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How to Ask for a Second Date: 13 Steps to Get a Second Date

You want to ask a girl for a second date? You want to ask a guy for a second date? You came to the right place because in this post I will teach you everything about getting a second date!

Whether it be in person or over text, you will always get the dates you want. So without further ado, let’s get started:

1. Know where you want to go for the second date

“Hey, you’re super cute, let me take you out sometime again!”


“Uh’ didn’t quite think about that, let me get back to you”

I call this the: You Don’t Know, You Don’t Get Principle.

Before you ask anyone for a date, have an idea of where you want to go. Preferably several options so that if one place doesn’t work out, you’ve always got plan B.

It also helps to tell your girl where you want to go for the second date because then she knows what she’s agreeing to.

If you have an awesome second date idea, such as a concert, most girls would be totally convinced to go out with you. But if you just ask her “wanna go out again,” chances are she won’t be that interested.

2. Ask in a confident way

Before we talk about what to say/ how to ask/ when to ask, it’s important you understand a core principle of dating:

Confidence is king. Guys and girls with confidence always get the dates they want and when they want.

If you don’t have confidence with girls or guys, I suggest you find yourself a training to build your sexy confidence because there’s nothing more repulsive than being needy.

By building your confidence with these courses, you are becoming someone that people want to date a second time. Here are some tips to get you started:

  1. Remember that there no such thing as being “out of your league”
  2. Don’t make dating such a big deal
  3. You are likable the way you are
  4. There are always many other beautiful people that would be happy to date you

Don’t hide yourself any longer. Let the real you stand up and start dating your crush!

example of second date

3. Asking a guy for a second date

Most of this article is written to help men get a second date with a woman, but I can’t leave the girls out!

So here’s what I learnt from The Devotion System – Make Men Obsess Over You and this is more than enough to help any girl get a second date with the guy she truly loves:

  1. Show your attraction to his so that he feels comfortable asking you for a second date
  2. Be interested in his hobbies
  3. Be curious about who he is
  4. Be girly, don’t try to seem too “manly” because you’ll end up making him feel like a girl
  5. Let him feel like a man, don’t start talking about all of your accomplishments (guys hate feeling less accomplished around girls)
  6. Kiss on the first date (no guy will ever turn down a second date after a good kiss!)
  7. Look attractive
  8. Tease him so that he needs to ask you out
  9. Get to the first date on time to show that you’re serious
  10. Don’t be on your phone throughout the entire first date

And of course, #11, ask him directly. It’s really great when your man has the confidence to ask you out, but sometimes you gotta put in the work to get with the man you like. [1, 2]

4. When to ask for a second date

Everyone is desperate to know “how soon should I ask for a second date?” and here’s the answer: as soon as possible!

The longer you wait, the longer your date will forget about you and all the fun you just had on your first date. In fact, I recommend guys set up their second date on their first date which leads us right into step 5…

5. Explain why you want the second date

So you’re sitting on the first date, having tons of fun, but the conversation is getting boring. What can you talk about on the first date?

Well because your girl is already having fun with you and she’s definitely attracted to you, so what’s better than talking about what you’ll do together on your second date?

Here are some great second date ideas:

  1. Farmers market
  2. Go karting
  3. Movies
  4. Trampoline Parks
  5. Shooting range

And there you have it, before you even finish your first date, you’ve already gotten a second date! What better way to end off a first date? [2, 3]

asking for a second date

6. Don’t ask in a needy way

I know you’re a confident guy, but being needy is a trap that too many guys fall into so I must bring it up again.

Even if the girl you’re dating looks so perfect and beautiful that you feel intimidated, you have no excuse to act needy in the relationship. You must act like you’re the prize.

Don’t ask her if she wants to “hang out again” because that sounds like you only want a platonic relationship. You’ll end up in the friend zone and good luck with that!

Instead, compliment her, show your attraction to her and ask her out. Period. Don’t make it a big deal.

7. Get a second date without asking

I actually recommend guys get a second date without asking, but how does that work? You suggest going to a restaurant or other venue. For example:

“You’re the cutest girl, let’s meet up Friday night at Connaught Bar.”

