10 rejection-proof ways to tell or ask a girl for a kiss

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Within the next 5 minutes you’ll know exactly how to tell a girl you want to kiss her and how to ask any girl for a kiss. 

You’ll know exactly what to say, what to do and how to do it so that girls never reject you again!

I spend a lot of time researching to put this post together so that you get all the examples you need, but more importantly, this post is based on my experiences and failures so that you get the most practical tips.


1. When to ask a girl for a kiss

Before you learn what to say, you need to know when to say it! Here are the times when you should and should not move in for a kiss:

There is sexual tension

You’ll know what sexual tension is when you feel it. 

Once you feel sexual tension, don’t hesitate, just ask her because she’s already dying to kiss you!

She likes you

I know what you’re thinking: how the hell am I supposed to know if a girl likes me?

You’re asking some good questions, and although I’ve already written an entire post about this subject, titled 9 ways to tell if a girl likes you, I’m gonna quote the ultimate dating coach, Joshua Pellicer:

A productive way to use this ability is to examine a woman’s eye accessing cues to determine if she is being emotionally associative with you. 

For example, one of the biggest indicators that someone wants to kiss you is an eye accessing cue combination called triangulation. 

Triangulation, as you might have guessed, is a combination of three eye movements. 

When you are in the final stages of rapport, you might notice the woman staring at your mouth while you’re talking.

Looking down at your mouth will access her emotions, and then associate those emotions with looking at your mouth. 

Oftentimes, she will then consciously look up in an attempt to avoid seeming desperate, and will then catch your eyes. 

Looking directly into one eye and then the other will make her feel overwhelmed with emotions, so she’ll revert her gaze back to your mouth and then repeat the pattern. 

Switching back and forth in this manner results in her eyes forming a triangular pattern. 

When you see this happening with a girl you should go for a kiss immediately, unless some other, more important circumstance is stopping you (like it’s your friend’s girlfriend!). 

Wondering what you should say and how you actually go in for the kiss? 

The best approach I’ve found is just to be direct. 

Call her out on it by saying “It’s okay.” When she asks “What’s okay?” say “You can kiss me, I want to kiss you too….”

…The reason it works as well as it does is that I give acceptance to the woman by showing her that I’m interested as well. 

By saying “It’s okay, I want to kiss you too” you make her feel like she’s not putting herself out on a limb and facing the possibility of rejection. 

Rejection is everyone’s biggest fear, whether you’re a man or a woman, so it’s important to make people feel safe with you. 

If you eliminate that fear, then you eliminate pretty much any hesitation a woman might have about kissing you. It’s an incredibly simple and powerful technique.

So there you have it! Now you know when to ask a girl for a kiss and exactly what to say!

This quote comes from Joshua Pellicer’s ultimate seduction training: The Tao of Badass: Everything You Have To Know To Be A Complete Badass With Women.

(FYI: his training costs about as much as a new pair of shoes and you’ll learn how to seduce girls, build confidence and have the best sex of your life. Investing in his course was the tipping point of my sex life and I highly recommend you make the same decision.)

asking a girl to kiss you at the right time

She’s drunk

Sure, telling a girl that you want to kiss her while she’s drunk might get you a kiss or 2, but you’ll be left feeling super awkward around her for the next week.

You don’t want her thinking that you took advantage of her while she wasn’t fully functional!

If you both always wanted to kiss, but felt too uncomfortable – kissing while she’s drunk is OK. but otherwise I’d play it safe. [1, 2]

never ask a girl to kiss you if she's drunk like this

You’re in the friend zone

If you’re in the friend zone with this girl, do not try to get out of there with a kiss. It won’t work, she will shoot you down and you’ll feel like an idiot for trying.

Remember: she put you in the friend zone because she doesn’t want to have a romantic relationship with you!

So here’s what you should do instead: read my guide to escaping the friend zone, take the necessary actions and once you’re ready, go in for the kiss!

[irp posts=”1656″ name=”When to KISS a Girl: The 9 Prime Times”]

2. Ask her for a kiss indirectly 

Asking a girl for a kiss in a super obvious way is like asking a girl if you could throw a surprise party for her… [3]

But then how are you supposed to ask for a kiss? Simple, ask her in an indirect manner. For example:

  1. Ask her to close her eyes and tell her that you promise not to kiss her. If she smiles, kiss her right then and there!
  2. Look at her lips with a look of desire and tell her that she’s got something on her mouth and offer to clean it up!
  3. Tell her “give me a minute” as if you’re about to leave, but turn around and kiss her
  4. Ask her a random question about herself and while she’s answering, cut her off with a hot kiss
  5. Tell her “If only you knew how much I love the sight of your lips!” while inching towards her lips

And by the way, these examples also work to create sexual tension so you get a free bonus!

3. Telling her in a confident way that you want to kiss

Remember this one rule: girls NEVER want to see you doubt yourself. Period. 

