Get Girls To Chase You: 14 Techniques I Use [With Examples]

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If we’re being strictly practical here, you could always steal her purse…. But I don’t think that’s what you came here to learn 🙂

You’re here to learn how to make her feel so much unleashed, animalistic desire for you that she can’t help but run after you and chase you down. 

example of a girl running after a guy

And don’t worry. You’re about to learn exactly that!

1. Have a super exciting life

Guys to have things going on in their lives in order to make girls feel any sort of attraction.

This doesn’t mean you need to be traveling the world 3 times every year, it just means you need to have an exciting life, for example:

  1. 1
    Part of a local sports team
  2. 2
    Woodworking hobby
  3. 3
    Running a busy local business
  4. 4
    Have a passion for motorcycle riding
  5. 5
    Take part in boxing fights weekly
woodworking, as seen in this picture, as a hobby that girls find very attractive in guys

It should come at no surprise that if you are trying to get your ex-girlfriend to chase you back, the first thing you need to focus on is making your life so fun that girls would have to be crazy not to want to be part of it.

2. Give her drama 

No, I didn’t say trauma, I said drama. Girls need drama.

Say it again! Girls need drama. 

They need to feel all sorts of emotions all day, every day:

  1. Interest.
  2. Joy.
  3. Surprise.
  4. Sadness.
  5. Anger.
  6. Disgust.
  7. Contempt.
  8. Self-hostility. [1]

Use the following picture for reference 🙂

girls need to feel all sorts of emotions - as seen drawn on these eggs - in order to chase after a guy

Good and bad.

Women need to feel all of them in order to feel alive and well in a relationship - this is part of the reason why girls love bad boys.

So here are some general rules to follow:

  1. 1
    Never try to bandage your girl if she’s feeling sad, just love her and let her flow through the emotion
  2. 2
    Never get reactive if she’s angry, again - just let her flow through her own emotional drama 
  3. 3
    Casually mess with her plans that she spend hours trying to plan out just to get her a little crazy
  4. 4
    If she’s crying over something small, just laugh in a playful way, treat her like she’s your little sister

The key here is chaotic drama. And as illogical as it sounds, if you don’t give it to her, she’ll find it somewhere else.

Be the man that makes her feel alive. 

3. Overpower her with your masculinity

Let’s start with this small lesson:

Money cannot get a girl to chase after you with genuine desire

Only badass, masculine energy can do that for you.

I think most guys can agree with this statement and what I’d like to add here is that the best way to exude that sexy energy is by overpowering her with your pure masculinity.

So what exactly does that mean:

  1. 1
    Be physically bigger than her - yes, girls prefer muscular guys
  2. 2
    Always be the one to “hold the frame” in the conversation (see: 16 steps to start a conversation with a girl with examples
  3. 3
    Teasingly push her over or pin her against the wall (for all you socially uncalibrated guys out there, ONLY do this if she’s already into you)
  4. 4
    If she’s talking too much, start to obviously stop listening or even plan your finger on her lips as if to say “that’s enough!”
  5. 5
    If she mentions something about how smart she is, just laugh it off playfully
girls want to chase guys that can overpower then physically

If you haven’t noticed yet, in this section we’re going back to the basics of attraction: 

You, as the man, must be dominant, and she, as the woman, is submissive to you. This is the way it’s meant to be and this is the only way she ever runs after you.

So again, 

Overpower her with your masculinity (especially in bed, as seen in the following picture).

physically overpower as seen in the picture is the single most potent to get a girl to chase you

4. Tease her looks and appeal

You don’t want her to slowly and comfortably fall in love with you, you want to make her totally crazy about you fast, right? 

This means you need to introduce some discomfort, some tension.

What do I mean specifically?

Learn to tease her looks, examples:

  1. 1
    Tell her that her outfit doesn’t quite fit her
  2. 2
    Tell her that you don’t think her new hairstyle is any better
  3. 3
    If you’re sitting together, compare her to a hotter girl walking by
  4. 4
    Tell her that you wish she was looked different in some minor way

Once you do this, she won’t know what to do with herself! All the nice guys have always been singing love poems to her and here you come along and smash her ego in!