You aren’t waiting for her approval. You are just going for it, showing your masculine confidence and most of the time, girls will be happy to come along.

Here’s another example:

“I love spending time with you, you know what? Since we both love painting, why don’t we check out the art museum Saturday night?”

You are telling her how much you enjoyed your first date, establishing what you have in common and how much more fun you could have together. Who would say no to an offer like that? [4, 5]

8. Don’t force the second date

When you ask her for the date, never force it. Don’t spend your time trying to convince her to come along. The less you care about getting the date, the more likely you are to get the date.

If you notice she’s not interested, just come back a different time when she’s in a better mood.

9. Use humor

I should’ve made this number one, but what can I say? I got too carried away…

At the end of the day, being witty is the best way of getting a date. Period. Showing a girl your level of social intelligence and sense of humor is soooo sexy.

You don’t have to be a super good looking model to get dates, being a funny guy and making your girl laugh is enough to make any girl wet.

I’m not even such a good looking guy, yet I can’t even tell you how many girls have admitted that my sense of humor is what got them into my bed.

Here are some examples:


  • You also drink water!? Damn, we have too much in common, why don’t we just get married now? Oh’ OK, a 2nd date is enough for me!
  • If you look at me like that again I’ll be forced to ask you out for a 2nd date!
  • We have so many options for a 2nd date: we could practice jump rope, build sand castles or play in the mud. You choose!


Bottom line: be funny and playful.

10. Don’t make your second date too serious

Making everything so formal by making her show up at exactly 9pm at this-and-this restaurant is too much. Dating is supposed to be fun, not some serious business interrogation!

Instead, ask her out by simply inviting her to something that you’re already doing, for example:

  1. You’re a cool girl, I’ll be heading to the beach tomorrow, come if you like!
  2. Free tickets to the NFL game on Monday, I know you can’t resist!
  3. Crazy party at Daniella’s house tonight, comin?

You are showing her that you have a life, enjoy life and have things going on. By inviting her out this way, you are sharing your awesome life with her.

11. Asking for a second date over text

Usually I recommend you get the second date in person because it shows your confidence which makes girls more likely to accept your offer, but sometimes texting is just easier, so here are the steps you take:

  1. Tell her how much you enjoyed the first date: “I had the best time with you”
  2. Complement her: “Your red lips were tempting me in the most naughty ways”
  3. Show your humor: “You better hope that I don’t make you miss too many classes!”
  4. Suggest a venue and a time: “You’re a cool girl, I’ll be heading to the beach tomorrow, come if you like!”

After sending this text, don’t send anything else. If she doesn’t respond, leave it. She’s not interested. If she agrees then you better get ready to have even more fun!

12. Don’t be disrespectful if she rejects your offer

Just because you had fun on the first date, doesn’t mean she did. It happens. Not every girl is meant to be with you and like I mentioned, if she ghosts you, let it be.

Never chase girls that aren’t interested and never, ever get angry or emotional because it only shows how insecure and fragile you are.

My best advice is to move on. Learn how to ask girls out and date even more girls because eventually you’ll end up with one that loves you for who you are.

13. Why you can’t get a second date

Some guys have lost hope and ask themselves “will I ever get a second date” or “why can’t I ever get a second date…”

And it’s true, when you get rejected by 10’s of girls, over and over, it ruins your morale. It’s easy to lose hope. But you must remember:

Girls don’t like you because you don’t have confidence and good social skills and the only way to get better is with practice. Every time a girl says no, she’s just telling you what doesn’t work.

If you keep working at it and stop taking no for an answer, you will make it.

And by the way, I recommended different courses earlier by some very talented dating coaches, if that appeals to you, why don’t you go check them out? I am sure they can help you.


At the end of the day, it’s great to hear people talking about later dates because it shows you figured out first dates, you might even know how to kiss a girl on the first date! Congratulations!

If you’ve figured that out, I guarantee you, nothing can stop you. Just believe in yourself and I’m sure you’ll do just fine!

Your friend,

Colt Smith

One Response

  1. edward 03/08/2020

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