Any hesitation is a sign of neediness and girls hate that which is way you’re about to learn how to tell a girl you want to kiss her in the most bold, masculine way:

  1. Take full control of her. Put both of your hands behind her head, bring her towards you and kiss. (Let her boobs press against you.)
  2. Hey! [wait for a moment of silence, lock eyes] and kiss
  3. Pull her in by her chin by placing your thumb on top of her chin and the rest of your fingers behind her chin until your lips meet
  4. Boldly pull her in by her hips and lean in
  5. Dim the lights, tell her “I need your soft lips” and ravish her
  6. Lightly, yet firmly grab her by the throat, slightly choking her, and do whatever you want to her face. (Always choke her by her breathing and not her blood flow, otherwise, you’ll give her serious anxiety.) [4]
  7. Pin her hands above her head while pressing yourself against her boobs and kiss her good
  8. While she’s lying beside you in bed, grab her hips and flip her over to kiss her. (Sudden aggressiveness is hot. Do it like you’ve been thinking about her all night)
  9. Grab her butt and kiss her neck/ ears, then spin her around and kiss her good
  10. While your lying down in bed beside her, pull her on top of you so that she’s dry humping you and kiss
  11. Pick her up by her thighs so that she wraps her legs around your waist and while taking her to your bed, kiss. (Let her feel your boner. Every girl wants to feel sexy and that she turned you on.)
  12. Place one hand on her neck while sliding your fingers through her hair and with your other hand pull her in by her waist until her lips meet yours
  13. Pin her up against the wall and kiss. You’d be surprised about how many girls like being pushed up against a wall. (This works best in public, e.g. an elevator, because it adds to the fear of getting caught.)
  14. Run your fingers across her jawline while holding her head with your other hand and kiss
  15. While her back is facing you, run your hands through her hair and pull her in by the roots of her hair till she turn around to kiss her

OK, but I know that some guys (possibly you too?) are too scared to be uncontrollably bold especially around a hot girl that has the most perfect lips…

You know that she only wants a perfectly confident guy and that’s so unfair… So what can you do? 

Here’s what I recommend you do: 

Watch The Stealth Seduction Documentary (previously banned from YouTube) and learn how to arouse cute girls without their knowledge. 

It’s actually free of charge to watch (for now) and the stuff you’ll learn in that documentary really works, you just have to promise me that you won’t use it on girls that are seriously uninterested! 

description of asking a girl for a kiss in a way that always always works

4. Ask her if you can kiss nicely

Becoming a bad boy is tons of fun. You get to sleep with multiple women every week without ever needing to maintain them!

But there is something seductive about being a gentleman. You can be polite and sexy at the same time when you have high levels of confidence. 

So how do you ask a girl for a kiss nicely like a gentleman?

  1. Hug her warmly
  2. Look into her eyes lovingly 
  3. Caress her hands softly
  4. Smile warmly 

Then, before you kiss, say:

  1. [Her name], this might be the perfect moment that our lips may meet.
  2. You wouldn’t mind if I kissed you now, would you? [3]
  3. [Whisper in her ear] I just can’t wait any longer
  4. I need to kiss your precious lips
  5. Your lips look too painfully dry
  6. I know you’re dying to kiss me…
  7. I can tell that you need to kiss me
  8. Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
  9. I need your perfect lips now
  10. Sorry I can’t hold myself back
  11. Look up! 
  12. I know you love me 

Kiss, then say (these work whether you’ve been a gentleman or a bad boy):

  1. Wow
  2. Damn, those lips
  3. Damn, your lips…/ damn your lips are too much…
  4. The wet ones are the best
  5. Now I got a boner, what are we going to do about this?
  6. I’m not done with you 
  7. Ten out of ten
  8. I’ve been waiting too long
  9. You did good
  10. Do you think I’m done with you? [take her to the bedroom]
  11. [Place your index finger on her lips] that’s all you get for today
  12. [wink, wink] 7 out of 10
  13. What do you say? [She says] thank you. [You say] good girl [then kiss more]. [5]
  14. Perfect body
  15. I want you right now [then take her into your bedroom]
  16. [for whatever reason, if you can’t kiss more lean in one last time as if you’re about to kiss again, but say] don’t worry you’ll get more later

It sounds a little corny, but most girls will love it. 

[irp posts=”1695″ name=”How to Kiss a Girl In 17 Easy to Follow Steps”]

telling a girl that you want to kiss her

5. Telling your girlfriend that you want to kiss

You’ve learned how to ask like a kind gentleman and tell her like an alpha male, but which is best when you’re dealing with your girlfriend?

In my opinion, it depends:

If you’re in the right place and time to give her a passionate kiss, do it. 

If you’re giving her a goodnight kiss or she’s heading out to work, a quick kiss on the cheek is perfect. 

However, if this is your first date and you kiss her with a crazy amount of passion, she will freak out.

So for first dates, keep your kissing nice and easy!