So let’s put on our x-ray goggles and see what currently going through her subconscious mind:

If he isn’t scared to talk to me like a bad boy, then he must be the guy getting all the pussy, and if he’s getting all the girls, I want to get with him too.

Crazy? Yes. Illogical? Yes. But that’s how the female mind works. 

Bottom line:

Learn to be the bad boy and tease her looks and appeal.

5. Make a girl chase you by ignoring her

This technique only works if she’s initially attracted to you and you’re having regular conversations, otherwise you’ll end up like this video…

So assuming that she has initial attraction to you, here’s how you make a girl chase you by playing hard to get:

  1. Leave her on read
  2. Make date plans but show up late or last minute cancel them
  3. Never outright admit that you like her
  4. Have long conversations, but disappear suddenly
  5. Play with her deeper insecurities (whatever you can sniff out, but be gentle)
  6. Tell her that you have no time for her then casually mention that you were with another girl

And #8, my favorite, don’t talk to her for a weekend and when she asks you where you were, casually tell her that you were out having fun with friends.

This tells her that she’s not more important than your day to day activities and the good news is that girls feel aroused by guys with high standards like that. 

6. Have massive social proof

The next thing that really makes girls nuts about a guy is… massive social proof.

OK, but what is social proof in the context of dating?

Where you prove to a girl that you are already desirable as a man by showing how many friends you have and/or all the girls that already love you.

And because “women want a guy that other guys want to be and girls want to fuck,” social proof literally gives her reptilian mind every reason to do anything to get with you.

So what are some ways to display this magical social proof?

  1. Bring friends along when approaching women
  2. Talking about how busy you are with you friends
  3. Tell her all about the dates you’ve been on with other women
  4. Tell her how much other girls bother you and steal all your time away
  5. Purposefully meet up with other girlfriends on your dates

This method works best with gemini women as they are naturally super social creatures and respond very well to social proof (the following video explains this quite well)

7. Have a big online presence

There are 2 reasons why being internet famous can be your key to having women run after you:

  • It is a massive source of social proof, millions of people love you!
  • It tells women (who recognize you on social media) that you’re a hot guy - women don’t even know who you are, why would they run after you?

Of course, social media is not the only way to become famous, it can be anything. For example, Rollo Tomassi first became a guitar player in a rock band to get that same effect. 

It’s no exaggeration to say that women will sell their soul to be with a high value, alpha male

And no, I cannot help you become internet famous, because, well, I am not internet famous! But if this is something that appeals to you, I guess building a YouTube channel is a good place to start. 

8. Show her your burning desire

Well start with the great words of Robert Greene from his masterpiece, The Art of Seduction:

“A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive. The Rake is a great female fantasy figure – when he desires a woman, brief though that moment might be, he will go to the ends of the earth for her.”

Women want to feel your desire from them. They want to feel how horny they make you feel. They want to know what you’re willing to do for them. They want to know how much they grab your attention.

That is the deepest fantasy of women and if you can fulfill it, she won’t have the choice but to feel a burning desire for you.

So… how? What are the steps? 

Here are some basic guidelines:

  1. Don’t be afraid of your testosterone 
  2. Be vocal of how your girl makes you feel
  3. Get out to meet her when it’s a risk for you, for example, her parents are in the house (not in a needy way!)
  4. Don’t delay your desire for her, if you’re with your girlfriend in the elevator, kiss her even if something may walk right in on you

As you can tell, I can’t give you 10 steps to being an alpha male because this is a mindset, but if you follow these guidelines, you’ll soon internalize the mindset. 

9. Show her your opinions 

Girls feel sexually attracted to guys with opinions that differ with hers. It makes them horny.


It shows her that you don’t care to offend her which tells her hindbrain that you’re a high value male otherwise you wouldn't dare mess with her. 

