How To Avoid The Friend Zone In 10 Definitive Steps

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Learning how to avoid the friend zone is actually way simpler than you could ever imagine, the 10 steps that I have for you here are guaranteed to work.

But right before we get into this, I must be fair to give credit and tell you that most of the ideas in this post comes from a book called The Flow by Dan Bacon.

Dan Bacon has a YouTube channel with over 300,000 subscribers and makes videos like this one:

The book that he’s written is all about teaching men how to get laid, friends with benefits or even a girlfriend.

He has solid techniques for creating sexual tension, building on her feelings for you and doing much, much more. Go check out his book, but first read this article!

1. Find someone who’s at your level

When people say that “she’s out of my league” they are right and there is such a thing as being too low in social status for a girl.

You know the feeling when you see a girl that has all the friends and you can’t figure out how to get in her friend group – that girl is out of your league. 

I’m not saying that you’ll never be able to get her, but you’ll need to do self-work and improve your social skills. 

Think about it, did you ever have a friend in your life that was more confident than you? I can be quite sure that most of your friends were about as confident as you.

So by picking a girl that’s at your level in the first place will make you feel comfortable and it’s an easy way of avoiding the friend zone.

2. Approach women that are like you

This is more of a continuation of the last step, but this step is more about personality. 

What type of guy are you? Are you an agreeable person or can you easily have an argument about anything? 

There’s another big aspect to personalities called neuroticism. It’s the degree that you worry about things. Find a girl that mirrors you in that area.

This should come as a great relief for you because you don’t have to change who you are. You can get girls being the person you are now!

I’m saying that if you want to avoid being friend-zoned you better stay clear of girls that don’t match with you. [1, 2]

3. Learn seduction

This makes me laugh because seduction is such a massive subject. Learning seduction is huge, but it’s one of the most important skills you may ever learn in your life.

Being seductive is the ultimate weapon against the friend zone. I mean it’s the number one way to get a girl to kiss you and make her spread her legs inviting you in.

There are an unlimited amount of books to learn seduction, but the real key is knowing how to learn seduction and there are 2 ways that I recommend:

The first way is getting yourself a seduction course and a coach to make you take action so that you practice over and over until you can get any girl that you want on your own.

For that I recommend The Rise of The Phoenix by Sebastian Harris because he also offers exclusive VIP Whatsapp 1-on-1 coaching which will not only be perfect for you, but will also fit your budget.

The second method of learning seduction is by getting a course that will teach you attraction from the beginning till the end, including all the theory and the practical steps.

The course that I am talking about is The Tao of Badass by Joshua Pellicer. The course will literally teach you everything you need.

You will even learn how to use your body when you approach a woman to make her feel submissive to you. You will absolutely learn everything that you could imagine.

But Joshua Pellicer doesn’t offer any sort of coaching. So this would be perfect for you if you can approach women on your own, but you are looking to improve.

In my journey I started with Sebastian’s, The Rise of the Phoenix with the coaching, and after I got laid a couple times I invested in The Tao of Badass and took it to the next level.

Whichever path you take, your game will improve and the idea of getting put in the friend zone won’t enter any girl’s mind because they will be so into you.

4. Being funny

Being put in the friend zone happens when she doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you. But here’s an easy way getting a girl turned on

Make her laugh.

It’s that simple. Studies have shown that women are attracted to men that can make them laugh and interestingly enough, men are attracted to women that find their jokes funny.

But how can you be funny around girls? Just laugh at the ridiculous things of life. Being funny is about not taking things too seriously.

I had an old teacher that once said “life’s not a joke, but what’s life without a joke.” He was right. As soon as you stop taking everything so seriously and personally, you’ll start finding funny in everything.

5. Never fear rejection

Like I said earlier avoiding the friend zone is about making her sexually attracted to you, and here’s another weapon to make her soaking wet:

Stop caring what other people think and release the fear of rejection. Once you do that women will come to you.

Women are biologically wired to have sex with a man that doesn’t care about rejection. It shows that he’s a real man and that excites her.

But what can you do to get rid of the fear of rejection?

The first thing you do is accept your own feelings. Accept where you are. Denial is a one way street to being miserable.

After you fully accept your level and take responsibility, start listening to your own self-talk. Ask yourself how you talk to yourself when you get rejected.

Chances are that you berate yourself whenever you get rejected and that’s why you fear it so much. You are the one causing all the fear.

Take action and change that self-talk.

But of course the last crucial step is to meet and approach women on a daily basis. Nothing is better for your confidence than doing that.

And like I said, get yourself a course and start spreading some legs!

6. Be sexual with women

I don’t even need to explain why this is the most important part of avoiding the friend zone…

Don’t wait to start getting sexual when you’re trying to get out of the friend zone. Start getting sexual right away!

But how can you be sexual with women? An easy trick for this is to make her feel sexual, do that by making her feel as girly as possible.