6. Ask or tell her using your body language

Replacing words with body language is one of the biggest signs of alpha male body language. Here are some simple examples:

  1. Instead of saying of yes/no, nod up/ down
  2. Instead of saying come here, motion for that person to come over with your index finger Stomping your foot on the ground 
  3. Instead of telling someone to shut up, place your index finger on your mouth while looking at the person dead in the eye

Sounds great! But how do you signal to a girl that you want to kiss her without words? 

  1. While you sitting together on a couch talking, pause and simply look into her eyes with desire
  2. Motion her to come to you while licking your lips
  3. Slide your hands up up and down her thighs while playing with your lips
  4. Point towards to your cheek as if your expecting a kiss (you can also point towards your lips)
  5. Take her favorite red lipstick, walk over to her, pass it too her and give her a cheeky smile (it may help to say: I’m waiting)

Will this take more confidence? Of course, but do girls like it more? You bet! 

But like we talked about earlier: if you watch The Stealth Seduction Documentary, you’ll get the confidence to seduce girls that your friends can’t even dream of talking to and you’ll make all your friends super jealous!

7. Ask her in a teasing way

Sometimes being flirty can do the job perfectly, you don’t always have to be indirect or super bold.

Here are some examples for my post 11 Steps to Kiss a GIRL for The First Time With Total Confidence:

  1. What a dumb girl, why can’t you be a little more discreet about getting me to kiss you
  2. I don’t have time for your perfect lips [wink]
  3. Gosh what makes you think that your pretty face deserves my time?
  4. You better apologize about making me stare at those red, sexy lips
  5. Do you do anything else besides having the cutest lips?

If she’s a short girl, use one of these lines:

  1. Ha ha, your lips don’t even reach my chin
  2. If only I had a taller girl that was tall enough to kiss me
  3. Why couldn’t you grow at least another couple inches for me?
  4. If you weren’t so short we would have made out already!

Sound confident, be flirty and she’ll be super excited to kiss you!

asking a girl to kiss you in a teasing way

8. Ask her to stand up to kiss you

This may become your favorite way of asking a girl to kiss indirectly because it always gives her a chance to back away without making things awkward:

Here are some examples:

  1. Tell her to stand on a bench without telling her why
  2. Tell her to sit on top of your pickup truck with a twinkle in my eyes
  3. Tell her to stand up straight OR… 
  4. Tell her to get of her tippy toes because “you can’t quite reach me”

In all of these examples, you want to say it with a flirty smile and give her a slight wink so that she knows you’ve got a little surprise for her.

9. Compliment her lips in a flirty way

Once you learn the following lines to compliment a girl’s lips, it’ll be super easy to get a girl to kiss you because she’ll be so warmed up!

Here are some examples of complimenting a girls lips:

  1. I’ve never seen the most natural, perfect lips in my life
  2. I’m sure your lips taste like heaven
  3. My lips are irresistibly attracted to your angelic lips
  4. Your lips are so beautiful – they’re dangerous!
  5. I hope those lips don’t make me numb
  6. You have the fullest lips
  7. Women would pay a million dollars to get lips like yours [6]
  8. Your thin cherry lips are just so juicy and I find them wildly kissable
  9. You have the most perfect lips
  10. Your lips are impossibly beautiful
  11. You have the most perfectly shaped lips, my mind is totally blown

Your girl will get the point and if you lean in for the kiss at the right time, she’ll meet you halfway!

10. Ask her over text

Here’s how you can ask a girl for a kiss over text (or at least tease her to the idea of kissing you):

  1. Please don’t put on too much lipstick, I don’t want to have a hard time kissing you
  2. Brush your teeth, I’ll need you later
  3. Use the same lipstick that you had on when we met and I promise you’ll get a kiss
  4. We can meet up at the coffee shop, but if you wear that same dress I’ll be forced to kiss you

However, I recommend you wait for the actual date before you mention anything about kissing (unless she’s already your girlfriend). If you need some more examples and rules for texting girls, read my guide to flirting with girls over text.

example of a girl's lips


I can’t believe you made it all way here! I am so happy that this article helped you out!

But you need to be ready to help yourself out and that starts with taking real life action. Go approach girls, get some dates and kiss!

I know it’s scary, but it’s what you need you to do if you want to see results.

Your friend,

Colt Smith

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About the author 

Coach Colt here, the founder of Dating Armory, your go-to source for no-nonsense, practical relationship advice. I'm a bisexual male in a same-sex open relationship and a researcher in sex, love, and relationships with 7+ years of experience. I specialize in helping both men and women navigate the crazy world of dating.

Don't miss my other guides packed with practical dating advice (no bullshit repeated Platitudes) and tons of real life examples:

My Top 57 First Date Ideas That Always Work (As a Dating Coach)

Are Coffee Dates Good? It (Kinda) Depends

17 Basic Coffee Date Tips (From a Dating Coach)

How to Get a Gay Boyfriend: 25 Tips That Work