I agree, this doesn’t make much sense, but again, we’re dealing with her hindbrain, not the rational mind.

If a girl started to piss me off, I wouldn’t horny! I would tell her to get the f*ck away from me.

But that’s how it works anyways, so use it to your advantage. 

10. Tell her that she’s not enough for you 

I once heard that the best way to get a blowjob is to tell her that you’ve never been able to cum from a blowjob.

Why? Why the hell would a woman be more likely to suck your dick after telling her that she probably can’t even please you!?

Hint: it’s the same reason why girls like bad boys who aren’t afraid to argue with them, break their heart, and have opinions.


OK, let me spell it out for you.

By telling a girl that she’s not enough for you - sexually - you are telling her that you’ve been with some seriously hot girls and that she’s just not enough for you. This in turn tells her hindbrain that you must be the real deal, a true alpha male which means she can’t afford to lose an opportunity with you.

And bang! Now she’s running after you to give you a blowjob.

Bottom line:

Get into the habit of insinuating to girls that you are dating that they are not enough for you and that they must qualify themselves if they want a chance with you.

11. Give over-the-top compliments

There are 2 general types of compliments:

  1. You give the compliment to win her over
  2. You give the compliment to purposefully flatter her without being emotionally attached

We are referring to compliment #2.

OK, but what does that do for you?

It makes girls  - especially shy/gemini/cancer girls - know that you are interested, aren’t afraid to flirt and wait for her to make her move. 

You: “Girl, you are so beautiful. Your hair, your nose, your lips – they’re all so perfect. It’s so enchanting just staring into your deep, dark eyes – I could do it all day.”

At this point you… wait. Silence until she makes her move to win you over. 

This technique is best for parties, but can be used when “cold approaching” on the street as long as you have other obvious attractive qualities. 

12. Dangle a carrot in front of her

She needs a guarantee that her efforts to get with you will eventually pay off. I

Here are some ways to reward her:

  1. Give her a quick kiss her on the forehead
  2. Unexpectedly take her out for a super fun date
  3. Have sex, but ignore her for a day or 2 without reason
  4. Give her you entire attention 

But remember, these are only momentary rewards, the moment you give in, the seduction is already gone. 

To keep her crazy about you, she must stay at arms length. 

13. Do not be boyfriend material

Now that you know what to do, let’s talk about the #1 thing you must avoid:

Appearing like boyfriend material.


Because girls make boyfriends wait for sex while they are f*cking the jerks. 

Why is that?

Because there are 2 separate sources of attraction/arousal: 

  1. Being seen as a provider/ protection - the boyfriend dynamic
  2. Being seen as a source of good genetics - the jerk dynamic

You can’t get both, so you better pick one. And if you ever want to know what raw, animaslitic sex feels like, I’d advise you pick #2.

So now that the underlying explanation is clear, here are some things nice boyfriends do that you better avoid:

  1. Asking her where she wants to go for dinner
  2. Buying her presents
  3. Apologizing for hurting her feelings
  4. Getting out of your way to pedestalize her

I know this has probably broken your idealistic, Disney-like view of what women want from men, but once you try these techniques, you’ll never look back.

14. How to make a girl chase you over text

Lastly, what are some ways to get a girl to chase you over-text?

Well, the principles stay the same, but here are some quick tips:

  1. Be overly excited in a flirty way - so are we having 12 or 13 kids?
  2. Tell her about your big online presence than ignore her for a couple hours
  3. Tease her about her looks/ profile pic
  4. If she has a weird name, joke about that too

But most importantly, get off text and in person as fast as you can. 

Before you get your first date with her, you’re just another notification to her and your chances of getting ghosted just get higher. 


I bet you've learned a lot from this article, but I'd argue that the biggest lesson here is that “treating a girl right” won’t get her wet for you. It just won’t.

It takes a “testonorized man” that isn’t afraid of pissing her off to do the trick.

Good luck!

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work