

Your friend,

Colt Smith

  • Hey man thanks for the post. I’ve been stuck in the friend zone too long now and I need to get out so thanks for motivation and clear instructions for what to do. I’ll get to work and let you know how it all worked out!

  • All due respect, if a guy told me he was manipulating how I see him in order to “control me” better, I’d start running. That’s scary. In fact, lots of those statements would turn me way off. Being mean/an ass is not attractive. And plenty of women go for men their friends don’t approve of, are you kidding me?

    • I’m not sure what manipulation you’re referring to!

      Here’s the list of steps I cover in this guide:

      1. Let go of the rejection
      2. Don’t talk with her for 3 weeks
      3. Understand why you got rejected
      4. Get over the fear of rejection
      5. Become more masculine
      6. Make friends with all of her girl friends
      7. Have tons of fun
      8. Complement and tease her
      9. Start to show her love
      10. Learn how to tell if a girl likes you
      11. Make the bold move

      How are any of these “asshole” or “manipulative” moves?

      In fact, I’d argue the other way around:

      Getting men to understand what they did wrong & how they need to improve themselves (#’s 1, 2, 3, 4) is exactly what they need to hear.

      In regards to your last statement:

      “And plenty of women go for men their friends don’t approve of, are you kidding me?”

      In general, I agree, but these aren’t steps every man HAS to follow. These techniques can IMPROVE your chances of getting out of the friend zone. Nothing is guaranteed.



  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

    My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

    Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

    17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

    How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work