Let her sink deeply in her pleasurable femininity. Tell her how much she sexually attracts you, for example:

  1. Your lips make you irresistibly sexy
  2. Your lips are so sensual
  3. I love how you touch your face
  4. Your legs are perfect
  5. Your eyes make me lose control
  6. The way you walk makes me hard

Think of these as sexual compliments. You are telling her how much she attracts you, that way you are getting sexual.

After following this step I challenge you to try to get into the friend zone! The only place she’ll let you in is herself!

7. Get passionate about life

Getting out of the friend zone isn’t about doing it fast through texting, it’s about transforming your life.

Don’t wait for the time that you are hitting on the girl and she rejects you sending you straight to the friend zone. Start changing yourself now so that she can’t resist you…

The first step is to get passionate about life. 

Most people don’t even know what makes them happy, that’s why I took this (7 dollar!) course that gave me the gift of knowing what I love to do. I live a happy life now.

When you are happy with your life women are happy with you. Find your purpose!

But I have something else for you… I found this video online by my mentor who taught me how to earn a 6 figure income online. 

This 2 hour long video should still be free of charge and will teach you everything you need to know about starting your own online business. Why am I telling you this?

Because while you are passionate about starting a business, women will be passionate about you. Time and time again women tell me that they love an ambitious man.

So whatever you do, be happy with yourself and you’ll never find yourself in the friend zone. [3, 4]

8. Exude your masculinity

The first step of accepting your masculinity is realizing that women are sexually attracted to masculinity.

I know this sounds obvious to you, but you’d be surprised with the amount of men that think women desire beauty, kindness and femininity.

Because we men find a girl’s looks so attractive we think that girls want the same from us. We think that women desire good looking guys.

But that’s not true, of course “good looks” help, but they are not the source of her attraction. And that is definitely not the way to stay out of the friend zone.

Girls desire masculinity. She wants to feel that you are more powerful than her. She wants you to be smarter and dominate her.

She wants to feel that you have full control of yourself and that you aren’t afraid of rejection, bugs, or women!

When a girl sees a man that looks masculine her body makes her feel an irresistible attraction to you. I know it’s tempting, but stop thinking that looks are what makes girls wet and horny.

That’s why women test men, they want to know how masculine they are. She’ll start complaining about the dumbest thing to see if you give in and get emotional.

How do you deal with them? Laugh at her tests, act as if they didn’t exist. And most of all continue loving her.

When you first approach a girl she might immediately test you and by telling you that she’s only looking for a friend. In that case just tell her with a smile that you’re a virgin looking for a friend too.

9. Stop being nice

This is also a part of masculinity. This is about NO MORE Mr. Nice Guy. 

Here’s the part that most guys don’t get: there’s nothing wrong with being kind. Giving other people goodness is a good thing!

But being nice means you’re doing them a favor because you are looking for approval. That’s toxic kindness.

When you are being masculine there’s no reason to disrespect women. Women deserve respect as much as you do, but stop being “nice” around them.

When she asks you to do something for her, ask yourself if you’re doing it for attention and approval. If you are, drop it right away. You are not her slave.

Realize that you have a choice not to allow yourself to be pushed around all the time. Figure out what’s important to you and make decisions.

There’s a great book about this topic called No More Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. Pick it up if you get the chance.

10. Be clear right away

Of course the best way to avoid this whole problem is by being clear right away. The moment you approach a girl whether it’s at the gym or the bar you make it clear that you are looking for a romantic or sexual connection.

If you are still a beginner the best way to do this is by telling her outright. Tell her what you want, are you looking for a friend, hookup or a serious relationship?

Obviously you aren’t looking for a platonic friendship, so tell this girl what you want. You’d be surprised, but many women are totally fine with friends with benefits or a one night stand.

Being clear about what you desire makes you look confident, gets you laid, but it also will prevent any future heartbreaks. 

You might be thinking that you’ve been having a friends with benefits situation for a year while she thinks she’s been dating you and has deep feelings for you. 

And when you “break up” with her she’ll have a massive heartbreak. Don’t do that, instead by clear with all women about what you want.

Remember if you aren’t being clear to her you aren’t being truthful to yourself. Accept what type of person you are and your desires and go after them shamelessly.


I’ve given you ten broad techniques to stay out of the friend zone forever and you might be asking why did I start telling you about getting passionate about life when you’re just avoiding the friend zone?

Because avoiding the friend zone is about becoming a new person and not doing some quick fix. 

You’ll often find that how you do one thing is how you do everything. If your health is messed up you’ll probably find that your dating life is too.

But I’ve also given you hope. I’ve recommended many courses and free video presentations that have transformed my own life.

Go ahead, take massive action now, pick one program and start working hard. You have unlimited potential.

  • Ah’ it looks like I just found a goldmine of info here. thanks for the recommendations I definitely will take action — best of luck to every man struggling with the friend zone!!!!!!!!

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    About the author 

    Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

    Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

    My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

    Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

    17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

    How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work